c7_assassin
3rd Level Black Feather
- Joined
- Jun 24, 2007
- Messages
- 8,703
- Points
- 0
Like all Writers, I yearn for greater sensitivity. Art demands that we appreciate subtlety and cultivate our refined sensibilities so as to recognize distinctions between concepts and feelings and tease out some sort of profound meaning lurking below the surface of everyday life. Without insight, a Writer is merely an opinionated asshole who can spell.
I must confess to one horrible failing in this regard. I do not understand gay movies. I don't mean movies produced by and for the gay community, with gay characters frolicking about in uniquely gay situations. I understand the hell out of what Priscilla Queen of the Desert was trying to say (don't we dress fabulously? also the desert is poopy and all this sand is getting in my hair!). I mean ostensibly straight movies that for some nebulous reason tend to be embraced by gay people.
Here's an example: the first time I really knew that my gay teenaged cousin was, in fact, gay wasn't when he enrolled in fashion school, and it wasn't when he dyed his hair blue at the age of fifteen. It was when he showed me his DVD collection. At first glance, it appeared to be merely nauseating. The Producers. Be Cool. Gattaca. Ugh. Then I noticed a pattern emerging. The Truth About Cats and Dogs? My Super Ex-Girlfriend? Holy shit, my cousin somehow owned every Uma Thurman movie from the last ten years. Both Kill Bills (and also The Interpreter and Erin Brokovich for some reason). Then I knew.
Now, maybe this it would be reading too much into this to assign a gay je-ne-sais-quoi to Uma Thurman just because my flaming cousin likes her. But maybe not. I mean, if we break Uma Thurman down to her components, what do we find? She's exceptionally tall. She exceptionally non-curvy. In fact, she bears little resemblance to any woman I've ever met in real life. Really, she looks like a what a gay man might see as the ultimate woman; strong, flawless, objectively beautiful but subtly horrifying.
I've never understood the gay male idolization of starlets anyway. What specifically are they praising when they say that a woman is 'fabulous' or 'sexy'? What do gay men see in Judy Garland and her pudding-faced daughter? They for sure didn't want to fuck them; so do they want to be them? I know there are differences between cross-dressing, transsexuality and "gay," and I hate ignorant generalizations, so why must life hand me such confusing paradoxes?
Do gay men perhaps like strong female characters because, let's face it, they are the closest they get to a role model in most Hollywood films? Even in a post-Brokeback Mountain Hollywood, gay characters seem to be defined almost entirely by their sexual orientation. If a gay character makes an appearance in a film, count on the fact that their orientation will be commented on, and it makes no difference whether this commentary is supposed to be 'positive' or not. It still makes 'into bum-sex' seem like the defining character trait for all gay people (or, people-who-just-happen-to-be-gay), and that's got to be a little irksome. And this is exactly the sort of pigeonholing Hollywood has bravely been addressing...when it's done to women. Strong female characters don't give a shit how sexist society thinks a woman ought to behave. She's going to go out and sue giant corporations and cut people up with swords and become Pirate King because hear my vagina roar, pig-men! I can see a gay man vicariously appreciating the victory of another sexual underdog in a not-so-dissimilar gender-war (even when it's utter bullshit).
Or maybe I'm looking at this the wrong way. Maybe I was right the first time; perhaps my cousin just loves trite, shitty movies. I mean, it's hard to see My Super Ex-Girlfriend as anything other than an unfathomable well of monstrous dreck. And in fact, its inclusion in my cousin's DVD collection severely undercuts my thesis above; My Super Ex-Girlfriend despises its female lead and seems terrified female empowerment in general; it could have been written and directed by John Wayne Bobbitt's ex-penis. So do gay men instead just love themselves godawful trainwrecks of pop-culture garbage? Unfortunately the appreciation of camp (another supposed province of 'the gays') is also something at which I'm mediocre at best. I can get drunk and laugh at a bad movie with the best of them, but by definition I prefer Good Art to Bad Art. Some people (my cousin among them) seem to positively be in love with campy bullshit. And I really have no idea what makes one film 'campier' than another; I have no idea what would make My Super Ex Girlfriend more delightful for an artistic masochist than, say, Snow Dogs or an episode of Two and a Half Men, and yet somehow I know it must be. But I don't understand it.
