am I the only one here who suspects this?

[Iggy pop]

Hi Iggy.....

Maybe part of the problem is my ignorance and naievety in regard to web interaction, and its probably not fair to paint all the guys here with the same lack of awareness.....at least in my case, thank goodness for ladies here who try to steer me in the right direction, give me good advice and advisory, and keep me from "crashing into the rocks" around here....

I have never visited a chat room, so I really don't know what goes on in there, but based on the descriptions here I don't know if its a particularly inviting place for interaction.....

Iggy, I don't want to feel that I have to go through some "web cam verification" process to confirm what seems to me to be my reasonable expectation that the person I am talking to is of the gender that they say they are.....

Due to the nature of the medium, it is not a "reasonable expectation" to automatically asume the person you are chatting online with is the gender they say they are. Some people are and some people are not. I am not suggesting that you try to "verify" every single person you meet, but you just have to be aware that there are a lot of men masquerading as women. I would advise before making an emotion investment in someone to attempt to verify that the person is acutally who they say they are. I don't think a webcam should only be used to verify someone, it can also lead to a more personal interaction experience.

If I made a thread here that asks men if they had any personal health experiences with, say, prostate or testicular cancer, and a TMF "male" responded with his own personal experiences, why would I have an" I don't really care if he is a true male, or some lady with a "male fantasy fetish" or some "immature prankster" attitude? Am I "intolerant" for expecting that the person I am communicating with be the gender that they say they are?

You should always take any response you receive here with a grain of salt. One thing you must never forget the online world is not the real world. I think if you really want to discuss extremely personal issues then talk to someone you know. Untill you meet someone in person, they are really still a stranger.

 

[Iggy pop]

There are TONS of them here hon~probably only the girls here have them nailed.
XOXO

I think the girls can spot them more easliy, but I've spotted many as well. Some are very obvious. On the otherhand, I think some are very good, and even the women have not spotted them.

 

[jaba]

..I am female and have not detected anything "strange" since I have been here. I haven.t been here long however, and have not gone into the chat room. I can usually tell by the way someone "speaks". Like the level of detail provided when chatting live. Can I ask how this is being detected?

Well tickles, in my case, I have no "proof" so to speak, and I do not visit the chat room where apparently such "posers" visit on occassion.....

But its just that there are times when I will read a certain post, and say "hmmmm....that is a strange response.....that's a weird post...particularily for a woman"....

And sometimes I will ask a lady friend about the post in question, and its funny, she will say, "I was just thinking the same thing about that same post"....

It's just situations like that make me wonder, and I thought I would bring up the topic to see if others have had similar experiences.....

And ladies pick up on these "poser clues" far faster than I ever do.....

 

[jaba]

Due to the nature of the medium, it is not a "reasonable expectation" to automatically asume the person you are chatting online with is the gender they say they are.

Iggy.....

If I see a member with the screen name "pink lady Tiffany", or "Princess Ashley" and her bio says she is "female", and you believe that it is "unreasonable" for me to have a "reasonable expectation" and to "automatically assume" that the member is a "female"....

Then I guess we have to respectfully agree to disagree......

 

[baby]

I'm watching this thread for a while now and can't help but asking myself if someone as credulous and obviously naive as me should really be talking to people online. I also can't help but wondering now, if some of the guys I chatted with who asked me to call them only did that to verify that I am truly female.
I really appreciate this thread, it got me thinking...

 

[nenezinho]

Unfortunately, everything is possible on the internet.

I´ve been surfing since 98 and it´s now almost 7 years. I´ve met everything! It´s a fact there´s lots of crazy people out there and we must assume that simply for being here on this forum there´s an increased chance of finding crazy people.

Lets admit, the regular vanilla guy or girl wont surf the net looking for a fetish site.

But these are the pros and cons of this world. Being a guy (and not small) I feell more relaxed with it. I had my problems with crazy guys around the net but at most I only got angry. Now for a girl I think you should really take care and be extremely cautious! Take your time knowing the persson no matter if it´s a female or male. Use your instincts to the fullest and try to get as much evidence as possible of who the persson is, what he/she does, where she lives, before you go for meeting.

Actually, I´ve only found 1 girl through this site....yeahh seems there´s not many portuguese around or the girls are all really careful. The only girl from Portugal I´ve seen posting around here, I can assure it´s a girl as I already checked it 🙂 Still she as so few posts I believe very few members have noticed her.

