When your spouse isn't into it

[Bizkit]

The last girl I dated wasn't into it at all.She was one of only two girls I dated who weren't into it in the least bit.Both of those relationships lacked any kind of meaningful chemistry.For me,she has to at least enjoy it on some level for things to be able to even remotely work out.

There have been times where I have felt kinda selfish for being close-minded when it comes to needing the tickling ''thing'' in a relationship but that's the way it is.It doesn't even have to include bondage but she must enjoy engaging in the art itself.All relationships require compromise but that is one thing I won't bend on.

 

[Flatfoot]

Sorry to tell you, guys....we got you hooked when you gave us that ring! 😀

I love your honesty! 😀

You said what I wanted to say from the other side of the fence, but didn't want to appear bitter. 😛

 

[rhiannon]

I love your honesty! 😀

You said what I wanted to say from the other side of the fence, but didn't want to appear bitter. 😛

LOL, hey, the truth has to be told. 😉 And just imagine the face of the judge when you tell him the reason for wanting to divorce is that your wife doesn't let you tickle her.....

 

[sabertooth]

My wife is not into at all. I would not dare tell her. One time I was at the tickling emporium site and you know how the dumb video is playing and it's loud....well, she sort of caught me, called me the devil and accused me of being a porn seeker. Talk about a deer in the headlights geeezz.

 

[asutickler]

My wife is not into at all. I would not dare tell her. One time I was at the tickling emporium site and you know how the dumb video is playing and it's loud....well, she sort of caught me, called me the devil and accused me of being a porn seeker. Talk about a deer in the headlights geeezz.

This is probably going to come across as rude, but I honestly don't intend it as such, so please accept my apologies in advance.

That said, why on Earth would you commit to spending the rest of your life with someone like that? It sounds like you're afraid to be yourself around her, and that she's very bossy, judgmental and controlling. About 40% of the internet is made up of porn. MOST guys watch it... Does she think that half of the planet's population is made up of "devils?"

You might be married, but that doesn't mean that she owns you. It sounds like you need to sit down with her and have a serious talk.

 

[Skipadeedoodah]

This is probably going to come across as rude, but I honestly don't intend it as such, so please accept my apologies in advance.

That said, why on Earth would you commit to spending the rest of your life with someone like that? It sounds like you're afraid to be yourself around her, and that she's very bossy, judgmental and controlling. About 40% of the internet is made up of porn. MOST guys watch it... Does she think that half of the planet's population is made up of "devils?"

You might be married, but that doesn't mean that she owns you. It sounds like you need to sit down with her and have a serious talk.

QFT.

 

[rhiannon]

My wife is not into at all. I would not dare tell her. One time I was at the tickling emporium site and you know how the dumb video is playing and it's loud....well, she sort of caught me, called me the devil and accused me of being a porn seeker. Talk about a deer in the headlights geeezz.

She's surprised you are watching porn? Time for a healthy dose of reality!! Your wife needs to come into the real world, where we are aware that guys - and even women! - watch porn! 🙂

I also think it's rather disturbing that you can't tell your sexual preferrences to your wife! That is just sad! Who else would you be able to tell if not her? I always thought the most important thing in a marriage is trust!

 

[reflexology414]

Amen

This is probably going to come across as rude, but I honestly don't intend it as such, so please accept my apologies in advance.

That said, why on Earth would you commit to spending the rest of your life with someone like that? It sounds like you're afraid to be yourself around her, and that she's very bossy, judgmental and controlling. About 40% of the internet is made up of porn. MOST guys watch it... Does she think that half of the planet's population is made up of "devils?"

You might be married, but that doesn't mean that she owns you. It sounds like you need to sit down with her and have a serious talk.

Amen to everything you just said. Life is far too short. Why spend it with someone who judges and doesn't understand you? I couldn't do that to myself.

 

[rhiannon]

Amen to everything you just said. Life is far too short. Why spend it with someone who judges and doesn't understand you? I couldn't do that to myself.

On the other hand - why didn't he tell his wife what he is into? Maybe she just reacted like that because she didn't know! If I found out my husband is into something and he never told me about it, I would for sure be pissed. Not because he is into it, but because he never told me!

