Being in a relationship and still tickling other people

[oxoforgotso]

So im on the verge of being in a relationship with a girl who knows about both my foot and tickling fetishes. She accepts them and experiences them with me regularly. She has grown to really like them because she loves being tickled and she loves getting foot massages.

While i really like this girl and see a future with her, i still have a a very strong desire to tickle other girls, tie them up and worship their feet. I desire these things more than sex.

I have mentioned fantasies to the girl im dating that involves her and other girls tying me up and tickling me while im stripped naked plus other fantasies that involve her being pleasured by other girls and she loves the idea of all of them.

Id love to hear if anyone has experienced anything similar? Thoughts/opinions?

Im sure some producers could shed some light

Basically i want to experience tickling her, tickling other girls with her, tickle her with other girls and get tickled by her & her with other girls.

 

[AiritheDestoyer]

If she is open to these ideas, then talking to her about it shouldn't be hard. It's all about how you present your side and communicate. I, myself, have a boyfriend, a Dom and still play with others. It's all about communication, always. But keep in mind, if you play with others, she can too. Some people forget that.

I hope this helps. ^^

 

[Wolf]

Being open with your partner is the best way to see your fantasies fulfilled; after all, who better to share them with? But as AiritheDestroyer points out, it's a two-way street, so you should be prepared to indulge her the way you want her to indulge you.

 

[robmic]

Basically i want to experience tickling her, tickling other girls with her, tickle her with other girls and get tickled by her & her with other girls.

Sooooo, you just want it all! 😛 If she's ok with it, you're a lucky guy. If she has concerns about it, remember, you are looking for a lot... Be considerate with her either way.

 

[porcelaindoll2]

As it has already been mentioned communication is key. My husband and I are raging kinky pansexual deviants. Libertine is a word that would describe both us and more so my husband then I. We basically will play/fuck with anyone we find attractive both together and solo, but whenever either one of us is playing with someone solo we always always communicate with each other about when we're playing and who we're playing with(Although we both have the understanding that things can happen in the heat of the moment and in those cases we tell each other right away what happened.). You wanting to have your significant other involved should make things way easier because not everyone can handle their partner playing/fucking others solo. This is one of the main reasons I knew my husband was the man for me.

 

[TKLVR18]

Yep, I'm gonna throw my "communicate" in with everybody elses. My husband and I enjoy a slightly more 'open' relationship than traditional, but there are still boundaries with us. But that's not only okay, that's great--we know where we stand and we know what the other is comfortable with. If something new and exciting comes up, we discuss it--even if, as is (so far) always the case, it's 'just' over RP.

He gets to draw a lot of kinky stuff and post it on dA--but I'm aware of every pic he draws, as he draws it, and anything I'm remotely iffy on I bring up. It isn't an instant "OK I won't do it", it's a "OK let's talk." Similarly, I do a lot of roleplaying with my friends from the Community, both completely platonic and playful to more hot-and-heavy scenarios. I always talk to him when I've found a new play partner (he's always excited to learn, the idea of me casually 'playing' with other people is something he likes anyway)

My point is don't be afraid of communication--it's the best thing for both parties to get exactly what they want out of a relationship. Be honest with her about your fantasies. And as others have said, you must be willing to compromise with her.

~K

 

[Wade]

I'm in a much more vanilla relationship -- my wife enjoys tickling me, but in a playful ad hoc kind of way, not as a thing that's systematically integrated into our shared sex life. And sexually, we're strictly monogamous, which suits us both. That said, she's demonstrated herself to be more than willing to invite other people to tickle me, or to communicate the fact of my ticklishness to other people in such a way as to make it likely that they will try tickling me. And that's a trait of hers that's both maddening and enormously attractive.

 

[piyr]

Each couple sets their own rules - together.

 

[DontAskJusTckle]

My advice is a little different from most of the others. I would strongly advise against communicating your wishes and desires to your GF, unless you've already come to at least a verbal agreement that you'll tickle her and nobody else. If you haven't made such an agreement, then proposing your idea of tickling outside the relationship becomes tantamount to asking her for permission. I recommend you carry on your extra-relational tickling without her knowing about it. Everybody wins.

 

[piyr]

My advice is a little different from most of the others. I would strongly advise against communicating your wishes and desires to your GF, unless you've already come to at least a verbal agreement that you'll tickle her and nobody else. If you haven't made such an agreement, then proposing your idea of tickling outside the relationship becomes tantamount to asking her for permission. I recommend you carry on your extra-relational tickling without her knowing about it. Everybody wins.

