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what happened to The Golden Rule

Ive been getting the same impression and as a new member (less then 3 weeks) its a huge turn off. I actually made a post about the rudeness also..its very sad. People with similar interest cant even get along or be nice...Im sure thats not what this site was made for. Im sorry for you experience and hope it gets better for everyone 🙂

Vidian

Since you're new, it's important that you know that for the most part, everyone is respectful, appreciative and courteous. Once in a while, someone forgets the communal value of our TMF home.

JD
 
I'll use badreligions post above as an example.

He quotes a member who is making a serious point and then posts a one line sarcastic reply to it, and adds the 'but it's only a joke' smile to the end to make it all good.

Is this trolling? Is it an insult to the poster quoted? Is it a thread derail? What is/was his intent? To add to the conversation? To insult? Or to just say what popped off the top of his head with no filter?

Every time we have to moderate we need to ask these questions. It's why things look arbitrary to him. One size does not fit all. We try to take each case as it comes in isolation.

It's not easy. And it's a process that we try to err on the side of allowing too much then too little.

Myriads
 
I'll use badreligions post above as an example.

He quotes a member who is making a serious point and then posts a one line sarcastic reply to it, and adds the 'but it's only a joke' smile to the end to make it all good.

Is this trolling? Is it an insult to the poster quoted? Is it a thread derail? What is/was his intent? To add to the conversation? To insult? Or to just say what popped off the top of his head with no filter?

Every time we have to moderate we need to ask these questions. It's why things look arbitrary to him. One size does not fit all. We try to take each case as it comes in isolation.

It's not easy. And it's a process that we try to err on the side of allowing too much then too little.

Myriads

Not really no and I think its inappropriate for you to single me out . As for my post to Zen I think you took it out of context like you do with all of my posts . The point I was trying to make was that he said he and other producers bust their ass to put products out there only to get "unjust criticism" and that is the nature of the beast . If you expose yourself like they do especially on the Internet you are bound to run across it and all you can do is let it roll off your shoulders and not dwell on it .

For the record , I am not the only one who thinks the moderation on this site is done in that fashion but that is a debate that has no end .
 
Hello folks,

There is a lot to discuss in this thread. And I hope to sum up a lot of it in the post below.

First things first. If you are in this thread pushing some agenda about a topic that is not in Tommy's opening post, take it on the road ...Hopefully we'll be able to continue to do so.

Myriads

Great post Myriads.

Appreciated.

JD
 
...The point I was trying to make was that he said he and other producers bust their ass to put products out there only to get "unjust criticism" and that is the nature of the beast. If you expose yourself like they do especially on the Internet you are bound to run across it and all you can do is let it roll off your shoulders and not dwell on it .

While it is true that we producers are bound to run into periodic criticism, and that endless fields of daffodils, lollipops and rainbows aren't in the cards, keeping down the level of bile and vitriol has got to be our common cause.

This is our community and not our ghetto nor our battle ground.

I say all this, not to speak in opposition to you, but to add my perspective.

JD
 
Honestly, I'd say in the spirit of the OP, he was completely justified in singling you out.



Wasn't the OP just saying that if you have something bad to say, actually specify why or say nothing at all? Just hopping in there, bolding a sentence that makes perfect sense to a lot of people on the forum and saying "I disagree" and then leaving it at that really comes off as a complete troll. If you would have gone a step farther with the WHY, as I am doing now, to help us understand your thinking in any way at all then you at least would have furthered the conversation in some constructive way and possibly even lead to a change in mentality of some of the members/moderators here. Instead, you drop inane/sarcastic posts across this page (making yourself the picture perfect example of everything folks are talking about) and then complain when folks use you as an example.

Well a couple things ...

1 . Why is he justifed in singling me out ?

2 . If you read my response a couple pages ago you would understand the conversation so here I will help you out

Me -"The whole "Golden rule" is a load of crap . It would be much more effective if it wasn't enforced in an arbitrary manner . "

Myriads -
"And for those who think it's arbitrary? Well here is a news flash. I and my staff are not robotic machines that follow some set of rules I wrote to the letter without any thought. Almost every moderation action here is unique and requires interpretation of our rules and policies. So you will see variance and such in our actions. Because we do not think one size fits all. We try and see you each as individuals not just a member name to deal with and move on to the next thing. "

Me -" I 100% disagree with you "

Are you all caught up now ? . You really should read the entire thread before passing judgement and putting your foot in your mouth like you did .
 
