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When she says "I hate to be tickled"...

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brotherted

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I usually try to delay this moment... but for most ticklish girls... if it hasn't happened yet, it will at some point.

Let's face it folks, most ticklish people don't enjoy being tickled. Let me be more precise... they may think it's fun and flirty for a couple of seconds, but tickling that lasts more than 15 seconds, the great majority will find annoying after one or two times.

To forestall the inevitable, I've found the quick "poking" style tickling that makes a girl jump usually doesn't produce the complaints. Also, the first good tickling session some night on a date... e.g. watching TV together on the couch, won't produce an objection from her as to how annoying it is.

But after the second or third prolonged tickling session, the kind that causes a couple of minutes of spastic reactions and reflex jumping... that's when she'll tell you she hates it.

As a result, I try to pace myself as best I can.

And I know, there's maybe the 1% of girls who just like to be tickled, prolonged sessions and otherwise. But we have to agree that's the exception.

Any thoughts on this? What do you do when you're dating a ticklish girl... but she doesn't find this manner of victimhood fun?
 
Hope this isn't too long

I found this post very interesting because (and I mean no offense to other members) it injected a rare note of reality into the proceedings. I mean, there seems to be this assumption that tickling is this delightful fun experience when in fact most people don't like it and many people absolutely can't stand it. And the strangest thing is that many ticklers, while clinging to this idea that people love to be tickled, at the same time fantasize about people abducted and locked in dungeons and tickled without mercy while they beg their tormentors to stop. In my experience people don't do a lot of begging if they're enjoying something (unless they're begging for more).

To get back to the point of the original post, I've had girlfriends threaten to break up with me if I didn't stop tickling them, and eventually one of you has to give. Depends on which you like more, the girl or the tickling. And if the relationship goes on long enough (here's another depressing though) it all becomes academic because she'll eventually get used to your tickling and it won't tickle any more. This is something I've never seen to fail.

On the other hand I've known ticklers who were pure sadists and would just tickle girls without mercy for as long as they felt like it and never dated the same girls twice. I knew a guy like this in college and I know for a fact that once his reputation got around a few girls dated him knowing what would happen to them, just to find out what it was like or how they'd hold up under tickle torture. He said he always made them regret it.

(I KNOW he's lurking somewhere and will read this post. Hey there, Big W!)
 
Yea this is a good point. Tickling is simply not pleasurable for 95% of ticklish people. I think there are people who need to get this into context. It's a fetish. If you don't think you could have a relationship without tickling, then you're going to have to search far and wide to find someone who likes it cos they're a rare breed.

If you really think you have to indulge your fetish for your life to be complete you can make an effort to meet girls who'll take it (eg submissive girls into bdsm in general) or you could do like the guy biggeorge knows and be a serial offender lol or you could learn how to be so dominating and manipulative that you can do what you like and keep em under your thumb anyway.

My advice is to start to concentrate on your partner's pleasure before your own and see how you like it. "As every true lover knows, the greatest moment of satisfaction is long after ecstasy has passed, and he beholds before him the flower that has blossomed beneath his touch"
 
Truth be told.

I imagine the kind of spastic, non-erotic tickling described by a few of the threads i just read would turn most girls off. 95% sounds about right. my experience with most women is if they know something turns you on sexually and the reward is great lovemaking after the foreplay then you are in good shape. i would also suggest there is a far greater % than 5 of women who enjoy having their feet tickled, especially if it involves feathers, nylons and bondage. a woman's feet are a serious erogenous zone and that's a fact. i'm not saying all of them love it, but again, i've found plenty who do and just as many converts who find they enjoy it.
also let's face it. far more unrealistic than the belief that most women love tickling is the idea that tickling is really torture, or that anyone is so ticklish they can't bear it. it's simply not true. pretty soon the body gets used to it and as i mentioned, if it isn't spastic poking by some creepy dude who's going to masturbate when he's done it's usually light stroking with fingers or feathers, or even light scratching with fingertips and that can be extremely pleasurable especially with the promise of great sex. people may fantasize about the dungeons and people begging for the tickling to stop but it's a FANTASY.
anyway, i just found the three threads i read before this depressing and missing any of the erotic nature of tickling. and didactic! sweet Heaven, it sounded like absolute, know-it-all advice on how to best enjoy Paris from a guy who's never left Red Bank NJ. i've had an incredibly satisfying and fulfilling sex life with tickling playing a wonderful part, and i am off to LA in two weeks time with some silk scarves and feathers to meet a cute, sexy blonde girlfriend who is as ticklish as they come, and who can't wait to be tickled and made love to all week long.
 