This is all to say that we can find great friends here, but we should allways be carefull, specially you girls! Take care 😉

 

[LeeAllure]

As a person who can't stand "online ticking" (an oxymoron if I ever heard one),
knowing that I'm going to be going to meetings, and non-meetings where
other ticklers exist, I'd rather just be the very best me I can be (and really,
there are no better) which includes telling the truth about myself, in form,
ideas, and attitude. I figure that there are people who will like me, who I'll
like, and I'd rather have that there from the start, than have to get over
any misconceptions or outright falsehoods.

That being said, I have to agree that the men who pretend to be women are
usually easy to spot, as they NEVER talk like women do, at all. They're far
pushier, they're far more aggressive when it comes to talking about fetishes,
and they just talk.. differently. It's like men who crossdress (Unless the're
Thai - they seem to have it down seamlessly (yes, that's a sterotype)) who
think that people can't tell that they're men (or were men). There's usually
just something off about the way that they walk, talk, dress, or act.

Lee


P.S. Drew & Maniac - I dislike talking on the phone enough, so that I'd decline. Unless I'm confirming information, getting directions, or making
plans, I'd rather type it out. I like to keep my phone calls to under 1 min.
On the other hand, I'd be perfectly happy with someone calling my number
to hear my voicemail, if they were worried I wasn't a female, and I wanted
to talk with them in person, someday.

 

[spareme]

interesting

I am new and naive, I don't know if I would recognisize a "wolf in sheeps clothing" I am too slow to enter the chat room and the people that I have met here through pm's seem to be very nice. I have talked to some on the phone and met some in person. Don't people who pretend to be others know that they'll be caught eventually............. Maybe not, I do notice an amazing amount of new people joining all the time, I guess fraud is to be expected. Good Luck............I am female

 

[jaba]

Unfortunately, everything is possible on the internet.

I´ve been surfing since 98 and it´s now almost 7 years. I´ve met everything! It´s a fact there´s lots of crazy people out there and we must assume that simply for being here on this forum there´s an increased chance of finding crazy people.

Lets admit, the regular vanilla guy or girl wont surf the net looking for a fetish site.

You're right, nenezinho, everything is possible....

But there is also a little term called "probability", and I am not cynical enough (yet) to not hold a reasonable expectation that a person who purports to be female on this forum is "probably" female....

And I may be admittedly naieve, but when I do become so cynical about this place that I cannot assume that there is a "greater probability" that someone who has a female screen name and bio is in fact "female", then its probably time for me to leave......why hang around a place that has a high probability of "female imposters"?

But, I still hold the assumption (as incredible as that may sound to some) and reasonable expectation that most folks here (most) who have female screen names and bios are in fact, female...... without the benefit of webcam verification.....

And there may be an "increased chance of finding crazy people on this forum", as you say, but I personally don't believe that is true, I do not know....have you walked around Los Angeles? I think the "probability" of finding "crazies" is much higher outside our little "fetish fraternity" here........ 😀

 

[tickles]

I agree LeeAllure.....I think I can tell when I am talking to a male by the "way" she/he talks....so I will trust my gut....

 

[storyteller]

Wait a minute......We were looking foreward to YOU coming to California for the Rose
Parade.... 😎 😎


I bet your giggle is sweeter "music" than the marching band.......

Wish I had been able to go! Don't honestly know how someone else would rate my giggles or various laughters, but absolutely appreciate the compliment!

Now, back to the issue at hand. Read the recent posts. Still entertained, informed, and appreciate all warnings given. Have a minor issue with one thing said.

Lets admit, the regular vanilla guy or girl wont surf the net looking for a fetish site.

Not to be too disagreeable, but I imagine most people who know me, including myself--so far, any way--would consider me to be fairly vanilla, yet I surfed the net looking for tickle sites. I was doing research, as posted somewhere on TMF previously...I think. A guy I know is a foot and tickling fetishist. I found this interesting, wanted to know more, found TMF, liked what I read, and joined. As also stated more than once, I'm still a "virgin" when it comes to tickling as part of a fetish. Maybe that will change in 2007--maybe it would have if I'd gone to the Rose Bowl parade! Man, if I'd only known this time last year... (or , not sure which is more appropriate )

Okay, really back to the topic at hand. While I understand to some extent why people would pretend to be something they're not at any given time, it seems a tough game to keep up. Someone inevitably spots the holes and contradictions in whatever lies we tell, especially if we promote them too often or have to keep them going. Dangerous game to play, even just for ourselves. It's often hard enough for each of us to know who we are without throwing subterfuge into the mix. Why complicate our lives more?