While it is true that we producers are bound to run into periodic criticism, and that endless fields of daffodils, lollipops and rainbows aren't in the cards, keeping down the level of bile and vitriol has got to be our common cause.

This is our community and not our ghetto nor our battle ground.

I say all this, not to speak in opposition to you, but to add my perspective.

JD

I agree but as I stated it is the nature of the beast , if you expose yourself on the internet it is bound to happen . I admit in the past I am guilty of doing it whether it be anger because of a bad day , jealous or whatever and I have tried to stop because it isn't fair to you all who just try to do something you like . So I do aplogize to all the producers I may have pissed on for no reason .
 
Tommy,

Way to throw gas on a fire. This thread shot up really fast o_o.

But anyway.

Yeah, trolls, and what everyone else already said. But what I don't get is why you're just now letting it get to you, all of the sudden? Yeah, people are disrespectful EVERYWHERE, holy shit I know. Been told way, way too many times that I should just go shoot myself, not worth living, etc.

But you know you're doing a great thing for the community, so I really don't understand why you're upset.

Well, ok, I do understand why you're upset, but I'm trying to make a point that you shouldn't be. Those people can go to hell, right?

-Etc.

Bad: Quit. Myriads singled you out because it was within the thread and served as a good example. If you didn't want to be singled out, you probably shouldn't have posted a response that could be taken out of context in such a way.
 
I rarely post in any of the forums. Usually just to answer some random question i think i might have an answer for or to pay my respects to someone having a hard time.
The pointless slandering that goes on around here really does need to stop.
It causes nothing but pain for all of us. But Tommy if I may say something.
Why would you let it bother you so? You yourself pointed out how successful you are here and obviously people like you and love your work. With fame will come those jealous nitwits who have nothing better in life than to lash at you to make themselves feel better like any insecure bully would.
My point is. why bother to respond to these people at all? They are nothing to you. It's fantastic that you can answer questions to each and every commenter. But you don't need to defend yourself from idiots. Simply ignore them and report them as you say to us. It is sad for new members to see this action on this once beloved forum.
But clearly this is as much a personal issue for you as it is for how you feel for everyone here. Please don't let the words of a few hapless children drive you away when 99% of us would be so sad to see you and your videos go. you do so much for this community beyond just making these wonderful clips.
Incidently i had not heard you and Tasha had a child so i'd just like to say congratulations and please continue with us for many years to come.
 
Tommy,

Way to throw gas on a fire. This thread shot up really fast o_o.

But anyway.

Yeah, trolls, and what everyone else already said. But what I don't get is why you're just now letting it get to you, all of the sudden? Yeah, people are disrespectful EVERYWHERE, holy shit I know. Been told way, way too many times that I should just go shoot myself, not worth living, etc.

But you know you're doing a great thing for the community, so I really don't understand why you're upset.

Well, ok, I do understand why you're upset, but I'm trying to make a point that you shouldn't be. Those people can go to hell, right?

-Etc.

Bad: Quit. Myriads singled you out because it was within the thread and served as a good example. If you didn't want to be singled out, you probably shouldn't have posted a response that could be taken out of context in such a way.

I disagree with you , my post was in no way insulting . To be honest I could post pledge of allegiance and Myriads would find something wrong with it and take it out of context .
 
He was merely using your posts as examples.

And let's face it; they are prime examples.

No not really , you can not tell the context of a statement just by reading the text , if you automatically jump to the conclusion that its a comment with malicious intent that is your character flaw not mine .
 
I rarely post in any of the forums. Usually just to answer some random question i think i might have an answer for or to pay my respects to someone having a hard time.
The pointless slandering that goes on around here really does need to stop.
It causes nothing but pain for all of us. But Tommy if I may say something.
Why would you let it bother you so? You yourself pointed out how successful you are here and obviously people like you and love your work. With fame will come those jealous nitwits who have nothing better in life than to lash at you to make themselves feel better like any insecure bully would.
My point is. why bother to respond to these people at all? They are nothing to you. It's fantastic that you can answer questions to each and every commenter. But you don't need to defend yourself from idiots. Simply ignore them and report them as you say to us. It is sad for new members to see this action on this once beloved forum.
But clearly this is as much a personal issue for you as it is for how you feel for everyone here. Please don't let the words of a few hapless children drive you away when 99% of us would be so sad to see you and your videos go. you do so much for this community beyond just making these wonderful clips.
Incidently i had not heard you and Tasha had a child so i'd just like to say congratulations and please continue with us for many years to come.