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If a girl says she hates to be tickled I take her at her word and don't tickle her. Hell,with all the sexual harassment laws that are on the books today all a girl has to do is claim you touched or tickled her against her wishes and even if you didn't lay a finger on her you are considered guilty as charged. To me it's just not worth risking the chance of getting into serious trouble by tickling a girl against her will.
 
I can understand what has been said so far and I can see everyone's point(s). I have been with many girls (not meant to sound like I'm bragging) who absolutely HATE it. And they, too, have threatened to break up with me because of it. There have been some others who didn't really like it, but changed because they knew I did. If a girl is really into you, she is willing to adapt (unless they absolutely hates it no matter how into you they are). I've dated some who hate it so much they wouldn't put up with it even if you were a millionaire.

But it is a complete buzz-kill to hear that she "hates to be tickled" or that she's "not ticklish." To me it's just as bad as when a cute girl tells you that she has a bf/husband or a kid.

Some girls are playful with the whole tickling thing and others are serious and you can tell they hate it (they may slap, kick, yell, etc. so much that neighbors might think it's a domestic-abuse issue).

The way I see it, here are the possbilities of girls (as lees anyway):
1) Ticklish and they think it's fun for a little foreplay, but that's it.
2) They actually like it and are up for it and bondage (somewhat rare find).
3) They know you like it so they put up with it for a little while (but it's a "forced reaction" and they can't wait until it's over...the tickling, that is).
4) Absolutely hate it and won't put up with it at all.
5) Not ticklish (anywhere...no matter how much you try...and they look at you like you're nuts because they told you that they weren't ticklish).
6) They jump in the beginning and laugh but they can turn it off when they want and it turns into #5 above.
 
I MUCH rather hear "I'm really ticklish but I hate to be tickled" than "I'm not ticklish at all"
I can and have over come girls who hate to be tickled. There's alvays vays...he said in a german accent.
But if they're not ticklish at all ...well you got nothin
 
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I have to say that, as shallow and bad as this makes me feel, a girl has to let me indulge my tickling fetish or I really can't be with her. If I can't ticke her, it's like her saying that I can't have sex with her. Sure, sex isn't what a relationship is about, but it's still pretty significant and I would feel like a part of me is missing if I was unable to indulge my fetish.
 
But I guess my question for the group is what percentage of girls actually like to be tickled? Isn't it a really small fraction??

What have most people here experienced?

And then if they say they hate it, do you do it anyway, just less often?
 
I think quite a bit like it briefly as flirtacious foreplay, but let's face it, your average ticklephile isn't doing it briefly here and there. I've found a girl is more inclined to find it playful in the beginning but there comes a point where she'll reach her limit. Like a few pokes here and there are alright during the first hookup or so, but after that, if done too often, she finds it annoying and will tell you (and not in a cute, flirty way in which 'no' means 'yes').

I've dated at least 4 girls who can't stand it and get really upset if you do it too often. A few, however, don't really like it but put up with it b/c they like you and are just happy that there is physical contact from you (not meant to sound like a conceited statement).

And if they do hate it with passion, then it does suck for you because even if they laugh when they are tickled, they get really pissed afterward. That's not want you want. You want it to be fun.

