I've quit and rejoined groups many times as the years roll by. Fetlife for me has been the best course for meeting people into my kinks. The main problem I find with it is the same problem on every board. People just talk a great story but don't seem to live up to it and most are guys pretending to be women.
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Want a partner but have no idea what to do
- Thread starter LostandNew
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I've quit and rejoined groups many times as the years roll by. Fetlife for me has been the best course for meeting people into my kinks. The main problem I find with it is the same problem on every board. People just talk a great story but don't seem to live up to it and most are guys pretending to be women.
I'm sure there are areas that have people that are more or less sexually open, but I've lived in some of those areas, and never had a problem finding play partners.
I don't buy the "It's impossible to find someone in my state/country". Harder? Sure. Impossible? No. It's just a matter of how you look.
duderino84
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Not a fan of absolutes, but you're right, it's not impossible, just slightly more improbable (Douglas Adams anyone?). That is, depended on where you're located you may have more or less chances to swing.
There's a lot of factors I think people look at. Who's got their shit together, how they look, chemistry, hobbies, goals. ....you know, variables. The kind of stuff that makes people work harder. Don't look good? Go to the gym, the fat will be one less factor in appearance.
Of course here it's the "________'s passable but he/she's into tickling" stuff as well. There are a lot of factors people have to navigate to get where they're wanting to go and if they don't move often, that's another compacted factor.
paracarl44
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Hello Lost and New.
If you read he various sections of this forum you will gain plenty of ideas to engage in tickling.
If you read he various sections of this forum you will gain plenty of ideas to engage in tickling.LostandNew
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Traveling, especially to a different country that far away, is unfortunately very far from being an option for me. Finances, college, lots of factors to keep that from being possible. At least for quite a few years
LostandNew
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I think what I'm most scared about is someone I know finding me on there and spreading it around that I'm into this stuff. I know more than one person who are likely to have an account, and if they saw mine it would be catastrophic
mariowuitomari
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Tjat is the Risk bro. You have to expose yourself. If you dont is almost imposible knowing New fetish people
Sandisk444
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I'm not sure why that is scary to you. They're clearly there for their own kinks, why would theirs be any less embarrassing than your own?
Park CollegeO
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This. Everyone's got something, the circumstances of someone finding out aren't nearly as big as you're making them out to be in your head.
duderino84
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The other thing about fetlife is unless you're in major cities, you can only really approximate your location to someone. For instance, my town isn't listed, so 3/4 of the time, nobody really will have a clue who I am. Take a picture! Do some creative editing.
Hi LostandNew,
First off, welcome. To be aware of this fetish (which is a rare fetish, trust me) at such a young age and to seek advice about it is admirable. Keep in mind I'm a couple of decades older than you, so I speak from more experiences, and I'm also coming from the "if I knew then what I know now" viewpoint.
My advice, which runs counter to a lot of what other people are saying here, I know, is to keep it under wraps until you get very intimate with someone FIRST. You are about to embark on an incredible journey, college, where you'll be surrounded by your peers who are all trying to figure out how to socialize with people, just like you. Go to study groups. Volunteer for things. Be a good friend to people. Treat others like you'd like to be treated. Be kind. Actively decide to attend things that you don't have to go to. You'll be surprised how friendships and relationships naturally develop, and with that (it's a side benefit, ha ha), is amazing tickling opportunities. They will transpire, trust me. But don't try to find the the tickling FIRST. If you do this, you might actually find yourself repelling people who might otherwise be good people who should be in your life. You don't want to be known as "the tickling guy" or "the foot guy" just as other people don't want to (probably) be known as "the butt guy" or "the breast guy." Unless you want sex and this kink to be part of your public persona (which works for many people and is totally fine, don't get me wrong), my advice is to keep it private, and live your life first. Once it's out there (that everyone knows your fetish), there's no way to put it back. You can't put the toothpaste back in the tube.
There's another benefit to keeping this under wraps: the "accidental tickles" opportunities (which is a particular side-love of mine). A beautiful, gorgeous foot happens to be within arms reach of you when you're helping to paint a float for a parade or something with a group of friends? Reach over and scramble your fingertips under that arch. If you're known as "the tickling guy" someone might take that the wrong way (akin to grabbing a girl's breast). But if you keep it to yourself, that little tickle, besides the awesomeness of that, might spark something that turns into a beautiful friendship with the girl who's attached to the rest of that foot.