I almost always just ignore it, but I couldn't ignore the insults that Skelyrata was getting.

I am going to stick around, I think the mods do a good job with the overwhelming task of policing the forum, and I think that maybe this post will at least help them in their jobs if all hurtful posts are flagged and if maybe once in a while other members jump into discussions when they go awry.
 
I almost always just ignore it, but I couldn't ignore the insults that Skelyrata was getting.

I am going to stick around, I think the mods do a good job with the overwhelming task of policing the forum, and I think that maybe this post will at least help them in their jobs if all hurtful posts are flagged and if maybe once in a while other members jump into discussions when they go awry.

Well said . I think this might be the end of this discussion .
 
The thing that gets me the most is all the baseless accusations against certain producers for sexually assaulting models and promoting violence against women. I'm certain some of these individuals have the best intentions (no one likes violence against women), but it's not right to throw these accusations at people without a single shred of evidence to back it up.

As I'm sure you all saw, the latest Skelyrata thread actually had members say they believed that Skelyrata was going to rape a model! Really, guys!? Are you KIDDING me!? Others took to him because he advertises his videos as intense, hardcore torture and doesn't take the time put a "This is fake" disclaimer on every one. Guys, do you really need a big neon sign to tell you that the video wasn't REALLY non-consensual!? The rest of us don't. We KNOW it's scripted, just like we KNOW pro wrestling is scripted. The absence of a completely unnecessary disclaimer does not equal evidence of a rape caught on camera, and so hurling accusations at the producer in question does nothing to help alleviate the perceived problem. Instead of accusing Skelyrata of being a serial kidnapper in between taking shots at his weight, why don't you send either the producer himself, the model (if she's on the site), or a mod a PM explaining your concerns and the evidence you have supporting them. Baseless accusations interspersed with holier-than-thou lectures about women's rights, safewords, and laws you just made up will at best make you nothing more than a buzzkill and a party pooper. If there is a problem, such actions do nothing to constructively and progressively address them.

We are going to lose new members, but more importantly, we are going to lose producers. As far as I know, that SouthEast Asia Tickling guy was driven away from this site by a similar experience to the one Skelyrata had (I could be wrong). Great, that's one producer gone. I'm surprised Skelyrata even bothers to create content after what he goes through on this site all the time. And if the OP is any indication, we might lose Tickle Abuse, better known by his alias as "THE CURRENT BEST PRODUCER WE HAVE". Is that what we want!? Guys, seriously, this is a potential HUGE problem that's not that difficult to solve. Just be nice to each other.

And remember that when you see a hardcore tickle TORTURE clip, you don't have to watch it if you don't want to. You have no right to attack others for not liking what you like. Perhaps some of us LIKE those types of videos. Not everybody wants sensual orgasms and ticklees who beg the ler for more. You don't have to like/watch anything you don't want to, but just be respectful of those who do like that stuff. You can voice your opinions, you can offer negative (though constructive) criticism and show that there is a demand for the kind of videos YOU want to see. That's OK. Just follow the Golden Rule and respect those around you. It's very easy.

Remember that those producers who advertise that their product is merciless, over-the-top, violent, and not for the faint of heart are using the power of advertising to attract a certain market. Just like the guys who make Saw. Just because there is no lighthearted sensual orgasms and no disclaimer explicitly stating that the model wasn't cut into little pieces and stuffed into the fridge after the shoot doesn't mean that the producers should be accused of major felonies without evidence when the videos are CLEARLY scripted, nor does it mean that those who enjoyed said video should be subjected to a long winded nonsensical lecture about how they're all rapists in waiting who hate women's rights. Express your opinion like an adult or don't express them at all.
 
Wow. I just came home after a long day, and bumped into this.. rather.. I'll call it.. testy.. thread. I want to try and offer something that will be productive, and that is not meant to pour gasoline on the fire in any way.

First, to address Tommy's original post: I'm very sorry about the type of feedback he has encountered to his work. I'm not a producer by any means, just someone who is one of the earlier members. My experience on this site has been that all one can try to do is to be themselves, to interact with those whom they can have civil conversation with, and to ignore those who they cannot get along with.