If someone out there who's reading this is successfully achieving a "Tootsie" or other such gender switch, good for you. Hope you're learning something about yourself and the gender you're pretending to be. But, you should know that if discovered and revealed as a liar, you'll probably be branded a liar in all you do. Like I said, it's a dangerous game.

 

[jaba]

I agree LeeAllure.....I think I can tell when I am talking to a male by the "way" she/he talks....so I will trust my gut....

In my experience, ladies sure seem to pick up on the "strange vibes" a little quicker...

 

[drew70]

As a person who can't stand "online ticking" (an oxymoron if I ever heard one),
knowing that I'm going to be going to meetings, and non-meetings where
other ticklers exist, I'd rather just be the very best me I can be (and really,
there are no better) which includes telling the truth about myself, in form,
ideas, and attitude. I figure that there are people who will like me, who I'll
like, and I'd rather have that there from the start, than have to get over
any misconceptions or outright falsehoods.

That being said, I have to agree that the men who pretend to be women are
usually easy to spot, as they NEVER talk like women do, at all. They're far
pushier, they're far more aggressive when it comes to talking about fetishes,
and they just talk.. differently. It's like men who crossdress (Unless the're
Thai - they seem to have it down seamlessly (yes, that's a sterotype)) who
think that people can't tell that they're men (or were men). There's usually
just something off about the way that they walk, talk, dress, or act.

Lee


P.S. Drew & Maniac - I dislike talking on the phone enough, so that I'd decline. Unless I'm confirming information, getting directions, or making
plans, I'd rather type it out. I like to keep my phone calls to under 1 min.
On the other hand, I'd be perfectly happy with someone calling my number
to hear my voicemail, if they were worried I wasn't a female, and I wanted
to talk with them in person, someday.

Hi Lee,

After re-reading what I posted, it occurred to me that my words might suggest that anybody not willing to talk on the phone must be a poser, which wasn't what I intended. I've met women online who did not want to talk on the phone, but turned out to be as real and feminine as you. It probably didn't come across well in my previous post, but the incident I described was the only time I ever made this request/demand. It was basically a hunch about this particular person, based on the very things you describe, pushy about the fetish, etc. The difference between the way "she" responded and the way I imagine you would respond is that she initially said she'd "love" to talk on the phone if not for _(insert excuse here)_; then later back-pedaled. You, on the other hand would have said from the beginning you prefer not to talk on the phone.

Hope this makes sense. 🙂

Drew

(PS: I'm really going to miss you at Spenser's this weekend. 🙁 )

 

[LeeAllure]

WHAT?! I was just in DC last weekend - Wish I'd have known!

Lee

 

[lespieds]

Happens on most forums. Some people mis-represent themselves.
My name - lespieds French for "The feet".
Me - I am male.

Usually the ones posing as females tend to ask more of sexual questions.
Not hard to figure out really.

And for the "phone" thing to hear the voice and hear the gender, why not use the voice features of a messenger?
msn, yahoo, skype, all the big ones have it.
It is free.

 

[Capnmad]

knowing that I'm going to be going to meetings, and non-meetings where
other ticklers exist, I'd rather just be the very best me I can be (and really,
there are no better) which includes telling the truth about myself, in form,
ideas, and attitude. I figure that there are people who will like me, who I'll
like, and I'd rather have that there from the start, than have to get over
any misconceptions or outright falsehoods.

Well said.

Yeah. There's gender bending. Maybe for fun, maybe for chaos, maybe as an outlet for people. Thinking about the structure of most "cyber-tickling" fantasies, it would be easy enough for, say, a homosexual male 'ler to pose as a hetero female 'ler, and attracting a hetero male 'lee, the scenario could play out for both sides more or less without a hitch... The 'ler is mostly in control of the fantasy, and can say what he/she is "doing" to the 'lee, and no inconvenient dissonance need take place (describing or discussing the anatomy of the 'ler wouldn't take place, for example, because he/she's not the subject) -- if the male 'lee remains oblivious, it can remain a fulfilling fantasy for both parties. I suppose the same might happen with a woman posing as a man, but I don't know... I've heard in some corners that the TMF isn't exactly "homosexual friendly" (and I'll leave it to those of said persuasion to decide), but clearly, at least the bulk of the material here is hetero targetted. That being the case, and given the challenge of numbers with the ratio of hetero- to homosexuals probably reflecting near the societal norm -- homosexuals only counting for a max of 12% of the population, by last count I saw -- I imagine there must be some real need there, and sometimes resorting to such tactics may help fill that need.

