When sexual tickling meets "for-fun" tickling...what to do

[jj82277]

First off....
again thanks to everyone who has replied.

It was the attraction to me that made her neutral to okay with my fetish. She always enjoyed tickling, but never thought of it as a sexual thing. Kind of like the friend that like giving indian burns to his friends. Not sexual just something he likes to do.

as everyone has said your response was very thoughtful, mature, and responsible. that was the kiss of death in this situation. you have a 20 year old girl who was getting attention and made to feel like a WOMAN by an older gy who is thoughtfal, responsible, and mature. more likely than not she would have done just about anything that you asked her to do, just for you to like her....

 

[Skipadeedoodah]

I feel like I'm being kind of redundant, but as someone close to her age (I'm 22) I really doubt that the age difference is as much an issue for her as it is for you. I don't know the ages of any of the people posting, but I get the feeling they're mostly in their 30s or above, only because knowing myself and other girls my age, 35 does NOT seem old to us at all in terms of people we're friends with. I mean when I think of myself being 35, yeah it seems alot older, but that's because my life will be so different then with children and out of college etc etc. But I really don't think any of her actions are influenced by your age. Anyway, I agree that you're being very responsible and mature and all that about the situation, and going by the whole "better safe than sorry" thing, and I think that's great, I just think that you would have found you wouldn't have had much to be sorry about.

 

[paracarl44]

Have you had this date yet?

You say that you have her looking in on this forum. Perhaps if she becomes a member here and starts interacting with other members here, she will come to see a side of tickling that she was unaware of.
Then again you could have her place her feet in your lap and see her reaction to when you become aroused.

 

[1000_knives]

35 does NOT seem old to us at all in terms of people we're friends with

I think thats the point, this was going beyond the realms of friendship.

Tickling is a sexual thing for you rob, in the same way kissing might be sexual for her. It's a kind of an invisible barrier because unlike a kiss not many people associate a tickle with sexual arousal.

I know you've already made amends in this situation an called it off etc etc but can i ask rob are you/where you attracted to this girl sexually in anyway? I only ask because if you were then i assume this would muddy the waters further.. the conflict of attraction mixed with the emotion of guilt.

I know skipadeedoodah (skipadeeday!) has said that the age gap is not so big for girls. As a man of 23 i would say that, on paper, a 15 year gap is unusual. Morally i don't think it is wrong, but i personally do not consider it a norm rather.. exceptional. And i think it is impossible to account for the mental age gap between being 20 and 30+. The gap is much larger than perceived in my view.. but that is another debate..

I think, taking into account the entire scenario you described, that you were entirely correct in "ending" the situation. Tickling is sexual for you an you were aware of her age so could you have not have ended it after the first point of contact? Or did the your well intended politeness just seem to spiral?

I'm interesting in psychology and would be very grateful for a deeper insight into this particular series of events, purely for my own fascination.