When your spouse isn't into it

[reflexology414]

I've been talking with a friend who is married to a woman who isn't at all open to tickling. I can't begin to imagine being in a situation like that, and I'm just wondering if anyone else here has been (or still is) in a relationship like that. How did you handle it? How do you handle it?

 

[the tickleshow]

I've been talking with a friend who is married to a woman who isn't at all open to tickling. I can't begin to imagine being in a situation like that, and I'm just wondering if anyone else here has been (or still is) in a relationship like that. How did you handle it? How do you handle it?

Not only is my spouse not into it, but she is repulsed by the thought of tickling as a fetish AND she's exteremely ticklish!
I was told by a tickler years ago, prior to the TMF's existense that I should avoid getting involved with a woman who is not on the same page in terms of tickling, but I unfortunately ignored that. It is NOT a pleasant situation.

I hope that helps your conversation a little.


Enjoy the Show!
The TickleShow
www.tickleshow.webs.com
www.clips4sale.com/28100
www.videos4sale.com/28100

 

[Artoo]

See, I can understand having a spouse who may not be into tickling, but is willing to accomodate your kinks provided you do something "special" for her in return. Like hitting her with a wet fish whilst donning a latex nose plug.

But what I don't get is how people get into marriages without the subject of what really turns one on coming up beforehand, thereby freaking their partners out when it eventually comes up (no pun intended) in the bedroom.
My potential spouse accomodating me in the bedroom would be a must, were I to eventually get married. I'd expect no less of myself in such a relationship. So I'd certainly bring up my fetish long before I ever got to the point of being married.

 

[reflexology414]

?

Does she let you session with other people? Did you come to an agreement of some kind?

Not only is my spouse not into it, but she is repulsed by the thought of tickling as a fetish AND she's exteremely ticklish!
I was told by a tickler years ago, prior to the TMF's existense that I should avoid getting involved with a woman who is not on the same page in terms of tickling, but I unfortunately ignored that. It is NOT a pleasant situation.

I hope that helps your conversation a little.


Enjoy the Show!
The TickleShow
www.tickleshow.webs.com
www.clips4sale.com/28100
www.videos4sale.com/28100

 

[rhiannon]

I've been talking with a friend who is married to a woman who isn't at all open to tickling. I can't begin to imagine being in a situation like that, and I'm just wondering if anyone else here has been (or still is) in a relationship like that. How did you handle it? How do you handle it?

My husband isn't into tickling at all. It's not a big problem really. There is other stuff I enjoy, so I can live with it. I don't need tickling to have a fulfilled sex life.

 

[Camel26]

My wife wasn't into tickling at all when we first got together...I came clean to her early on in our relationship about my needs...and when she realized how much it turned me on to be tickled, it kind of flipped a switch for her...she's become one of the most vicious lers I've ever encountered...and even encourages others to join in...😉

I know I'm in a rare situation...but it could happen...honesty = best policy. Continuing the relationship after coming clean will depend on your friend's needs, and how important tickling is to him vs. the relationship.

 

[rhiannon]

Well, if you're a lee it shouldn't be such a problem...if you're a ler, that's more difficult.

 

[Acidosis]

I don't understand why this didn't come up sooner in the relationship. How do you date somebody for what I'm assuming is a decent period of time, marry them, and only then find out that they don't share the same turn-ons as you?

 

[bowler]

I don't understand why this didn't come up sooner in the relationship. How do you date somebody for what I'm assuming is a decent period of time, marry them, and only then find out that they don't share the same turn-ons as you?

My ex-wife was rarely ticklish and the times she was, she hated it. I did not even consider that when we got married. I enjoyed tickling, but it wasn't a big deal at the time. I had an ex-girlfriend who was very ticklish, but had bad experiences as a kid, so I did not bring my love for it up out of repsect for her. As much As much as I would have loved to tickle her (and she was VERY ticklish) I would not do it for more than a few seconds,

With that said, my next girlfriend WILL be ticklish and will know of my love for it.

 

[rhiannon]

I don't understand why this didn't come up sooner in the relationship. How do you date somebody for what I'm assuming is a decent period of time, marry them, and only then find out that they don't share the same turn-ons as you?

There is a thing called love! And when you fall in love, sometimes something as minor as a kink starts to be totally unimportant unless you need it to have sex.

Sometimes people also don't come out of the closet before they get married.

 

[Acidosis]

There is a thing called love! And when you fall in love, sometimes something as minor as a kink starts to be totally unimportant unless you need it to have sex.

Sometimes people also don't come out of the closet before they get married.

This is true.

However, in order for a relationship to work, both partners need to be on the same page sexually, or it probably won't work out. If tickling is a large part of your sex life, and I'm going to assume sex is as important to you as it is to many people, then making sure your future spouse shares the same sexual interests with you is important.

 

[rhiannon]

It depends! I mean, there is a lot of other stuff that I enjoy sexually, I don't necessarily HAVE to be tickled to have a fullfilling sex life, and I imagine a lot of people are that way. It is hard enough to find a partner that you love anyways, finding a partner with the exact same kinks is almost impossible.

And considering that sex will grow less and less important as the relationship goes on.....it's not that big of a deal really. 🙂

 

[Skipadeedoodah]

And considering that sex will grow less and less important as the relationship goes on.....it's not that big of a deal really. 🙂

I think this statement will definitely vary from person to person. Of course sex may become less frequent as you build a family and have kids running around - you won't be able to do it on the table, the washing machine, and the back porch anymore, but I don't see sex as something that well ever become unimportant in a relationship, and for that reason I would absolutely never get into a relationship with somebody who I didn't see eye to eye with on that level.

