Vanilla reactions...

[Artoo]

What are "vanilla" peoples reactions to your love of tickling?

When I bit the bullet and told my best friend, he thought it was really cool, though he was concerned for my meeting up with people on the internets (he's an old man in a young man's body, lol).

When I "came out", as it were, most people have given me a positive reaction - I've known vanilla people to be interested in playing, just for the experience of it.

I've never received a hugely negative reaction. Am I just lucky? Or is it all about how you let people know about your fetish?
Your thoughts on a postcard, please.

 

[drew70]

For me, people find it amusing. Many of the women I dated as a young man found it very endearing. Of course, maybe the fact that I was the one enduring the torture and not them made it easier for them to embrace it. 😀

Because of the songs I've written, most of my family and friends know that I'm obsessed with tickling. Nobody gives me a hard time about it, and sometimes some of the women indulge me.

 

[Cavum]

I never experienced something negative from "vanilla" people eigther.
Moust people think it's interesting and funny. Hehe! Tickling is such
a commun thing, so I guess they don't look at it as a big deal.

I think it's more difficult to make vanilla people understand for example spanking or something.

 

[dalekfire]

I, myself, had told only one person who's considered "vanilla," and she reacted just the way you all say they do...by thinking that it was rather amusing...though still confused about the whole "fetish" aspect of it. I guess that's the bigger hurdle, is trying to have them understand exactly what it is about the tickling that we like...besides it being really fun/funny, anyway. lol

 

[Headsnap]

I tend to find that it's like anything else. If you don't make a big deal out of it then it won't be a big deal; as in if you sit people down and sort of reveal that you've got a fetish to them as though you were telling them you had AIDS they'll think "oh fuck, this is SERIOUS BUSINESS!" and make more of it than you'd like them to. If you're casual about it and sort of drop it into conversations in an appropriate way, for instance if a female friend is being a bit flirty and you throw in a reference to tickling her, it'll just be what it is. You might find a few people say things like "Are you... serious?" and maybe even laugh at you a bit but on the whole the reaction is more curious indifference (admittedly mixed with some gentle ribbing) than appalled hostility. One thing to note is that sometimes if female friends find out they'll say things like "Oh God, I don't know how you could find tickling sexy... I HATE being tickled!", and you'll find you can never look at them the same way again. Not that that's a bad thing, mind you 😀

If you're "coming out", for want of a better term, as a fetishist and people are treating you like a Heretic in medieval Spain, you're doing something wrong.

 

[TKForce]

I've only ever had one bad vanilla reaction. I mention it to most of my friends in passing
But one time when I did so the friend looked at me like I was crazy and avoided me ever after that.
To the point where I saw them walking down the street one day and
when they saw me they truned and headed away quickly.
I wonder if they were worried I was going to jump them and tickle them or something.

Just goes to show you some vanillas aren't just vanilla, they're down right bland. lol

 

[steph]

Same here. They usually find out by accident, by a little poke or something at work. I kind of squeak and try to get away from them and it always gets the same look. They'll say, "oh how cute, you're TICKLISH!" I usually start turning red and smile and play shy (which amuses them even further since I'm not really the shy type so tends to get them going even more) "What? YOU'RE embarassed? You want some more? Come here!" Bastards.
XOXO

For me, people find it amusing.

 

[RavenMoon]

I've had some interesting ones, all positive to a degree and never negative. My BDSM buddies usually laugh at first, just as I originally did. But they tend to understand when I discuss the intensity behind it.

But as for vanillas... My sister giggled and wasn't surprised in the least. I have been ticklish and have loved to tickle others all my life... Only she didn't realize the sexual turn it could take. My mother, she giggled to. She had questions about it and thinks its cool, as long as I am happy.

 

[dskodj]

The only kinda negative reaction I ever got from the vanilla (aka extremely boaring sexualy) was from a now "ex" girlfriend. I wasnt ever able to even try it with her (prob the only lady I been with since I been "out of the tickle closet" that didnt let me do it). She was probably the most boaring and selfish sexualy person id ever been with (and sadly, I went off and on with this gal for almost 3 yrs..wtf was I thinkin??!!).

