What Does One Do When His Life Is Over?

[Warheart]

Yesterday I lost my job (even though it sucked) and my girlfriend now treats me like a leper. Frankly I thought of taking a leap off the Triboro Bridge I felt so bad. It seemed like the woman I loved turned against me so suddenly and shockingly that it was like Anakin Skywalker turning on his beloved mentor Obi Wan Kenobi in Revenge of the Sith. Tell you the truth I dont care about the job that much but my fiancee now says that im "unreliable" and is changing into a callus torturer simply because she has a job interview today and I left my job. Fuck it! A job making 10 bucks an hour is my goddamn life??? 😡 Id rather not live at all! And this "love" I have for my mate made a 34 year old man sleep with tears drenching his face because of the mental cruelty she gave me yesterday. I just feel like that Johnny Cash song "Hurt," in fact im listening to it right now. Perhaps my time is over. No other girls want me, they never did. The end is here. Any comments from some people who were happy or thought they were and lost it all? Should I follow the lyrics of the Bad Company song "Shooting Star?" "Bottle of sleeping pills and whiskey?" Jobs and lovers are so hard to get... I dont even want to try anymore.

 

[german]

Sorry to hear that man, I hit a troubled time when my knee got f*cked and I thought I had nothing to live for and I turned to Jesus. Not saying its for you but doing so gave me strength to continue. Now if your girlfriend is giving you crap about this was it truly love to begin with.

Things happen for a reason. I say f*ck it and do something you want to do in life, make yourself happy, you have to make yourself the important person in your life and what I read how you hated your job maybe it was a time for a change. You have to think positive none of that bullshit talk about death and that you got to be strong. Something good will come out of this sooner rather then later but you have to look for it.

Kust

 

[Soulfly]

Pray. Pray. Pray. Pray.

Effort = Prayer = Faith = success.


I know it's working for me. All I can say to you man is just to follow your heart and do what feels right. The rest will fall into place.

 

[TklDuo-Ann]

Hang in there. My experience has been that when things seem that they can't possibly get any worse, something breaks and they start to improve. Either way, giving up is the non-option of the mix. Pain strengthens us and prepares us for the rest of life. It's worth the struggle to get there. Trust me.

Ann...who also considered taking a flying leap at one point

 

[new2sceenbob]

I understand, I've been there

I understand, I've been there. I lost my job right after I was very nearly killed in the World Trade Center. At the time, I had a girlfriend of 12 years, that I was very good to, and who previously swore that she would love me forever. Well, once the money stopped coming in, I found out just how long forever was! It took me 3 years to find work once again. During that horrible 3 year period, there were many times that I felt like giving up, but thank God I didn't! Now I have rebuilt my career, and I'm ready to start rebuilding my social life too. Please hang in there. One day, you will be glad that you did...

Sincerely,
Bob

 

[Mitchell]

Warheart, I am very sorry to hear of your troubles. Sometimes it seems that everything hits at once. This has happened to me, although not with a girlfriend at the same time.
In March, 2004, I was forced to close my beloved marketing business that I had worked on for almost 3 years, because it just wasn't panning out for me financially. Then, that very same month, my father renaged on a promise he made to me, at my lowest point, we had a falling out, where we didn't talk for 2 years, and are just now starting to repair things. It was the lowest time of my life. I felt hopeless, lost, desperate, and like I wanted to pack it all in. I was 34, with no money, job, direction, living in my mom's house, and just basically fucked up. What did I do? I picked myself up, dusted myself off, and moved on to new businesses. Not everything I have done in the last two years has panned out, some things have, others haven't, but I am still fighting, and I never give up. You must do this, too. I know it is hard, but it can be done. Then, last year, as I was trying to rebuild, I got hit with the news that I was overweight, and had very high blood pressure, so I had to change my life with that as well, and I have. I've lost 25 lbs, my BP is down, my dad and I talk now, I am working on another business, and slowly rebuilding. I have not given up, and neither must you.
The one thing that bothers me with your situation, is your girl's insensitivity about your job loss. This is very bad. No one can tell you what to do about marrying her or such, but life has business setbacks, and job losses. What happens if you rebuild, and maybe in five years from now heaven forbid lose another job? Life has it's ups and downs. I think, when you are calm, you really need to sit down, and have a long talk with your girl, explaining to her all the feelings you wrote here. Hopefully, if she is an understanding person, she will see the situation from your perspective, and be supportive to you. If she doesnt see this, then I dont know what to say.
I hope this helps. If you need to talk, pm me anytime. I have definitely been through some bad things in the last couple of years, and I am a good sounding board for someone in need. I feel for ya, bud, and Good Luck. I have confidence that it will all work out somehow in the end. Whatever you do, do not give up! Where there's life, there's hope, remember that!