I plan to bring up tickling very early on in my next relationship, and if he's not into it then I'm not interested. That might sound selfish, but being into tickling is a deal breaker for me. It's not something I need 24/7, but I want what I want, and I'm not willing to settle for less.

 

[rhiannon]

I think this statement will definitely vary from person to person.

It might. But I am talking to a lot of people, and this goes for most of them, at least WITHIN the relationship! In time, a lot of people start to look for their kick outside of their relationships. It scares me how common this becomes.

 

[Skipadeedoodah]

It might. But I am talking to a lot of people, and this goes for most of them, at least WITHIN the relationship! In time, a lot of people start to look for their kick outside of their relationships. It scares me how common this becomes.

If people are looking for sex outside of their relationship, that doesn't indicate that sex is becoming less important in their relationship. It can indicate any number of things, but none of them are, "Sex isn't as important to me as it used to be."

 

[rhiannon]

If people are looking for sex outside of their relationship, that doesn't indicate that sex is becoming less important in their relationship. It can indicate any number of things, but none of them are, "Sex isn't as important to me as it used to be."

Well, if they tell me they search for sex outside of their relationship and I ask them why and they tell me that sex in the relationship is not what they want, it is not interesting for them anymore, then I guess that is what it indicates. 🙂

They love their partner, but sex with the partner just isn't arousing anymore. It happens when you are together for a long time. A lot! More than I thought actually!

 

[Skipadeedoodah]

Well, if they tell me they search for sex outside of their relationship and I ask them why and they tell me that sex in the relationship is not what they want, it is not interesting for them anymore, then I guess that is what it indicates. 🙂

They love their partner, but sex with the partner just isn't arousing anymore. It happens when you are together for a long time. A lot! More than I thought actually!

Seriously, why do I do this to myself?

 

[rhiannon]

Just telling you what I am hearing and experiencing.

Relationships change. Sex within the relationships changes, and its importance. Good for you if it never happens to you! But I can almost guarantee you, it will!

I myself used to want sex at least twice a week. Now I don't need and I don't want that anymore. Other things are far more important, at least in the relationship I am currently having.

But I am pretty sure it would be a whole different story if this relationship I am in ended and I started a new relationship. And that is how it is in every relationship I or most people are in, that's just the way it goes, believe it or not!

 

[BellaRisa]

Seriously, why do I do this to myself?

One of my favorite quotes: "I wish I could just be pessimistic instead of being constantly paralyzed by hope..." 😉

 

[Skipadeedoodah]

One of my favorite quotes: "I wish I could just be pessimistic instead of being constantly paralyzed by hope..." 😉

 

[OmahaTickler]

Rhi and Skip seem to be dancing around love vs. lust. Love develops between two people on a deep level that goes beyond the flesh. It's two people bonding on a spiritual level. Equating sex and love is a risky venture.

Lust is a primal urge, for sex, tickling, whatever. It's a surface feeling, not a deep one, in that you can lust after someone, but not love them. You want to have sex with someone you're attracted to physically.

I would submit that no two people have both love and lust in the total amounts each desires in a relationship. Each person is different.

I married for love, not lust (and this isn't anything biblical or religious on any level, by the way). I wanted to spend my life with her, and she, me. We bonded. Period. I'm into tickling, she is not. I knew it on our first date. I accepted it. I moved on. Everything else clicked. I can't imagine letting her slip away just because she doesn't share an uncommon sexual fetish. To me, that would be a tragedy.

--The Jester

 

[hotdog]

I like that quote as well. I agree with Artoo in that I could understand my if my wife didn't share the same level of enthusiasm for my fetish, but I couldn't marry a woman who couldn't accommodate me, at least on occasion. Part of sustaining a healthy relationship is understanding the value of compromise. Everyone deserves to be happy, and if it's important to you I feel you should stay true to that, like Skip was saying. Problems arise when you don't speak up right away, and you get into a long term situation where you love someone, then you find out she/he hates it. That's a pickle. I dated a woman for several years that who at first wasn't into it, but I was honest with her from the start and she had an open mind so we ended up having a lot of fun together. We're still friends and recently she told me that she really misses our sessions. More recently I dated a girl that just wasn't into it on top of being a pain in my ass so I gave her the boot. I guess my point is, be honest from the beginning and don't give up what's important to you. There are plenty of people out there.

 

[rhiannon]

I married for love, not lust (and this isn't anything biblical or religious on any level, by the way). I wanted to spend my life with her, and she, me. We bonded. Period. I'm into tickling, she is not. I knew it on our first date. I accepted it. I moved on. Everything else clicked. I can't imagine letting her slip away just because she doesn't share an uncommon sexual fetish. To me, that would be a tragedy.

That was beautiful and is exactly what I am talking about! 🙂

 

[Em Es]

I can't speak for women

But I can tell you I am one of too many men who learned the best ways to approach romance once it's too late. If I could do it over, my behavior with the fair sex would be a lot different and my tickling life would have to be a lot better - God knows it could not be much worse than it is now.

Reflexology414, here's hoping this finds you well. I sent you an e-mail two weeks or so ago.

 

[Ttothe11thpower]

I'll hold my prick accountable if my spouse isn't into it!! It's most likely something I'm doing or not doing in that sort of situation.