Ashamed of a Tickling Fetish

[TRU]

I'm not really ashamed of it at all. Everyone is different, and everyone has secrets that, for whatever reason, they would feel embarassed about if anybody found out.

I am actually thankful and gracious that I am into this type of stuff, because it's brought so much happiness to my life. And the fact that this community is as big as it is, and there's a lot of video companies out there that specialize this type of stuff, makes it even better.

 

[Radiolightning]

We're all in public office; I think it's ignorant to think otherwise. If you're not campaigning for the public to respect you, you're campaigning for your clients/ boss/ staff to respect you. It's wonderful to have a community of people on here that share their thoughts, but to ban together as some sort of sexual revolution makes it very hard for those who don't want to be defined by something so superficial to bring it up.

Let's face it; if you bring up tickling to a sheltered girl and she googles it online; what does she see? Yahoo Q & A posts from horny men posing at teen girls to get other girls to respond, message boards where everyone's icon is a woman with with her feet shoved at a camera or being tied up... heavy stuff posted by the horny. To each his own, but it makes it harder on the rest of us.

I have gay friends that have told me their "community" made it hard for them to live their life. They didn't want to be flamboyant queens and stereotyped, they were just guys attracted to other guys. I get it... I love tickling, but some stuff men put out there make it so I have to hide my connection to it.

Even Charlie Sheen, who admits to so many insane things, won't admit to this one. We all know who was hiding in his closet. We should ask ourselves before we act online if we are being selfish or creating a hard life for those interested in this.

I never realized so many people wanted to run for public office one day.........We have already had the one M/M Congressman and aide "tickle scandal".....😉 I would think the Internet would give people at least glimpses of the million and one non-vanilla flavors in the world. Now whether knowing about others kinks makes you feel better or badder, I do not know. The quality and kindness of seemingly most of the folks on TMF should serve more like a recruitment poster or "laughing cult" at least.

 

[Comfort Eagle]

Even Charlie Sheen, who admits to so many insane things, won't admit to this one. We all know who was hiding in his closet.

Yeah a porn star. Porn stars often do fetish videos.

You're way, way overreacting. Tickling isn't a sexual orientation no matter how big a part of your life it is. A fetish is something, believe it or not, you can have people react better to in a number of ways.

Footfuckers have some of the most notoriously creepy people out there, but people still openly cop to foot fetishes all the time. We all talk up "the community" and all that happy garbage, but at the end of the day it's something you alone live with an need to learn how to work into your love life (or suppress, if you feel that's the only option). I'm a short, ugly, funny voiced man that's big into feet and tickling, and I've had several beautiful, out of my league women indulge me in both because I knew how to go about getting it.

 

[Radiolightning]

What's the photo for? If you're not ashamed, post your own picture 😉 I'm half kidding obviously, but there's something funny about saying your not ashamed, but using a fake identity and using two women you don't know as a flag for your transparency. You don't want to be publicly known for this any more than i do.

I'm don't want anything to do with my fetish. There's nothing wrong with it, but for me it doesn't fit with my life... so I get very little pleasure unless I seek it out quietly every so often. It's not the act of tickling, it's the act of linking myself to the extremists in the fetish, because they're the loud, desensitized minority. They get off on making sure the most extreme stuff is very visible, often with their own unique slant.

I remember reading a few threads on another sites from ladies who were alarmed when discovering their husband's foot fetish. They were looking for advice and it was a real board, not a yahoo one. Half the advice was spot on, but the other half was always a horny guy imposing his ideas on the general public. "guy X" probably jacked off and went to bed, leaving this mess on the net. In one case, a woman's husband wanted to do stuff with her feet from an obvious aggressive standpoint; not pain, but he was a clear dominating guy who needed to be brought out of his shell by his wife. The submissive men club came running and were suggesting she dominate him, making him smell shoes, "shoving" toes in his face and a number of things that would clearly turn this man off and would further confuse the woman.

Only one or two people told her the truth. This is individual to the person and really you can only tell generally what things they might like based on their outlook. I love tickling woman and I'm great at it; I also hate stockings, F/F tickling, terms like MILF (A woman in her 30's is young; I don't want to pretend she's Stiffler's nasty 55 year old mom) and many things that we see quite often. If someone i was with asked for advice, I'd be doomed.

 

[Libertine]

I'm a short, ugly, funny voiced man that's big into feet and tickling, and I've had several beautiful, out of my league women indulge me in both because I knew how to go about getting it.

Gentlemen, take note of this fellow and follow his example. The difference between rape and seduction (or isolation and fulfillment) is salesmanship.

 

[DontAskJusTckle]

Beats being a furry.

^Best reply in the thread.

