Update on the girlfriend situation.

[PenMasterRule]

Well I can't be called a quitter until now. My GF came over one last time over the weekend. She had some trouble getting up here. She got lost. Her car broke down (nightmare situation.) But thankfully got up here safely before I could run out and get her myself. She was only twenty miles away from the house so it wouldn't have taken me long to get there.

Anyways things started off pretty nicely. Were both gamers (yep a girl gamer!) And we started shooting each other on this stage I built for 'Farcry' on the xbox. We were having a really great time. Anyways we go into my bedroom so we could discuss a few things. You see lately I feel like she's only seeing me for one thing. Cause honestly she's kind of grabby. And most of you might not think this is a bad thing, but just keep reading. You'll see why I thought it was a bad thing and was right.

Well I told her I wanted to take things slower. And we should sleep in separate bedrooms tonight. She didn't seem to have a problem with it, but after a few minutes of NOT having a problem with it she suddenly DID have one. And until we went to bed she kept pushing me to sleep with her in the same bed, but I wanted to stick to my guns on this one.

Anyways after a few moments of this her EX boyfriend calls. Anyways I had enough of this and I asked if I could talk to him. She puts him on the phone and we start arguing. I told him to back off and not call anymore. And he kept insisting on me putting my GF on the phone. Finally she gets on and starts talking to him. And he hangs up. I thought it was funny and we started laughing. Well a few minutes later he calls back and she puts him on speaker. She tells him they are done and she doesn't want to see him ever again.

I felt great about this. Finally he was going to get the message. Or so I thought. During the conversation he asks her if they are really through. And she says 'What do you think?' And he says 'You'll still want to be with me'. And she says 'well I'll leave it up to you.' I'm not repeating this perfectly, but the bottom line is she agreed to keep seeing him. Great! Well they hang up and she stands, wraps her arms around me and says 'It'll be ok'. She's comforting me now! And then she asks if I'll sleep in the same bed with her.

That's why I saw us sleeping together as a problem. I was sure she was still hung up over her EX. And it turns out it's true. And it turns out her EX wasn't really her EX. They were just going through a spat. So depending on who you ask she was either cheating on him with me or she was cheating on both of us. I honestly didn't know she was still seeing her EX. I just thought he was stalking her. I mean who would believe an EX over their own GF? So this is where the story gets awkward.

I decided to go to bed early that night. I go into a separate bedroom and fall asleep. Sometime during the night (I don't have a clock in that room either so I'm not sure what time it was.) My GF bursts into the room saying she can't sleep. Well I tell her it'll be ok. And after a few moments she gets pissed and leaves the room saying she wished she never came up this weekend. The next morning (today) she gets up still pissed. Doesn't say a word to me until a few moments after waking up. Anyways I take her to her car, her dad comes and takes her home. And now I'm down a GF.

I really regret ever hooking back up with her. I mean I'm not broken hearted or anything, just all the aggravation and crap that I went through. The lies. I'm just done with everything when it comes to her. Oh and her BF now knows my full name, my phone number and the town I live in. My GF said it slipped from her mouth. Yeah....


So that's the update. Hopefully it's the last.

 

[MrMacphisto]

Sorry to hear it man... I've sort of been in that situation before.

I also had a friend who really got used by this girl that I was actually briefly interested in myself, but before we figured out how much of a user she was, I had jokingly told him he had "first dibs." He ended up dating her for like a month before she abruptly broke up with him and got back with her ex.

I felt really bad for him after that, but deep down, I was also glad I hadn't tried dating her.

So yeah, it's gonna hurt for a little while man. Some women are like that, but hopefully, you'll meet one more reliable in the near future.

 

[PenMasterRule]

Sorry to hear it man... I've sort of been in that situation before.

I also had a friend who really got used by this girl that I was actually briefly interested in myself, but before we figured out how much of a user she was, I had jokingly told him he had "first dibs." He ended up dating her for like a month before she abruptly broke up with him and got back with her ex.

