are girls mostly attracted to guys with a muscular body

[ndj101982]

I am just wondering lately if girls prefer going for guys who have a strong build, as opposed to a guy who is skinny or kind of lanky looking? I am 28 and weight 155, basically a string bean type of build without any muscle bulk. I noticed that girls like to flirt with me and tease me jokingly about being small in build, but when it comes to sexual attraction they always go for my friends with the bulkier bodies. I go to bars and clubs and the girls always go for the man with the tight shirt and arms that look like they're gonna pop outta the sleeves, while I don't get a single glance.

The thing that always cracked me up is that with the big muscles also typically comes a Big Ego. However, recently I've been asking girls the question and they all seem to agree that they like a guy who takes control. I have more of a laid back and joking type of personality. I am not the type to get into arguments or try to get tough with people. I guess girls don't seem to go for guys with my type of personality anymore. Unfortunately, I'm 5 foot 7, so all the muscle in the world isn't going to make me anymore intimidating so I am not about to run out to the gym and pack on muscle to try and look scary and confident to get a girl.

I just need to get an honest answer from some girls on here and know if my theory is true. If you girls had a choice between a small guy with a thin body or a guy who is totally "ripped" with muscles, which one are you gonna go out with?

 

[BellybTickler]

The Three C's dude: Confidence, Comedy, and Command Presence.

 

[Skipadeedoodah]

The Three C's dude: Confidence, Comedy, and Command Presence.

This is basically it. I tend to prefer guys who are taller, stronger, etc. But I have looked right past them and swooned over guys who are physically the exact opposite of what I normally am attracted to because of the things that are mentioned here - and confidence is the first step. Once you gain confidence the sense of humor and commanding presence will follow naturally. You just have to keep telling yourself that no matter what it is that you've got, there's a girl out there who wants it, whether you're skinny and awkward or short and chubby. And above all, confidence is the sexiest, most magnetic trait in the world.

 

[ndj101982]

This is basically it. I tend to prefer guys who are taller, stronger, etc. But I have looked right past them and swooned over guys who are physically the exact opposite of what I normally am attracted to because of the things that are mentioned here - and confidence is the first step. Once you gain confidence the sense of humor and commanding presence will follow naturally. You just have to keep telling yourself that no matter what it is that you've got, there's a girl out there who wants it, whether you're skinny and awkward or short and chubby. And above all, confidence is the sexiest, most magnetic trait in the world.

I'm confident, but not in the conventional manner. I usually go for witty comments to make someone laugh. I'm just not that type of guy that walks up to a girl and has that "i'm the man" attitude. I'll make jokes about myself or something, but not looking for sympathy, more like to implicate that i'm comfortable with who i am. However, the bar scene just seems to get more for the guys with the build.

 

[BellybTickler]

I'm confident, but not in the conventional manner. I usually go for witty comments to make someone laugh. I'm just not that type of guy that walks up to a girl and has that "i'm the man" attitude. I'll make jokes about myself or something, but not looking for sympathy, more like to implicate that i'm comfortable with who i am. However, the bar scene just seems to get more for the guys with the build.

Why you trying to pick up a honkytonk angel anyways dude, looking for sex or a relationship?

 

[Skipadeedoodah]

I'm confident, but not in the conventional manner. I usually go for witty comments to make someone laugh. I'm just not that type of guy that walks up to a girl and has that "i'm the man" attitude. I'll make jokes about myself or something, but not looking for sympathy, more like to implicate that i'm comfortable with who i am. However, the bar scene just seems to get more for the guys with the build.

I don't think the bar is a great place to meet a guy (or girl in your case) anyway. I never go out in search of a guy, and I don't know any girls who do. The girlfriends of mine who do flirt with guys and stuff at bars are really just looking for free drinks - for her - for her friends - for the stranger on the other side of the bar. And these poor suckers totally get caught up in it. I can't tell you how many free shots I've gotten courtesy of some guy who was hoping to get laid by my friend and never even had a chance.

Make jokes about yourself how? I know alot of people, guys and girls, who do this, and it's usually super unattractive. It's like someone is trying to say "I recognize this flaw in my body/character, and I'm going to draw as much attention to it as possible so that I know that YOU know that I'm not insecure about it." and those jokes usually make everyone around you fairly uncomfortable, as they're not sure if laughing with you is going to translate to laughing at you. I'm not there so I don't know if this is you, but I know alot of folks who do this, so my advice would just be to try and be careful that you don't cross that line.

 

[MrMacphisto]

While the 3 C's statement is an accurate, concise explanation for what women generally want, I'll just add a few things.

