Your views on Corporal Punishment.

[Deleted member 66627]

Atop the fact that Ru and I always seem to piggyback off each other with threads; I've been reading the replies in his thread and was surprised due to the way the conversation swung, that no one thought to turn it into a separate discussion.

As of 2008, Corporal Punishment as been legally banned in 23 countries. Do you agree with this? Do you view CP as no way to teach something?

Obviously CP is not only used in reference to parenting. It's clearly well-used in the BDSM community (more so the D/s). It prides itself upon it almost, as a way to make certain a sub or slave does not disrespect a Dom/me or err again.

Because it's being inflicted in such manner onto grown adults, does that make it any better or worse?

I, personally, lean more towards the side of not pausing to spank my son if he's truly been out of line. I don't ever do it just because I feel a need to assert a form of authority unless absolutely needed. I grew up with that as a form of punishment and looking back on it now, I probably deserved it.

I'm strongly against forms of punishment or discipline that are inflicted for no good reason whatsoever, or carry the potential to severely hurt a child.

In reference to the D/s community's use of CP; I wholly support it's practices.

 

[BellaRisa]

I think you know how I feel about it in regards to BDSM; if you're not sure, ask Adam

I don't need to hit a little kid to teach them anything, and I have 21 years of training and experience in childcare to support my feelings on the subject. BUT, parents who do spank (SPANK, not abuse) and are still loving and awesome parents can raise loving and awesome kids 🙂

 

[xionking]

If the bum smack is out of love for the kid, then go for it.

-Xionking

 

[General Zod]

In some ways,I feel it is needed I grew up with corporal punishment When I got spanked,it was always on the butt,and not real hard Well,I guess to a child it felt hard I was wearing clothes as well


If a parent,or any adult smacks a bare butt of a child,that is flat out wrong

As someone who received corporal punishment,it did not want to make ne commit crimes as I grew up I never believed in that excuse

However,it seems a lot of people go overboard on corporal punishment Like hitting a child too hard,or causing blood to be drawn

In my day,we got our mouths washed out with soap if a child cursed usually the parents would curse while washing our mouths out with soap

I feel parents need to set an example for proper behavior before punishing a child

Children often imitate what they see Why should they get spanked for it? But then I think most adults are idiots

 

[Deleted member 66627]

I don't need to hit a little kid to teach them anything, and I have 21 years of training and experience in childcare to support my feelings on the subject. BUT, parents who do spank (SPANK, not abuse) and are still loving and awesome parents can raise loving and awesome kids 🙂

In all honesty, I had to stop myself a few times in making this thread so I wouldn't go off and try to justify myself ten ways from Sunday, so people wouldn't think I was some monster because I have spanked my son. 🙂

 

[General Zod]

In all honesty, I had to stop myself a few times in making this thread so I wouldn't go off and try to justify myself ten ways from Sunday, so people wouldn't think I was some monster because I have spanked my son. 🙂

You are not a monster CL 🙂

One more thing

If anyone thinks they need to spank their child,they need to calm down some Who among us can think and act clearly when they are angry?

 

[xionking]

Corporal Punishment----->smacking you're kid----->bdsm..........



....where's the consistency?

-Xionking

 

[sasaxrah]

I saw this documentary-style TV show, I think it was called "Principal's Office." There was a principal in another area of the country that legally offered spanking instead of Saturday detention. It was bizarre.

I don't have kids, but I was never spanked as a kid. I tend to assume that I wouldn't do it to my future children.

 

[Bugman]

As long as it's not done in anger i don't think a little swat on the ass ever hurt anyone.It was common accepted pratice when i was growing up,even in school.

I don't know anyone who became a serial killer,rapist or bank robber because they got their rear end warmed up now and then.

 

[4Pawz]

I think a lot of it has to do with the delivery, the reason, and the manner in which it is received.

Personally, I've never had to use corporal punishment with my girls. All too often I think that is what they would prefer to what I use as punishment. My girls get the obnoxious punishments. I often use physical exertion, such as running, pushups, situps, squats (they hate those), etc. I won't make them exert themselves to the point they are injured, but I guarantee they are sore the next day. That or I make them write a letter of apology for whatever they did. These things work, so I stick with them. For their age, they are rather well-behaved and good girls. I'm not willing to tolerate much, but I expect them to act out once and a while. As long as they learn from it, all is good.

