FlockOfSeagulls
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everyday life to perfect strangers ? Is it done strictly for attention or are there other reasons for doing this such as having nothing better to do?
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why do some people feel compelled to ''share'' mundane aspects of ...
- Thread starter FlockOfSeagulls
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Hey Flock! Haven't seen you post in a bit. Good to see you.
I've wondered this myself. Until I have a better analogue for it, I liken internet usage to alcohol consumption, in that both remove inhibitions.
First, consider the chatroom and negativity, and the nature of the mean drunk. Not just our chatroom, but any chatroom. Every so often -- quite often, in fact, you'll get what is essentially a drunken brawler on there making an ass of themselves while trying to make asses of others, hurling insults, making snide comments, and just being hurtful to other people. Why? Because it's the internet, it's anonymous in a sense, and users feel no repercussions for their actions.
The problem is, unlike the real-life mean drunk who'll learn to keep civil or to themselves as of receiving a fist or two in the mouth, there is no such inhibitor and often no help online, and one is forced to become either a meaner, better insulter than the other, or just sit there and take it in response. Unfortunately, that pattern just fuels the negativity here, and when there are no repercussions and the ones victimized by the hurtful remarks try to keep it inside, it'll often still leak out in subtle asides, indirect and sarcastic remarks, and so what is often direct aggression in the chatroom fuels a cycle of passive aggression outside. Despite my attempts to keep things between posters cool, we just lost a thread recently, part of which exhibited just the sort of pattern I describe.
But people shake their heads, shrug their shoulders, and wonder why there's so much negativity...
That's a small part of why, with rare exception, I stay away from the chatroom. Just not as good an insulter as some -- never considered it a skill I'd want to hone. I've got better, more positive things to work on.
But, I'd recommend that everyone going in there first educate themselves beforehand on how to do a "screenshot" -- taking a snapshot of your screen. That way, if and when you feel insulted, you can save it and forward it to the Mods. Hopefully, you'll never have to use it, and you'll have a great time, but if not, maybe you can help the Mods and others understand, such that there's a little less head-shaking and shoulder-shrugging.
But onto the mundane:
Consider those contributors of mundane artifacts your talkative drunks. The ones who'll sit and tell you their life's story if you have an hour and a half or two. Now, mind you, they're drunk -- they've lost perspective about what you want to hear as they'll go off on tangents, minutiae, whathaveyou -- or in this case, they spend enough time on the net that they lose the part of their critical thinking that would ordinarily tell them to separate a message board from a blog, and so, it all sort of smears together... They don't really think about these boundaries in a clearly defined way.
They've come to be at home with this, and it's not necessarily attention-seeking behavior (though some of it is) any more than is just talking to a friend, or writing in a blog or a diary... They've just decided that this is the right place to put that sort of thing, for good or ill.
I think it happens mostly because continued internet use may inhibit critical thinking and so destroy the boundaries the rest of us see as clear as day.* At least, that's the best answer I've come up with thus far.
In short, the net is like booze, and we react to it in analogous ways. Until some of us sober up and recognize boundaries and that there are real people with real lives who feel things just like us on the other end of the line (and so, what we do here is real with real repercussions for others, things will continue as they are.
In the meantime, enjoy the parody of the mundane threads (I'm still waiting with breathless anticipation to hear how SmarterthanU's shower turns out
):
http://www.ticklingforum.com/showthread.php?t=114825
*An alternate interpretation that may apply in some cases is that things that some may regard as mundane may be seen as very significant events to the people that they happen to -- the death or acquisition of a pet, for instance, or getting a new job. These things engage and effect the lives of other users often very little, but they impact the original poster powerfully.
I've wondered this myself. Until I have a better analogue for it, I liken internet usage to alcohol consumption, in that both remove inhibitions.
First, consider the chatroom and negativity, and the nature of the mean drunk. Not just our chatroom, but any chatroom. Every so often -- quite often, in fact, you'll get what is essentially a drunken brawler on there making an ass of themselves while trying to make asses of others, hurling insults, making snide comments, and just being hurtful to other people. Why? Because it's the internet, it's anonymous in a sense, and users feel no repercussions for their actions.
The problem is, unlike the real-life mean drunk who'll learn to keep civil or to themselves as of receiving a fist or two in the mouth, there is no such inhibitor and often no help online, and one is forced to become either a meaner, better insulter than the other, or just sit there and take it in response. Unfortunately, that pattern just fuels the negativity here, and when there are no repercussions and the ones victimized by the hurtful remarks try to keep it inside, it'll often still leak out in subtle asides, indirect and sarcastic remarks, and so what is often direct aggression in the chatroom fuels a cycle of passive aggression outside. Despite my attempts to keep things between posters cool, we just lost a thread recently, part of which exhibited just the sort of pattern I describe.
But people shake their heads, shrug their shoulders, and wonder why there's so much negativity...