***I'll give you a quick story from my college years many years ago: We were having sort of a "floor party" in our dorm and everyone's drinking beer and just walking around on a Friday night, getting to know each other, popping in and out of other people's rooms. My new roommate and I go into one room and see a girl we know kind of casually, and we're talking with her while she's sitting on her bed Indian style and drinking our beers. Across from her on the other bed facing the wall is a girl with her face in her pillow, body directly face down, wrapped up in a big white sheet/blanket. I knew who it was, this super snotty but SUPER hot chick from New York City with a perfect face, legs and body. (Picture like a tall JWoww from Jersey Shore, but a bit more sophisticated and stuck up). Anyway, I look over at the foot of the bed what do I see but her two bare feet exposed, ankles to toes, perfectly next to each other, touching, toes facing down to the floor. Like, to this day I can remember my heart racing and thumping in my chest harder than ever, looking at those gorgeous exposed perfect soles of this super hot chick, peeking out of those sheets, just begging (in my mind, ha!) to be tickled. She wasn't passed out or anything, she was talking to us through her pillow, making snarky remarks here and there about what we were saying. I wasn't exactly cool or good looking or anything, and I don't know how or why I managed to build up the nerve to do what I was about to do (probably the beer, ha!), but at one pregnant pause in the conversation I put down my drink, walked over to the foot of the bed, waited a second or two to appreciate these stunning perfect soles in front of me, and reached out with both hands and scribbled 8 fingers from the heels to the balls of her two feet, cherishing every millisecond. This confident, alpha-female (and again, super hot female) reacted like she had been electrocuted and let out a huge long laugh and pulled her feet away. It was, to that moment I believe, the greatest tickling experience of my entire life. I just tickled two beautiful soft soles of two perfect, slightly tanned feet attached to a 10-out-of-10 chick (and someone who I'd never get a date with, ha!) for about 2 full seconds but they were the physical best two seconds of my entire life up that point, lol. And the best part was she didn't even CARE! She didn't even turn around to see which one of us did it!! She just laughed into her pillow and pulled her feet away and under the covers, BUT THEN, a couple of seconds later, stuck her perfect bare feet back out AGAIN after we continued our conversation. I'm sure others can relate to this but the only thing better than tickling two gorgeous, soft ticklish feet is to do it a second time. So right before we left, I went over again and scribbled my fingertips in her arches again for a good 2 seconds and got an even better reaction. This time after she caught her breath she looked up to see who was doing it, realized it was someone "not in her league" (me) and mumbled "Dick" while still giggling back into her pillow. We just laughed and left. And I, ah, "cherished that episode" privately in my mind many, many times for the rest of that semester
***
Anyway, my point is, do you see how if I was out there as "a tickling guy" that whole episode might have taken a completely different and potentially negative turn? Alternatively, if we were more compatible people we might have become friends from that little "spark" of casual tickling, you know?
Again, this is just one person's opinion and philosophy on this, and others who are more open about this fetish might have a completely different viewpoint and experiences which I totally respect, but I just wanted to give you an alternate angle: Keep it to yourself, save it for someone you get very intimate with FIRST (that's a whole other discussion, by the way), and just actively and positively live your life.
Good luck out there, bud!
First off, welcome. To be aware of this fetish (which is a rare fetish, trust me) at such a young age and to seek advice about it is admirable. Keep in mind I'm a couple of decades older than you, so I speak from more experiences, and I'm also coming from the "if I knew then what I know now" viewpoint.
My advice, which runs counter to a lot of what other people are saying here, I know, is to keep it under wraps until you get very intimate with someone FIRST. You are about to embark on an incredible journey, college, where you'll be surrounded by your peers who are all trying to figure out how to socialize with people, just like you. Go to study groups. Volunteer for things. Be a good friend to people. Treat others like you'd like to be treated. Be kind. Actively decide to attend things that you don't have to go to. You'll be surprised how friendships and relationships naturally develop, and with that (it's a side benefit, ha ha), is amazing tickling opportunities. They will transpire, trust me. But don't try to find the the tickling FIRST. If you do this, you might actually find yourself repelling people who might otherwise be good people who should be in your life. You don't want to be known as "the tickling guy" or "the foot guy" just as other people don't want to (probably) be known as "the butt guy" or "the breast guy." Unless you want sex and this kink to be part of your public persona (which works for many people and is totally fine, don't get me wrong), my advice is to keep it private, and live your life first. Once it's out there (that everyone knows your fetish), there's no way to put it back. You can't put the toothpaste back in the tube.
