two female roommates,i tickle their feet. thoughts.

[rhiannon]

You're not "pushing your fetish" on anyone by giving a quick tickle here and there and getting a little aroused by it.

That is true....it's all about how you do it. And some people seem to be going a little overboard!

 

[proud2tickle]

ok for mark.... look your living with two girls u dont have a problem with what ur doing so far.... if you they feel like your crossing the line they will let u know....


as for the whole touching and just looking thing well i consider it the same. The Lord says if you lust after a woman you have committed adultery with her in ur heart. and its just as bad.... so if some girl who is a friend walks by and u check her out and lust over her in my opinion its just as wrong as if u tickle her and get arroused. physical contact with a strange should never happen unless that stranger has giving u the go ahead or they are unconscious and you can save their life and you believe they would want u to save them(laws for emt and paramedics). your living with these girls and your havent insulted them by tickling them..... and i am sure millions of men and women have lived together and flirted without tickling and i really see it as the same thing...thats why there are degrees to things.... like rape is different then sexual assault and battary is different then assault. i think women like men getting aroused when they wear certain clothing or flirt... if mark gets aroused by tickling them and they are still ok with being tickled... and i am sure she is enjoying the massages( i know everyone would get aroused from that) then i dont really see harm in it until she or they have an issue with it...


thats how it works in the real world anyway

 

[rhiannon]

... if mark gets aroused by tickling them and they are still ok with being tickled

That's the thing here...they can't be okay with it because they don't know.

i am sure she is enjoying the massages( i know everyone would get aroused from that)

Nah. Not everyone gets aroused from a foot massage. What makes you think that?

 

[DontAskJusTckle]

Maybe you didn't notice, but in threads like this, it's usually women who say it's wrong and guys who just don't care as long as they get what they want. That should tell you something.

Actually, it's usually the SAME women who say it's wrong and it does tell me something. It tells me who the sanctimonious holier-than-thou moralists are.

Why doesn't everybody who wonders if they should tell their unsuspecting lees that they have a fetish make a start and tell them they have a fetish and see how they react!

Because there is simply no reason to! They are perfectly happy internalizing their excitement and the girls are perfectly happy getting foot rubs and tickles. What sane person is going to want to risk blowing that?

Then we could actually hear the reactions!

The fact that you'd want to eavesdrop on such reactions is creepy in and of itself.

I say it again, there is a REASON why people are so unsure about telling,

and it's a damn good reason.

and why these threads pop up here every few weeks!

Because this is a tickling forum, and not all tickling is conducted with Rhiannon's moralistic stamp of approval.

Because even though a lot of people don't want to hear it, they KNOW that the people they tickle would not approve and not allow it anymore if they knew that it turns them on!

How do they know that? The only way they could possibly know is to actually blurt it out, and there's simply no reason to do so. Just because you react a certain way, doesn't mean that real world women do.

True, but they have a say so over who they allow to touch them sexually.

This isn't about touching them sexually. This is about foot rubbing and tickling. Those are not sexual actions, no matter who is doing them.

And if they are not aware of it, they are robbed the chance of saying no!

OMG, this just keeps getting more and more ridiculous. The only way they could be unaware of being touched sexually would be if they were unconscious. That would also be the only way they would be robbed of the chance of saying no. If they are conscious, they most certainly can say no to any kind of touching, be it sexual or no.

Don't be so sure! This could still run as sexual abuse or sexual harrassment!

If that were true, then so could slow dancing.

"Hey you! You're under arrest for LIKING that too much!"

 

[april]

 

[Mark Diplock]

I may be to late to reply in time, but i think generally its down to yourself entirely. If you feel you need to own up to them and tell them how you feel about it then by all means.. just be prepared like some others have said on this thread that things could go pretty sour.

On the other hand someone said try leaving a picture up on your laptop or something and see if how they react. Again it may be a negative reaction though. The only way you'll know is if you try it..

But personally.. if your in this situation where you have access to their feet and it happens often. I'd keep quiet and count your lucky stars. Not many get such a life.

 

[TicklingTips]

Your view on what is ethical is completely scewed. Hugs are hugs UNLESS you have a hug fetish. Tickling is just tickling UNLESS you have a tickling fetish. Sure, someone may get turned on by a hug but its unnintentional. When someone intentionally...note the word intentional, does something SEXUALY to another person that clearly turns them on and the other person is unaware, it is unethical. This is not a situation where someone just stares at someone, your physically touching someone for sexual gratification. The fact that this person does not want to tell (or cant bc it would clearly freak them out) the girls he's doing this too is a sign that its not right. Why hide it? If its not wrong why hide it? You know exactly why. Its obviouse that you would rather have your sexual gratification than look at something for what it is...wrong. Your talking about something akin to sexual nonconsent...which is not ethical. I wont argue with you any further. I also wont seek to befriend you bc as a female, I am wary and frankly freaked out by your kind.