Listening to the stories in this and other threads, I can understand their angst and why they feel it, even though I've never felt it myself. To me tickling is and has always been something I associated with coolness. It's a natural and common activity among people in general from childhood up through adulthood.

 

[Radiolightning]

Yeah a porn star. Porn stars often do fetish videos.

I'm not going deep into it because this isn't TMZ, but the only reason he wasn't outed is this fetish is off the radar of the type of people who chase him around. Even if they heard tickling, it's not sexual to them. Some music legends are notorious for tickling groupies and it's not called a fetish by anyone other than guys who "get it".

You're way, way overreacting. Tickling isn't a sexual orientation no matter how big a part of your life it is.

I totally agree and that was kind of my point. It's a vocal minority making something a bigger deal than it is, causing those we desire to feel WE make it that big a deal. So the tickle guy gets branded by the online people who live it as a lifestyle and the gay man get branded by activists who feel their unique personal interests are somehow reflective of an entire sexual orientation. For what it's worth, I hate TV shows that put men in a bad light too... I just feel there's too much judgment and separation in this world because even within communities, we often don't work together to enlighten and just post online for personal satisfaction.

Footfuckers have some of the most notoriously creepy people out there, but people still openly cop to foot fetishes all the time.

Totally agree.. I HATE that. The loudest ones are the most creepy and women who don't know the fetish have no basic foundation. It's like talking to a kid about the birds and bees and starting with anal. It's horribly irresponsible for these men to be this creepy online. I have the fetish myself and am creeped out; sometimes I'll read a board and after seeing a few of these posts, I start to ask myself if I'm one of them. Even if i don't like most of what they posted, I AM there reading it.

I'd never tell anyone I cared about (who I knew hated being tickled) that i was into this. I'm not ashamed at liking feet or tickling; I'm ashamed of being linked to all these horny repressed men and their unique interests. I'm just as unique, but what's the use of spelling out my interests on a board; no woman on here is going to want to meet me for this. It's all "munch" and go home lol Also, tickling has a narcissistic edge to it; it's of course a mutual experience, but if someone doesn't like tickling it's not a "just deal with it" fetish. I have a hard time imposing my interest on someone I know hates it. I can't get off without one or the other and it's just a curse I have to live with. I wish I wasn't born like this, because I truly have to choose between what's best for the people I'm exposed to, what's best for me and me having a fulfilling sex life. Having all three is a fantasy because they contradict.

We all talk up "the community" and all that happy garbage, but at the end of the day it's something you alone live with an need to learn how to work into your love life

i wish you weren't right, but you're spot on.

I'm a short, ugly, funny voiced man that's big into feet and tickling, and I've had several beautiful, out of my league women indulge me in both because I knew how to go about getting it.

First of all, ugly is not to be judged on the surface. I'm what some consider a decent looking guy, but the only thing I'm really proud of is the inside. It's also the only things i respect in others; looks are fun, but that's all it is. I know how to get tickling too, but it's by manipulation and that act makes me feel like a tool. I've only met one girl into it; and kept getting together for this, but ultimately she wanted more than sexual thrills. The people who like me are mostly fantastic & bright women; I'm really nice to people and a "go to" character for advice. As it is, a tickle fetish and foot fetish is way out of left field for me... I just can't expose that to these people who count on me for stability.

As long as we all need to post a gif or dirty photo as a final gesture; I offer my role model to hopefully lift some spirits.

 

[Radiolightning]

Well said.

 

[trainman3004]

I have been a lurker here for over two years so I guess this is my coming out party. Long story short I tried tickling my first two girlfriends and was told by both I was weird so I kept my tickle fetish hidden for most of my life. Now I find myself a 55 year old ler no longer afraid to admit it after reading so many stories here.

 

[cue]

It really goes back to how we think others will perceive us. Friends, family, associates who may view us as weird and creepy. We all have something that turns us on. Some who are attracted to tattoos. Or motorcycles. Or something else. Tickling has been viewed by society as something that is creepy and weird. As if the men who enjoy tickling their dates/significant others are "dirty old men who are trying to take advantage of someone". Not to mention that some view tickling as being something that's childish. In their minds, consenting adults don't participate in something like "that".

It's funny how we hear that we should be individualists.....just as long as we follow society's rules for being normal. I'm bisexual and enjoy being tickled. I would love to experience a session with another female. Just as with my bisexuality, I don't tell people I'm into tickling. The friends I have told are someone who I REALLY trust. I would tell those who I'm interested in that I enjoy being tickled.

It's not really our shame that keeps some from enjoying their tickling fetish, but the lack of hesitation that society will turn its back on us if we don't conform to their rules.

 

[Radiolightning]

If you want to know why people feel shame for being different with regards to sexuality, just ask Rex Ryan. The poor guy was practically crucified by ESPN for doing kinky stuff with his wife, for the love of all things holy.

