Ask Alchemy (you know you want to)

[kis123]

Hey kis...I think you forgot an there..supposed to have two 's ..

Ok so...lets see what the crystal ball says...hmmm....
ok, hold on a sec...let me go over here...the light hits it better here...yeah...there we go...see it all lighting up and looking cool now...yeah, that DOES look pretty cool. So...I see....well....I see light...and...um....little roundy, sparkly things in the glass....but what does it mean? Oh, I know. The crystal ball is saying: at some point in time, you will see light..probly from the sun...where you live. Also, you'll see little round sparkly things....yeah, not too sure about that one, but hey, if the crystal ball said it, it must be true. So...if you DO start seeing the little round sparkly things somewhere, let me know, cause that would be pretty cool.

Ok so, until next time..or the next question!

Hey....now I get it! I have a cool, rounded, yet sparkly future to look forward to-works for me! 😀

Oh just a FYI-my kis only requires 1 "s" as it stands for "keep it simple." The "123" was just added as an afterthought.

 

[alchemy]

Time to get the Lead out!

Mr. Alchemy, how can I change Lead into Gold?

Well Darvon, this can be done a couple ways.

1. The do-it-yourself-way.
First, you take the lead and set it upon an alter...or...some kinda cool pedestal...or maybe..a stack of metal cd's.....something like that. Now, if you have powers...you know, lead changing into gold powers, you'll be done in no time. Let's assume that you don't have these Darvon. In your case, this process can be done with items that you can find around the house....bleach...toothpaste....refrigerator magnet...lava lamp...remote control... Those kinds of things. That's pretty much all you need. The really hard part of doing it this way is that you can never be quite sure how much and in what order everything needs to be applied. I mean, I tried doing it the hard...err...this way and so far, I haven't created gold. I've created...lots of tiny lead....lead that's kinda like a doorstop....lead with goo all over it...
So, it's pretty hard Darvon.

2. The easy way
Call David Blaine. I mean, that guy's pretty powerful. I bet he could do it for you Darvon.

Ok, so...until next time.

 

[alchemy]

Deleted!

So sorry, this question was DELETED!!!!

Ha ha! Take that!

 

[alchemy]

awesome!

Fine resume sir, VERY fine! That and with the Ohio endorser's enthusiastic review of your um, SKILLS, I think you'll fit in nicely--consider yourself one of the gang--officially speaking I mean! 😉 See ya next summer--Ohio and/or Texas contacts will keep you posted...

XOXO

Alright! Sweet! Look XOXO, you made ol' Alchemy smile.

 

[isabeau]

Alright! Sweet! Look XOXO, you made ol' Alchemy smile.

um how ol do you consider ol' to be????

p.s..this is the most i've seen you posting..which is a good thing.

 

[alchemy]

um how ol do you consider ol' to be????

p.s..this is the most i've seen you posting..which is a good thing.

Well isashark, in answer to your question:

Thousands of years ago, the first Alchemy's finally began to evolve from the many species of primates that formed the matix for the human race. These first Alchemys were great, but still very very primative. They ran amuk amoung the general population and threw animal bones and their own feces at the other animals as a way of saying "Here I am, rock you like a hurricane!" to the lesser creatures around them. They were seen as witches and cast into the great volcano as a sacrifice to the great volcano god for hope of rain and food. Before this happened though, they were able to spread their dastardly seed to others and therefore spawn many more generations of Alchemy's who spread their influence and feces to the other primates for many many years after. For centuries, the many Alchemy's rained terror and animal bones down on the people who at this point had not only spread themselves across the earth, but also divided into two separate species...the Humans...and the French. During the dark ages, led by many Alchemy's, hordes of barbarians and vicious varments laid waste to villages and towns throughout the land...turning all of their food and crops into useless gold. For the people were now rich, but very quickly died of starvation. Thus, they paid the price for their avarice...with their lives.

Does that answer your question?

 

[venray]

Who told you!!

Next question:

Why wont you answer my last question? Is there some kind of asparagus conspiracy going on in the alchemist society?...

 

[LeeAllure]

How come all the cute, long-haired musician guys into
tickling as much as I am, who have met my bad-ass
friend John, happen to live in Houston?

Lee

 

[kurchatovium]

Whats the frequency Kenneth? 😛

 

[steph]

YAY!
It's what I do best, yanno!
XOXO

Alright! Sweet! Look XOXO, you made ol' Alchemy smile.

 

[Saeria]

I just couldn't resist consulting your wisdom 😀!

Why are there no B batteries?

what would happen if I passed gas AND sneezed at the same time?

How adventurous IS kokigami really?

Why do you still insist it was a duck?

Do these magnifying glass pants make my butt look big?

 

[alchemy]

Jet City Woman

How come all the cute, long-haired musician guys into
tickling as much as I am, who have met my bad-ass
friend John, happen to live in Houston?