Mitch

 

[steph]

Your life is far from over hon~everything happens for a reason. Maybe girlfriend isn't the right one for you right now but I'm a huge beleiver in "when one door closes, a window opens." Don't jump please (although I can relate to the feeling), your life is precious. Hang in there and you'll see, ok?

XOXO

 

[venray]

Steph is right....everything happens for a reason....I lost several jobs over the years and always ended up with a better one.....got divorced after 16 years of being married......found the love of my life after that and have a 7 year old that never would have been here.....

Breathe in and say to yourself...."everything happens for a reason".....breathe out....repeat.....

You will be OK...never give up......

 

[isabeau]

Yesterday I lost my job (even though it sucked) and my girlfriend now treats me like a leper. Frankly I thought of taking a leap off the Triboro Bridge I felt so bad. It seemed like the woman I loved turned against me so suddenly and shockingly that it was like Anakin Skywalker turning on his beloved mentor Obi Wan Kenobi in Revenge of the Sith. Tell you the truth I dont care about the job that much but my fiancee now says that im "unreliable" and is changing into a callus torturer simply because she has a job interview today and I left my job. Fuck it! A job making 10 bucks an hour is my goddamn life??? 😡 Id rather not live at all! And this "love" I have for my mate made a 34 year old man sleep with tears drenching his face because of the mental cruelty she gave me yesterday. I just feel like that Johnny Cash song "Hurt," in fact im listening to it right now. Perhaps my time is over. No other girls want me, they never did. The end is here. Any comments from some people who were happy or thought they were and lost it all? Should I follow the lyrics of the Bad Company song "Shooting Star?" "Bottle of sleeping pills and whiskey?" Jobs and lovers are so hard to get... I dont even want to try anymore.

nooooooooooooo don't you dare think that your life is over. and shame on your fiance for kicking you when you are down, instead of being caring and supporting..hang in there, please??? i guarantee this is not the end of the world, although it might seem that way now.. and my pm box is always open, if ever you wish to vent in private..i am a good listener.. take care and please never ever think about taking your own life.

isabeau

 

[steph]

Would you please check in with us? I'm worried about you. I need to know you're ok. Please?

XOXO

 

[isabeau]

Would you please check in with us? I'm worried about you. I need to know you're ok. Please?

XOXO

what steph said. me also

isabeau

 

[Warheart]

what steph said. me also

isabeau

I ended this problem. I treat my fiancee like a queen...mistake #1. People have to have respect for one another 50/50 or its not going to work. I saw this clearly after seeing the way she happlily woke up and made breakfast for her kids after shitting all over me the last night. Something happens when you treat people like slaves...they rebel. Sadness and despair turned to anger. I told her right in front of her children "If you dont believe in me and im unreliable then take your kids get the fuck out of my house. You can find someone wholl give you your every desire on the streets of New York City." Then I walked into the bedroom and dressed. I heard the sounds of hysteria in the next room. My fiancee burst into the room and the "Baby I didnt mean it like thats" came gushing forth while her children whom I love were crying like the children they are. (I took no pleasure in this by the way) I told her theres no need to beg or plead. Its never meaningless to say your sorry however if you voice your low opinion of me again when im practically down on the floor...im going to get up in a while (like I did) and find someone who appreciates me for me. Sucesses and failures notwithstanding. She complied with fear in her eyes with "I love you" rolling off her tongue. I would never hit a woman, if the relationship comes to that then its over before you raise your hand so theres really no point. It seems that strength was all I needed in this situation. Those we worship have flaws and weaknesses too, they have to, theyre human. Always treat them as such. I thank all of you on the TMF for your kindness and well wishes. May the god you worship or if you dont worship any....may you all be blessed with the happiness you all deserve.