Interesting how I can disagree with you peacefully, while you insult me and refer to "your kind" and yet YOU are freaked out by ME.

You have never met me, and have no idea how I live my life. For you to make judgements about my ethics being skewed, or better yet deciding that clearly I would do something I know is wrong to gain sexual pleasure, is beyond a joke.

As I explained before, ethics is subjective. It's not that I see this as wrong and yet want to do it. It's that I don't believe a bit of tickling is wrong in the first place.

Please refrain from making judgements about my ethics or personality in future. Or referring to "my kind" as if I'm in some big group along with rapists and stalkers. I'm a decent person and the people who know me in real life, and the people who know me well on the TMF would attest to that.

The fact that I disagree with you doesn't change that.

 

[TicklingTips]

This honostly is an open minded community.

See my post above.

 

[Deleted member 66627]

You do realize I'm a guy right?

I'm well aware what you are.

 

[smokinj]

Wow this thread has inspired some great debate! Hey Mark, are you more confused than ever on what to do?

Here it is again, DO NOT TELL THEM. You would be killing the golden goose and once you tell them theres no going back.

Its not rape or sexual abuse of any kind. You get off on tickling them and they seem to be on board. Great. If they feel uncomfortable they will tell you and you have to stop. At least you salvage the friendship that way.

 

[Speedbump]

That is true....it's all about how you do it. And some people seem to be going a little overboard!

Truth.

I won't lie, I'm guilty of this stuff, as many are. I knew a girl briefly where I worked, not too long ago, who I would talk to quite a bit, and we joked around a lot, and I would tickle her for a couple minutes now and then off and on in a teasing, flirty way, and getting pretty aroused by it.

She just smiled and laughed, continued to joke around and called me "mean" jokingly and I kept it playful and we both had a good time. I knew she was moving away in a short time and that she had a boyfriend, so I wasn't looking to do anything sexual with her out of respect for the boyfriend who I also knew a little, so I didn't go too overboard and pretended it was just a natural, fun thing I decided to do for the helluvit.

In my opinion, I don't believe I'm a bad person for being aroused by this, and fooling around like I was, as we both had a good time from it, and she liked me a lot and we talked on blackberry messenger, and she'd hug me when she saw me and stuff.

I've done it before more than that, but not a lot. And if someone talked about hating tickling, or other stuff, I would just move on with the conversation or something and never do it again. 😛

So yes, it really is all about how you act during the situation.. Just try your hardest not be too creepy and things will work out just fiiiiine! lol

 

[rhiannon]

What worries me about the whole situation is always...well, let's call it the big picture. Fetishes make people uncomfortable for a lot of reasons, and one reason is that they are usually not attached to a sexual context as the majority of people would view it.

This includes the possibility that something sexual is going on and one person in it not being aware of it.

That's part of why a lot of people react uneasy when it comes to fetishes, and if there are a lot of people around who use this non-awareness to get their jollies, it will just further increase the general creepiness of fetishes.

 

[Morning Lorie]

Any girl who takes care of herself and looks okay knows that guys will check her out from top to bottom. They will undress her and fantasize and masturbate. It would be nice if we weren't such sexual objects for them, but we live in an imperfect world. The real gentlemen will keep quiet about it, because unless we are intimate, that is TMI.

I really don't get all this anxiety over some sensible discretion. If a friend tickles me and is secretly getting off on it, I don't want to know about it. Wrestle with your conscience all you want, but your resolution better not involve a confession to me. Work it out, guys.

 

[Speedbump]

Any girl who takes care of herself and looks okay knows that guys will check her out from top to bottom. They will undress her and fantasize and masturbate. It would be nice if we weren't such sexual objects for them, but we live in an imperfect world. The real gentlemen will keep quiet about it, because unless we are intimate, that is TMI.

I really don't get all this anxiety over some sensible discretion. If a friend tickles me and is secretly getting off on it, I don't want to know about it. Wrestle with your conscience all you want, but your resolution better not involve a confession to me. Work it out, guys.

A lot of girls, if not the majority, are just as dirty as guys. Girls dress a certain way to garner the attention they then pretend not to want because somehow it's 'wrong' for them to think that way, or they'd be considered slutty, or it's just to keep people more interested (always want what you can't have sorta thing).

Basically, if they act like they don't want sexual attention while dressed incredibly sexy, it's really more that they don't want it from you.

They may not always want men. Some may be asexual with no sex drive whatsoever and really don't care. But you get the point.

As for the rest of the post, you pretty much hit the nail on the head about the sensible discretion. Some things you do and just keep to yourself because to say anything might make things worse. All there is to it.

 

[rhiannon]

Some things you do and just keep to yourself because to say anything might make things worse.

