Was She a Gold Digger?

[tickle gamer]

Ok, this happened a few yeas ago, but I will try to remember what I can.

My friend joined the army and we heard a few months later from his uncle that he had got mono.

We heard a few months later that the mono had turned into bone cancer, and he died about a year later.

I went to his funeral and met his wife that he had married in the hospital about a week before he died.

When I went to talk to her, I thought it was strange that she didn't look like she'd been crying and she was wearing red [not black], I didn't think too much about it at the time [just noted those things]

A few months later, I had nearly forgotten about her when I was talking to his uncle he said that she was getting some multi thousand dollars a months just from his army pension.

Which got me thinking again “Is she a gold digger?”

What do you all think?

 

[Myriads]

You lack information to make any sort of call.

Perhaps she was a friend. He knew he was dying, and by marrying her, he gave her the gift of a secure pension.

That is as valid a guess as her being a golddigger.

No way to know.

Myriads

 

[tickle gamer]

No way to know.

I know it's bad to think such things [my friend would kill me if he was alive and knew], but it just struck me as a little odd the red dress and looking like she HADN'T been crying.

 

[GEORGIATKLER]

How did he get vested in such a pension in only a few years or did I miss the timeline? Unless you know how long they had known each other, I guess her motives are in doubt. Does his uncle think she was sincere?

 

[tickle gamer]

How did he get vested in such a pension in only a few years or did I miss the timeline? Unless you know how long they had known each other, I guess her motives are in doubt. Does his uncle think she was sincere?

When he died they bump up his rank to [I forget what] way up there.

His uncle never has said anything about what he thinks about her, or at lest not to me.

He couldn't have knewn her for to long, his uncle would call me time to time and tell me what he had heard from my friends mom and dad, and her name didn't come up till about a month before he died.

 

[GQguy]

There's no way to tell.

They bump his rank up after dying from bone cancer? Sounds false to me. There is a pension plan but it is so low very few widows qualify for it. She might make more from welfare. But! There is a death gratuity from our life insurance that could be up to $400K depending on what the member chooses to pay for. And usually the wife/widow is the default beneficiary.

Military guys tend to marry on a whim. Girls dig the uniform but more importantly our steady ability to take care of them. Do some look long term? I'm sure some do. Could some more calculating women see your buddy on his death bed as a big payday? I'm sure it's possible. The lack of tears says little...he died from cancer....a drawn out sickness. It wasn't sudden. The red dress might have been his request. Or she simply didn't have/couldn't afford another black dress....remember...your buddy had VERY little rank. Which means very little pay. A gold digger would do best to chase after a guy who has been in much longer.

GQ

 

[tickle gamer]

There's no way to tell.

They bump his rank up after dying from bone cancer? Sounds false to me. There is a pension plan but it is so low very few widows qualify for it. She might make more from welfare. But! There is a death gratuity from our life insurance that could be up to $400K depending on what the member chooses to pay for. And usually the wife/widow is the default beneficiary.

Military guys tend to marry on a whim. Girls dig the uniform but more importantly our steady ability to take care of them. Do some look long term? I'm sure some do. Could some more calculating women see your buddy on his death bed as a big payday? I'm sure it's possible. The lack of tears says little...he died from cancer....a drawn out sickness. It wasn't sudden. The red dress might have been his request. Or she simply didn't have/couldn't afford another black dress....remember...your buddy had VERY little rank. Which means very little pay. A gold digger would do best to chase after a guy who has been in much longer.

GQ

I don't know the detils, but they said they bumped him up becouse he was a good man, followed orders to the letter and made some good "free hand" calls.

I can tell you he was one of the toughist people I knew, and he even taught me a little about fighting [if I ever need it].

You used the word "our", does that mean you are a military guy too?

 

[Jagermeistered]

I wouldn't call her a gold-digger, she was looking for a ticket in the US. Also, a immigrant with no strings attached. I debate with my Japanese/Korean grandmother; she had no problem exposing many of her intentions.

 

[GQguy]

I don't know the detils, but they said they bumped him up becouse he was a good man, followed orders to the letter and made some good "free hand" calls.

I can tell you he was one of the toughist people I knew, and he even taught me a little about fighting [if I ever need it].

You used the word "our", does that mean you are a military guy too?

We don't "bump" people up in rank for "being a good man" "following orders" and "making good free hand calls". Sounds like something out of a movie with no basis in reality. Some of our KIA's may get a posthumous promotion but only because they were going to be promoted anyway if they hadn't died. The promotion process takes forever depending on the rank. When I made staff sergeant I had to wait a full year before I could put on the stripe. If I had died in that year...my tombstone would have likely said SSGT GQ! From the outside it would look like I got bumped up. Your buddy who was a new guy likely got promoted while he was in the hospital bed. The lower ranks are automatic. Don't fuck up, do your time in that rank and here's your stripe. Congrats. But! My rank would have nothing to do with how much my widow was paid. SGLI..."Service Members Grouo Life Insurance" can insure my life up to $400,000 tax free! That's the payday any widow would get...regardless if she were married to an E-1(the lowest rank) or an O-10(the highest rank). She could get a pension but she'd have to make less than $10,000(I think it's less) a year to qualify.

Thanks for posting this thread. Death is something I think about but I wasn't aware that our spouses DONOT get pensions if we are KIA except for that tiny $10,000 if she is unemployed or severely underemployed.