Her responce about the tickling fetish was "well, whats it gonna do for me?", "what am I gonna get out of this?"...ummmmmmm maybe satisfying your man like he would for you????!!! I shit you all not, those were her close to exact words from what I can recall. She wasnt negative as in "you sicko" or anything like that, its just she was so close minded in the sexual aspect.

Dont get me wrong, as a person she was a good hearted woman in other areas of life, but we just didnt click (and she had this "im always right bout everything" type attitude about her that I didnt dig, perfect kinda gal that needed a good tickle torture! LOL!). It wasnt just sexualy we didnt click. We were 2 different worlds mentaly and spirit wise if yas know what I mean. Pure oposite in every way you can think of.

But anyways, thats prob the only reaction I ever got that I could concider negative or close enough to.

 

[Saeria]

Haha it's funny this should come up at the time it did. I finally told my future ex husband today about it (i know him and i was looking for a reason to piss him off) and I would like to detail the conversation:

Me: There are really alot of things about me you don't even know about.
Him: I know you better than you know you. You're too damn weird. About the only thing you've ever done in a normal way is have sex.
Me: My point exactly (by this time i'm all hackled up). It was normal because i was disinterested. Did you even know i have a tickling fetish?
Him: A what?
Me: Tickling fetish.. i get off to being tickled.
Him: Well that's freakin' great, on top of everything else you're a pervert too. Next you'll be telling me you're hanging yourself from the ceiling by your tits while having sex with farm animals.


So in short, he completely rejected the whole idea. He was actually pretty angry about it. Not like he'll ever have to deal with it anyways. I guess that's what i get for marrying someone who resembled a carcass in bed.

 

[Mitchell]

The only three "vanillas" who know about my tickling interest, and my membership with TMF, are my two best friends and my mom. The two best friends dont care, because they have fetishes too, although not tickling. I've posted this before, but I only told my mom shortly after I joined the forum in 2002, due to the fake cop/troll incident where I thought I was in trouble for talking to an underage girl, and it turned out to be fake. Her attitude is that I'm an adult, and I do what I want. I havent told other relatives, like my aunts, or any other friends besides the two, because it isnt their business.

Of the people in my life who do know, their attitudes are basically like "You're an adult, so whatever you do is your business".

Mitch

 

[TKForce]

The only three "vanillas" who know about my tickling interest, and my membership with TMF, are my two best friends and my mom. The two best friends dont care, because they have fetishes too, although not tickling.

Mitch

If your two friends have fetishes then they aren't 'vanilla' then.
I mean, doesn't 'vanilla' mean a person without a fetish? 😕

 

[dskodj]

Haha it's funny this should come up at the time it did. I finally told my future ex husband today about it (i know him and i was looking for a reason to piss him off) and I would like to detail the conversation:

Me: There are really alot of things about me you don't even know about.
Him: I know you better than you know you. You're too damn weird. About the only thing you've ever done in a normal way is have sex.
Me: My point exactly (by this time i'm all hackled up). It was normal because i was disinterested. Did you even know i have a tickling fetish?
Him: A what?
Me: Tickling fetish.. i get off to being tickled.
Him: Well that's freakin' great, on top of everything else you're a pervert too. Next you'll be telling me you're hanging yourself from the ceiling by your tits while having sex with farm animals.


So in short, he completely rejected the whole idea. He was actually pretty angry about it. Not like he'll ever have to deal with it anyways. I guess that's what i get for marrying someone who resembled a carcass in bed.

HAHA!! You know that sounds soooooooo much like past relationships of mine in a nutshell..just the chemestry of the argument/telling off. Kick that boaring idiot to the curb..and good luck with the split! Sounds like ya need it 🙂

 

[Ronley]

It's not generally something I talk about unless it comes up in conversation on it's own, so I've only ended up telling a couple people who didn't know already (i.e. I didn't meet them here). They were a bit confused, asked a few questions trying to understand, but there wasn't really a negative reaction. I wouldn't expect one from my friends either.