As for my parents, they did use corporal punishment. Yeah, it didn't work lol. It started out as a slap on the leg and escalated from there. The slaps didn't work, it just pissed me off. When that didn't work, the wooden spoon was introduced. Yeah, that hurt, but it didn't work either. Then the slap on the face, the full on beatings, etc. It ended when they broke a wooden spoon across my face and I just stood there. That was when the physical exertion started. But mine was at extreme levels, and it worked. The running in front of the truck; the pushups, running, situp combos; the squatting on the wall until I thought my legs were gonna explode; the ropes; the obstacle course, etc. Now that worked.

I think it depends on the kid, the parent, how the situations are handled, etc. Some kids benefit from it, others don't. Just gotta find what works without torturing the kid lol.

 

[AngelOfDarkness]

Again, never hit as a child, was as a teenager (still am when I get too mouthy). As for children, I am unsure if I would. It's said, "I won't do to my children what my parents did to me!" That can ALL change when you have children.

On BDSM, yes, absolutely, corporal can be an integral part to disciplining a slave/submissive. As for me, I should hope it would be used as a high-ranking punishment to really drive the point across to the submissive, such as "Disrespect me, you pay the ultimate price."

 

[arion30]

Im not a parent, so I probably don't have a right to an opinion but this is mine anyways.
The question is are the parents in control when they do it. I've known parents who do spank and parents who don't, and they are all good parents whom I've known. But if you chose to do so you need to make sure youre in control of yourself and not just doing it out of anger, for that the first step to abuse. And once you start down that path its hard to turn back. Always, Always make sure your in control of your anger when your disciplining your children.

 

[CrazyTickler]

I'm not a parent nor plan to be soon but my view are yes its needed. My late father once said referring to Corporal Punishment "It teaches the child cause an effect. So basically a spanking is saying if you do this kind of behavior than yo ass gonna hurt." so thats why I support Corporal Punishment.

 

[CarolinaTickler]

I think that corporal punishment is acceptable, but a lot of it really depends upon the context. There are a couple of things I guess I would take into account.

1. That spanking a child should never be done out of anger. Before spanking it would always be wise to take a timeout and cool off. I used to work with little kids and they always told us to remember that you are the big person and that you should take a moment to cool off if you need to.

2. If you are going to spank a child they should know why they are being spanked. If spanking is being used to correct a behavior the child needs to know what behavior should be changed.

3. A spanking shouldn't be used as a threat or scare tactic. My dad used to make us go outside and cut our own limb/switch. I think that is unneccessary and breeds an unhealthy fear.

4. How severe was the offense? I think there are somethings that can resolved with just a warning or possibly a timeout. I think it is important to evaluate situations on a case by case basis.

5. I think the most important thing is affirming to the child that you still love him/her after you have spanked them. It is good for the child to know that you disapprove of the behavior not of them.

I think spanking is an issue that every parent has to decide where they stand personally. If you don't feel comfortable spanking your child then don't do it, but if you believe it is a proper form of punishment then it should be used within reason.

 

[BellaRisa]

I'm not a parent nor plan to be soon but my view are yes its needed. My late father once said referring to Corporal Punishment "It teaches the child cause an effect. So basically a spanking is saying if you do this kind of behavior than yo ass gonna hurt." so thats why I support Corporal Punishment.

Having been in the childcare game forever plus being a mom for 11 yrs now, I have a bit of a different view on this; hitting doesn't really teach good consequences, because usually in this life no one hits you as a result of a transgression. I prefer to use my intelligence, and I find that consequences work WAY better with little ones when they actually fit the crime. From losing priviledges or possessions to incurring extra work around the house or school, whatever your child's currency may be. It even works with the two yr olds. That kind of discipline tends to make more sense to a child than causing them physical pain just because you can, I keep hoping as a species we'll evolve beyond that 🙂

 

[kis123]

I don't need to hit a little kid to teach them anything, and I have 21 years of training and experience in childcare to support my feelings on the subject. BUT, parents who do spank (SPANK, not abuse) and are still loving and awesome parents can raise loving and awesome kids 🙂

Thank you bella-I feel vindicated and think you know why! There was a spanking thread about two years ago that just imploded and was horrible. I almost left this forum over it. I'm sure you remember which one that was.

Crystal were you at my house yesterday???