That 400K sounds like a pretty good incentive to stay around though...

GQ

 

[tickle gamer]

Hey man, I am just telling you what the army guys at his funeral told me [about the bump up, not the money]

 

[GQguy]

Hey man, I am just telling you what the army guys at his funeral told me [about the bump up, not the money]

They were likely speaking your buddy up at his funeral and dumbing down the military speak for a civilian. Do a google search and I'm certain your results will mirror what my experience and knowledge have said. search "posthumous promotion"....you'll find even our bravest guys killed in the line of duty don't make rank....let alone a guy that died of a non combat related illness.

Side note. Did the widow get the death insurance money?

Other side note. I'm sorry for your loss man. Certainly gone wayyyy too soon. I'm sure he would have had a successful and fulfilling career serving our country.

GQ

 

[tickle gamer]

OK, I was worng. He was married for 2 1/2 year, I found the news paper article about his death.

Here is a link [I was looking for his rank tho] [if she is on here I am sorry for calling you a golddigger]

http://obituaries.citizen-times.com/obituaries/obit.go4.php?id=56657

 

[GQguy]

I was wrong too. Apparently he was a Sgt(E-5) when he passed and in the Army you see a board who determines if you make the rank or not based pretty much on the criteria that you mentioned. In the Air force we test for E-5 so the subjective promotion process was very foreign. http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20090327203954AAolgM6

Anyway..I doubt she was a gold digger if they were married for 2.5 years while he had cancer. I'm sure that life insurance helps her standard of living a bit. Her myspace you can see that the whole family went on vacation that Christmas. Likely the way i'd want my family and my wife(if I were married) to celebrate the holidays.

GQ

 

[tickle gamer]

What does it matter to you?

Well, he was my best friend growing up, and more than once said he thought of me more like a brother than a friend.

It got to the point he was at my house more than his own [not kidding].

 

[tickle gamer]

Anyway..I doubt she was a gold digger if they were married for 2.5 years while he had cancer. I'm sure that life insurance helps her standard of living a bit. Her myspace you can see that the whole family went on vacation that Christmas. Likely the way i'd want my family and my wife(if I were married) to celebrate the holidays.

GQ

Yeah, I doubt it too now that I read that.

It's just he was my best friend and I guess I was thinking to much about it.

 

[WorkInProgress]

A few years ago I attended the funeral of a millionaire who, a couple of years before dying, had married a golddigger. At his funeral, she was sobbing her eyes out. She was at the door greeting people as they came in, and as they came in, she sobbed. She would compose herself and look as if she might be done sobbing, but the moment another person was coming through the door, she was back to sobbing again. For me, that confirmed that she was a golddigger, and a tolerably good actress.

I don't think she inherited much, though, because he had already innoculated himself from golddiggers by putting all his holdings in trust to his two sons and giving himself full access to the money while he was alive while not technically still owning it. So, while she dug gold, I don't think she particularly struck it, at least not for the long run.

 

[tickle gamer]

But what benefit does it have for you? Knowing whether she is one or not. I mean -- why is it a big deal?

Well, let me put it this way.

say your best friend married a golddigger [or so you thought] wouldn't you try to find out?

In any case, it did help talking about it.

 

[Bothersome]

I think given that it's waaaaay after the fact, it doesn't really matter.

However, if I were to run into a scenario like this while my friend was still alive and kicking, then I'd definitely raise the issue. If it through a wedge between us, then our friendship probably wasn't based on too much.

 

[tickle gamer]

Not really. It could cause a rift between me & the friend.

Some things aren't worth prying into. Let people fuck up on their own.

True, but, my friend is already dead so I don't have to worry about in hurting the friendship.

I do know what your saying about some thing arent worth prying into tho.

 

[Bothersome]

Kinda disagree.

When it comes to love or " love ".. some people tend to become a bit srs bzns & end up back burnerin' solid friendships like fuckbags.

Which is why I'm not friends with highschoolers.

But in all seriousness, I require that my friends have a few shreds of maturity. If they don't agree with me, then I'm not going to press the issue. I'd only bring it to their attention. If they're going to get upset to the point where I'm not their friend anymore over that, then they have a few priority issues that need to be straightened out.

 

[tickle gamer]

I think given that it's waaaaay after the fact, it doesn't really matter.

However, if I were to run into a scenario like this while my friend was still alive and kicking, then I'd definitely raise the issue. If it through a wedge between us, then our friendship probably wasn't based on too much.

I'm with you on that, I mean, yes saying someting could cause trouble in the friendship, but on the other hand if you didn't say anything it might cause more trouble down the road.

As for me, I'm not pushing the issue, cause my friend is been dead for years now and it would do no good, I just wanted to know what you all thought, for my own closer.

 

[tickle gamer]

Which is why I'm not friends with highschoolers.

But in all seriousness, I require that my friends have a few shreds of maturity. If they don't agree with me, then I'm not going to press the issue. I'd only bring it to their attention. If they're going to get upset to the point where I'm not their friend anymore over that, then they have a few priority issues that need to be straightened out.

Ya know, that sounds alot like something my friend would've said.

 

[locker669]

But what benefit does it have for you? Knowing whether she is one or not. I mean -- why is it a big deal?

Human nature.