I'm going to agree with the majority of the posters here:
How DARE you seek sexual enjoyment, gratification and fulfillment in your marriage?!!!
What the fucks the matter with you, you controlling inconsiderate asshole?!!! I mean, REALLY!!!!!!
You need to spend your married days being scolded, and told "how things are gonna be!"
What the hell is this "I want to be "happy" crap?
You tell me why your wife should TRY to satisfy you in bed....asshole!
.................................................................................................
JUSSSSTTTTT.............KIIIDDINGGG!!!!!!
I had to throw some humor in there to lighten up all the butt chewing you've been getting.
I'm going to totally side with your emotions here. Hell, I'll be extreme and say "Get a divorce." And tell her why. And then make it ugly.
But hopefully it all works out. This almost sounds like my marriage. My ex-wife was profoundly controlling, had serious control issues.
But damn, I could still tickle her every now and then! (She wasn't that ticklish.)
I think you may subconsciously are seeing the truth, that your wife has serious control issues, and maybe some narcissism there too.
The safe word thing is a great idea. If she refuses, you got problems.
I have my own questions:
-Do you make HER happy in bed?
-Does she make an effort to make YOU happy in bed?
A relationship is about compromise, but the best are not 50/50, it's 100/100. Both people can be totally happy, not just half way.
I use the clown fetish as a perfect example, ....because it's ridiculous. But if I found a hot girl, who was totally in love with me, I was totally in love with her, she was my perfect woman
.......but she had a clown fetish! She wanted me, her, both of us to dress up like clown, or some variation of that.
If she really, REALLY was attracted to me and wanted to marry me and love me forever......YEAH, I COULD WORK THIS OUT!
Most guys would be an asshole, or basically, focused on themselves, and say "I ain't dressing up as no fucking clown!"
...but I'd stop and say, "hmmm. I love pantyhose or stockings. I love tickling a girl in pantyhose or stockings. There's a lot of other things I love also, but those are the biggest.
If she wants to dress up as a clown, or wants me to in some way, fine, but she has to wear stockings that I like, and let me tickle her."
If she says "Hell yeah!!! Great!" and even runs off and puts on stockings right there,.......we're both off to a happy marriage and decades of white hot sex.
If she says "Hell no," I'll say, "Okay, fair is fair, ...I ain't dressing up as no fucking clown!"
At some point you have to ask yourself, "Why should I get to be satisfied? Why shouldn't I get to have a good time? Why is this always about her, and never ME?
Many women who are controlling have mastered the language, just like in politics, "He who controls the language, controls the argument."
She'll use a bunch of psycho babble on you, make you out to be some demented pervert. She'll say a marriage is about filling HER needs, and you "shouldn't be thinking of YOURSELF" all the time!
You should feel like the greatest man on Earth in a marriage. If she makes you feel an inch tall, you have serious problems.
(Obviously, same goes for a woman in a marriage. She should feel like the hottest woman on Earth. That's a great marriage. I've met many women in great marriages, and many in crappy ones.)
I mean, how long do you want to live being in an unsatisfied relationship, with someone who looks at you as having a "problem," just because you like tickling?!
This is the greatest question you need to answer for yourself.
....and to illuminate things further, I HATE being tickled too, honestly.
But If I met that mythical girl who was totally attracted to me, and I was attracted to her......hell yes she could tickle me!
NO, being tickled is not like being stabbed, kicked, or shit on. I mean....really!