When Should You Bring Up Tickling the Person You are Writing to in a PM or VM?

[porcelaindoll2]

Ok I know this is the Tickling Media Forum. I understand that fully well. I'm just wondering when you think you should bring up tickling someone in a message? Personally I hate it when guys are too forward in the first message they send me. Ex., "Hey babe you are hot!" Let's get together!" "I'm dying to tickle those sexy feet of yours baby." "You'll be howling with laughter.""Write me back." Well I hope they don't act too surprised when they never get that message back from me. Messages like that just creep me out and sadly messages like that are why so many women leave the forum. They don't even try to get to know me. They just see me as a piece of tickle meat. Just because I'm a girl on this forum and I post pictures that doesn't make me a tickle slut. I'm not saying I don't like getting tickled, but I like to have a connection with the person who is tickling me. I treat finding kink partners the same way I treat finding a boyfriend/ girlfriend. Any thoughts on this subject?

I had one guy write a whole page detailing how he would tie me up and tickle me. This was the first message.

P.S. To all the ladies on the forum. This place is wonderful and I've met some really great guys. Trust me they are here you just have to find them.

 

[GQguy]

Hmmm. I prefer when people use the same social mores that we use in real life. "Hello my name is GQguy". "Hey, I noticed that post you made about XYZ". Being that this is a tickle themed forum I see no problem in asking someone about a post they made about tickling. "Dude, awesome story about tickling your girl last night, was she mad after?".

But talking about tickling someone as an introduction is just plain weird. When one gets to the point where they are flirting then tickle talk can be brought into the mix. You don't meet a girl at the bar and ask them for a tickle. Weird. But you can say hello and make small talk. Comment on the surroundings ect. If she's not into you the convo will drop with little to no help from her. Move on.

Fellas, include a pic. At least if you're good looking and come off as a creep she can give you a pass ;o)

Forums are interesting. One can illusion themselves into thinking they know someone simply by reading someone's post. The rude messages are not a reflection of the reciever but a reflection of the sender. Take no offense. Be flattered.

Girls on dating sites complain about the same things with guys on there too. Guys are guys. Some are cool. Most are not. Some kiss all the girls, and most kiss none. Just don't reply. But smile and take it as a compliment as you clean out your PM box.

Not a big deal all in all. Just fun!

GQguy

 

[Carsomyr]

Well, I've found that tickling comes up kind of naturally if you hit it off well with someone.

Being a 'ler I can only speak from that perspective, but female 'lees that warm up to you tend to start teasing a lot. It's hard to explain, but it's like they start looking for an excuse to pick a fight - all in good fun of course! xD If that happens, then that might be a good time to bring tickling up I guess. And I suppose if you like taking initiative you can always (as a 'ler) start out acting a bit cocky - in jest of course - in the conversation and see how the 'lee responds. Just don't push it if the other person is obviously not interested, there really is no point then.

Of course, nothing of the above - with exception to the very last sentence - should be regarded as a universal rule, it's just what I gather from my own experiences. The "social rules" (really? did I just call it that?) for bringing up tickling probably changes a bit if you mean just discussing it with someone in general (questions like "so when did you get into it", sorta), but I'm assuming the point here is when you bring it up to someone you would also like to meet up with.

And lastly, as was mentioned in the OP you just simply shouldn't bring it up in the first message. Ever. Really, who the hell just randomly approaches strangers like that anyway? Disregarding that it's damn creepy; you have absolutely no idea who the person you're approaching is, you have no idea what the personal chemistry is like, etc. Just sounds desperate to me; the action is screaming "I'll take anything I can get".

 

[waitin2btkled]

That is one of the biggest problems with meeting people from the forum. Once a girl is new to the forum, aside from being told from a lot of people on here, a BOMB of messages fill that person's box and it does get quite creepy.

I've had a tickle fetish since i was little and I would absolutely love to have someone close to home and play like crazy.

But you know what..... it would be nicer to get to know someone first and have something that would last than a "one nite tickle stand" if thats what you want to call it.

Even if you don't develop into a relationship or aren't interested romantically, its OK to be friends. There is nothing more important than you're family and close friends!!!