That's a small part of why, with rare exception, I stay away from the chatroom. Just not as good an insulter as some -- never considered it a skill I'd want to hone. I've got better, more positive things to work on.
But, I'd recommend that everyone going in there first educate themselves beforehand on how to do a "screenshot" -- taking a snapshot of your screen. That way, if and when you feel insulted, you can save it and forward it to the Mods. Hopefully, you'll never have to use it, and you'll have a great time, but if not, maybe you can help the Mods and others understand, such that there's a little less head-shaking and shoulder-shrugging.
But onto the mundane:
Consider those contributors of mundane artifacts your talkative drunks. The ones who'll sit and tell you their life's story if you have an hour and a half or two. Now, mind you, they're drunk -- they've lost perspective about what you want to hear as they'll go off on tangents, minutiae, whathaveyou -- or in this case, they spend enough time on the net that they lose the part of their critical thinking that would ordinarily tell them to separate a message board from a blog, and so, it all sort of smears together... They don't really think about these boundaries in a clearly defined way.
They've come to be at home with this, and it's not necessarily attention-seeking behavior (though some of it is) any more than is just talking to a friend, or writing in a blog or a diary... They've just decided that this is the right place to put that sort of thing, for good or ill.
I think it happens mostly because continued internet use may inhibit critical thinking and so destroy the boundaries the rest of us see as clear as day.* At least, that's the best answer I've come up with thus far.
In short, the net is like booze, and we react to it in analogous ways. Until some of us sober up and recognize boundaries and that there are real people with real lives who feel things just like us on the other end of the line (and so, what we do here is real with real repercussions for others, things will continue as they are.
In the meantime, enjoy the parody of the mundane threads (I'm still waiting with breathless anticipation to hear how SmarterthanU's shower turns out
):http://www.ticklingforum.com/showthread.php?t=114825
*An alternate interpretation that may apply in some cases is that things that some may regard as mundane may be seen as very significant events to the people that they happen to -- the death or acquisition of a pet, for instance, or getting a new job. These things engage and effect the lives of other users often very little, but they impact the original poster powerfully.
I agree with Cap about the mundane, but not about the chatroom. The conflict in the chatroom is rare, but when it occurs it's priceless. That's when people are at their best, using their heads for something other than displaying a backwards baseball cap and thinking they're cool for doing so.
But society seems to be moving in a direction in which what one says or even thinks is subject for punitive action if it doesn't meet with social standards. I find it a most disturbing trend and one that's been warned about by fiction writers for years.
And at the forefront of this new modern age of vocal despotism we have....drum roll please...The TMF censorship policies! Say the wrong thing...express an opinion that's unpopular enough...and you too can be banned! Shunned by the community for daring to think differently or refusing to march to the community drum beat.
And so....since heated debate and conflict have been designated as taboo, we're left with....the mundane. We talk about the simple things in life because they are the safest and least likely to raise *shudder* conflict.
But society seems to be moving in a direction in which what one says or even thinks is subject for punitive action if it doesn't meet with social standards. I find it a most disturbing trend and one that's been warned about by fiction writers for years.
And at the forefront of this new modern age of vocal despotism we have....drum roll please...The TMF censorship policies! Say the wrong thing...express an opinion that's unpopular enough...and you too can be banned! Shunned by the community for daring to think differently or refusing to march to the community drum beat.
And so....since heated debate and conflict have been designated as taboo, we're left with....the mundane. We talk about the simple things in life because they are the safest and least likely to raise *shudder* conflict.
Hey, you'll never believe this, but I saw a guy changing a flat tire on the side of the road!
Oh really? That's wild. You know they just don't make tires like they used to.
I had a flat tire once.
Flat tires suck. I really feel for you. Just PM me if you ever want to talk about it.
And such is life here in the TMF General Discussion. Not much interesting to talk about, but hey, we are CIVILISED!Oh really? That's wild. You know they just don't make tires like they used to.
I had a flat tire once.
Flat tires suck. I really feel for you. Just PM me if you ever want to talk about it.
I don't know... I think you overstate the severity of censorship policies a bit, Drew, but everyone has different opinions over where the line should be drawn.
Additionally, I don't want to be guilty of overstating the hostility in chat here. My remarks pertain to chatrooms in general though I briefly alluded to an issue that arose in this one. You can talk to some great, friendly and fun people in chat, and have a good time with folks. But I've seen enough insults and sniping in my life, and when I hear of another little chat drama with one person sniping at others, and see how the victim's frustration manifests, I'm encouraged ever more to steer clear of it.
Using your head is one thing, and I love wit and conflict handled artfully through it's use as much if not more than the next guy, but I see too much sniping out of spite or insecurity among my clients at work, so I'm not really interested in it here, nor do I view it as entertainment, nor as anything other than base and pathetic.