Tommy, I have encountered what you did, just as a regular member. There was one person in particular, who I used to be friendly with, and who I have since stopped communicating with, who would pm or pc me, every time I talked to a girl, and say to me "Mitch, don't talk to Miss X. Miss X is a fake female". This would be whether the girl happened to be a model or not. Such annoyed me to no end, because, it served to interject negativity into the conversation I was having, and would cause me to perhaps react in a way toward the person I was conversing with, that I might not normally.

Myriads, I hope you dont mind my divulging this. We've known each other a long time. As you know, I have brought up the very subject Tommy addresses in his initial post. When I first joined TMF eight plus years ago, it was a small, very nice group of people, with very, very few asshole members. Those who I truly disliked on the forum were very few in number. Through the years, I found I began to encounter a few more problems, and my ignore list grew. I brought this to Myriads attention in conversation several years ago, and his answer was simple. As the forum grows, so, inevitably, do the number of people you will disagree with, and who will be asshats. One has two choices in such a matter. Use the ignore button, even if your ignore list gets longer, and dont pay attention to the asshats. Or.. get into conflict with every asshat who insights you, and risk getting banned. Except in cases where someone really attacked me personally, I tried to do the former. I have also modified what I post on here in recent years. I used to be a prolific story poster, get into every argument in the P and R, etc. Now, I rarely write stories, or post in the P and R. As most who know me are aware, I've had very serious personal problems this year, due to my mom's cancer, and with all that going on, I dont want a place that is supposed to be a forum of comraderie, to turn into a battleground all the time.

I hope my post isnt off topic. It does have a point. While I completely understand Tommy's point, and why he is upset, I can offer him only one option if he wants to try and remain a member of this forum. Be true to yourself, provide the best possible product you can, please those who you can, and ignore the rest. There really is no other option if you want to stay on the forum. I have always gone by the rule that I was not going to allow anyone, no matter how upset I was, to make me cross the line to get banned. If someone made a flaming post, I would report it, let the mods decide, and, even if they didnt agree, and let the post stand, move on, and let the matter drop.

I hope you will decide to remain a member of the forum, Tommy. You seem sincere.

Good Luck to you,
Mitch
 
Also I wasn't going to post this, but I just want to comment on the whole Badreligion thing since it's relevant to the larger topic. Normally I agree with Myriads. He says he's heavy handed but I disagree. He's always been fair at handing out punishments (and frankly, if someone consistently breaks the incredibly elementary Golden Rule, they deserve to be banned), but I have to disagree with him on this thread (well, not his first post. That was oozing with distilled awesome). Singling out Badreligion WAS inappropriate, mainly (actually, I'd say almost exclusively) because Bad's posts weren't really that bad. Stating an opinion, even a negative opinion, without a reason or constructive argument isn't that big a deal. Posting personal attacks and baseless accusations is. "Welcome to the Internet" really isn't that rude of a post.
 
Losers and lowlife

When I look at the active members list at the bottom of the forum and I see that among the usual 900 or 2000, there are about 200 names that are almost always online, and you match them with around the clock posting, you realize that those who spend endless hours making stupid comments all across the board have a lot of time in their hands, which makes me believe must of them are losers, lowlife, or 40 year old frustrated virgins living with mom and dad.

The problem is that most of this losers don't have money or bank accounts or debit cards to actually buy clips, so their critics and comments are pretty much useless and it hurts the entire tickling cummunity when a producer pays attention to this lowlife only to realize that nobody is buying, and to make things even worse, those who were loyal buyers feel betrayed.

Normal, mature, working adults don't have that much time to comment on every single thread in the forum and usually go straight to what they want and get out without making too much noise because they have to take care of their family and other chores.
 
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I think the problem here is too many producers have lost the plot, on what this forum was supposed to be about.


... unless it is made by FRENCH TICKLING (who still remember what Tickling fetish and this forum is supposed to be about).


Who the hell do you think you are, dictating to us on what this forum "is supposed to be about"?!?

Your arrogance is only surpassed by your narrow-mindedness.
 
The problem is that most of this losers don't have money or bank accounts or debit cards to actually buy clips, so their critics and comments are pretty much useless and it hurts the entire tickling cummunity when a producer pays attention to this lowlife only to realize that nobody is buying, and to make things even worse, those who were loyal buyers feel betrayed.

I was going to state that in another thread, thanks for bringing it up vikingo......honestly, what producer even GIVES A SHIT about someone whining about a clip....when the whiners don't even buy any clips!

Tommy and every other producer.....from now on, how about only bothering with actual customers, and ignore those who ain't even paying you?!!