When should you bring tickling into the conversation....I usually do after 4-6 messages after at least getting the formalities out of the way... where are you from, career, other things to do for fun...ect...

But DON'T make a proposal, you're both obviously into tickling and you said if you're a LEE, LER or BOTH in the about me section of your profile.

Ask what experiences you have had, are you open with it...ect....

I understand what you mean porcelaindoll!!!

 

[GQguy]

Ladies, i'm curious. What is the nature of the majority of PM's you recieve? I'd imagine a few would be like the one mentioned above but most would be solid "hello's". Am I wrong?

 

[cloudgazer2k]

Once upon a time, I did that. Nowadays I wait until I get to know someone better, and even then I tend to wait to see if they initiate the tickle-talk first.

By the by: Hope you like the pics, Porcelain 😀

 

[rhiannon]

For some reason I am lucky enough to always had guys write to me who actually asked me first if it was alright to talk about tickling after they send a message that they'd like to talk to me. I though that was alright!

 

[Adam]

One female friend of mine had the "pleasure" of some weird dude from overseas that sent her PMs every so often that detailed what he'd like to do to her. Complete with fantastic, broken English hilarity. I know this because she shared said messages with me.

That being said, I agree with Carsomyr. Tickling discussion just tends to come up naturally after a comfort zone is developed. Not all tickle talk is bad when it comes rather early, though. I have had occasions where it has been brought up to me first. Most times it is very innocent, such as "what drew you to the kink in the first place?" Point is, just be smart about it, guys. Don't perv out and expect a woman to get all hot and bothered.

 

[Libertine]

Trolls

If a man can successfully approach a woman IRL, his online communication will reflect that. All a graphic email sent to a total stranger indicates is a complete lack of social skills.

And what attractive/sane (i.e. non-desperate) woman would even bother responding?

Speaking as a male, I know it takes a while for us to learn how to be human. And it's an admittedly painful process, but ya just gotta do it!

 

[TropicThunder]

I had one guy write a whole page detailing how he would tie me up and tickle me. This was the first message.

Oh jeez. I wonder who that was.


But those who posted already are right. The people I enjoy the most tickling conversation with (out side of those I've met in RL) are the one's where it just came up naturally in the flow of conversation. I have lots of people approach me on the forum and we start chatting on there before we ever move off into PM.

I was on the forum a few years ago when I was younger, and it was because of all those creepy too-personal PMs I got, and the overall suggestiveness and pushiness that came from some people just made me really uncomfortable, so I left. I'm kind of glad I did, because it gave me the opportunity to mature just a little bit more. When I came back, I was hesitant to even post a picture of myself because I was worried that some creepers would recognize me. After awhile though, when I got comfortable with being on the forums and making a whole bunch of new friends, I decided that it was stupid to hide. And when I did finally post a picture, I was totally recognized. But I stopped caring and ignored the creepers.

Now I've got the pleasure of knowing so many amazing people, a whole bunch of new and awesome friends, and maybe...just maybe.... a potential love.

So worth it.

 

[Naughty Summer]

Ok I know this is the Tickling Media Forum. I understand that fully well. I'm just wondering when you think you should bring up tickling someone in a message? Personally I hate it when guys are too forward in the first message they send me. Ex., "Hey babe you are hot!" Let's get together!" "I'm dying to tickle those sexy feet of yours baby." "You'll be howling with laughter.""Write me back." Well I hope they don't act too surprised when they never get that message back from me. Messages like that just creep me out and sadly messages like that are why so many women leave the forum. They don't even try to get to know me. They just see me as a piece of tickle meat. Just because I'm a girl on this forum and I post pictures that doesn't make me a tickle slut. I'm not saying I don't like getting tickled, but I like to have a connection with the person who is tickling me. I treat finding kink partners the same way I treat finding a boyfriend/ girlfriend. Any thoughts on this subject?

I had one guy write a whole page detailing how he would tie me up and tickle me. This was the first message.

P.S. To all the ladies on the forum. This place is wonderful and I've met some really great guys. Trust me they are here you just have to find them.