There's another benefit to keeping this under wraps: the "accidental tickles" opportunities (which is a particular side-love of mine). A beautiful, gorgeous foot happens to be within arms reach of you when you're helping to paint a float for a parade or something with a group of friends? Reach over and scramble your fingertips under that arch. If you're known as "the tickling guy" someone might take that the wrong way (akin to grabbing a girl's breast). But if you keep it to yourself, that little tickle, besides the awesomeness of that, might spark something that turns into a beautiful friendship with the girl who's attached to the rest of that foot.
***I'll give you a quick story from my college years many years ago: We were having sort of a "floor party" in our dorm and everyone's drinking beer and just walking around on a Friday night, getting to know each other, popping in and out of other people's rooms. My new roommate and I go into one room and see a girl we know kind of casually, and we're talking with her while she's sitting on her bed Indian style and drinking our beers. Across from her on the other bed facing the wall is a girl with her face in her pillow, body directly face down, wrapped up in a big white sheet/blanket. I knew who it was, this super snotty but SUPER hot chick from New York City with a perfect face, legs and body. (Picture like a tall JWoww from Jersey Shore, but a bit more sophisticated and stuck up). Anyway, I look over at the foot of the bed what do I see but her two bare feet exposed, ankles to toes, perfectly next to each other, touching, toes facing down to the floor. Like, to this day I can remember my heart racing and thumping in my chest harder than ever, looking at those gorgeous exposed perfect soles of this super hot chick, peeking out of those sheets, just begging (in my mind, ha!) to be tickled. She wasn't passed out or anything, she was talking to us through her pillow, making snarky remarks here and there about what we were saying. I wasn't exactly cool or good looking or anything, and I don't know how or why I managed to build up the nerve to do what I was about to do (probably the beer, ha!), but at one pregnant pause in the conversation I put down my drink, walked over to the foot of the bed, waited a second or two to appreciate these stunning perfect soles in front of me, and reached out with both hands and scribbled 8 fingers from the heels to the balls of her two feet, cherishing every millisecond. This confident, alpha-female (and again, super hot female) reacted like she had been electrocuted and let out a huge long laugh and pulled her feet away. It was, to that moment I believe, the greatest tickling experience of my entire life. I just tickled two beautiful soft soles of two perfect, slightly tanned feet attached to a 10-out-of-10 chick (and someone who I'd never get a date with, ha!) for about 2 full seconds but they were the physical best two seconds of my entire life up that point, lol. And the best part was she didn't even CARE! She didn't even turn around to see which one of us did it!! She just laughed into her pillow and pulled her feet away and under the covers, BUT THEN, a couple of seconds later, stuck her perfect bare feet back out AGAIN after we continued our conversation. I'm sure others can relate to this but the only thing better than tickling two gorgeous, soft ticklish feet is to do it a second time. So right before we left, I went over again and scribbled my fingertips in her arches again for a good 2 seconds and got an even better reaction. This time after she caught her breath she looked up to see who was doing it, realized it was someone "not in her league" (me) and mumbled "Dick" while still giggling back into her pillow. We just laughed and left. And I, ah, "cherished that episode" privately in my mind many, many times for the rest of that semester
***Anyway, my point is, do you see how if I was out there as "a tickling guy" that whole episode might have taken a completely different and potentially negative turn? Alternatively, if we were more compatible people we might have become friends from that little "spark" of casual tickling, you know?
Again, this is just one person's opinion and philosophy on this, and others who are more open about this fetish might have a completely different viewpoint and experiences which I totally respect, but I just wanted to give you an alternate angle: Keep it to yourself, save it for someone you get very intimate with FIRST (that's a whole other discussion, by the way), and just actively and positively live your life.
Good luck out there, bud!
TicklesXXX
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You only need to find a girlfriend, the normal way, falling in love, flirting...
You will get intimate with her, and you will tell her what you like, and you mention tickling -don't call it a "fetish", only a "taste"-. If she loves you, she will do it with you because she will be pleased seeing you getting such satisfaction.
Do not try to find someone with "tickling fetish". I don't think it is a fetish, and I think that most people would love it if they tried, but they ignore it.
You will get intimate with her, and you will tell her what you like, and you mention tickling -don't call it a "fetish", only a "taste"-. If she loves you, she will do it with you because she will be pleased seeing you getting such satisfaction.
Do not try to find someone with "tickling fetish". I don't think it is a fetish, and I think that most people would love it if they tried, but they ignore it.
LostandNew
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I'm hoping so. I've looked through people from my town a bit (a LOT more are on there than I thought,) but luckily no one I knew or had even seen around. I'm sure you're right, I just have the tendency to overthink things like this
LostandNew
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There's a lot of really good information here and I really appreciate you taking the time to type it out. It seems like good advice (at least for now) and a few people seem to agree. Especially now that I'm fresh into college there are a LOT of people to meet and interact with, especially those with the same major, so I'll focus on that for now
duderino84
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Ok, here's one that occurred to me.
