>Smart-Ass Answer #5: A flight attendant was stationed at the
departure
>gate to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for
>the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her. Without
>missing a beat....she said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket, not your
stub."
>
>Smart-Ass Answer #4: A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at
>the grocery store, but she couldn't find one big enough for her
family.
>She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"
>The stock boy replied, "No, Ma'am, they're dead."
>
>Smart-Ass Answer #3: The cop got out of his car and the kid who was
>stopped for speeding rolled down his window.
>"I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said.
>The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could."
>When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way
>without a ticket.
>
>Smart-Ass Answer #2: A truck driver was driving along on the freeway.
A
>sign comes up that reads "Low Bridge Ahead." Before he knows it, the
>bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars
>are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets
>out of his car and walks to the truck driver, puts his hands on his
hips
>and says, "Got stuck, huh?"
>The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out
of
gas."
>
>AND NOW........
>
>FOR THE #1 SMART-ASS ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2004:
>
>A college professor reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam.
>"Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here
>tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal
injury or illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it,
no
other excuses whatsoever!"
>A smart-ass guy in the back of the room raises his hand and asks,
"What
>would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and
utter sexual exhaustion?"
>The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence
is
>restored, the professor smiles knowingly at the student, shakes her
head
>and sweetly says,
"Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand."
departure
>gate to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for
>the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her. Without
>missing a beat....she said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket, not your
stub."
>
>Smart-Ass Answer #4: A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at
>the grocery store, but she couldn't find one big enough for her
family.
>She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"
>The stock boy replied, "No, Ma'am, they're dead."
>
>Smart-Ass Answer #3: The cop got out of his car and the kid who was
>stopped for speeding rolled down his window.
>"I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said.
>The kid replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could."
>When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way
>without a ticket.
>
>Smart-Ass Answer #2: A truck driver was driving along on the freeway.
A
>sign comes up that reads "Low Bridge Ahead." Before he knows it, the
>bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars
>are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets
>out of his car and walks to the truck driver, puts his hands on his
hips
>and says, "Got stuck, huh?"
>The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out
of
gas."
>
>AND NOW........
>
>FOR THE #1 SMART-ASS ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2004:
>
>A college professor reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam.
>"Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here
>tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal
injury or illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it,
no
other excuses whatsoever!"
>A smart-ass guy in the back of the room raises his hand and asks,
"What
>would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and
utter sexual exhaustion?"
>The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence
is
>restored, the professor smiles knowingly at the student, shakes her
head
>and sweetly says,
"Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand."