It's only a guess of mine as to why, and hardly the only available sort of explanation, but a possible one to add to the list.

 

[Iggy pop]

Iggy.....

If I see a member with the screen name "pink lady Tiffany", or "Princess Ashley" and her bio says she is "female", and you believe that it is "unreasonable" for me to have a "reasonable expectation" and to "automatically assume" that the member is a "female"....

Then I guess we have to respectfully agree to disagree......

I (a man with a penis) could sign up to this forum, and sign up with the name, "Ticklish Stephanie" and in my bio state that I am female. This can all be done very easily. All I can say is that you have to be aware it happens and that happens often.

 

[Iggy pop]

I'm watching this thread for a while now and can't help but asking myself if someone as credulous and obviously naive as me should really be talking to people online. I also can't help but wondering now, if some of the guys I chatted with who asked me to call them only did that to verify that I am truly female.
I really appreciate this thread, it got me thinking...

Females do not pretend to be males as often as the reverse, and when they do it is usually to remain hidden and protect their identity. Women, however, have a whole batch of other problems. Not all the guys here are good guys, and they're some crazies here. I don't want to scare you from chatting online, but do not give out any personal information such as address, real name, etc. untill you have extreme confidence in the person you are talking to.

 

[Iggy pop]

Well said.

Yeah. There's gender bending. Maybe for fun, maybe for chaos, maybe as an outlet for people. Thinking about the structure of most "cyber-tickling" fantasies, it would be easy enough for, say, a homosexual male 'ler to pose as a hetero female 'ler, and attracting a hetero male 'lee, the scenario could play out for both sides more or less without a hitch... The 'ler is mostly in control of the fantasy, and can say what he/she is "doing" to the 'lee, and no inconvenient dissonance need take place (describing or discussing the anatomy of the 'ler wouldn't take place, for example, because he/she's not the subject) -- if the male 'lee remains oblivious, it can remain a fulfilling fantasy for both parties. I suppose the same might happen with a woman posing as a man, but I don't know... I've heard in some corners that the TMF isn't exactly "homosexual friendly" (and I'll leave it to those of said persuasion to decide), but clearly, at least the bulk of the material here is hetero targetted. That being the case, and given the challenge of numbers with the ratio of hetero- to homosexuals probably reflecting near the societal norm -- homosexuals only counting for a max of 12% of the population, by last count I saw -- I imagine there must be some real need there, and sometimes resorting to such tactics may help fill that need.

It's only a guess of mine as to why, and hardly the only available sort of explanation, but a possible one to add to the list.

I agree. Although I think the case above is only small percentage of the "gender benders"

 

[steph]

Oh, I agree Iggy. Some here are VERY good at pretending, if nothing else than by their longetivity on forum. Others are just a huge insult to everyone's intelligence.

And Jaba~will see you soon to discuss further...😉
XOXO

I think the girls can spot them more easliy, but I've spotted many as well. Some are very obvious. On the otherhand, I think some are very good, and even the women have not spotted them.

 

[ChosenofMystra]

Well said.

Yeah. There's gender bending. Maybe for fun, maybe for chaos, maybe as an outlet for people. Thinking about the structure of most "cyber-tickling" fantasies, it would be easy enough for, say, a homosexual male 'ler to pose as a hetero female 'ler, and attracting a hetero male 'lee, the scenario could play out for both sides more or less without a hitch... The 'ler is mostly in control of the fantasy, and can say what he/she is "doing" to the 'lee, and no inconvenient dissonance need take place (describing or discussing the anatomy of the 'ler wouldn't take place, for example, because he/she's not the subject) -- if the male 'lee remains oblivious, it can remain a fulfilling fantasy for both parties. I suppose the same might happen with a woman posing as a man, but I don't know... I've heard in some corners that the TMF isn't exactly "homosexual friendly" (and I'll leave it to those of said persuasion to decide), but clearly, at least the bulk of the material here is hetero targetted. That being the case, and given the challenge of numbers with the ratio of hetero- to homosexuals probably reflecting near the societal norm -- homosexuals only counting for a max of 12% of the population, by last count I saw -- I imagine there must be some real need there, and sometimes resorting to such tactics may help fill that need.

It's only a guess of mine as to why, and hardly the only available sort of explanation, but a possible one to add to the list.

