porcelaindoll2
2nd Level Violet Feather
- Joined
- Jan 22, 2009
- Messages
- 7,291
- Points
- 48
I asked NEST roomie if it was okay to share this experience and he gave me the okay. I learned a lot from it and I feel others can too.
So hopefully we all know what a safe word is and why they are important. Encase you don't here is a definition and you gotta love Urban Dictionary!
Safe word-In BDSM community, a word (usually irrelevant and strange in the context of the sexual situation) agreed by the participating parties to cease the activity. This is so that the submissive partner(s) can say "stop" and "no" as often as they want during the session and use the safe word when they actually mean it.
Top: *whip whip*
Bottom: Ouch, no, stop, please stop ... FISHSTICKS!
Top: Huh?
Bottom: Dammit, that's our safe word - now seriously, fishsticks!
Roomie and I had both discussed safe words before and during NEST. We both knew safe words were important to have and that they should be honored. We hate asshole doms/dommes that don't pay attention to them. Not saying either one of us couldn't become pretty sadistic, but if one of us safe worded we stopped. We decided to use yellow for slow down or give a break and red for stop completely.
Now sadly when I first learned what safe words were I didn't equate them with safety. I felt that safe wording meant I was weak and I was giving up. I didn't want to give my top the satisfaction of knowing he or she won. I wanted to win, by him just giving up. Sadly me not safe wording when I should has caused some problems which is where this story comes in.
It was Sat. night at NEST and roomie and I had gone back to our room. I think we were sitting on the bed and playfully tickling each other back and forth(Hooray for switches!). Well at some point I told him to get me into a hog tie. I had told him it was my favorite position. I saw the little sadistic grin on his face and he proceeded to tie me up. I was laying face down, so I couldn't see very much. I think he let my lay there a while. Anticipation can be a bitch and at some point he tickled me. I'm a hyper sensitive person and I think he was having fun with that knowledge. He pretty much attacked me everywhere and I was going crazy. I think I said stop and he said it would if I just said the word. Well I was being a stubborn bitch that night and refused. I had a lot of tools and I had bought a pinwheel at Sexplatorium in Philly. I had to take roomie there because he had never seen a toy shop and that one is high class. Well god do pinwheels tickle! roomie was relentless and I was still being stubborn. I think he also did some bastinado and spanking with his hands or my riding crop. He finally realized he needed to stop and I don't recall safe wording. This when the scary part that happened that scared roomie. I got nauseated and I started shaking uncontrollably. I felt horrible and roomie quickly wrapped his arms around me. He asked if I was okay and I was so scared. I told him I didn't know what was going on. He asked if he should go get help and dumb me said no. I realized now he probably should have gone to a DM. All I wanted to do was sleep and he wouldn't let me. He was worried I would black out. Hr made me drink some water and eventually he wrapped his arms around me and let me sleep and this why safe words are important and there for a reason. I'm slowly learning my lesson and this isn't the first time I've scared a ler. One time I actually passed out.
So hopefully we all know what a safe word is and why they are important. Encase you don't here is a definition and you gotta love Urban Dictionary!
Safe word-In BDSM community, a word (usually irrelevant and strange in the context of the sexual situation) agreed by the participating parties to cease the activity. This is so that the submissive partner(s) can say "stop" and "no" as often as they want during the session and use the safe word when they actually mean it.
Top: *whip whip*
Bottom: Ouch, no, stop, please stop ... FISHSTICKS!
Top: Huh?
Bottom: Dammit, that's our safe word - now seriously, fishsticks!
Roomie and I had both discussed safe words before and during NEST. We both knew safe words were important to have and that they should be honored. We hate asshole doms/dommes that don't pay attention to them. Not saying either one of us couldn't become pretty sadistic, but if one of us safe worded we stopped. We decided to use yellow for slow down or give a break and red for stop completely.
Now sadly when I first learned what safe words were I didn't equate them with safety. I felt that safe wording meant I was weak and I was giving up. I didn't want to give my top the satisfaction of knowing he or she won. I wanted to win, by him just giving up. Sadly me not safe wording when I should has caused some problems which is where this story comes in.
It was Sat. night at NEST and roomie and I had gone back to our room. I think we were sitting on the bed and playfully tickling each other back and forth(Hooray for switches!). Well at some point I told him to get me into a hog tie. I had told him it was my favorite position. I saw the little sadistic grin on his face and he proceeded to tie me up. I was laying face down, so I couldn't see very much. I think he let my lay there a while. Anticipation can be a bitch and at some point he tickled me. I'm a hyper sensitive person and I think he was having fun with that knowledge. He pretty much attacked me everywhere and I was going crazy. I think I said stop and he said it would if I just said the word. Well I was being a stubborn bitch that night and refused. I had a lot of tools and I had bought a pinwheel at Sexplatorium in Philly. I had to take roomie there because he had never seen a toy shop and that one is high class. Well god do pinwheels tickle! roomie was relentless and I was still being stubborn. I think he also did some bastinado and spanking with his hands or my riding crop. He finally realized he needed to stop and I don't recall safe wording. This when the scary part that happened that scared roomie. I got nauseated and I started shaking uncontrollably. I felt horrible and roomie quickly wrapped his arms around me. He asked if I was okay and I was so scared. I told him I didn't know what was going on. He asked if he should go get help and dumb me said no. I realized now he probably should have gone to a DM. All I wanted to do was sleep and he wouldn't let me. He was worried I would black out. Hr made me drink some water and eventually he wrapped his arms around me and let me sleep and this why safe words are important and there for a reason. I'm slowly learning my lesson and this isn't the first time I've scared a ler. One time I actually passed out.