I felt really bad for him after that, but deep down, I was also glad I hadn't tried dating her.

So yeah, it's gonna hurt for a little while man. Some women are like that, but hopefully, you'll meet one more reliable in the near future.

That sucks for your friend man.

Honestly though it's been nothing more then problems and aggravation since we got back together. It really feels like an enormous two-timing weight has been let off my shoulders.

 

[Bugman]

Run,do not walk to the nearest exit.And don't look back.Nuff said i think.

 

[PenMasterRule]

Run,do not walk to the nearest exit.And don't look back.Nuff said i think.

lol I made that exit my best friend.

 

[Bugman]

lol I made that exit my best friend.

A wise choice.I wish you better luck next time around.🙂

 

[PenMasterRule]

A wise choice.I wish you better luck next time around.🙂

That means a lot man. 😀

 

[Mitchell]

Two things bother me here, my friend. First, Her other bf, or "Ex" or whatever, called in the middle of a time that you needed to be with her, and sort things out. That would truly tick me off, and would likely make me want to end things right there.

Then, to compound it, she completely disregarded your feelings about the no sleeping together while this was going on. Thats a big no no. Two red flags if you ask me.

I went through a similar situation, but it was long distance. I dont recall if I ever posted about this before. In 1996, I got this pen pal, and at the time we were just friends. She had a bf at the time. Then, after a while, she and her bf broke up. We started getting really close, and she started writing me letters several times a week, and calling me once or twice a week. She lived in GA, and I in NJ, so it was long distance. We agreed to try to keep it going until we could meet, but if something happened with one of us, we would understand. She did promise me that she was never going back to "Kyle", her ex bf who she dumped.

A bit of time passes, and sure enough, what happens, she's back with Kyle, insisting that they are just "friends". This really ticked me off, because we would have these long 2 hr convos, and were really into each other. She then accused me of trying to control who she was with, and I said "No, we agreed, if you find another bf, okay, but you promised me no Kyle". She had a thing for him. After a while, we stopped communicating, because she was a member of the Mormon Church, and wanted me to become a Mormon, with full rituals of the Church, and that was a sticking point. I was very bummed, because we were in comminication three years, and I really cared for her. The saving grace was that soon after we stopped talking, I moved from NJ to Lancaster, which was a help.

Anyhow, sorry to go on about this situation. My advice, if she disregards you, with those important issues, she really isnt considering your feelings. If that happened to me, I'd be done with her, and move on to someone who is more considerate of how you feel.

I know that matters of the heart are very difficult, as I've been there. I wish you luck in your decision.

Mitch

 

[PenMasterRule]

Two things bother me here, my friend. First, Her other bf, or "Ex" or whatever, called in the middle of a time that you needed to be with her, and sort things out. That would truly tick me off, and would likely make me want to end things right there.

Then, to compound it, she completely disregarded your feelings about the no sleeping together while this was going on. Thats a big no no. Two red flags if you ask me.

I went through a similar situation, but it was long distance. I dont recall if I ever posted about this before. In 1996, I got this pen pal, and at the time we were just friends. She had a bf at the time. Then, after a while, she and her bf broke up. We started getting really close, and she started writing me letters several times a week, and calling me once or twice a week. She lived in GA, and I in NJ, so it was long distance. We agreed to try to keep it going until we could meet, but if something happened with one of us, we would understand. She did promise me that she was never going back to "Kyle", her ex bf who she dumped.

A bit of time passes, and sure enough, what happens, she's back with Kyle, insisting that they are just "friends". This really ticked me off, because we would have these long 2 hr convos, and were really into each other. She then accused me of trying to control who she was with, and I said "No, we agreed, if you find another bf, okay, but you promised me no Kyle". She had a thing for him. After a while, we stopped communicating, because she was a member of the Mormon Church, and wanted me to become a Mormon, with full rituals of the Church, and that was a sticking point. I was very bummed, because we were in comminication three years, and I really cared for her. The saving grace was that soon after we stopped talking, I moved from NJ to Lancaster, which was a help.