 

[sabertooth]

Thanks for the reply people, I don't take it as being rude. At diffrent places some people react diffrent than others, thats why we all have the forum isn't it? Some people are into fetishes, some are not. My wife is not and I don't hold that against her. She cooks and cleans and other things, so it's a big deal, but its not a big deal. Thats why having you guys are so good. I'm have a tickle fetish and so do most of you. So simmer down folks, it's not the end of the world. Be young, have fun, drink pepsi!

 

[SmarterthanU]

Yeah, maybe the first one, two, even three years! But once you are together for a while, married, have kids, and the first lovey-dovey feeling is over and she feels that she has you hooked safely - she doesn't really need to do things that turn you on if she doesn't enjoy them to some part. I hear this all the time. It's not a coincidence that so many married men try to find a play partner online!

Ah, well - there's the rub, eh? "Hooked safely?" Any woman (or man, for that matter) who thinks there's any such thing as "hooked safely" is just kidding her/himself. I'm sure there are a lot of people who'd stay in a relationship with a partner like that - just no self-respecting ones. A person who honestly doesn't care about what makes her partner happy is just asking for divorce. Any therapist will tell you that.

More than that, there is simply no reason to remain in a relationship in which you are unhappy. You aren't doing anyone a favor by doing that. People grow, change, what have you. All other things equal, I think it's only right to try to work things out. If there's trouble in sex land, if the couple can't be honest with each other and get on the same page, there's always therapy. But sometimes, it just doesn't work out. That isn't the end of the world. It happens.

More specifically, different people think different things about different kinks. But being into tickling with a consenting adult sex partner is not against the law. It's perfectly OK to be into that. There's no reason to be on the defensive just because you like something special in the sack. People get into trouble because they are embarrassed about their kink, try to hide it, deny it, etc. Yes, you should be able to tell your potential life partner the truth about what you like in bed. But even if you didn't, that doesn't mean you have to live the rest of your life in misery.

 

[Sunriseticklee]

My wife is not into at all. I would not dare tell her. One time I was at the tickling emporium site and you know how the dumb video is playing and it's loud....well, she sort of caught me, called me the devil and accused me of being a porn seeker. Talk about a deer in the headlights geeezz.

Man... I remember the first time I caught a boyfriend of mine looking at porn. I did freak out, at first. Then I remembered that he didn't freak out on me when I told him how I felt about tickling. So.... we sat down and I watched my first "flick" with him. LOL

 

[reflexology414]

...

On the other hand - why didn't he tell his wife what he is into? Maybe she just reacted like that because she didn't know! If I found out my husband is into something and he never told me about it, I would for sure be pissed. Not because he is into it, but because he never told me!

Yes, he should have told her sooner, but I stand by what I said. Life is way too short. I could never stay in a relationship with someone who wasn't into this. It's simply too big a part of me. I understand that there must be other things as well, but this has to be part of the mix. I wish him the best.

 

[sabertooth]

Geezz guys, loosen up. It is what it is and not a death sentence. Hey I thought posting here was suppose to be fun. I'm not worried about my sitiuation, actually thought it was kind of funny. Shes not ticklish anyway. People , your digging to deep. This is the fun loving tickling forum, not the Dr. phil show.

 

[rhiannon]

Ah, well - there's the rub, eh? "Hooked safely?" Any woman (or man, for that matter) who thinks there's any such thing as "hooked safely" is just kidding her/himself. I'm sure there are a lot of people who'd stay in a relationship with a partner like that - just no self-respecting ones. A person who honestly doesn't care about what makes her partner happy is just asking for divorce. Any therapist will tell you that.

More than that, there is simply no reason to remain in a relationship in which you are unhappy. You aren't doing anyone a favor by doing that. People grow, change, what have you. All other things equal, I think it's only right to try to work things out. If there's trouble in sex land, if the couple can't be honest with each other and get on the same page, there's always therapy. But sometimes, it just doesn't work out. That isn't the end of the world. It happens.

More specifically, different people think different things about different kinks. But being into tickling with a consenting adult sex partner is not against the law. It's perfectly OK to be into that. There's no reason to be on the defensive just because you like something special in the sack. People get into trouble because they are embarrassed about their kink, try to hide it, deny it, etc. Yes, you should be able to tell your potential life partner the truth about what you like in bed. But even if you didn't, that doesn't mean you have to live the rest of your life in misery.