Now Drew, maybe you and I have different lines drawn between wit and sniping as well, but I suspect they'd be more easily seen than the somewhat grey boundaries of artful censorship.
Which reminds me -- I never got the chance to respond to you on another thread where the censorship debate's probably more relevant, and I do have a response in mind, so I'll try to get to that one sometime this weekend if I can. I do enjoy debating you, Drew.
Flock -- pardon us for our departure and brief thread hijack. We'll carry on about censorship shortly somewhere else and return this one to it's original topic of expression of mundanities in the public forum. I hope more will contribute their thoughts on the subject.
Headsnap
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I put my bin out on Monday night. They emptied it the following morning!
I say sir, you're going to get arrested if you don't calm down!
On a side note I changed the toilet roll today. The one with the pictures of the pineapples on it had run out so I put on the one with the oranges instead.
On a side note I changed the toilet roll today. The one with the pictures of the pineapples on it had run out so I put on the one with the oranges instead.
I have a large supply of toilet paper with a picture of Saddam on each sheet.Please pm me for information.I only ask a small fee for shipping and handling. 😀
I have a large supply of toilet paper with a picture of Saddam on each sheet.Please pm me for information.I only ask a small fee for shipping and handling. 😀
OMG!
FLOCKY!
I'll cast my vote for a combo: They're doing it for attention. They have no lives and nothing better to do than bore the crap out of all the rest of us and remind us how boring they really are. As if we didn't know already. Beleive me, we KNOW.
XOXO
FLOCKY!
I'll cast my vote for a combo: They're doing it for attention. They have no lives and nothing better to do than bore the crap out of all the rest of us and remind us how boring they really are. As if we didn't know already. Beleive me, we KNOW.
XOXO
If someone wants to post on what some see as mundane topics where is the harm?Nobody is forced to read anything here.If you feel that someone has a history of doing so don't open the thread and move on.It really is that simple.I might suggest that people who worry about such things need a life themselves.
Dr. Vollin
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Well said, bugman.
milagros317
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When I find that somebody often posts things that not worth reading (or worse, are annoying), then I just put him or her on my Ignore list. It's easy and you'll never be troubled by their worthless posts again. 😀
Oh no -- there's no harm in it. I don't think anyone was saying that there was. Flock was just wondering why, I think. I offered my dissection. I find it kinda' quirky myself and wonder why many people do many things, but hey, it's not hurting anybody, so I've got no problem with it.
Oh no -- there's no harm in it. I don't think anyone was saying that there was. Flock was just wondering why, I think. I offered my dissection. I find it kinda' quirky myself and wonder why many people do many things, but hey, it's not hurting anybody, so I've got no problem with it.
I really don't care why they do it Cap,nor do i worry about it.I have bigger fish to fry my ownself.I must say i always enjoy reading your posts on any subject here.😀
Luv2Tickle69
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Pssh...if you think THIS is bad in chatrooms....try doing what I do for a living....
I drive transit buses. And...I don't know what it is.....honest....I'm HARDLY a licensed, certificated therapist....I'm not overtly schooled in psychology (I studied it for a semester and a half at best), and when I'm driving...that's what I'm doing...DRIVING....I'm listening for sirens...the 'stop request' bell...or...a panicky "CAN YOU STOP HEEE-ERRE PLEEE-EEASSE!!!??" I truly don't have much in the way of time to hear someone's life story....but boy howdy....I get it....daily....from SOMEONE or another. And there's nothing I can do once they get started but just kinda "Uh-huh" in the right spots...maybe a nod or two...meanwhile, I'm driving as fast as legally (or illegally) possible to get them to their stop sooner. It's not because I don't care...but y'know?? I got a full enough plate....and my first goal is to get that individual and everyone else on board to their respective destinations in ONE piece....
....overall...I do try to bear in mind that some of these folks truly don't have anyone they can turn to. I don't know if it's the uniform I wear that gives off a 'trustworthy' vibe, or what it is...but, I DO try and keep that much in mind.
I drive transit buses. And...I don't know what it is.....honest....I'm HARDLY a licensed, certificated therapist....I'm not overtly schooled in psychology (I studied it for a semester and a half at best), and when I'm driving...that's what I'm doing...DRIVING....I'm listening for sirens...the 'stop request' bell...or...a panicky "CAN YOU STOP HEEE-ERRE PLEEE-EEASSE!!!??" I truly don't have much in the way of time to hear someone's life story....but boy howdy....I get it....daily....from SOMEONE or another. And there's nothing I can do once they get started but just kinda "Uh-huh" in the right spots...maybe a nod or two...meanwhile, I'm driving as fast as legally (or illegally) possible to get them to their stop sooner. It's not because I don't care...but y'know?? I got a full enough plate....and my first goal is to get that individual and everyone else on board to their respective destinations in ONE piece....