I can't speak for any other country, but in the USA, the media seems to scream at us that hopping into bed at the drop of a dime is just fine, but God forbid you do anything unusual or else you're a bad person.

I have a laundry list of TV episodes to back up my assertion and it only starts with Law & Order: SVU

You're right, we're not a very open country in that regard. Shock value is used by a few special interests groups that create this illusion that we're a free thinking culture, but really we're a culture where you're mocked even if you style your hair. I've been called a Metrosexual because I shower and shave... when I leave the US I'm a man who smells nice and has respect for himself. Fly back home and I have a label.

We need to find a way to stop that. I do find it ironic that the gay community controls pop culture media and of all the demographics that should be sensitive toward name calling, the vocal minority use little catch phrases and mockery to put down everyone who's who style they don't value.

I heard a reporter call into a radio show to defend Rex Ryan; after a few minutes he said he himself had a foot fetish and the two co-hosts (man and woman) stammered over their words and then shifted from respecting this reporter to childish mockery in about 5 seconds. He got mad and they moved on, but it is what it is.

 

[Radiolightning]

It really goes back to how we think others will perceive us. Friends, family, associates who may view us as weird and creepy. We all have something that turns us on. Some who are attracted to tattoos. Or motorcycles. Or something else. Tickling has been viewed by society as something that is creepy and weird. As if the men who enjoy tickling their dates/significant others are "dirty old men who are trying to take advantage of someone". Not to mention that some view tickling as being something that's childish. In their minds, consenting adults don't participate in something like "that".

It's funny how we hear that we should be individualists.....just as long as we follow society's rules for being normal. I'm bisexual and enjoy being tickled. I would love to experience a session with another female. Just as with my bisexuality, I don't tell people I'm into tickling. The friends I have told are someone who I REALLY trust. I would tell those who I'm interested in that I enjoy being tickled.

It's not really our shame that keeps some from enjoying their tickling fetish, but the lack of hesitation that society will turn its back on us if we don't conform to their rules.

VERY well said!! It's not shame, it's disappointment that we can't enjoy our sexuality to it's fullest and also reach our personal potential in this society. It's fact; so of course it's depressing at times, but "Cue" is right.

To add to it, many people are SO open about it, that you're hesitant to play with them because they seemingly are reckless and desensitized regarding their public image; you fear they'll out you by osmosis. 😉

It's amazing that someone can have respect for a ton of important things you do and something as trivial as having a tickle fetish can really negate everything.

 

[chicago]

I always felt like the more ashamed or nervous a person was about it, especially when trying to talk about it, always came off more weird and creepy than a person who didn't think it was a big deal. There's really no reason to be paranoid about friends and family finding out, and even if they did, and they treated you differently... that'd be kinda fucked up.

I think the idea that society views tickling as weird and creepy is a mindset of some of the people here based on their own shame of their fetish or the very few creeps you hear about in the news. I think most people see tickling as just something fun and playful. Others might think it's annoying, but I really don't think many people are even aware that it can be creepy so the thought doesn't cross their mind.

The idea that "society will turn its back on you" is a little extreme. It's not something you shout from the rooftops, but it's really quite nominal and tame in the grand scheme of things. People have their own personal hangups about what turns them on, causes them to repress it and thus obsess over it, creating issues where there weren't any. The perception here is really off I think.

 

[MrPeanut]

I always felt like the more ashamed or nervous a person was about it, especially when trying to talk about it, always came off more weird and creepy than a person who didn't think it was a big deal.

Nice catch-22.

 

[chicago]

Nice catch-22.

I don't see it that way. A person can change their attitude and outlook on things. For instance, when a dude first asks out a girl - the most common advice given is "Be yourself. Be confident." Even if on the inside they're terrified, fake it til ya make it. Women find confidence sexy. Insecurity is typically not a turn on, whether it comes to tickling or anything else.

 

[MrPeanut]

I don't see it that way. A person can change their attitude and outlook on things. For instance, when a dude first asks out a girl - the most common advice given is "Be yourself. Be confident." Even if on the inside they're terrified, fake it til ya make it. Women find confidence sexy. Insecurity is typically not a turn on, whether it comes to tickling or anything else.

I'm familiar with the 'be yourself' advice. But being my beer-swilling, football-loving, farting and burping, shy and quiet and closed self has never gotten me anywhere. Therefore I acted as if I was someone else. Which also didn't help.

 

[chicago]

I'm familiar with the 'be yourself' advice. But being my beer-swilling, football-loving, farting and burping, shy and quiet and closed self has never gotten me anywhere. Therefore I acted as if I was someone else. Which also didn't help.