Lee

Hello hello hello Lee!

Hmmm...well, sometimes fate deals us a good hand, and sometimes not. We have to play the hand we have and hope for the best.

Wow, was THAT corny enough for you?

The real answer is that this is where this certain long-haired musician guy was born and this is where his band is. Other than that, I don't really have much of an answer for you. Another thing that kinda sucks is that we're basically two fairly non-ticklish lers, though we do make a pretty invincible team. Oh well...such is life.
Anyway, thanks for the question, my dear.
Looking forward to seeing you again...as always. 😉

 

[alchemy]

Dude, something is afoot at the Circle K

Whats the frequency Kenneth? 😛

Well...kur...uh...kurch...a..tov..

Well Curtis, first off, you left off a comma in between the words frequency and Kenneth. You see, there's a pause right there and those kinds of pauses call for commas...or at least some sort of puntuation there. I mean, even a "..." would have worked. That's a pause that even longer than a comma..that's like 3 commas. You know....when you...pause...for...dramatic effect.
Secondly, who is this person named Kenneth? I think you sent this to the wrong person, man. There certainly isn't any Kenneth around here. If I WAS Kenneth, however, I'd be like "Hey man, proof read your messages before sending them next time!"

Thanks for the question anyway Curtis...you might wanna try sending another one to Kenneth though.

 

[alchemy]

Up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, B, A, Start

I just couldn't resist consulting your wisdom 😀!

Why are there no B batteries?

what would happen if I passed gas AND sneezed at the same time?

How adventurous IS kokigami really?

Why do you still insist it was a duck?

Do these magnifying glass pants make my butt look big?

Wow everyone, this is a question from the entire country of Saeria! Damn, good to know that a bunch of people from the world all joined together in harmony to ask their future despot leader a question.
Well everyone, I'll answer your questions as best as I can. Let's see here...

1. Actually, there ARE B batteries, but we (as in the public) will never get to see them. You see, it isn't aliens that are locked up in Area 51, it's all the B batteries of the world. I mean, what do you think all those high-tech gadgets that they build there run on? No A, AA, or AAA batteries will do, no way, only B batteries for our government.

2. Ah...that would be the infamous SNART! Few have experienced this and live to tell about it.

3. Kokigami is as adventurous as you want it to be. I mean, the limits are your imagination...so...like stapler kokigami...and lamp post kokigami...and...waiting for a bus kokigami probably wouldn't be all that adventurous.

4. You mean besides the fact that it was? Hmmm....
..................................................................
.....................................................irritation?

5. Damnit...where'd that frickin Delete button go again....You people in Saeria are just asking for sanctions...and....UN people...and....John Tesh...

Hope at least some of that helped.
Yeah...yet another country more enlightened.

 

[isabeau]

yea i have a question...why are you calling me izashark????? and thanks for that lengthy and informative answer to my question...buttttttt that didn't really answer it..you skirted the issue..tsk tsk tsk..

 

[drew70]

What do you call that diamond shaped chord that Jimmy Page plays on "The Rain Song"? 😀

 

[TklDuo-Ann]

Here are a couple for ya...

What is the color of laughter?

What frequency does laughter have to be to be "silent"?

Why did poor pluto get ousted from the rank of planet?

Why don't you and your band move up this way? 😉

OK, OK. So, that was more than a couple.

Ann

 

[venray]

Where does the color green come from.............

 

[siamese dream]

Well isashark, in answer to your question:

Thousands of years ago, the first Alchemy's finally began to evolve from the many species of primates that formed the matix for the human race. These first Alchemys were great, but still very very primative. They ran amuk amoung the general population and threw animal bones and their own feces at the other animals as a way of saying "Here I am, rock you like a hurricane!" to the lesser creatures around them. They were seen as witches and cast into the great volcano as a sacrifice to the great volcano god for hope of rain and food. Before this happened though, they were able to spread their dastardly seed to others and therefore spawn many more generations of Alchemy's who spread their influence and feces to the other primates for many many years after. For centuries, the many Alchemy's rained terror and animal bones down on the people who at this point had not only spread themselves across the earth, but also divided into two separate species...the Humans...and the French. During the dark ages, led by many Alchemy's, hordes of barbarians and vicious varments laid waste to villages and towns throughout the land...turning all of their food and crops into useless gold. For the people were now rich, but very quickly died of starvation. Thus, they paid the price for their avarice...with their lives.

Does that answer your question?

LOL, okay, now THIS answer reminds me of Aqua Teen Hunger Force...the episode with the robot from the future and the history of Santa Claws... "IT WASN'T A HOLLY JOLLY CHRISTMAS THAT YEAR...!"

"THIS IS GOING TO TAKE A LONG TIME...SO YOU MAY WANT TO GET SOME SNACKS..."