Anyhow, sorry to go on about this situation. My advice, if she disregards you, with those important issues, she really isnt considering your feelings. If that happened to me, I'd be done with her, and move on to someone who is more considerate of how you feel.

I know that matters of the heart are very difficult, as I've been there. I wish you luck in your decision.

Mitch

Thanks man. I see where your coming from. Honestly those red flags were really huge when they popped up. I actually couldn't believe she didn't see it as a problem. I mean being insensitive is one thing, but to pretend what just happened really didn't (I mean she acted like nothing happened.) is an entirely different story. Anyways I ended things between us pretty early this morning. And the funny thing is about what you said, it actually reminded me of what another person said to me in a PM. He said 'She didn't come all the way out to your house to sleep in another room'. Which pretty much speaks volumes as to why she came out in the first place.

Again thanks. I really appreciate it.

 

[Mitchell]

You're welcome. I'm sorry to hear that you had to end things. I know it hurts now, but in the long run, you will be better off. Good Luck to you with finding a girl who will treat you better than she did, bud.

Mitch

 

[PenMasterRule]

You're welcome. I'm sorry to hear that you had to end things. I know it hurts now, but in the long run, you will be better off. Good Luck to you with finding a girl who will treat you better than she did, bud.

Mitch

🙂 Thanks.

 

[Gothika]

sorry to hear that dude that is some messed up crap right there

 

[Musicroxmysox]

Sorry to hear that, but you seem pretty decent and def don't deserve whatever BS she was putting you through.

Hope things get better and such. Good luck. 🙂

 

[chicago]

Girl seems crazy. I don't know how long you guys were seeing each other, but if my boyfriend said he wanted to sleep in separate bedrooms, I'd be fucking pissed too.

 

[Mz Chaos]

Wow... a man who has the chance to get laid but turns it down.

That's not something you see every day.

But seriously...

You did good. Well done on not caving and getting her out of your life.

 

[PenMasterRule]

sorry to hear that dude that is some messed up crap right there

Thanks. It was really a messed up situation.

Sorry to hear that, but you seem pretty decent and def don't deserve whatever BS she was putting you through.

Hope things get better and such. Good luck. 🙂

Thanks I appreciate that.

Girl seems crazy. I don't know how long you guys were seeing each other, but if my boyfriend said he wanted to sleep in separate bedrooms, I'd be fucking pissed too.

Just a few weeks. But the reason I'm fucking pissed AnnieHall, and this might be a point you missed, she was seeing someone else. I thought the only reason she came over was for sex. I wanted to see if it was true. IT WAS! She didn't come over to spend time with me because she was madly in love. She wanted to screw BF2 before she went home to BF1. So I'm not really caring if she was pissed or not. I'm pissed because she was cheating on me. I'm pissed because she decided BF1 was more important then BF2. And let me tell you one more thing AnnieHall. If you did what my GF did then you wouldn't have a right to be fucking pissed. Your BF would have the right not you.

Wow... a man who has the chance to get laid but turns it down.

That's not something you see every day.

But seriously...

You did good. Well done on not caving and getting her out of your life.

Well I wanted to see what was more important to her. I'm old fashion that way. I'd rather be in a relationship for love not sex. Sex doesn't prove someones in love. Escort services prove that.

 

[Capnmad]

And it turns out it's true. And it turns out her EX wasn't really her EX. They were just going through a spat. So depending on who you ask she was either cheating on him with me or she was cheating on both of us. I honestly didn't know she was still seeing her EX. I just thought he was stalking her. I mean who would believe an EX over their own GF?

