I finally convinced myself to take the leap into a session as I had got old and wanted to be able to experience my fetish before I lost my fitness and ability. I'd spent my 20's trying to kindle friendships and experiences through various sites like the TMF and Fetlife but as the new generation of players came in, people moved on and I aged out.
Initially my concerns were definitely warranted. I had a few bad experiences, men showing up, 2 hour sessions lasting 15 mins, no tickling etc. Its taken me about two years to find somewhere safe and friendly where I can have a session and be happy.
Looking back over my time, really the advice for men and women is going to be different. Women will be looking for sessions through sites like the TMF and at parties where as men will be visiting escorts and mistresses.
For women when you find someone you connect with its very easy to dive in with the excitement. Several skype and face calls are helpful to confirm he is who he says he is. Good things to remember are safe, sane and consensual. Ask around to find out if he knows what he's doing, a good 'ler should be able to put you in touch with previous meets for example. Go at your pace and meet initially in a public setting of your choosing with a safety call (text a friend). He should listen to you and encourage scene negotiation, be comfortable with your wants and know his way around a scene from initial contact to after-care. What kit does he have and does he know how to use it? What experiences does he have with bondage? Safety? A good question to ask him is to talk about a time a session went wrong and how did he handle it, improve on it. Most importantly don't settle for second best, you hold all the aces in this game, find your dream experience. A fantasy is much better than a ruined reality.
With us guys we don't have the luxury of public soft meets and after-care. Its a nitty gritty 2 hours in and out and a 400 hole in our wallet. From experience, be selective, be prepared to travel and do not do this on a budget. Paying for sex can fall a long way down the social ladder and you do not want to go too low. A good escort or mistress should be open to your fetish, take the lead in helping you help her understand what you're after and ideally have previous experience. You can tell the good ones generally as they have really swanky apartments and session spaces in the best parts of town. Remember you are paying for sex, all things considered, its dangerous. Only take the money agreed and one form of ID, leave your wallet, car keys and everything else somewhere like a hotel. Be as laid back as possible so when something negative happens, like she rips you off, you just say thank you, and leave. Generally the room you don't get to see has a large local bouncer earning side money sat in it playing xbox, so be chilled AF. Always take a quick shower when you arrive (find out if she has a shower before hand) and pop a breath mint, even if you've just walked from the hotel. Be confident, know roughly what you want over the time you spend together and ask for it. When its time to leave, thank her and be prompt with your exit. Also top tip, always use the lift, a line of middle aged men every few hours up the stairs is a dead give away.
Have fun everyone! *drops mic*