As a pretty skinny dude myself, I've found that some women actually do prefer thinner guys. Obviously, they're still looking for at least 2 of the 3 C's usually as well, but the physical interest side of things is just as varied among women as it is among guys. Some guys prefer curvier and/or heavier girls rather than the more anorexic-looking stereotypes.

I myself prefer a girl that is thin but toned or medium build but curvy, so to a degree, I defy the stereotype on the other end of things.

By the same token, some girls (like one I'm currently getting to know better) prefer thin guys and actually don't like the muscular build at all.

 

[SlaverTickler]

Women are first and foremost attracted to men with security. The guy with the nicest cave who can kill the biggest animal wins. It's been that way since caveman times and will be that way until judgment day. After they weed through the best providers they will choose the strongest of the strong, and go for them. Some women are attracted to chubby dudes, mainly because they are cuddly, and chances are when the gold diggers are looking for prey they won't have to worry about them going else where.

 

[april]

I have no one set body type that I like. I like the muscles, I like the skinny guys but what I like the most is intelligence and humor. Not even neccisarily confidence because I also like the shy ones.

 

[ndj101982]

Yea making jokes is an art form. Making jokes about yourself is even moreso. Humor can be a defensive mechanism and most people know this- if you sit around ragging on yourself it really comes across as insecurity and sort of digging for compliments. "Haha Well, you know an ugly guy like me would have a hard time with that. *laughs at own joke*". This basically screams out to the room "OMG TELL ME I'M NOT UGLY! PLEASE!". You can refer to that as a conversation killer. 😛

Yea I agree with you. I don't sit there and rip on myself all night or something. I say a few funny things at my own expense, and that's about it. I'm aware that it looks ridiculous to sit there and criticize your own self personally as it looks like you're begging for reassurance that you are not a loser or something. Also, I never say stuff like about myself being ugly or something like that because that is an automatic repellant. I know that I'm not ugly so I don't have to worry about that, nor would I ask a girl if she thinks I"m ugly cuz it looks pathetic. It is more that the bar is just probably not the best place apparently to meet a girl.

 

[april]

Adam Brody. Total lack of build, tottaly hot!

 

[Filthyweasel]

Confidence! Something I'm still mastering myself, especially in body language. I hunch...I've done it for near 30 years, so unless I consciously make an effort to stand up straight on my own, I'll just slump without thinking. And even though in this country my accent does strange things to people, I have an odd habit of fading into invisibility in a social situation, or I let people talk over me.

Bulky has it's charm. Natural animal magnetism...fitness attracts the eyes and gives those guys the privilege of a head start. But confidence will win out in the end, almost always. It shows what kind of person you are, not just what you look like. Some think confidence and arrogance are the same thing and they're not. There's a difference between "I'm awesome and I know it," and "I like myself and I'm completely comfortable with who I am."

 

[Bohemianne]

His FAT brains come first, but I prefer skinny and frail types, like my SO.

-o0o-

But just for the sake of perfect visual reference, here is Adrien Brody:

http://www.adrien-brody.org/images\players\adrien-brody\adrien-brody-1.jpg

http://www.wallpaperbase.com/wallpapers/celebsm/adrienbrody/adrien_brody_3.jpg

 

[april]

^ Yup, Adrien Brody is cute too!

 

[MrMacphisto]

His FAT brains come first, but I prefer skinny and frail types, like my SO.

-o0o-

But just for the sake of perfect visual reference, here is Adrien Brody:

http://www.adrien-brody.org/images\players\adrien-brody\adrien-brody-1.jpg

http://www.wallpaperbase.com/wallpapers/celebsm/adrienbrody/adrien_brody_3.jpg

lol... I dated a girl who was really into Adrien Brody. She apparently thought I shared a few of his traits...

 

[Bohemianne]

lol... I dated a girl who was really into Adrien Brody. She apparently thought I shared a few of his traits...

Really?! *&^%$#@!
Cheers to that!

 

[sasaxrah]

I don't mind muscles but they certainly aren't a prerequisite.

 

[Bohemianne]

I don't mind muscles but they certainly aren't a prerequisite.

Exactly.

 

[MrMacphisto]

Really?! *&^%$#@!
Cheers to that!

Thanks 😉

 

[Excess]

Let's be honest here, most women are attracted to more muscular guys, just like most guys are attracted to more hourglass-shaped women. It's just how it is. But like how many guys can be physically interested in a woman who isn't exactly shaped perfectly, so can women be the same to men, though I dunno what the actual ratio is there.