Though it wasn't as specifically relationship-y as this, I've been in an analogous situation on the other side of the equation. And of course, which party would trust the other when they're being told different things? Doubtless, she sold the other guy a bill of goods about you, too, only she wasn't a smart enough a manipulator to keep you, he, and all conversations with you two separate. Sooner or later, the curtain has to come down, and you can thank your lucky stars she was stupid enough to bring it down herself. When you have a smart manipulator, things can get ugly.

And now I'm down a GF.

No. You're down a manipulator. She was never a girlfriend nor even a friend. She posed as one to get what she wanted, and to fill her personal needs. You're a smarter man (and a safer one) to have recognized what she is and to have rid yourself of her. Word of advice: No matter what, don't take her back. No one needs a manipulator/sociopath in their life.

 

[chicago]

Just a few weeks. But the reason I'm fucking pissed AnnieHall, and this might be a point you missed, she was seeing someone else. I thought the only reason she came over was for sex. I wanted to see if it was true. IT WAS! She didn't come over to spend time with me because she was madly in love. She wanted to screw BF2 before she went home to BF1. So I'm not really caring if she was pissed or not. I'm pissed because she was cheating on me. I'm pissed because she decided BF1 was more important then BF2. And let me tell you one more thing AnnieHall. If you did what my GF did then you wouldn't have a right to be fucking pissed. Your BF would have the right not you.

Yeah, I got it. Frankly, I'm surprised you didn't let her go sooner.

 

[PenMasterRule]

Though it wasn't as specifically relationship-y as this, I've been in an analogous situation on the other side of the equation. And of course, which party would trust the other when they're being told different things? Doubtless, she sold the other guy a bill of goods about you, too, only she wasn't a smart enough a manipulator to keep you, he, and all conversations with you two separate. Sooner or later, the curtain has to come down, and you can thank your lucky stars she was stupid enough to bring it down herself. When you have a smart manipulator, things can get ugly.





No. You're down a manipulator. She was never a girlfriend nor even a friend. She posed as one to get what she wanted, and to fill her personal needs. You're a smarter man (and a safer one) to have recognized what she is and to have rid yourself of her. Word of advice: No matter what, don't take her back. No one needs a manipulator/sociopath in their life.

I don't plan on taking her back at all. And you're right. I'm down a manipulator. And it's funny what you said. Not only was she dumb enough to bring it down herself she was dumb enough to do it while I was in the same room.

Yeah, I got it. Frankly, I'm surprised you didn't let her go sooner.

I let her go that day.

 

[Capnmad]

I don't plan on taking her back at all.

Well done.

And you're right. I'm down a manipulator. And it's funny what you said. Not only was she dumb enough to bring it down herself she was dumb enough to do it while I was in the same room.

An impressive stroke of luck on your part -- or idiocy on hers. Either way, you can be thankful, brother. Now, when you're ready, find someone worthy of you, keeping in mind the tells and traits about this girl in this past situation so you can keep from repeating history.

 

[PenMasterRule]

Well done.

lol thanks.

An impressive stroke of luck on your part -- or idiocy on hers. Either way, you can be thankful, brother. Now, when you're ready, find someone worthy of you, keeping in mind the tells and traits about this girl in this past situation so you can keep from repeating history.

I like to think it was a mixture of luck and her stupidity. And yeah I don't plan on forgetting anytime soon.

 

[MrMacphisto]

Wow... a man who has the chance to get laid but turns it down.

That's not something you see every day.

But seriously...

You did good. Well done on not caving and getting her out of your life.

Guys often aren't as horny as you'd think, and women are often more horny than they let on.

 

[PenMasterRule]

Guys often aren't as horny as you'd think, and women are often more horny than they let on.

Also I'd like to add guys don't always think about sex.

 

[Skipadeedoodah]

I'm sorry you had to go through such a crappy situation 🙁 Break ups are never easy, but it sounds like you made the right choice. Good for you 🙂

 

[PenMasterRule]

I'm sorry you had to go through such a crappy situation 🙁 Break ups are never easy, but it sounds like you made the right choice. Good for you 🙂

I appreciate that. Thanks 🙂