 

[isabeau]

ahh sometimes you just have to be tough with those you love. i'm glad that worked out for you. let's hope she keeps her promise never to hit you when you are down again.. keep us informed. we care.

isabeau

 

[tkrexx]

There IS one good thing about being on the bottom, Dude...Once you're there, you have only one direction left to go: Up.

Rxx

 

[maniactickler]

Keep your chin up. theres plenty of jobs out there. and dont ever get yourself down over a woman. plenty of fish in the sea. 😎

 

[steph]

Thank God honey~onto bigger and brighter things for you now, yes?
And thank you for not going thru with it. Like Izzy says, a lot of us really do care.

XOXO

 

[tulipangel]

Hey hun! I know you are a little down (or a lot down) but just smile... If you wake up in the morning and just say to yourself "no matter what happens today I am going to be happy" you will be happy! Force yourself to smile! I know it hurts (i been where you are) but i know that when I force a smile on my face I cant help but feel better! Try it.... cant hurt to try right? 😉 good luck babe and PM me ANYTIME!!!!!!!

 

[Warheart]

A Battle Won But The War Continues

Thank God honey~onto bigger and brighter things for you now, yes?
And thank you for not going thru with it. Like Izzy says, a lot of us really do care.

XOXO

I chose my user name after a Children of Bodom song but it seems to have new meaning to me. My heart is involved in a war with my girlfriend which she seems to have recovered from this morning. My "love" returned from a job interview and boasted about how she was going to get the job she interviewed for. While boasting she slipped in covered jabs (that only a lover can) on how bleak my job situation was. She signed us both up for a Microsoft Class free at the library but it seemed to be camoflauge for her snipes at me. I thought this shit was over...I was wrong. We all went to the bookstore and her son had a toy in his hand and I asked what he was doing, he said "Im asking mommy to buy it for me." I responded, "Why arent you asking me now?" The child replied, "Because mommy has more money." Only women (no offense to the women on this site) seem to capable of this kind of subtle emasculation. I cant pull a friggin job out of my hat...im not in the mafia!!! It takes time as those who searched for a job (without help) well know. Is this my destiny? To be mentally castrated by some cruel woman? Getting angry isnt the solution this time. What the hell is? I really dont look forward to waking up in the morning anymore. I really dont no matter how bad a nightmare I wake from...it can never be worse than the living nightmare my life has become.

 

[Mitchell]

I am very sorry to hear this. At first, I had thought that our support had been of help to you, with your fiance backing down as she did. I can understand her being pleased with getting a job she wants, but to rub it in your face when you are down is wrong. I have a long time friend who does that to me sometimes, acts cocky at a time if Iam down. Usually for me, a slammed phone receiver, angry email, and not talking for a week or two, solves that. In this case, with you living with her, I really dont know what to say. What the child said isnt his fault. Children sometimes have things come out of their mouths that they dont mean, without thinking.
I really think your fiance needs to get a grip. This is troubling to me. I never like to say:" Leave" or such, but you need to make her understand that what she's doing is hurtful and wrong. Maybe you two need counseling.
I hope this helped. Good Luck, bud, take care, and I hope you can work it out with her.