Now I wanna tackle the Confidence part of the "Three C's", because quite frankly I think it's exaggerated. 'Confidence' can mean more than one thing, mainly either 'comfortable' or 'arrogant'. Now let's consider the idea of 'women go for bad boys'. The whole principle hangs on women being attracted to guys that exhibit a degree of dick-ish behavior. Now a common theme in these types of guys is usually an excess (heheh) of confidence, or 'arrogance'. So if this is true, then what degree of confidence do most women find attractive?

And now consider the other end, what I call 'comfortable', as in with themselves, meaning to a more limited degree. The major differences between these guys and 'arrogant' guys is that:

1. They are aware that they aren't perfect.
2. They aren't in your face about it.

For 1, please note that there is a HUGE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN 'AWARE THAT THEY AREN'T PERFECT' AND "BAAAAAAAW I'M HORRIBLE I'M NO GOOD NO ONE CAN WANT ME!". I all-caps this because people tend to miss this sometimes. And by sometimes I mean often-times. And for 2, that they may not constantly exude confidence because they don't feel a need to. Because they are confident. Comfortably. 😛

So what I'm getting at here is that being 'confident' isn't the end-all-be-all it's sometimes made out to be, because people have different ideas of what degree of confidence is ideal.

 

[tickmankyle1]

The Three C's dude: Confidence, Comedy, and Command Presence.

i'm a guy and would have to agree cause i know guys that treat girls loke shit and dogs and have a different girl all the time. ME i would treat a girl like an angle/ queen and i get nothing.

 

[AphxA]

First and foremost, that nice guy bullshit doesnt work. Females look at this as a sign of weakness and you will end up buying a girl a drink and then she will take her free drink and walk away. You will feel like shit. The way you carry yourself says alot. The way you dress also says alot. Alot of girls at my job tell me im like that older brother type which basically translates into: your a pussy. Having a sense of control and dominating attitude helps also. Worse comes to worse, you can try plentyoffish.com

 

[Admiral Trouser]

Unless you have massive self-esteem issues and can't but help to knock yourself down at every available opportunity, don't change you who are, or *wish* to be, for the sake of hitting up on a girl. If you want to be a nice guy, be nice. A large proportion of women will take this as a "weakness", an assumption grounded in the principle that, as a guy, if you're a dick you don't care if you lose a girl because plenty of others will be lining up to take a bite after she's gone, and vice-versa; nice guys are nice because they're desperate and insecure, and they're essentially "pleading" with the girl to accept them, or whatever.

It's in some part true...those guys do exist. But you have to ask yourself: Is that guy really you? Are you willing to trade principles and attitude for courtship and sex? I treat *people* with respect, irrespective of there gender, race or circumstance, because that's how I was brought up to become and it's the man I wish to be. Does it score me dates left right and center? Lord, no. A pertinent quote from Steve Martin:

"Hey guys...you know that look women give you when they want sex? No, me neither..."

Yup. That sums it up neatly. But I honestly, truly don't mind. I have patience when it comes to getting "the girl". It will happen (not being lazy about it, mind you. That's just denial). Be happy with who you are and how you live, and it will be noted upon and you will benefit, in the long run. In short, this:

Han: "Keep your distance Chewie but don't look like you're trying to keep your distance."

Chewbacca: "Ngyargh yargh."

Han: "I don't know...fly casual!"


Sage words indeed.

 

[Ticklish9's]

I'm confident, but not in the conventional manner. I usually go for witty comments to make someone laugh. I'm just not that type of guy that walks up to a girl and has that "i'm the man" attitude. I'll make jokes about myself or something, but not looking for sympathy, more like to implicate that i'm comfortable with who i am. However, the bar scene just seems to get more for the guys with the build.

The problem isn't you; the problem is the bar scene.

The bar scene is full of people who are going out cruising for mates. It's essentially a meat market.

Don't bother with it. 95% of the people you could wind up with in the bar scene are people you'll regret winding up with (editor's note: this statistic is completely made up).

Do what you love to do. Do it well. You'll meet other people who also love it, and from those people you'll meet someone worth keeping. The reasons? A) You'll already have something in common. B) Competence breeds confidence - if you're doing something you love and do well, it will show. And C) the same things girls find attractive, you'll find attractive. And you'll meet girls with those attributes doing the things that you love, for the same reasons I gave above.

If you find you're not fitting in with people, find new people. There are people out there who can't wait to get to know somebody just like you.

I'm about 5'10 and 130 pounds, clumsy, scrawny, and pretty goofy looking (but I wear it with style!). I was shy and awkward in high school and never felt comfortable in the frat/bar scene. Then I found raving and I've never looked back. People I love who also love me, and I couldn't be happier.

Just find your home. The rest will fall into place.

 

[april]

Heres another skinny-liciouse utterly shmexy man! Jesse Eisenberg.