But to answer your question, I think some girls like a quick tickle here and there, but most don't like it to go on and on. Some girls are very 'vanilla' and they think anything outside of the missionary position is just "weird" and that you're a sexual deviant. To them, guys should like tits, ass, and vagina. Anything else is nuts to them. Others go with the flow. It depends on the girl.
 
Any girl i have ever dated said the same thing "I hate being tickled." Well, after you smooth talk em and show em how horny ti makes you, and can make them, they always submit to it. I should teach a fricking class on this.
 
A lot of people of both sexes tend to associate "tickling" with pain, humiliation and victimization (and not even the BDSM kind). I think that if you can set their minds at ease, let them know that you won't do anything that doesn't feel good to them (and stick by that!), and agree solidly upon what does and does not go between the two of you, set up a "safe word", etc, this should tend to wear down their reluctance somewhat depending upon who they are and what they are or aren't into. FWIW, I once had a girl (or should I say, she once had me! 😀 ) who was so tickle-averse that she couldn't deal with tickling *me*!
 
Me being a female and having a female friend who claims to hate it, I've tickled her anyway. I think it depends on the reason why they hate it. Her reasoning is that she hates it because her fiance tickles her a lot and she can never get away. She'll try to tickle him back, but he's too fast, and then she's kinda scared that when she does he'll tickle her back. So her situation is a love/hate kinda thing. Even if I tickle after she says she hates it, she'll still giggle and smile and not be mad at me. She's even tickled me numerous times.

My 2 cents.
 
tickling is torture..design to break a person down,people that like to tickle (like me,and you all) are torturer's..theres no sugar coating it.just because a person likes it doesnt mean its not torture,just means that person likes being torture.if the woman doesnt like it..so..find a hooker or married woman who wont be able to tell.
 
I've come to the idea that tickling is a lot like the experience of acute pain.

My professor of ethics once explained this concept: it's a feeling you cannot escape from deliberately and therefore you're in a state of perplexity, almost of not-being yourself. You're too close to your own skin, (I thought of the expression 'to have something or someone under your skin'). This is the concept of the 'il y a' (french for 'presence' or 'it being there') from Lacan (if I'm not mistaken).

He also linked this 'il y a' with the experiences of insomnia, where the insomniac does not feel alive, but is feeling himself as being 'too much' (not to be interpreted as a burden, more as an existential discomforting pressure), his being as a human being bears too hard on his existence -. Also nightmares are such 'choking' experiences that you can't put your finger on and voluntarily interrupt (I however have the rare gift to interrupt an ongoing nightmare sometimes and force myself to wake up).

Maybe tickling is, as a feeling, of the same sort for the ticklee: something that's very close to the skin put a disturbing feeling you want to escape somehow, but can't really prevent (unless you saw it coming, beware girls who provoke hehe) or quit it deliberately (in theory there is choice, but you cannot choose the acute pain you experience neither!).

In a way, some may find the 'pain-like' stress felt while tickling a feeling of 'relief', of not being on control of certain stimuli.

My provocative professor of ethics distinguished such a 'bad, dark' form of 'il y a' from a sort of delight, like experienced in an orgasm. You kinda merge with the other, and 'loose yourself' for a moment. You experience a mental 'release', while your experience totally remains self-focused (in an egotistical way, since you don't focus on the bliss the other partner's feeling).

BDSM may also be linked with that (this is not me but my professor arguing).

Tickling is most likely performed in an (even momentarily) 'bound' situation of seeing 'no way out', though trying to be freed from it.

I really make the distinction between intense tickling to get someone going insain to make it stop, and the instance where coördinated carresses carry a (sexual) connotation of arousal.

Therefore, I assume it too be very dependent on the way tickling is applied, and therefore carries a distinct message. Or it's 'you deserve it, you've been naughty and receive this sort of punishment'. Or it's: 'I like to tickle because it satisfies my fetisj and I hope for you to get aroused (and afterwards maybe more).'