Oh my gosh, I'm so glad you brought this up. I thought I was the only one that felt this way.
I guess I've gotten Immune to it all since I've been on the Web for over 11 years now, I don't even think about it. I just consider it typical any more. I just figured since I put myself out there it's expected. I appreciate honesty but I agree it's too much on the first note when someone says they want to bang your brains out (and this is putting it nicely if you know what I mean).

I agree being a gentleman goes a long way with me too.

Thanks so much for posting this!!

 

[No_Style]

porcelain, I agree totally that a guy/girl should talk to you for a reasonable amount of time (not just about tickling. other stuff too) before meeting. They have to earn your respect to earn tickles 🙂

 

[TickleToy4You]

I believe it should take a good amount of time before you actually meet up with someone on here and be able to have them tie you up and tickle you. Get to know the person, talk to them about likes and dislike, discussing free time and traveling. When you are ready you can simply ask if they would like to meet up for a session. Just because someone says they aren't ready doesn't mean they don't wanna meet for a session it's just they need more time. If you knew them IRL I guess it would be easier but if it's in a PM or a VM it could be intimidating.

 

[Mitchell]

If I leave a message for a new girl, which is rare nowadays, I will tell them why I joined the forum, and that I had a pen pal who was into tickling, who passed away, and that is how I became interested in the subject. If they reply, I will then thank them for replying, and ask them if they would mind discussing tickling. If they say yes, tickling doesnt come up until at least the third message. If they want to wait longer, I wait longer.

I used to discuss tickling, and ask questions, in the first message, and found that wasnt a very good approach. Nowadays, I wait a bit to discuss any tickling.

Mitch

 

[rhiannon]

I believe it should take a good amount of time before you actually meet up with someone on here and be able to have them tie you up and tickle you. Get to know the person, talk to them about likes and dislike, discussing free time and traveling. When you are ready you can simply ask if they would like to meet up for a session. Just because someone says they aren't ready doesn't mean they don't wanna meet for a session it's just they need more time. If you knew them IRL I guess it would be easier but if it's in a PM or a VM it could be intimidating.

Have you actually read the topic here? 🙂

 

[Brock Samson]

Utilizing social skills is probably the best way to not be ignored. It's a tickling forum, and we all know it, so there's no need to come off super strong about it. At the same time, this is still a social forum, so all those great social skills that help you get along with your friends in the world should be used here. It's just common sense.

You know, while we are on the subject, it shouldn't be regarded as some kind of countdown either. If the only reason you talk to someone is for the hope that you get to have a session with them, instead of being genuinely interested in who they are as a person, you won't get very far. That rule applies to many aspects of life, so of course it applies here, moreso even. Don't come at someone with the angle of just getting them tied down to a bed. Gain an acquaintance, make a friend, establish a connection with a total stranger for the simple joy of meeting someone new. Life will be much better this way.

 

[Skulls]

I believe it should take a good amount of time before you actually meet up with someone on here and be able to have them tie you up and tickle you. Get to know the person, talk to them about likes and dislike, discussing free time and traveling. When you are ready you can simply ask if they would like to meet up for a session. Just because someone says they aren't ready doesn't mean they don't wanna meet for a session it's just they need more time. If you knew them IRL I guess it would be easier but if it's in a PM or a VM it could be intimidating.

In regards to getting to know someone, this guy agrees 100%. I, for one, spent a lot of time on the forums and in the chat getting to know people and also told myself I'm probably not the type to ever meet anyone IRL from here.

That changed in 2007 when I went to NEST and met tons of people I had only knew online. Meeting people for the first time that you've known for so long and already built up a relationship with was amazing and a unique experience I recommend you do not miss out on at some point in your life.

Also, I met with someone more recently, alone, and we went out to dinner and out for dessert. I had only met the person one time before, but we had a great time. I did ask if she was interested in any play after our day together and she said no. Was I upset or feel awkward, not at all. I had a great day with a great person and I hope she felt the same.

On-line interaction should be a reflection of your true personality and treat everyone you meet here as you would if you were talking to the person face-to-face. If anyone cannot respect you as a person, they don't even deserve a reply.

~Skulls~

 

[maniactickler]

I never mention tickling in PMs.

 

[Morpheus72]

Tickling discussion just tends to come up naturally after a comfort zone is developed.

That's how it should work. Common sense, for those who possess it. 🙂