Substitute the word 'tickle' for the word 'fuck' and then make your own choices.

 

[porcelaindoll2]

My advice is a little different from most of the others. I would strongly advise against communicating your wishes and desires to your GF, unless you've already come to at least a verbal agreement that you'll tickle her and nobody else. If you haven't made such an agreement, then proposing your idea of tickling outside the relationship becomes tantamount to asking her for permission. I recommend you carry on your extra-relational tickling without her knowing about it. Everybody wins.

Yeah everybody will be winning until the girlfriend finds out. I mean sure if he wants he try to keep it behind her back and hope she never finds out, then he can go that route . I am also going to assume that tickling is a turn on for him(Yeah I've heard the playful argument, but I personally feel that the non-sexual playful ticklers are in the minority on this site.). I know I personally wouldn't want to live my life keeping secrets from my significant other. Oh and I can already hear your side of the argument, "Well if he never discussed it with her then she has no right to get mad at him about it if she does find out." Yeah um no because in the end this will be him going behind his girlfriend's back to tickle someone else and therefore there will be trust issues. I personally feel the three main things every relationship needs to survive is communication, trust, and love.

 

[TKLVR18]

My advice is a little different from most of the others. I would strongly advise against communicating your wishes and desires to your GF, unless you've already come to at least a verbal agreement that you'll tickle her and nobody else. If you haven't made such an agreement, then proposing your idea of tickling outside the relationship becomes tantamount to asking her for permission. I recommend you carry on your extra-relational tickling without her knowing about it. Everybody wins.

This is an excellent way to END a relationship. Take it from somebody who's been in a very permissive marriage for the past seven years, communication is absolutely key to keeping up TRUST. Trust is the most important part of any relationship, and what DontAsk is saying would break that trust irreparably.

~K

 

[Sensualswitch10]

From the OP:

I have mentioned fantasies to the girl im dating that involves her and other girls tying me up and tickling me while im stripped naked plus other fantasies that involve her being pleasured by other girls and she loves the idea of all of them.

DAJT,
I think the "not telling soon to be girlfriend about fantasies" ship has sailed. Apparently he told her and she likes the idea which means she's quite the budding little kinkster. Also he said his fantasies include his soon to be gf, so to fulfill them she needs to be present and therefore aware of them.

Oxoforgotso, you are a lucky man! Live your dreams and for goodness sake include the soon to be gf! Or at least be FWTB with her for as long as it lasts!!!

 

[piyr]

From the OP:



DAJT,
I think the "not telling soon to be girlfriend about fantasies" ship has sailed. Apparently he told her and she likes the idea which means she's quite the budding little kinkster. Also he said his fantasies include his soon to be gf, so to fulfill them she needs to be present and therefore aware of them.

Oxoforgotso, you are a lucky man! Live your dreams and for goodness sake include the soon to be gf! Or at least be FWTB with her for as long as it lasts!!!

Wow. I'm so used to reading the "is it cheating" thread that I completely misread the op's question. My new answer is if it works for you guys then go for it!

 

[DontAskJusTckle]

Substitute the word 'tickle' for the word 'fuck' and then make your own choices.

Why would I want to do that? One might as well substitute the word 'day' with 'night.' And I've made my choices many years ago and never looked back.

Yeah everybody will be winning until the girlfriend finds out. I mean sure if he wants he try to keep it behind her back and hope she never finds out, then he can go that route . I am also going to assume that tickling is a turn on for him(Yeah I've heard the playful argument, but I personally feel that the non-sexual playful ticklers are in the minority on this site.). I know I personally wouldn't want to live my life keeping secrets from my significant other. Oh and I can already hear your side of the argument, "Well if he never discussed it with her then she has no right to get mad at him about it if she does find out." Yeah um no because in the end this will be him going behind his girlfriend's back to tickle someone else and therefore there will be trust issues. I personally feel the three main things every relationship needs to survive is communication, trust, and love.

Yes, you've pretty much guessed my argument, but I don't think you've fully grasped the logic behind it. Your counter argument suggests that even if there is no such agreement, there is somehow still an obligation on his part to operate as though there is; especially when you use phrases like "going behind his girlfriend's back."