Most guys like beer, football, farting and burping. Some of those guys are even shy and quiet. There is a difference between shy and quiet and insecure and negative. You don't have to change your personality, rather the way you view yourself and your fetish. Again, there are a million excuses a person can give, but at the end of the day, happiness is something you have to work for. Contrary to popular belief, it's not something that falls out of the sky into laps of special people.

Having a defeatist attitude really hinders a lot for a person.

 

[Rabbit Hole]

I wouldn't say ashamed, just extremely embarrassed and self conscious. Cause in the real world, most of the time every room your in you are probably going to be the only one with a tickle fetish.

 

[chicago]

I wouldn't say ashamed, just extremely embarrassed and self conscious. Cause in the real world, most of the time every room your in you are probably going to be the only one with a tickle fetish.

But why would that room need to know or give a shit? One time, I was the only person over 5'4" in this ladies bathroom. It didn't really freak me out. Another time, I was the only one in a group of people with tattoos, but everything was fine. And both of those were things I couldn't hide.

 

[MrPeanut]

But why would that room need to know or give a shit? One time, I was the only person over 5'4" in this ladies bathroom. It didn't really freak me out. Another time, I was the only one in a group of people with tattoos, but everything was fine. And both of those were things I couldn't hide.

Boo-hoo.

 

[chicago]

Boo-hoo.

My point exactly.

 

[drnkntklr]

I used to be very nervous about telling people about my fetish, but that has faded over time. As Annie has pointed out, while it may not be something that I would tell everyone, chances are that if I am telling someone about my tickling fetish I already feel pretty comfortable with that person. Moreover, that person probably likes me based on my personality, and s/he would not mock or ridicule me.

 

[rhiannon]

I don't know how often I have said this, but - there is no need to be open about your fetish! I am so much more than my fetish, and people who I don't share the bed with do not need to know what I like in the bedroom! Everybody who meets me will learn to know a lot about me, and then, much later, when there's such a thing as a relationship established, that's when they hear about the fetish. If they decide to back out at that point just because of that one fact, then I'd think they are pretty disturbed individuals who don't actually care about me and the kind of person I am!

So - I don't care if there's a bunch of people online who are creeps. There always are, there always will be, and they have NOTHING to do with me!

 

[duderino84]

With me it's a lot of what guys said; people make it seem about the most cruel, terrible, mind-fucking torture there is. One thing I noticed in the mind of a vanilla girl is this mindset of "IF I ALLOW THIS THEN WHAT OTHER HELL COULD BE BROUGHT UPON ME?" from the most inexperienced girl to the girl who's had 17 guy partners and wants to have more. "I'm no sure if I could deal because you'd tickle me out of breath and that would be ______________________________________________ (begins inserting fart noises).

Anyhow. I've tried even going "oh, but I'll do it really nice". Because I know how not to be a tickle moron who grabs the ribs like some gorilla, and starts tickling for as long as possible. No, it's going to be a bondage free tickle, all over, 5 or 10 seconds on, 5 or 10 off, 20 minutes (hell, sounds like I'm cooking, doesn't it?).

3/4 of the time I get "uh no thanx" or "ooohhhh ________ (geez, boy, whatever you will, which is code for "fuck no, find somebody else").


My rejection has gotten so frequent (18 dates, 3 short relationships) I've voluntarily stayed celibate. Because the game became instead of "find someone who can love me" it's "figure out how to turn them away since most of them will choose that anyway." The ones that are "tough enough" and want to see me again I believe are the ones that can love me, not reject me, the ones that aren't turned on by just wasting a guy's time/money (which I frankly don't give a fuck about the money but if it's just about using me, I know I can spend it better on someone else).

I don't approach ppl because the fetishes are never in the background, THEY ARE my attractors (long hair, tickling).

So despite any success I have found....I am and should be ashamed, even if I found my own pace. Of everything. Because I became sick. Do you know how the sick animal in the pack is treated? It's left behind. I was left behind at any opportunity in my upbringing with peers (few exceptions). So now I feel alien when I'm alone and alien when I relate with people because I'm just anticipating the next issue somebody takes with me.

EDIT: don't mind me, was feeling dramatic earlier....

 

[Libertine]

All too many ill-adjusted guys use this fetish as a 'noble excuse' for avoiding women, and they wander through life as self-made martyrs professing self-imposed celibacy and carrying a metaphorical, self-penned 'Kick Me For I Am Not Worthy' sign.

This behaviour makes as much sense as someone who piously announces he never learned to ski because sometimes he would fall.

If you want something badly enough you will find a way to do it, at least to some extent. As Muhammed Ali put it, 'A champion needs will, and he needs skill. But the will must be greater than the skill'.

The rest of us perves just roll our eyes at you and get on with perving as best we can- because over the years we learned how to try.

Trying results in occasional success.

This approach, in the general sense, is known simply as 'Living'.