....overall...I do try to bear in mind that some of these folks truly don't have anyone they can turn to. I don't know if it's the uniform I wear that gives off a 'trustworthy' vibe, or what it is...but, I DO try and keep that much in mind.
SmarterthanU
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I don't mean this as an insult. I think it's really sad how many people have no real friends - no one to talk to about personal things that are typically thought of as completely inappropriate to share with strangers. Until the online chatroom came into existence, I don't think anyone, including social scientists, had any idea just how many alienated people there were in the world.
Most people who participate in chatrooms and contribute to forums are just regular people. But others spend a lot of time alone at night. I know that some of them are just crazy and can't really make real-world friends. But some are just lonely or afraid to socialize with real people.
Still, I make fun of these threads too. You can't help it, it's human nature. When someone posts something mundane, or worse - painfully personal - it is kind of funny. I mean, it isn't funny that your grandmother or your cat died, but it's funny that you created a thread to tell your "online friends" about it. What I think is hysterical is when someone creates a thread that says "My grandmother died two hours ago, and I'm so sad ..." If your fucking grandmother dies and the first thing you do is sign on to the internet so you can post the news on a tickling website, that, my friend, is pretty fucked up. What's even more fucked up are the "I gotta be ME!!!" threads or the "32nd anniversary of something very personal" threads. Sometimes, you just have to shake your head and walk away...
Most people who participate in chatrooms and contribute to forums are just regular people. But others spend a lot of time alone at night. I know that some of them are just crazy and can't really make real-world friends. But some are just lonely or afraid to socialize with real people.
Still, I make fun of these threads too. You can't help it, it's human nature. When someone posts something mundane, or worse - painfully personal - it is kind of funny. I mean, it isn't funny that your grandmother or your cat died, but it's funny that you created a thread to tell your "online friends" about it. What I think is hysterical is when someone creates a thread that says "My grandmother died two hours ago, and I'm so sad ..." If your fucking grandmother dies and the first thing you do is sign on to the internet so you can post the news on a tickling website, that, my friend, is pretty fucked up. What's even more fucked up are the "I gotta be ME!!!" threads or the "32nd anniversary of something very personal" threads. Sometimes, you just have to shake your head and walk away...
FlockOfSeagulls
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the problem with that is if you haven`t been on the forum for a while, is you have to wade through all the ''mundane crap'' to find other topics. And you read the headings without opening the threads. So the next time I need toilet paper I will print out your response and then flush it with the other b.s.
SmarterthanU
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Wait ... are you a bull?
FlockOfSeagulls
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OMG!
FLOCKY!
I'll cast my vote for a combo: They're doing it for attention. They have no lives and nothing better to do than bore the crap out of all the rest of us and remind us how boring they really are. As if we didn't know already. Beleive me, we KNOW.
XOXO
HELLO Stephipoo!!!!!!
Thanks to all those who came up with insightful ,intelligent responses.
FlockOfSeagulls
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SmarterthanU
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What's a "Mav"?No I am a Mavs fan!!!
I put my bin out on Monday night. They emptied it the following morning!
Hey weren't you the one who posted a thread about your shower? How did it go?
Ummm, if that WAS you, I was wondering if you could fill us in on what happened last time you took a dump?
I can see why you would think that, but that's essentially something I've done, so allow me to offer some insight that might make things sound more understandable to you.
First, I don't treat this site as really much of a "tickling website". I think I mostly suffer inertia for posting elsewhere. I'm almost exclusively on GenDisc or P&R. Once in a blue moon I make a foray elsewhere, but generally, this is just a place for me to interject in conversations, yammer on about politics or find some neat new thing on the internet.
Secondly, when someone you love passes, and all immediate family is together and informed (so there's no real obligation to call anyone immediately), there's a span when you feel a conflicted need for catharsis, for expression, but also for detachment. I didn't want to call my friends. I didn't want to break down and cry. I didn't want to make a big emotional show. I didn't want to feel all that right then -- all those things that crying and the consolations of friends on the phone or in person brings. I didn't want that. I just wanted it to be out there -- to share a thought, but not have to engage. So I made a brief statement here and in my blog.
These are the freedoms we're offered with the arrival of new mediums of communication, and I think people will become accustomed to what they would otherwise consider odd, or "pretty fucked up" expressions when they become more at ease with using the mediums as part of their everyday life, and when they're faced with a totally new and powerful experience.
When faced with such a circumstance yourself, you might find you do things you would ordinarily think odd, but for you, in that moment, they are perfectly natural. That's often the reaction to new experiences -- new responses.
So, STU, I understand your thought, but I also know that for me, my expression here was appropriate, natural, healthy, and what I needed at the time. I personally think the things one does in the wake of a loved one's death usually require no justification, but for others to better understand the whys and wherefores, and so you needn't question those who act similarly in the future, I offer the above.
