Why so serious?

[ticklebunny 2]

This is a very interesting thread and really what I got to say is that it varies it is a very personal and a very individual decision: I don't think it is really a matter of what would be "right or wrong" don't really think there is really a "right or wrong" answer to be honest. It all boils down to your emotional comfort level and your emotional trust level with those you feel comfortable sharing your tickle fetish with-to be honest don't really care for the word fetish, call it a tickle love, tickle kink, lets drop the word "fetish" the word "fetish gets such a bad rap.

I think it is easier to women to admit to family members or friends or others or those on the net or on this forum in general about their tickle kink mostly because-women early on are encouraged to be very social and communicative -if it is in the casual lighthearted tickle manner between acquaintances or friends. However I believe it can but it is not always-but it can be a major obstacle for a woman brought up with very strong moral and religious background and religious moral convictions-feel it can become a conflict vs how she feels, her sex drive, and her wants and desires and fantasies-if she has that right for herself to indulge in her tickle desires and tickle fantasies and sexual wants and sexual desires, indulge in her sexual fantasies that may or may not involve tickling or not.

If this is the case I think it is really rough for a woman brought up in a strict religious moral social background-think it would be rough for her to "come out of the tickle closet" to her family, friends, others, the net, and especially also other members here on the forum. Not because she has done something morally wrong and not because she is ashamed of her tickle kink-but because she might have been taught that sex and also that tickling or any flirtatious or playful sensual touch or anything sexual or affectionate outside and before marriage was wrong and not a good thing to do. So getting to the point: I do think that in this case scenario-woman of moral strong convictions and raised in a religious background-would have a very difficult time confessing "coming out of the tickle closet."

However in general if it be women that were not taught and not shown that sex was dirty and not shown that tickling and being affectionate and flirtatious and sexual before marriage-then I think these women would have a easier time not as rough coming to grips with identifying each their own sexual desires and sexual fantasies, whether these involved tickling or not. So think it would be relatively easier for these women to eventually "come out of the tickle closet" share tickle kink with whoever these women felt comfortable sharing it with-whether that be family and friends, or not family and friends, but only select close few friends and whoever those people might be.

I do think that men could have a really rough time "coming out of the tickle closet" because in general men are raised to be strong, tough, and macho, and always are shown and seem to be taught to always have to be in control and responsible and a provider for others and help others, making love and tickling involves getting in touch with one's feelings and learning what your partner loves and what works and what doesn't -giving each other pleasure, giving their partner pleasure. And I am not saying it would be rough for the guy to learn what makes a woman feel good and make a woman happy and feel pleasure, that is not what I am saying.

I mean I think it would be rough because tickling involves feelings and sensations-pleasurable and feels good and great-might be hard for men to ask for what they want when it comes to want for love and intimacy-lovemaking, especially tickling. Since tickling seems to not be so mainstreamed in vanilla world...when it does get mentioned seems more socially understood and accepted if a woman confesses wanting this sweeter gentler approach to playfulness, intimacy, and lovemaking-giving pleasure.
Might be hard for guys to "come out of the tickle closet" because of this-designed and taught to be responsible, be tough, strong, and be the one that helps others and puts his wants and needs aside to help others, help provide for his partner, or his partner and family in many cases.

Not always the case but it is what I have noticed, women with moral strong convictions and strong religious background very tough for them to admit to tickle desires, tickle fantasies, and tickle wants, sexual wants and needs in general, not always but many times I have noticed. For women in general that had the luxury of not having this emotional moral hangup or other emotional hangups with intimacy and letting others in, not have trouble with defining what is right and wrong on how far to go ...tickling and sex... relatively don't have as much of a rough time with defining and going after their tickle and sexual desires and wants and needs and fantasies, seize them and make them theirs.

Men in general tend to have trouble receiving pleasure and feel good sensations because of upbringing of constantly being told and taught and shown and drilled in their head to be the provider, breadwinner, and be the one that helps others, and to be responsible and give and give and give to others, many times to sacrifice one's self wants and self desires, and self fantasies, constant stress and conflict of having to know and do what is right and wrong...that doesn't leave much time to learn what feels good and feels great-likely at times not always but can-make them feel they don't deserve or don't need love and affection- or those with tickle kink-don't need tickling or lovemaking or sex as much as women-since many have a rough time with intimacy and might likely have a hard time receiving being tickled and pleasured-woman is giving and he is just having to receive and can not give back...at her mercy-tickle and make feel good and give tickle bliss and pleasure.

This is what I have noticed.

 

[Oblesklk]

I've only recently (Saturday recently) stepped outside the tickle closet,

Congratulations 🙂 It's a bit like jumping out of a plane; a great experience if the parachute opens.

I just wondered if that was the reason many boys (lets say males and females from now on - saying boys sounds a bit weird) had issues with opening up and talking to somebody, particularly when males have a tendency to mock. Telling a 'girl' friend would they always be more understanding and accepting? And for that matter would a female feel comfortable telling a 'male' friend (who was not into their scene) about their interest?

That's a good question. For context, I've told in order:

My wife (girlfriend at the time)
My parents
My platonic girlfriend

So as noted above, it just depends on who you break it to. I wouldn't broadcast it on a T-shirt and walk down a mall, because that would be weird to me. And I wouldn't broadcast it to my guy friends, because that would be a breach of existing etiquette. If I did, it wouldn't be the end of the world, it just would be bizarre, an absolutely unsolicited disclosure.

The first time I outted myself, I told my girlfriend (has since been upgraded to spouse) for obvious reasons. She was, and is, very accepting. She'd been tickled almost constantly by her various family members, so it was normal to her. In fact, I think the string of tickling fetishishism is actually stronger in her family than my own, which is unusual. Which leads me to...

I told my parents second. By my mid 20s, I had compiled an enormous collection of research on the nature of fetishism, attachment, and development of fetuses and infants. I was curious of my own origins, and found there to be precious little research on the topic. Good research, anyway. Even in the professional journals, there seemed to be too many variants of "zomg some guys like shoes lolz." So I drafted my own research. I won't get into that here, but suffice to say I wanted to talk to my parents about it, to get an idea of the sexual history in the family. If you're going to do research in this area, one of the first things you need to consider is nature versus nurture. So I did. Some more context...my parents graduated high school in 1969 and my mom was a hippie in California during that time. So there wasn't anything I could bring up sexually that she's probably either experienced firsthand or knew girlfriends that experienced it. So sex just wasn't taboo. And my parents have always trusted my judgment. So they know if I'm bringing up weird subjects out of the blue (like tickling fetishes), there's a good reason for it. I came out to them, and inquired what other known behaviors had been observed in the family. And oddly enough, as aluded to above, the probability of tickling fetishism and fetishistic behavior was actually quite a bit stronger on my wife's side of the family than my own. Anyway, long story short it wasn't weird after I told them. I have a good relationship with them. If I didn't, or if my upbringing would have signaled a weird outcome to outting myself, I obviously would not have proceded.

Third time I told my female friend. She had shared with me her bisexual tendencies, which would sometimes flare up, and sometimes go away. She couldn't tell anyone because she came from a family where that wasn't going to fly. So we confide those kinds of things all the time as situation warrants it. It is nice.

But to your original point, harry1000, I think it generally be easier for a woman to come out than a guy. If a woman has a kink, it's generally perceived as sexy, cute, h4wt. If a guy has a kink, depending on what it is and how he handles it, he could just as easily be seen as a creep, a perv, obsessive or whathaveyou. Absolute generalizations, of course, all of which can be refuted easily enough. It's simply casual observation from mainstream American eyes.