To me it's very personal, so unless it becomes relevant in a conversation I'm not likely to bring it up; but at the same time I wouldn't expect my friends to recoil from me just because of one little quirk. Any friend who would clearly isn't one I should be trusting anyway.

 

[reflexology414]

...

Haha it's funny this should come up at the time it did. I finally told my future ex husband today about it (i know him and i was looking for a reason to piss him off) and I would like to detail the conversation:

Me: There are really alot of things about me you don't even know about.
Him: I know you better than you know you. You're too damn weird. About the only thing you've ever done in a normal way is have sex.
Me: My point exactly (by this time i'm all hackled up). It was normal because i was disinterested. Did you even know i have a tickling fetish?
Him: A what?
Me: Tickling fetish.. i get off to being tickled.
Him: Well that's freakin' great, on top of everything else you're a pervert too. Next you'll be telling me you're hanging yourself from the ceiling by your tits while having sex with farm animals.


So in short, he completely rejected the whole idea. He was actually pretty angry about it. Not like he'll ever have to deal with it anyways. I guess that's what i get for marrying someone who resembled a carcass in bed.

I can see why this guy is going to be your ex-husband. Best of luck to you.

 

[badreligion]

Haha it's funny this should come up at the time it did. I finally told my future ex husband today about it (i know him and i was looking for a reason to piss him off) and I would like to detail the conversation:

Me: There are really alot of things about me you don't even know about.
Him: I know you better than you know you. You're too damn weird. About the only thing you've ever done in a normal way is have sex.
Me: My point exactly (by this time i'm all hackled up). It was normal because i was disinterested. Did you even know i have a tickling fetish?
Him: A what?
Me: Tickling fetish.. i get off to being tickled.
Him: Well that's freakin' great, on top of everything else you're a pervert too. Next you'll be telling me you're hanging yourself from the ceiling by your tits while having sex with farm animals.


So in short, he completely rejected the whole idea. He was actually pretty angry about it. Not like he'll ever have to deal with it anyways. I guess that's what i get for marrying someone who resembled a carcass in bed.

what an asshole ... want me to hunt him down and hang him by his fingernails ? lol

 

[Artoo]

Next you'll be telling me you're hanging yourself from the ceiling by your tits while having sex with farm animals.

Am I completely perverted for thinking that is the hottest thing ever?

 

[badreligion]

yes.

 

[Saeria]

what an asshole ... want me to hunt him down and hang him by his fingernails ? lol

Nah, he's in a texas prison right now so he was prolly just upset that the commissary wouldn't let him buy that extra jar of Vaseline and he had to take it dry that morning... i'm SUCH a bitch 😀

Am I completely perverted for thinking that is the hottest thing ever?

Will you marry me?

 

[sadomino]

There are women who are simply open to anything you introduce them. With proper assertion, right words and motivation, they want to be introduced to other kinks simply for the fun of it.

 

[WorkInProgress]

As a preface, I empathize with Saeria, for the reaction she got from her then-husband, much more than with Dskodj who found it selfish of his girlfriend to ask what it would do for her. To be willing to be seriously tickled is truly a lot to ask of someone who doesn't have the fetish, and there's nothing selfish about her wanting the things you do together to be satisfying to her as much as for you. Realistically, a lot of people really do consider tickling to be horrible torture. But Saeria, again, I can relate to your story, because that dialogue you quoted sounds as if you and he were on two different wavelengths much the same as my ex-wife and I were, and that dialogue snipped shows that, at the time, you still thought you could reason with him and share things with him and get some genuine interaction and understanding from him.

Now, as for me: I've had friends think my fetish was "so cool" and "adorable," but I also had the experience of being on a personals date with a woman, having very much the compatibility that would make for a good casual platonic friendship (we didn't have romantic chemistry), and then I told her about my fetish life, a really dumb thing for me to do under those particular circumstances. She excused herself five minutes later, then went home and yanked both her personal ad and her blog from being publicly accessible, as if to show that she had just discovered that sickos were able to find her on the web and she had just spent three hours with Baltimore's scariest sicko.