Can anyone out there lend a queer eye to this straight guy and help me see what I'm missing here? Why do gay people like the things they like? Are they embracing crap, or are they responding to something I'm not seeing through my perpetual haze of pussy and beer? Am I the asshole for not getting My Super Ex Girlfriend? Is Uma Thurman a tranny? Help me!
I must confess to one horrible failing in this regard. I do not understand gay movies. I don't mean movies produced by and for the gay community, with gay characters frolicking about in uniquely gay situations. I understand the hell out of what Priscilla Queen of the Desert was trying to say (don't we dress fabulously? also the desert is poopy and all this sand is getting in my hair!). I mean ostensibly straight movies that for some nebulous reason tend to be embraced by gay people.
Here's an example: the first time I really knew that my gay teenaged cousin was, in fact, gay wasn't when he enrolled in fashion school, and it wasn't when he dyed his hair blue at the age of fifteen. It was when he showed me his DVD collection. At first glance, it appeared to be merely nauseating. The Producers. Be Cool. Gattaca. Ugh. Then I noticed a pattern emerging. The Truth About Cats and Dogs? My Super Ex-Girlfriend? Holy shit, my cousin somehow owned every Uma Thurman movie from the last ten years. Both Kill Bills (and also The Interpreter and Erin Brokovich for some reason). Then I knew.
Now, maybe this it would be reading too much into this to assign a gay je-ne-sais-quoi to Uma Thurman just because my flaming cousin likes her. But maybe not. I mean, if we break Uma Thurman down to her components, what do we find? She's exceptionally tall. She exceptionally non-curvy. In fact, she bears little resemblance to any woman I've ever met in real life. Really, she looks like a what a gay man might see as the ultimate woman; strong, flawless, objectively beautiful but subtly horrifying.
I've never understood the gay male idolization of starlets anyway. What specifically are they praising when they say that a woman is 'fabulous' or 'sexy'? What do gay men see in Judy Garland and her pudding-faced daughter? They for sure didn't want to fuck them; so do they want to be them? I know there are differences between cross-dressing, transsexuality and "gay," and I hate ignorant generalizations, so why must life hand me such confusing paradoxes?
Do gay men perhaps like strong female characters because, let's face it, they are the closest they get to a role model in most Hollywood films? Even in a post-Brokeback Mountain Hollywood, gay characters seem to be defined almost entirely by their sexual orientation. If a gay character makes an appearance in a film, count on the fact that their orientation will be commented on, and it makes no difference whether this commentary is supposed to be 'positive' or not. It still makes 'into bum-sex' seem like the defining character trait for all gay people (or, people-who-just-happen-to-be-gay), and that's got to be a little irksome. And this is exactly the sort of pigeonholing Hollywood has bravely been addressing...when it's done to women. Strong female characters don't give a shit how sexist society thinks a woman ought to behave. She's going to go out and sue giant corporations and cut people up with swords and become Pirate King because hear my vagina roar, pig-men! I can see a gay man vicariously appreciating the victory of another sexual underdog in a not-so-dissimilar gender-war (even when it's utter bullshit).
Or maybe I'm looking at this the wrong way. Maybe I was right the first time; perhaps my cousin just loves trite, shitty movies. I mean, it's hard to see My Super Ex-Girlfriend as anything other than an unfathomable well of monstrous dreck. And in fact, its inclusion in my cousin's DVD collection severely undercuts my thesis above; My Super Ex-Girlfriend despises its female lead and seems terrified female empowerment in general; it could have been written and directed by John Wayne Bobbitt's ex-penis. So do gay men instead just love themselves godawful trainwrecks of pop-culture garbage? Unfortunately the appreciation of camp (another supposed province of 'the gays') is also something at which I'm mediocre at best. I can get drunk and laugh at a bad movie with the best of them, but by definition I prefer Good Art to Bad Art. Some people (my cousin among them) seem to positively be in love with campy bullshit. And I really have no idea what makes one film 'campier' than another; I have no idea what would make My Super Ex Girlfriend more delightful for an artistic masochist than, say, Snow Dogs or an episode of Two and a Half Men, and yet somehow I know it must be. But I don't understand it.
Can anyone out there lend a queer eye to this straight guy and help me see what I'm missing here? Why do gay people like the things they like? Are they embracing crap, or are they responding to something I'm not seeing through my perpetual haze of pussy and beer? Am I the asshole for not getting My Super Ex Girlfriend? Is Uma Thurman a tranny? Help me!