So, you forget about tickling, you meet her, take her out, make her feel special, AND THEN tickle!
Pros: I don't think many girls like saying "I had to dump him, he tickled me!"
Cons: well, just because they don't like saying it doesn't mean they can't say no to a second date.
Plus, you'll realize what you like/don't like in people, and eventually you'll get confident (or depressed) with all this tickle practice.
So, you forget about tickling, you meet her, take her out, make her feel special, AND THEN tickle!
Pros: I don't think many girls like saying "I had to dump him, he tickled me!"
Cons: well, just because they don't like saying it doesn't mean they can't say no to a second date.
Plus, you'll realize what you like/don't like in people, and eventually you'll get confident (or depressed) with all this tickle practice.
I know what you mean. I've had the same problem for years. I'm one of the older members here and have had to deal with this before there was an internet...I thought I must be some kind of anomaly, there couldn't be anyone else like me. Now I know there are but, how do you find them where you live???
Sorry I can't help, only commiserate.
Sorry I can't help, only commiserate.
DontAskJusTckle
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Here's my take.
There are essentially two avenues available for your to pursue this. There's the "fetish community," where people seek out like minded others and hope for the best as for as looks and attitude go. If you choose this avenue I recommend the first thing you do is lose the name. It is the first thing a woman here will see about you, and first impressions are important. With your current name, you'll most likely attract a 45-year old spinster with a house full of cats. Find a name that makes you like interesting, but not overconfident. Avoid words like "dark," "master," or "evil."
The next thing to do is develop a sense of humor. This is going to take some trial and error. You don't have to be Rodney Dangerfield, just train yourself to see the funny side of any particular situation. You'll get the most bang from your buck if you can achieve a balance between streetwise cynicism and compassion for those less fortunate. If you have any hobbies that are artsy or musical, you need to at some point work that into a conversation with a prospective woman. They love that shit. Also, you'll want to get a sense of what she's into, what her needs are, and how you might best fulfill them.
Most important of all, you need to purge any sense of urgency or desperation. Women can smell that a mile away and they will run in the other direction. Remember, at all times you are mildly interested, no more. Spend some time in a quiet place and meditate on yourself and the guy you want to be. How would that guy act or respond to certain situations?
The other avenue of which I spoke is to find a woman in your day to day world, and introduce her to the world of tickling. Understand that you can't expect such a woman to submit to a rack and high voltage tickle torture right off the bat. You have to ease her into it. When you touch her, there is a blurred line between what feels good and what tickles. You want to find that point and exploit it regularly. This will create positive associations in her mind with being tickled. Then over time, you can increase the wattage.
In a way, I almost envy you. You're right at the beginning of the adventure. You'll make mistakes. Learn from them, and then move on.
There are essentially two avenues available for your to pursue this. There's the "fetish community," where people seek out like minded others and hope for the best as for as looks and attitude go. If you choose this avenue I recommend the first thing you do is lose the name. It is the first thing a woman here will see about you, and first impressions are important. With your current name, you'll most likely attract a 45-year old spinster with a house full of cats. Find a name that makes you like interesting, but not overconfident. Avoid words like "dark," "master," or "evil."
The next thing to do is develop a sense of humor. This is going to take some trial and error. You don't have to be Rodney Dangerfield, just train yourself to see the funny side of any particular situation. You'll get the most bang from your buck if you can achieve a balance between streetwise cynicism and compassion for those less fortunate. If you have any hobbies that are artsy or musical, you need to at some point work that into a conversation with a prospective woman. They love that shit. Also, you'll want to get a sense of what she's into, what her needs are, and how you might best fulfill them.
Most important of all, you need to purge any sense of urgency or desperation. Women can smell that a mile away and they will run in the other direction. Remember, at all times you are mildly interested, no more. Spend some time in a quiet place and meditate on yourself and the guy you want to be. How would that guy act or respond to certain situations?
The other avenue of which I spoke is to find a woman in your day to day world, and introduce her to the world of tickling. Understand that you can't expect such a woman to submit to a rack and high voltage tickle torture right off the bat. You have to ease her into it. When you touch her, there is a blurred line between what feels good and what tickles. You want to find that point and exploit it regularly. This will create positive associations in her mind with being tickled. Then over time, you can increase the wattage.
In a way, I almost envy you. You're right at the beginning of the adventure. You'll make mistakes. Learn from them, and then move on.
