I LIKE this thread!
I like this thread because it addresses the core issues of why I'm deprived of all the girlflesh I want to get my evil little fingers into! But now that certain points have been made, I feel this is as good a time as any to bring in a few hypotheses I have as to why this issue exists.
When a girl tells a guy, "Don't tickle me, I hate being tickled," she is speaking Womanese. In English, it translates to, "I don't like you well enough to let you tickle me. Only men I really want to please can tickle me."
- EmEs
I think Em is referring to the frequently lamented, but never really explained doublespeak that women have, and this is one of THE core reasons for why men and women don't get along. Women have the more advanced brain; they process emotions with both hemispheres of their brain, so they naturally interpret far more meaning and depth into simple things than men (who only process emotion with one hemisphere) do. Imagine if women could see in Ultraviolet and men could only see in ROYGBV...women would be pointing out things that men can't see and the disparity would cause a rift; the woman would think the man is only pretending to see these very OBVIOUS things and get offended, and men would be trying to relate to someone who is seeing things that OBVIOUSLY aren't there. So when men seems callous or confused about an emotional issue, keep in mind ladies that he may actually have NO fucking clue what you're talking about because he can't relate to it the way you can; his "eyes" just can't see it.
So when women say phrases like the one presented above, she's trying to give you an answer cloaked in a cryptic context...if you understand what she means, you'll give the right answer and she'll know that you're a good choice; if you DON'T, you'll give the wrong answer and she'll know that it's a good thing she didn't act more obvious. It's a test, in a way, and I would relate it to their maternal nature, seeing as it would help them navigate veiled risks and dubious situations. However, it tends to be unnecessary because men are FAR more direct and they tend to be less trouble when you don't play head games because they know exactly where to stand and what to do...men who DO understand "womanese" tend to be far more dangerous because they understand the nature of duplicity and can get through the trap.
I have also learned that many women hate to be tickled by men because A) Men are not good ticklers or B) Only women know how to tickle properly.
-mgctouch
This is probably due to the fact that when men get excited (not even necessarily sexually) they get more aggressive. When a woman gets excited, she can become more intense, but men will increase their physical exertion, and this can make them tickle HARDER, making it possibly painful to the 'lee. It's mostly unconscious and we often aren't aware that we're doing it. I speak from personal experience because it takes concentration for me to restrain myself from applying a firmer touch when I get someone good...the idea being that the brain somehow wants to increase a pleasureable sensation, so it increases the application, like upping the doseage of a painkiller, not knowing or calculating the negative side-effects of it. Another reason may be that it's difficult to get a grip in a non-bondage situation. Virtually every girl I've ever tickled is a SQUIRMER, and when I get my finger in an armpit, I have to tickle a little harder than I would like because otherwise they'll wiggle right off of it! Yes, we like to provoke that kind of reaction, but we don't usually like when the prey gets away, lol.
And also there are limitless topics and threads about how easy it is to make the mistake of tickling too much or too hard on kids or in play, especially when their brain is saying "STOP! STOP! STOP!" but they're laughter is saying "MORE! MORE! MORE!" I have no clue what the damn solution to this one is.
On top of these things are a variety of reasons, most of which have been listed here already. What you have to factor in is the following:
1. Some women are Yenny-ticklish and it's just too intense for them.
2. Some have been tickle-tortured as a kid and developed a negative association with it.
3. Tickling is intense and physical and for reasons known only to the individual person, it can seem invasive and threatening...some of this comes from rape/assault trauma, others, a neurotic fear that only they would know from whence it came.
4. Some like it but have an erotic response and prefer that someone they like do it...also some have an erotic response to it and don't mind if ANYBODY does it.
5. Some probably are ticklish but don't feel too much about it one way or the other, but SURE as hell don't like it when they keep getting poked all the time, especially when its uninvited.
I think the key to all of these problems is communication. If women just come out and say exactly what context of tickling (or anything else, for that matter) they prefer, guys will for the most part comply with it because they will know the parameters of your criteria and flexibility. Otherwise, an open-ended declaration will only cause them to probe and poke until you finally lose patience with them and get mad. Men want to know tha answers and you'll find that they're easier to get along with when ambiguity is taken out of conversation and set aside for bedroom frolicking.