I should add that the friends who are most receptive to knowing of my kinky life are in either theatre or academia, specifically the humanities and social sciences, realms that attract cultural rebel personalities who avoid conformist mentalities and have a particular fascination, or at least sense of humor, for the risque and the kinky.

 

[dskodj]

As a preface, I empathize with Saeria, for the reaction she got from her then-husband, much more than with Dskodj who found it selfish of his girlfriend to ask what it would do for her. To be willing to be seriously tickled is truly a lot to ask of someone who doesn't have the fetish, and there's nothing selfish about her wanting the things you do together to be satisfying to her as much as for you. Realistically, a lot of people really do consider tickling to be horrible torture.

Well, I feel the need to be more indepth now after reading that reply, just to set some things straight about my inital post..cause I dont think you understood and maybe saw it wrong 🙂

It wouldnt have been torture for her cause she was only moderate ticklish, also, if she woulda not been the close minded/selfish sexualy person she was/prob still is, it would have been satisfying to her as much as me cause

1. the sex woulda been a hell of alot stronger (and she knew that)

2. she'd know that she was pleasing the other party as well as herself (I believe in BOTH parties being 100% satisfied and feeling good about doing whatever it takes to please one and nother, thats just the way ive always been..im not into this one way street shit).

The thing I didnt mention cause this wasnt a slam your ex thread and has nothing to do with tickling is, that in the act of sex itself, lets just say without getting into too much deep detail that it was more me servicing her and I may as well have been having sex with a corpse.

It didnt matter if I got off, it was ALL about her (and I did things for her that I really didnt find to be a turn on or that would "do things for me" that she liked, just to please her, cause im not selfish sexualy).

And, any other relationships ive been with (even my horrable ex wife), even if they wernt into the tickling thing, they did it cause they cared enough to know that it was my "thing" and only real top turn on so to speak and were open enough to learn or experience something out of the norm to get to be closer to their partner, as i've done for others.

The thing was, that gal just wasnt for me..not my type in every which way. And before someone asks "then why did you stay with her for that long?", the answer is, cause when im in a comitted serious relationship, im dedicated to trying my damndist to make em work and not throwing in the towel when things get rough.

But after almost 3 yrs of doing just that, the harsh reality set in that, this whole deal is just wrong, I dont wanna be with this type person and to stop wasting my time and effort and move on...which I more than did

 

[Iishieboo]

I Freaked Out a Freak!

I do have one funny story... I was approched by a guy in school last semester... He was dressed in black leather pants, a black shirt, boots, had long dark hair and lots of thick eye makeup that ran down his cheeks.

My friend had leaned over the table we were sitting at and said, "My friend likes your makeup!" She likes to put me on the spot.
He looked at me, flicked his tongue out and said, "Do you like it? Or do you think it's sexy?"
Well... I'm a smart ass so I said, "Oh... it is so hot!"
So he got out of his seat, walked around the table and wrapped his arm around me and proceded to tell me all the kinky things he's done with women, none of which involved tickling. Unfased, I told him that I liked something really kinky, really different than the whips and chains that he'd mentioned.
He boasted that he was into everything and would have experience in whatever it was that I liked.
"Tickling," I said.
"Tickling? Tickling like... haha?" And he poked me in the sides and made me jump.
I smiled brightly and said, "Yeah. Tickling."
He nodded, staring blankly. "Weird..." he mumbled and walked away.

He still flicks his tongue out at me if he sees me. But he hasn't made me sit through any more "I'm so kinky" speeches. 😛

Other than that...
My family knows and my mom happily tells her co-workers (one of which has heard about the fetish and even NEST). I tell my friends, too and everyone's been very understanding. The whole thing has actually given me better, stronger relationships with my friends and family especially because there's nothing that I hide from them now.

 

[DimpleToes]

I actually have not told anyone.. only my hubby knows... my personal life is just that personal and because of my vocation.. I like to keep it that way.

 

[dalekfire]

Saaaame here, lady Dimple. =) I've told my girlfriend, and it took a joint effort to tell a "vanilla" friend of ours, but other than that...nope, for our eyes only. *nods*