(This will be the new direction that the forum needs to go from now on, since it's 2011 and all....)
 
Okay, here's my take on all this.

The qualifier "flame free" in this forum is probably better described as a goal or expectation rather than a promise. If there's anything to learn from the TMF's impressive ten-year run is that moderating can only accomplish so much. If you ask people that remember the unmoderated days of Usenet forums how they dealt with trolls, it all came down to one principle: Ignore them.

What exactly does that mean? It doesn't mean to filter out their posts by some technological means. It doesn't mean to publicly announce that you are ignoring them. It simply means to pretend that post doesn't exist, and therefore you don't respond to it. Period.

That pretty much takes care of your full-blown first layer trolls. But then there are other classes of troublemakers that don't quite fall into the category of "troll" but cause problems nonetheless. Chief among these are what I refer to as the jet set. Though at times they cause problems, the jet set are more or less considered to be respectable members. They have some longevity and a post count to their name. They may have many friends on the forum.

Because of their status, jet setters feel entitled to some greater leeway with the Golden Rule when it comes to dealing with certain posters. Posters they deem rude or support an unreasonable point of view. The jet set will blatantly flame on occasion but only if they feel they have plenty of backing from their fellow jet setters. After all, if Myriads or staff calls them on the issue, they can always offer some empty excuse or apology.

Then you have the axe grinders. They don't go looking for trouble but there's always that one topic that sets them off. Fake tickling. Ball gags. Noncon. Whatever the topic is, it is a hotbutton that turns Dr. Jekyll to Mr. Hyde.

There's no easy remedy to all of this but a couple of rules of thumb can go a long way.

1) Ignore the blatant trolling the way I described above.

2) Report ALL Golden Rule offenses, even those made by people you know and like. Don't assume somebody else has reported it.

3) Don't try to help the moderators by adding your comments. They are the police here. Stand back and let them do their job.

Okay, I'm done. :fallingbanana:
 
Anonymity, is the biggest problem with the entire world wide web, and it manifests here possible more so than vanilla sites, Anyone can basically say anything, that may be very hurtful or disrespectful, and that comment will go completely unpunished.

The shame of it is, the same person that is making those comments (in the name of bold expression) would never ever say those same comments in person, or once the protective veil of anonymity was removed.

I have so little respect for people, who have not added anything to this forum but so called "constructive criticism" This place is full of cowards who do absolutely nothing of value, and insist on spewing negativity!

What is even more appalling, when you actually take a look at these self proclaimed "connoisseur's" total body of posts; most of them haven't written a single experience, told a story, or even posted a picture for others to enjoy. The one and only thing that is readily available from these bottom feeders are their obtuse and distorted views.

You just hit the nail on the head, luv! These are the pretty much the same people who wonder why no one pays heed to their requests and suggestions and dare to act as if producers owe them something.

Having an opinion is like having a martial arts skill: OK, great, you have it. Now, learn how to use it properly, before you hurt yourself or someone else, unintentionally. And if you DO intentionally abuse it, expect repercussions.
 
I'm not saying it's right, but once you put a price tag on something you open the flood gates to bitching. Consumers or would-be consumers (they would buy your stuff if you made exactly what they want) feel no need to hold their tongues cus you want "their" money. They unnecessarily take it personal.

Music, movies, video games, etc are the same exact way. People tear them to pieces cus they are not free.



About TMF going down the tubes, I think it or some version of it will always be around cus the most important thing about TMF is the talking. There will always be people with tickling fetishes who want to talk and read about it.
 
Honestly Papi, you don't even have to put a price tag on it. They bitch about the free stuff. That's why I don't post a preview for every single clip anymore ... especially after my sales INCREASED when I stopped doing it.
 
I'm not saying it's right, but once you put a price tag on something you open the flood gates to bitching. Consumers or would-be consumers (they would buy your stuff if you made exactly what they want) feel no need to hold their tongues cus you want "their" money. They unnecessarily take it personal.

Music, movies, video games, etc are the same exact way. People tear them to pieces cus they are not free.



About TMF going down the tubes, I think it or some version of it will always be around cus the most important thing about TMF is the talking. There will always be people with tickling fetishes who want to talk and read about it.

I don't think TMF will go down, this is our home, is the only place on the web where we are welcome. We just have to be careful who controls the streets around here. It is not only the job of the moderators, it is everybody's job to let the haters and the flamers know that they are not welcomed and that if they want to make a critic they have to make it with respect and as an adult.
 
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