"Hooked safely" more or less means the couple is together for along time and has established a safe, deep bond (it's called love, just in case you haven't heard about it 😉 ). Usually keeps people together more effectively than anything else!

You say "people who don't care what makes their partner happy" and look at people who are unwilling to make their tickling-loving-partner happy by letting themselves getting tickled.

Now let's look at this a little closer - it is not alright for the partner not to make the tickle-fetishist happy, but it is perfectly alright for the tickle-fetishist to make the partner unhappy by doing something that he/she feels uncomfortable with? Hm, I see something wrong here!! Why would you even want to do it if it makes your partner uncomfortable? Would it even be fun for you? Some people endure stuff they don't like for a long time out of love, but eventually they might not be able to stand it anymore.

And that would be a reason to end a relationship? Come on now!

A happy relationship does consist of so much more than tickling! Even if you talk about a happy sex life - do you really NEED tickling to have a good sex life? I know I don't....it's like icing on the cake, but not a necessity to eat and enjoy the cake! 🙂

 

[Rook's Media]

Here's my viewpoint...

If someone ends up in a 1 year, 5 year, or 10 year relationship, etc.,...and avoids telling their partner about their interest in tickling, they have only themselves to blame.

Relaying specific interests involves the application of basic communication skills, which unfortunately, most human beings seemingly fail to utilize within the realm of cohabitation. Why is this?

Fear?

Most likely.

If someone wants to live in constant fear of their spouse discovering their interests, more power to them. I've chosen to take the alternate route...
I love bringing up the topic of fetishism to women that I date! It's always a blast...and when introduced maturely, appropriately, and respectfully, it can be an awesome ice breaker...and an outright bonding experience, within the first few days of a dating relationship.

**Note**

Please re-read the paragraph above. Take notice that I've written the following words: introduced maturely, appropriately, and respectfully! Tickling fetishism shouldn't be introduced to a partner by randomly poking them, expecting them to like it, and pouting if they don't. Just like golden showers shouldn't be introduced by....well, you get the picture! 😛

Communication is key!

Just because you have a fetish (whatever it may be), always remember, you're in control of your own destiny. It shouldn't dominate every nook and cranny of one's life...but it also shouldn't be covered up and/or forgotten about. If this occurs, you must fix it!

Be fuc**** proud of who you are.
Life's too short to approach it from any other angle.

Ummmm....

Oh yeah,

I hope everyone is doing well! 😛



Ryan @ Rook's Media

 

[evilletickler]

DELETED

 

[Cavum]

Not only is my spouse not into it, but she is repulsed by the thought of tickling as a fetish AND she's exteremely ticklish!
I was told by a tickler years ago, prior to the TMF's existense that I should avoid getting involved with a woman who is not on the same page in terms of tickling, but I unfortunately ignored that. It is NOT a pleasant situation.

I hope that helps your conversation a little.

Ouch...

Here's my viewpoint...

If someone ends up in a 1 year, 5 year, or 10 year relationship, etc.,...and avoids telling their partner about their interest in tickling, they have only themselves to blame.

Relaying specific interests involves the application of basic communication skills, which unfortunately, most human beings seemingly fail to utilize within the realm of cohabitation. Why is this?

Fear?

Most likely.

If someone wants to live in constant fear of their spouse discovering their interests, more power to them. I've chosen to take the alternate route...
I love bringing up the topic of fetishism to women that I date! It's always a blast...and when introduced maturely, appropriately, and respectfully, it can be an awesome ice breaker...and an outright bonding experience, within the first few days of a dating relationship.

**Note**

Please re-read the paragraph above. Take notice that I've written the following words: introduced maturely, appropriately, and respectfully! Tickling fetishism shouldn't be introduced to a partner by randomly poking them, expecting them to like it, and pouting if they don't. Just like golden showers shouldn't be introduced by....well, you get the picture! 😛

Communication is key!