I watch too much TV

 

[kurchatovium]

Well...kur...uh...kurch...a..tov..

Well Curtis, first off, you left off a comma in between the words frequency and Kenneth. You see, there's a pause right there and those kinds of pauses call for commas...or at least some sort of puntuation there. I mean, even a "..." would have worked. That's a pause that even longer than a comma..that's like 3 commas. You know....when you...pause...for...dramatic effect.
Secondly, who is this person named Kenneth? I think you sent this to the wrong person, man. There certainly isn't any Kenneth around here. If I WAS Kenneth, however, I'd be like "Hey man, proof read your messages before sending them next time!"

Thanks for the question anyway Curtis...you might wanna try sending another one to Kenneth though.

This question was once asked to Dan Rather by some nutcase trying to mug him I think. Not sure what his answer was, but I like yours much better. 😀 😀 😛
__________________

 

[Mimi]

LOL, okay, now THIS answer reminds me of Aqua Teen Hunger Force...the episode with the robot from the future and the history of Santa Claws... "IT WASN'T A HOLLY JOLLY CHRISTMAS THAT YEAR...!"

"THIS IS GOING TO TAKE A LONG TIME...SO YOU MAY WANT TO GET SOME SNACKS..."

I watch too much TV

Hahaha! I saw that episode! It's one of my favorites! I love it when he mistakes the curtain for a time rift! LOL

Okay, my question for alchy.....

Why do they air commercials for erectile disfunction / irregularities / tampons and sanitary napkins / douche / 'personal massage warming oil' / diarrhea / yeast infection cream every single night for a 3 hour block during the supper hours??

 

[TklDuo-Drew]

Where does the color green come from.............

That's it........I'm off asparagus forever.



Drew

 

[alchemy]

Way down inside!

What do you call that diamond shaped chord that Jimmy Page plays on "The Rain Song"? 😀

Well Andy, it's good to know that somebody is getting the Led out today!
As you your question:

You see Ands, Jimmy was really messed up back then duder. I mean REALLY messed up. I mean, you may think you've been messed up before, but that's just peanuts to Jimmy, listen! The problem with that song is that Jimbo isn't tuned normally. As you know, a normal guitar tuning is: E, A, D, G, B, E. Jim is tuned thusly: D, G, C, G, C, D.
Hmmm...from what i can figure out, it looks like the shape of the chord is a major 7th chord. To me, though, once you tune your guitar like that, all of your theory has to be re-arranged as well..which is a pain in the ass.

Here's a link to some Tab for ya as well.

http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/tabs/l/led_zeppelin/the_rain_song_tab.htm

Good luck with that Drew!

 

[alchemy]

The sound of one hand not caring

What is the color of laughter?

What frequency does laughter have to be to be "silent"?

Why did poor pluto get ousted from the rank of planet?

Why don't you and your band move up this way? 😉

OK, OK. So, that was more than a couple.

Ann

Hello again HyphenAnn! Back with more of the questions I see! Groovy.

Ok so, question 1, What is the color or laugh...uh....
Ok Ann, let's go ahead and go over this. Laughter is a sound, not a color. You see, a color is a frequency of the spectrum that we as human beings can see with our eyes. Like red, for example. Red is a color. Laughter is Not a color, it's a sound. Where we perceive a color with our eyes, laughter is with our ears...well, I guess you could see a person laughing since it is a physical thing too and...wait a minute...this is a trick isn't it!? Yeah...yeah..not falling for that one. Almost Annie, almost...

Hmm...let's see about question 2....
..another trick question! Silent to who? To us? To Dogs? To robots? To who Ann? Yeah..another tricky one for ol' Alchemy huh? Sorry, better luck next question.

3....because a bunch of stuffy old scientists decided that with the NEW planetary classification, poor Pluto just didn't fit in anymore. So now he's been forced to hang out with the goth kids on the fringe of the solar system.

4. That would be nice actually, but first of all, just moving in the city is hard and irritating enough. Moving out of state would be a pain in the ass. I would have to quit my job, still pay the rent on my apartment, fly up there and live there for who knows how long and job hunt until I find a job that will pay me enough to live on. Then I would have to load everything I own into a moving van and drive it up there...only for it to left in storage for probably months. Then, I'll have to work at that job long enough to find an appartment...and that's a whole world of hassle if it's not a high paying job with co-signing and deposites and bullshit like that. Then, after months and months of hassle, bullshit, and lots of money spent and promised, I could (hopefully) move into my apartment and start my life again...fun fun fun. And that's just me. The other members of the band would probably never leave...especially my drummer who's a contractor.

Anyway Ann...some tricky questions there...

tricky

 

[alchemy]

I wish my grass were Emo so then it would cut itself!

Where does the color green come from.............

Ray..duder...you gotta get out more. Yeah..no..put the asparagus down...and slowly back away.