I had an interesting conversation with my daughter yesterday. She finally realizes that everything I ever did was because I loved her and her brother. I did use corporal punishment during their upbringing, but I was never criticized by them for it and I damn sure didn't abuse them. Because of my son, we had many "visits" from social services. I passed every inspection and background check. I was never found to be abusive to my children-they are my heart and soul and my only reason to get out of bed most times; I'd never do anything to hurt or harm them. Her biggest past criticism was that I wasn't a permissive parent who doted on her every wish and whim like her friend's parents.

She vindicated me and thanked me for not giving her everything she wanted like her father did. She appreciated the discipline and reality checks I gave her. She even went as far to say that she was a rotten child and if I wasn't her mother, she'd probably be nothing as an adult. As horrible as that sounded, she was right and her statements are true.

I was physically and sexually abused as a kid so I had habits and horrible behaviors that I had to overcome. I used corporal punishment as discipline at times, but found out as 4paws has stated, that physical exertion was much more effective to get the point across. As they became teenagers, taking away priveleges was the most effective tool of all in getting their attention and discipling them.

This is a combo post so I apologize if I got a little sidetracked. Any mother who now has grown children knows what if feels like when your kids are appreciative of the efforts and sacrifices you made to get them where they presently are.

To the OP, I do believe in corporal punishment, but as a very last resort with thought and contemplation. No child should be beaten over nonsense like the remote is missing or they're in the way of the tv (yes, I got my arse beat for that). For those of you who don't use corporal punishment, I commend you and wish you were there when I was getting the crap beat outta' me.

 

[Sandrock74]

I don't think that corporals should be punished. They are just grunts. Hold the officers accountable.

 

[Goodieluver]

I was never hit once as a kid and was raised off three of the most violent(for their time) and bloody movies of all time. I turned out ok

Its called parents and values

 

[Goodieluver]

I don't think that corporals should be punished. They are just grunts. Hold the officers accountable.

What about the NCO's?

 

[BlackestLily]

I don't think I would/ could ever spank a child. I lost respect for my parents when it happened and grew away from them because it felt like they had no ideas and went back to an injuring method. And injure it did.

 

[tickledgirl]

I think you know how I feel about it in regards to BDSM; if you're not sure, ask Adam

I don't need to hit a little kid to teach them anything, and I have 21 years of training and experience in childcare to support my feelings on the subject. BUT, parents who do spank (SPANK, not abuse) and are still loving and awesome parents can raise loving and awesome kids 🙂

What she said!

If anyone thinks they need to spank their child,they need to calm down some Who among us can think and act clearly when they are angry?

What he said...a lot!

Apart from the very valid issues Bella raises, I think the best argument against spanking is that it's too darn easy to do it out of anger. That can get out of control in a hurry.

I also strongly think that corporal punishment should be limited to parents, not teachers. If you think spanking your kids is necessary or useful, then that's fine for you. (With the obvious caveats about abuse.) But I do not want a teacher hitting my kids, under any circumstances.

 

[Musicroxmysox]

I am not a fan of CP, just a personal preference. I don't hold it against others though as long as they continue to do it in a calm manner.

 

[ViperGTS]

Sometimes a kid needs to be popped in order to be put back in their place.

That's the short version. The long version is that there's a huge different between abuse and discipline, but the line between the two is nearly invisible.

If you strike your child in anger, because they did something wrong and it pissed you off, and you reacted in a disciplinary way by striking them, you just abused your child.

If your child did something wrong, it pissed you off, you sent them to their room, and half an hour later (or however long it took for you to no longer be angry) you call them out of their room to strike them as a form of discipline, making it clear as to WHY you're doing it, you just punished your child for doing something wrong.

Of course, in my opinion, corporal punishment is a step that should only be taken after scolding, grounding, taking of priveledges, and other less serious actions. And naturally, some things shouldn't be spanked for since they're not serious infractions.

But this is something that's different for everyone...and you'll never see me telling a parent what to do (unless it's obvious abuse or they obviously don't KNOW how to raise a child).

 

[Perduabo]

I agree that a swat on the rear now and then is perfectly acceptable.

HOWEVER....

bringing implements like belts and the like into the equation is simply barbaric I think. In my experiences dealing with children, speaking to them as equals in a frank, stern manner lets them know you are serious in what you say and that there are consequences to their actions. Grounding was highly effective for me as a kid. No need to hit those smaller and weaker than you, just makes you look like a neanderthal.

 

[Gothika]

i feel spanking a child is rong no matter what there is not reason in the world to spank a child people need to find some other ways to punish there child that is my oppinion on that it pisses me off when a parent spanks there child