Just because you have a fetish (whatever it may be), always remember, you're in control of your own destiny. It shouldn't dominate every nook and cranny of one's life...but it also shouldn't be covered up and/or forgotten about. If this occurs, you must fix it!

Be fuc**** proud of who you are.
Life's too short to approach it from any other angle.

Ummmm....

Oh yeah,

I hope everyone is doing well! 😛



Ryan @ Rook's Media

Couldn't agree more what what you say.
A fetish is normaly a big part of a persons life. When you date someone this subject should be brought up ASAP. Maby even before the date, cause ending up with someone who don't accept a fetish or is someone you can't live our your fantasies with should be in your life. So many people is talking about "but what if she's the one true love?" and all that. Well she ain't if you can't do the things you want and be open about what you like.

Never trick someone intro being tickled in a relationship. Thats something you do when you first discover the fetish and are in relationships at secondary school.

And just like Ryan says...be PROUD of who you are! When your in this forum you can absolut see that your not alone! There are ALOT of people intro this, and just imagen all the people who ain't on this forum.

Don't be a fool and end up with someone who don't accept your fetish and don't respect you for what you are. They have nothing to do in your life.

 

[rhiannon]

A fetish is normaly a big part of a persons life.

The question is also: how many people on here actually HAVE a REAL fetish, which means that they wouldn't be able to have sex without tickling. I don't think that pertains to a hole lot.

If tickling is just something that they like to do, not something that they need to do, then it shouldn't be all too much of a problem! Most guys I met liked to do anal. But guess what, it freaking hurts me, so BACK OFF with it, and I don't think it was asked too much of me to not do it. 🙂

So many people is talking about "but what if she's the one true love?" and all that. Well she ain't if you can't do the things you want and be open about what you like.

I think there is a difference between "being open about what you like" and actually doing that. Of course your partner shouldn't think you are a freak when you are into tickling! But a relationship is not about "doing the things you want", it's about compromise! And if you find somebody you truly love, but the person really can't stand being tickled, well - there is not so much room for compromise there, except then finding something that both enjoy which I am sure will be existing!

It isn't like we are into back rubs here, we are talking about a thing that a lot of people don't like done to them! If that wasn't the case, I don't think this forum would exist!

 

[Cavum]

I think there is a difference between "being open about what you like" and actually doing that. Of course your partner shouldn't think you are a freak when you are into tickling! But a relationship is not about "doing the things you want", it's about compromise! And if you find somebody you truly love, but the person really can't stand being tickled, well - there is not so much room for compromise there, except then finding something that both enjoy which I am sure will be existing!

It isn't like we are into back rubs here, we are talking about a thing that a lot of people don't like done to them! If that wasn't the case, I don't think this forum would exist!

Of course there is compromises, but if you can't do the things that makes you happy then it would not be a good relationship. At least not in my eyes. In many cases a relationship ends because they can't live out the things they want.

 

[rhiannon]

Well, but there are a lot of things that make people happy. For me, it is not limited to tickling, meaning if I don't get tickled I am unhappy. That is just not the case!

Being with someone I love and who loves me makes me 1000x happier than being tickled for sure!

 

[Cavum]

Well, but there are a lot of things that make people happy. For me, it is not limited to tickling, meaning if I don't get tickled I am unhappy. That is just not the case!

Being with someone I love and who loves me makes me 1000x happier than being tickled for sure!

You think tickling is the only thing I mean here?
Imagen being together with someone you love and makes you 1000x happier than being tickled...AND you haved the tickling there as well. Thats what Im talking about.

 

[rhiannon]

Cool if you can have that! But a lot of people just don't! And in my opinion, not being with someone you love and who loves you just because they are not into tickling is very extreme! I have said it before, tickling is like icing on the cake, but not the cake itself.

 

[Cavum]

Cool if you can have that! But a lot of people just don't! And in my opinion, not being with someone you love and who loves you just because they are not into tickling is very extreme! I have said it before, tickling is like icing on the cake, but not the cake itself.

For you maby it ain't, but for alot of people it is.

 

[rhiannon]

For you maby it ain't, but for alot of people it is.

I would say for a minority it is that way. Most on here don't have partners who are into it. And I also think you are limiting yourself too much if you make 'has to like tickling' a condition for your choice of partner.