Tickling might lay at the same intimacy level as giving a massage, or a friendly hello/goodbye kiss, and then again the other factor is the area of the body.
Generally tickling an armpit is more likely to be considered taboo (or gross or inappropriate) next to feet. I myself would never think of touching a regular friend I am good friends with anywhere near the vulva for instance, but I'd also be carefull about doing something above her knee, get it? I don't have a chart of the body with 'ok' and 'off limits' areas, but this mental border does exist in our heads, right?

Damn I'm gonna quit for now, I've contemplated longer than was necessary on this subject of tickling as an unwanted experience...
 
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My ler doesn't particularly like being tickled...she hates it, to coin a common phrase throughout this thread...but she knows how horny it makes me, and she also knows that tickling between two trusting adults is, as she puts it, a fairly tame fetish...there's no blood play, or breath play, or feces involved...so she's pretty pleased that I'm into what I'm into, for as she says, it could be a lot worse...😀
 
I have to agree with some of the above statements. I have found that if approached correctly most girls like tickling. Ticklish Hon was raised in a very religious family and had not tried the various methods of love making that I enjoy. I worked on her slowly. I started out by letting her know I had a foot fetish and this lead to kissing and sucking on her toes, which she found ticklish but arousing. I then, over time, tickled her feet softly as I sucked on them. Then I introduced bondage, which she LOVES!!!! At first I would only tickle her lightly and for short periods. However, now, she can tolerate and loves intense tickling. I had her stapped down face first the other night and used a vibrater on her bottom. She was going nuts. Making sounds I had never heard before. The next moring I read this post and asked about her feelings. She confirmed that she loves it. Bittersweet is how she put it, but it makes her horny as hell and she said she has a blast even though it is torturous.

It is a regular part of our loving making sessions now and we both find it very fun and enjoyable.

Wizard and Hon
 
My ex girlfriend was so ticklish when we first went out. She was my manager at Dairy Queen when I worked there and she gave me a ride home once and we spent about 7 hours in the car until about 4:30 in the morning just talking and flirting. I felt soo comfortable with her so I told her my secret that only my parents know, that I have a foot/tickling fetish. She didnt mind and said thats good cuz that is an extra way to please someone. So she took off her shoes and socks and gave me her feet and i tickled them and she went absolutely nuts. She is a gorgeous girl too, short, and the best looking soles I have ever seen, and incredibly ticklish. I believe I posted some pics before. Well, anyway, now she seems used to it and really I just jack off to her while she ties her toes up or when she rubs her foot on my cock or somethin.

So my theory is ppl get used to it if it happens for a while.
 
"Every girl I've been with has LOVED to tickle, and sometimes be tickled... except one, but she was nice for awhile anyway... till she cheated on me... then she just became one of those poster children for singleness."
 
In my experience, you need to bring tickling together with something else positive, and moderate it to the girl's tastes.

My current girlfriend didn't really enjoy tickling as much as she does now until her body obviously realised that the act often led to me manipulating her nerves in other ways *ahem* 🙄

Also, realising just how much I liked it, meant that she knew that when we did it, I was having fun, and we all know that when someone we like is having fun when we're doing something with them, we tend to find it a lot easier to adapt to liking that thing ourselves. :happy:

So yeah, you need to attach tickling to something else; don't just do it arbitrarily, or it will get dull and annoying for most people. If you're into being the 'master' 😀 use it as a form of punishment. If it really turns you on physically, try to avoid doing it unless it's going to lead on to something else erotic. If it's just fun and you like hearing people giggle etc, do it very lightly and flirtily, and make sure the person knows that after you've tickled them for a minute or two, you're in a much better mood, that way, they'll be happy when you do it too! :happy:

It's all about association!

But, this in mind, I do admit some people will never like it, and you do, of course, alway have to cater to the individual you are dealing with.

