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Top Ten Excuses for Letting Another Three Months Pass Between Top Ten Lists

Dave2112

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I know, I know. It’s been another long lapse between Top Ten Lists. Sorry about that. But, in the words of Han Solo…"It’s not my fault!"

10) Damned if I know how, but every time I put a Bush joke into a list, a guy in a black suit and sunglasses showed up twenty minutes later to say "Knock it off."

9) Cologne bottle. Airport security. Ensuing wackiness.

8) Been working really hard to get the body of a 19-year-old….strapped to a rack in my basement.

7) Cat Porn. Not as easy to direct as you might think.

6) Apparently, it’s illegal or something to follow Condoleeza Rice around and tell her how hot she’d look in a ball-gag.

5) Been trying to get my Immigration Bill through Congress, but there seems to be some resistance to the Laser Cannon Act.

4) Went to Guantanamo Bay to get my teeth cleaned, but there was some fat guy ahead of me.

3) Couldn’t make it to NEST this year, so I spent months organizing my own get-together. Seems Barbie is waaaay more ticklish than Skipper.

2) Went to a "Free Paris Hilton" protest, and both of us got arrested.

1) Bought all four seasons of “The Man Show” on DVD, and there’s only so much a man can see of Juggy Vanessa before masturbating himself into a freakin’ coma.

:triangle:
 
I hope those cats were over 18, which would make them very old. :cat:
 
Actually, I do have one who is turning 21 in August.

She was best used as a grip on that particular film.
 
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