I can't speak for everyone here, but I have most certainly done nothing of the sort. I am who I am, both on and off the forums and I wouldn't have it any other way. To be honest, I usually stay out of the chat room because I find a lot of the unknowns in there (unknown to me at least) to be somewhat aggressive, and I like to get to know people before I jump in talking about intimate details.

However, I kind of support your theory from personal experiance. I was in the chatroom once and someone with a female name (I won't say who out of respect for their privacy) began PM'ing me with the "tell-tale" signs that something may not have been very right about her. The oversexed attitude and overtly sexual questions and all that. I told "her" I was flattered, but gay and not interested in something like that. Wasn't a problem for "her" and "she" kept on pestering me until I got fed up and left the chatroom. Now, was this another homosexual male posing as a female for the reasons you gave? Could be, could be any number of reasons really. I didn't pursue it because I get very uncomfortable with aggressive people like that, and I had a feeling this person wasn't being completely honest with me about who they really were....and that's a big no no. If you can't be yourself, what then?

As for the TMF being unfriendly to homosexuals, again I can't speak for everyone but I've been welcomed with nothing but kindness and treated just like any other member of the forum. This particular site is really one of the more tolerant ones I've been a member of. Yes the bulk of its content is mainly hetero, that's alright with me; I come here to make friends and chat about many fine things 🙂

I really don't know where this is going, when I get rambling I tend to loose track (one of my glaring flaws lol 😀 ) Just wanted to add my $0.02 to what you said for no particular reason other than to add on to your theory. Hope that's alright.

Cheers!

 

[goddess_nemesis]

Been there done that! i wouldnt get into any serious chat with someone that wont talk on the phone. its easy to block their number so privacy is not an issue. bunch a phonies! 😡

Now, maniac, just because someone won't talk on the phone doesn't mean you shouldn't talk to them at all. You miss out on knowing some great people that way.

I don't like talking on the phone myself because I'm not much of a talker. And you've chatted with me once. You know full well that I'm a woman.

Some people do find it easier to chat online than on the phone. Sometimes people are even uncomfortable with talking on the phone. That doesn't mean they're a poser or that you should ignore them.

Though I do make it known to whoever wants to talk to me on the phone that I'm not much of a talker.

Overall, you just gotta trust your instincts if something or someone seems off.

 

[The Sean Man]

The usual post.....

"Hey guys....I'm (insert name here/usually with the word 'tickle' in it) and I LOVE to be tickled, especially on my feet or underarms (gee, shocker there). Feel free to IM me!"


They're almost always claim to be (according to their always VERY short profile) 21 years old, and a 'student'.



🙄

 

[maniactickler]

Now, maniac, just because someone won't talk on the phone doesn't mean you shouldn't talk to them at all. You miss out on knowing some great people that way.

I don't like talking on the phone myself because I'm not much of a talker. And you've chatted with me once. You know full well that I'm a woman.

Some people do find it easier to chat online than on the phone. Sometimes people are even uncomfortable with talking on the phone. That doesn't mean they're a poser or that you should ignore them.

Though I do make it known to whoever wants to talk to me on the phone that I'm not much of a talker.

Overall, you just gotta trust your instincts if something or someone seems off.

Im more or less referring to the fly by nights or people that only post once or twice. the regulars like you i have no problem with. now that being said, lets get back to eating some beans!

 

[jaba]

Could?

I (a man with a penis) could sign up to this forum, and sign up with the name, "Ticklish Stephanie" and in my bio state that I am female. This can all be done very easily. All I can say is that you have to be aware it happens and that happens often.

Iggy, my man, (and although we have not met, I think I am "reasonably" safe in assuming without benifit of webcam verification that you are, in fact, a man ).....

Of course you COULD sign up here as a female, and pretty easily.....you are right....

But c'mon.....I can walk into a bank, and the bank teller behind the counter COULD be a bank robber disguised as a bank teller! Of course such instances COULD occur, but why would I not have a "reasonable expectation" and "assume" that the person behind the counter is a bank teller, absent any other obvious clues of deceit?

Same situation here, in my opinion....absent a strange post, or weird thread by a person with a female screen name and bio, I usually assume that the person is probably actually female....I don't automatically assume that the person COULD be an imposter, if nothing in their post triggers my "radar"...

And I obviously don't have any proof, but I think I disagree with you that the impersonations happen "often" around here....were you the one that had the belief that "one third" of the "TMF females" here are "posers"?.....I don't know....that seems alarmingly high to me......and I don't think the numbers are nearly that high.....but I could be wrong, would not be the first time......