Mitch

 

[OBleedingMe]

This "woman" has shown quite clearly that she only wants you for your money and the things you provide her (shelter/cash). When you lost your job, she saw that there might be an end to the gravy train, panicked, and showed her true colors.

I don't think you fully understand the risks you are taking by allowing such a person to live with you. What you said to her in that kitchen could be considered Verbal Abuse or grounds for intentionally causing Emotional Distress. She could call the police at any time and have you thrown out of your own house and arrested on charges of Domestic Abuse. Compound this with the fact that her children witnessed the argument and you have a count of child abuse against you as well.

Frnakly, if I were you, I would have ejected her from the home as soon as she had shown her colors - and with a police escort. Every day you let a person like her live with you, you are risking everything you have. You may not want to hear all of this, but sometimes you don't want to listen to what you need to hear. From your description of the situation, it sounds like this woman is using you for your money. There is no other logical reasoning for her behavior. Stop thinking with your heart and think with your mind. She's thinking with her's.

Get out of this dangerous situation before it's too late. Don't say you weren't warned.

 

[Warheart]

I dont blame the child Mitchell. Its the person whos manipulating him that I do. Frankly the more I type these keys the more tired I get of this sick competition and the more hate is beginning to set in. Thank you for caring everyone.

 

[Warheart]

Most Ridiculous Thing I Ever Heard!!!

This "woman" has shown quite clearly that she only wants you for your money and the things you provide her (shelter/cash). When you lost your job, she saw that there might be an end to the gravy train, panicked, and showed her true colors.

I don't think you fully understand the risks you are taking by allowing such a person to live with you. What you said to her in that kitchen could be considered Verbal Abuse or grounds for intentionally causing Emotional Distress. She could call the police at any time and have you thrown out of your own house and arrested on charges of Domestic Abuse. Compound this with the fact that her children witnessed the argument and you have a count of child abuse against you as well.

Frnakly, if I were you, I would have ejected her from the home as soon as she had shown her colors - and with a police escort. Every day you let a person like her live with you, you are risking everything you have. You may not want to hear all of this, but sometimes you don't want to listen to what you need to hear. From your description of the situation, it sounds like this woman is using you for your money. There is no other logical reasoning for her behavior. Stop thinking with your heart and think with your mind. She's thinking with her's.

Get out of this dangerous situation before it's too late. Don't say you weren't warned.

Hold on there partner! I argued with her... I NEVER hit her and I NEVER would. The police cant arrest you for a verbal argument. If they could the jails would be OVERFLOWING with men and women who raised their voice to their mate. Intentially causing emotional distress???? What kind of a charge is that??? And the star witnesses are 3 children under 12? I mean the law is unfair yes but even its unfairness has limits! ALL relationships have arguments and yes yelling goes hand in hand with that. I dont buy that "crime" at all. Whats next are we gonna file criminal charges if I leave the cap off the toothpaste?

 

[lk70]

I responded, "Why arent you asking me now?" The child replied, "Because mommy has more money."

You know what? Right now, she DOES have more money, so she SHOULD be buying the freakin' toy (assuming the kid needs another toy, which I doubt). There's really nothing emasculating about having less money than your girlfriend. If she were a decent partner to you, that would be a relief and she'd be helping you. There just seem to be too many damn women (and men) who equate money with personal value. Makes me CRAZY!

deep breath, another beer, sore subject for me.

 

[Warheart]

You know what? Right now, she DOES have more money, so she SHOULD be buying the freakin' toy (assuming the kid needs another toy, which I doubt). There's really nothing emasculating about having less money than your girlfriend. If she were a decent partner to you, that would be a relief and she'd be helping you. There just seem to be too many damn women (and men) who equate money with personal value. Makes me CRAZY!

deep breath, another beer, sore subject for me.

Got another beer? Read OBleedingMe's post and youll want one to not that I buy a fucking word of it.

 

[MrMacphisto]

Watch the movie "Falling Down." It should give you some creative ideas on dealing with life. If that doesn't work, watch "Taxi Driver."