But doesn't that already imply that you know you're doing something wrong? 🙂

 

[Speedbump]

But doesn't that already imply that you know you're doing something wrong? 🙂

It implies I'm doing something I want to do, and they don't need to know how much I enjoy because that's my business.

Coming out and saying, "Listen, I just tickled you and got really hard, I'm gonna go jerk off to that thought" would be the wrong thing to do.

 

[rhiannon]

Coming out and saying, "Listen, I just tickled you and got really hard, I'm gonna go jerk off to that thought" would be the wrong thing to do.

Yeah, because you know exactly that they would not let you do it again and possibly even kick you in the nuts for doing it. 🙂 So, you are hiding something from them for your own advantage. That is exactly the point I and several others are trying to make here.

I mean - at least admit that you are being sneaky and disrespecting others in order to get what you want. 🙂 You already know you are! 🙂 Everybody knows it won't stop people from doing so in the future, but at least don't try to downplay it.

 

[Speedbump]

Yeah, because you know exactly that they would not let you do it again and possibly even kick you in the nuts for doing it. 🙂 So, you are hiding something from them for your own advantage. That is exactly the point I and several others are trying to make here.

I mean - at least admit that you are being sneaky and disrespecting others in order to get what you want. 🙂 You already know you are! 🙂 Everybody knows it won't stop people from doing so in the future, but at least don't try to downplay it.

The thing here is that, yes, I might be doing for alternate reasons than they think, but there is absolutely nothing wrong with doing it, as long as you don't go overboard. I have no moral quandaries going through my head about the situation. These girls are adults and capable of forming their own opinions about something, and whether or not either of the two parties find tickling inherently sexual, if the girl doesn't like being tickled in general she'll say so.

It's at this point, where, if you try to pursue tickling with her further, then it can get a little weird.

So in the end, doing it and keeping the arousal to yourself is a much more desirable situation than to be completely forward about it and tickling her, that's all I'm trying to get across.

I don't remember ever saying I wasn't being sneaky in a situation like this, I just said there's nothing wrong with it. I'm not disrespecting anyone by doing this - if anything, it's a compliment that I even want to. Just because I tickle a girl doesn't mean I think of her entirely as a sexual object and not as a person.

Although from what I've seen in this thread, several of the woman seem to think that's the case for all guys.

 

[FeatherFeet]

you know--there is also the possiblity that someone can have a tickling fetish in certain situations, but it's also just fun other times.

For example--I tickle my girlfriend and pretty much all my female friends, and they all tickle me. Sometimes in groups, usually in groups. My girlfriend knows of my sexual desires for it and has no problem with it--because when me and her do sexual tickling it's usually coupled with other forms of play that sort of make all the difference.

Somtimes, it's important to make sure that this isn't the case when talking about someone who is doing something for "sexual pleasure"

As for the whole thing--rape is a state of mind--that is, a violation, uncomfortable, against someone's will. In order for it to be such a thing, the person has to feel violated, uncomfortable etc etc. That means someone would have to feel that same sense of violation that certain people here might feel if someone they were comfortable with was tickling.

Remember the fetish goes both ways--because it is sexual to you, you would feel violated if someone you didn't agree with, or someone was getting turned on by it who might not be your SO etc. However, normal people tend to take tickling with a grain of salt, the touch is no different to them on the same level of massage--they are probably not going to care.

Not to mention, it's a fun activty that happens in many group situations--sometimes I initiate it, other times they do. Do I announce to all of my friends that I have a tickling fetish? No, why? Because I am not sexually active with them all--only my girlfriend needs to know that. They do know that I "love the shit out of tickling" and are fine with that.

It's not so easy to come up with guidelines for what's right and wrong when it comes to disclosure. Do you really want to know all of your friend's fetishes? Do you really want to know what every day activities you would never even think of might turn them on? Brushing hair, wearing red pants, leaving the tiolet seat up. It's an endless cycle.

It's also not like these are girls off the street--they are his roomates, and presumably there is a certain level of comfort between them.

I personally have always been against the idea of disclosure. Why? Because it's those long drawn out "i have a confession...I have a tickle fetish" that draws attention to and makes the whole thing seem weird. It's far better when people just treat it like it's nothing out of the ordinary.
In nature, people just do what natrually turns them on--it's what they are programmed to do. There are some people who only get off on missionary--some who only get off on doggie style, some who really like boobs, some who really like shoulder rubs--and they go for it because that's the programming--as long as the other person isn't having an issue with it, is there really a problem?

The idea of disclosure would make everyone self conscious--everyone talking about everyting that turns them on every day and then keep the uptight half the planet from doing half the things they normally do just to avoid accidently turning people on.