...But don't give up! Some *hate* it at first, yet these are the exact same people who can become THE MOST into it.

NEVER BE NEGATIVE! 😀

My god I'm hyper... *dances around*

See you guys later! 😀😀😀😀😀
 
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Dude'sonfire said:
In my experience, you need to bring tickling together with something else positive, and moderate it to the girl's tastes.

My current girlfriend didn't really enjoy tickling as much as she does now until her body obviously realised that the act often led to me manipulating her nerves in other ways *ahem* 🙄

Also, realising just how much I liked it, meant that she knew that when we did it, I was having fun, and we all know that when someone we like is having fun when we're doing something with them, we tend to find it a lot easier to adapt to liking that thing ourselves. :happy:

So yeah, you need to attach tickling to something else; don't just do it arbitrarily, or it will get dull and annoying for most people. If you're into being the 'master' 😀 use it as a form of punishment. If it really turns you on physically, try to avoid doing it unless it's going to lead on to something else erotic. If it's just fun and you like hearing people giggle etc, do it very lightly and flirtily, and make sure the person knows that after you've tickled them for a minute or two, you're in a much better mood, that way, they'll be happy when you do it too! :happy:

It's all about association!

But, this in mind, I do admit some people will never like it, and you do, of course, alway have to cater to the individual you are dealing with.

...But don't give up! Some *hate* it at first, yet these are the exact same people who can become THE MOST into it.

NEVER BE NEGATIVE! 😀

My god I'm hyper... *dances around*

See you guys later! 😀😀😀😀😀
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What a smart fellow this dude who is on fire is........

I've never met a girl who really hated being tickled. They mostly just saw it, I believe, as a form of playfulness, with some occasional flirtation in it.
 
Good Topic With A Variety Of Thoughtful Responses(till Now)

Seems Like A Ball Gag Would Solve The Entire Problem. 😉 I Use Tickling As The Ultimate Turn On.( For Me) In A Relationship, As Others Have Stated,there Obviously Must Be Reciprocal Satisfaction Of Needs, Physical And Emotional. One Night Stands Of Tickling Torture Do Not Seem The Way To Go. Once The Other Party Knows How You Feel About Tickling, Then Depending On How Much They Care For You, They Can Generally Allow Some. Whether It Will Be Enough Tickle Time Or Intense Enough For You, Or Can You Adjust Your Tickle Demand To The Supply, Are Other Issues. How Important Will Tickling Be In The Entire Relationship Equation? Or Maybe They Can/will Just Use The Knowledge As A Control Power Chip. How Intensely And From What Type Of Prior Experiences The 'lee Formed Their Hatred Is Also Important.
 
brotherted said:
But I guess my question for the group is what percentage of girls actually like to be tickled? Isn't it a really small fraction??
Click to expand...

Damned if I know. I'd assume that any ventured guess would most likely be incorrect.

What have most people here experienced?
Click to expand...

Well, of the few girls I've dated, one said she really hated it (but for some reason never protested when we did it in bed). One girl said she liked it a little bit, but always but herself in precarious positions (if you catch my meaning). And one girl said it turned her on, and this was pretty obvious to me (more obvious than the excitement of the first girl). So take from that what you will.

And then if they say they hate it, do you do it anyway, just less often?
Click to expand...

Well, in the case of the girl who "hated" it, we were both young adults, and it was our first relationship, so...yeah. I did it anyway. But, as I said, she didn't seem to *really* hate it. If I thought she really did, I wouldn't have done it.

This will sound sort of New Age, but it's all about getting into the rhythm of your girl, you know? Yes, some girls really hate it. However, I think that, with the right guy, they might actually come to enjoy it (as several have mentioned, but in a different way). There are a lot of factors to take into consideration. It's never as simple as "I hate to be tickled." Never. I don't know if this makes any sense, but it's the best I've got at such a late hour.

With that in mind, how many women do I think are into tickling? 100% and 0% at the same time.
 
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