Your epic kitchen failures.

[Bugman]

Post 'em here folks, and let's all have a laugh. I'll start with two examples, the first one posted to my blog a week or so ago.

I don't eat hamburgers all that often anymore, but last week I had a craving for a nice juicy burger. My stove is a gas model, so I fire up a burner and set the pan on it while getting the patty ready. All is going according to plan so far.

While my burger is sizzling I get the condiments and sides ready. Looking things over, it seemed like a good idea to turn the flame up just a bit. I went a bit too far though, and said pan burst into flames. I grabbed the pan and headed for the front door but then said no Bug, we need water, quick. Rushing into the bathroom I held the pan in the tub, turning the water on full blast. No damage I'm happy to say, and no I didn't get burned.

The next tale of kitchen woe occurred last year. I bought a juicy T-bone steak and since I don't have an outdoor grill I planned on broiling it. After putting it in the oven I says to myself self, we can take a quick shower then enjoy our steak. Well, no Bug, wrong. I step out of the shower dripping wet to the wailing sound of the smoke alarm, make my way to the kitchen and turn off the stove. My apartment was filled with smoke so I opened the front window and door, pointed a 20" box fan in that direction and cleared the air. I was expecting to see the fire department show up but I guess no one noticed.

I should stick with carry out and delivery..

 

[Leo tickles]

I tried to make hamburgers once. They turned out to be meat wads. As in, giant wads of meat. They were good though. 😀

Since then, I have learned to buy frozen hamburgers and just fry them instead of molding my own burgers. Better yet, I figured out why BK is called BK, they don't make meat wads.

 

[milagros317]

Having put vegetable oil in a pan and gotten it boiling hot, I then tossed in the filet of fish that I intended to fry. Tossed, as in vigorously enough to splash boiling oil onto my arm. 😱 😱 It took two weeks for the second degree burns to heal.

This was back in 1973, but I still remember the pain of the boiling oil.

 

[Gothika]

once when i was drunk i was cooking and cannot remember how but it started on fire and it was a greese fire and i tryed to put it out with water lol

 

[Bugman]

Having put vegetable oil in a pan and gotten it boiling hot, I then tossed in the filet of fish that I intended to fry. Tossed, as in vigorously enough to splash boiling oil onto my arm. 😱 😱 It took two weeks for the second degree burns to heal.

This was back in 1973, but I still remember the pain of the boiling oil.

An epic fail no doubt, but there is nothing funny about second degree burns . 😱

once when i was drunk i was cooking and cannot remember how but it started on fire and it was a greese fire and i tryed to put it out with water lol

I'd expect no less from you when sober. 😛

 

[Gothika]

An epic fail no doubt, but there is nothing funny about second degree burns . 😱



I'd expect no less from you when sober. 😛

lol u know me so well 😛

 

[Backstep]

I learned from Good Eats that beer and wine supposedly have little alcohol to burn when used in cooking, so at most a little flame sputs up when added to a hot pan.

I was making fish two years ago and thought I'd add some white wine to deglaze. I killed the heat just to be on the safe side and added the wine... only to be greeted with a column of fire that singed the underside of my built in microwave, set off the fire alarm and spattered hot oil everywhere.

The fish was okay, but cleaning took quite a while. Remember, guys, Alton Brown isn't always right!

 

[Saeria]

The sad thing is I have a PICTURE of this! So maybe it's not indoors, but fail all the same.

 

[Gothika]

The sad thing is I have a PICTURE of this! So maybe it's not indoors, but fail all the same.

lol i remember that my love

 

[Bugman]

lol i remember that my love

You two together, with fire involved?

 

[Gothika]

You two together, with fire involved?

yuppers 😛

 

[Bugman]

yuppers 😛

What's really sad is, you probably ate them anyway. 😛

 

[Gothika]

What's really sad is, you probably ate them anyway. 😛

i think we did lol 😛

 

[Bugman]

i think we did lol 😛

For some reason I'm not surprised... 😛

 

[3xPIN]

I work in a deli. I couldn't begin to tell you how many faux pas I committed in the past nine and half years. Suffice to say:

Ever seen inside your own thumb?

DON'T!