 

[proud2tickle]

me and featherfeet are not the same person..... we just happen to share great minds

 

[DontAskJusTckle]

What worries me about the whole situation is always...well, let's call it the big picture. Fetishes make people uncomfortable for a lot of reasons, and one reason is that they are usually not attached to a sexual context as the majority of people would view it.

Which is why people should not use the term fetish when dealing with people you know. It's better to lose that word out of your vocabulary when engaging in tickling with the vanilla sect.

This includes the possibility that something sexual is going on and one person in it not being aware of it.

The only sexual goings-on are strictly in the mind of one of the participants. That does not make tickling a sexual activity. Tickling private parts? THAT's when tickling becomes sexual. But if the guys stick to feet, ribs, and armpits, there is nothing sexual about it.

That's part of why a lot of people react uneasy when it comes to fetishes, and if there are a lot of people around who use this non-awareness to get their jollies, it will just further increase the general creepiness of fetishes.

What will increase the perception of creepiness more? A guy who tickles a girl who will likely never know he secretly gets turned on by it? Or a guy who says, "Okay, I'm going to tickle you, but before I do, you need to know that tickling is a sexually exciting fetish for me."

Guys, don't listen to these finger-pointing guilt trippers. If you find yourself in a situation similar to that described in the OP, go for the tickling! You are not obliged to act any differently from a vanilla guy in that same situation. Just keep it cool and keep it clean.

 

[Speedbump]

What will increase the perception of creepiness more? A guy who tickles a girl who will likely never know he secretly gets turned on by it? Or a guy who says, "Okay, I'm going to tickle you, but before I do, you need to know that tickling is a sexually exciting fetish for me."

Guys, don't listen to these finger-pointing guilt trippers. If you find yourself in a situation similar to that described in the OP, go for the tickling! You are not obliged to act any differently from a vanilla guy in that same situation. Just keep it cool and keep it clean.

Exactly. Well put. Everyone listen to this guy.

 

[PurpleStyle]

Which is why people should not use the term fetish when dealing with people you know. It's better to lose that word out of your vocabulary when engaging in tickling with the vanilla sect.

The only sexual goings-on are strictly in the mind of one of the participants. That does not make tickling a sexual activity. Tickling private parts? THAT's when tickling becomes sexual. But if the guys stick to feet, ribs, and armpits, there is nothing sexual about it.

What will increase the perception of creepiness more? A guy who tickles a girl who will likely never know he secretly gets turned on by it? Or a guy who says, "Okay, I'm going to tickle you, but before I do, you need to know that tickling is a sexually exciting fetish for me."

Guys, don't listen to these finger-pointing guilt trippers. If you find yourself in a situation similar to that described in the OP, go for the tickling! You are not obliged to act any differently from a vanilla guy in that same situation. Just keep it cool and keep it clean.

Why doesn't it surprise me to see you advocating what borders on sexual abuse?

Anyway, open question to the all people who advocate indulging their fetish with somebody unaware:

Would you tickle your mom or your sister's feet? Or any other body part you enjoy tickling? Be honest.

 

[rhiannon]

What will increase the perception of creepiness more? A guy who tickles a girl who will likely never know he secretly gets turned on by it? Or a guy who says, "Okay, I'm going to tickle you, but before I do, you need to know that tickling is a sexually exciting fetish for me."

I'm not saying that people should go around and spill the beans about their fetish - I just say I find it morally wrong to use unsuspecting people to get their jollies off. Just like I would find it morally wrong to have a pedophile ride a child on his lap. I don't see any difference in the situation.

Do you really want to know all of your friend's fetishes? Do you really want to know what every day activities you would never even think of might turn them on? Brushing hair, wearing red pants, leaving the tiolet seat up.

No. What I want and what I excpect from my friends is that they don't use me for their sexual pleasures without me knowing. It's kind of a trust issue.

 

[DontAskJusTckle]

I just say I find it morally wrong to use unsuspecting people to get their jollies off. Just like I would find it morally wrong to have a pedophile ride a child on his lap. I don't see any difference in the situation.

So you don't see the difference between pedophilia and tickling interaction between adults?? Remind me to never let you babysit my kids!

No. What I want and what I excpect from my friends is that they don't use me for their sexual pleasures without me knowing. It's kind of a trust issue.

That's fine for YOU, but you're preaching to everybody in this thread and in every other thread like this as though your trust issues apply to everybody.

I have news for you. They don't.

Why doesn't it surprise me to see you advocating what borders on sexual abuse?

Well, since I haven't nor wouldn't advocate what borders on sexual abuse, I wouldn't know. I guess we'll just have to live with the mystery.

Anyway, open question to the all people who advocate indulging their fetish with somebody unaware:

Would you tickle your mom or your sister's feet? Or any other body part you enjoy tickling? Be honest.

How about you honestly explain how this question pertains at all?