This is an excellent way to END a relationship. Take it from somebody who's been in a very permissive marriage for the past seven years, communication is absolutely key to keeping up TRUST. Trust is the most important part of any relationship, and what DontAsk is saying would break that trust irreparably.

Obviously, I disagree. What you are describing as trust seems more to me like insecurity and the need to control. "You can't keep ANY secrets from me! I must know your every thought, action, location, and who you are with 24/7! And God help you if I catch you even LOOKING at another woman!"

I have a far different view of trust. My lady and I trust each other implicitly. That means we're both free to have friendships with other people and engage in nonsexual and unromantic activities; because we TRUST that at the end of the day, we are still committed both sexually and romantically to each other. This has worked for many years. As far as communication, I agree that it is key to a good relationship. But I disagree that good communication precludes keeping some things to yourself. For us, sharing our thoughts, feelings, and actions is voluntary, not mandatory. I find the idea of compulsory full disclosure to be distasteful to the extreme and indicative of a dysfunctional relationship. I would never require that of a partner, and I would not tolerate such a requirement from her.

DAJT,
I think the "not telling soon to be girlfriend about fantasies" ship has sailed. Apparently he told her and she likes the idea which means she's quite the budding little kinkster. Also he said his fantasies include his soon to be gf, so to fulfill them she needs to be present and therefore aware of them.

Yes, I confess I saw that later rather than sooner. Obviously, if he wants to include his girlfriend in his activities with other women, he must of course get her buy-in. I just hope he realizes that by doing so, he stands to lose a lot of opportunity for tickling outside the relationship while maintaining fidelity. But, to each his own. That's his call to make.

 

[porcelaindoll2]

Okay DontAskJusTckle I have one or two questions that will really clear up my understanding of you as a tickle guy. Is tickling not sexual to you? Do you not get turned on by tickling others(I.E. a boner) or do you only get turned on by tickling your significant other? If you do get turned on while tickling others do you try to get your sexual desires met as well or do you stop the tickling when you're wanting something other than tickling? I am also guessing you only tickle non-tickle fetishist and you're doing quick playful tickling VS a full on tying someone down and tickling them.

 

[LaurenLove]

Kudos to those who tell their significant other about the fantasies they have with other women. I'd always want to be tickle tortured and tied up by other men even though I'm currently in a relationship. But I can't always get what I want because his view on this matters to me.

 

[Wolf]

Kudos to those who tell their significant other about the fantasies they have with other women. I'd always want to be tickle tortured and tied up by other men even though I'm currently in a relationship. But I can't always get what I want because his view on this matters to me.

That's the beauty of being honest with your partner about what you want.
First, it means that it's not an adversarial relationship, where one person gets their rocks off at the expense of the other;
and Second, there are two people working together to make each other happy sexually, and that is a great thing indeed.
Of course, that takes seeing your partner as your partner, and not someone you're getting one over on. That seems like an awful way to spend a relationship, with someone you don't like that much.

 

[DontAskJusTckle]

Okay DontAskJusTckle I have one or two questions that will really clear up my understanding of you as a tickle guy. Is tickling not sexual to you? Do you not get turned on by tickling others(I.E. a boner) or do you only get turned on by tickling your significant other? If you do get turned on while tickling others do you try to get your sexual desires met as well or do you stop the tickling when you're wanting something other than tickling? I am also guessing you only tickle non-tickle fetishist and you're doing quick playful tickling VS a full on tying someone down and tickling them.

Suffice to say that tickling is a thrill for me, as well as being tickled. But it's not a sexual thrill unless it's performed in a sexual context - i.e. with nudity, contact with genitalia, mammalian protuberances, etc. But being gang-tickled by my sister in-law and/or nieces isn't sexual. In these nonsexual tickling scenarios, I don't get a boner, but I do get a thrill of an entirely different kind. Kind of like an endorphin rush. After all, it's a pretty intense sensation that I find totally addictive.

I've never gone for bondage of any kind. In my opinion, tickling is most interesting and effective when it's unanticipated. All these scenes in videos with bondage are so contrived, I usually end up laughing at the plots. "Hey, you bitch, you borrowed my dress without asking, so I'm going to spend 20 minutes restraining you on this contraption I just happen to keep around cause you just never know when you'll need something like that, and then I'm going to tickle you in front of a camera with feathers, forks, and...oh yeah, an electric toothbrush - which of course I'll never use to brush my teeth after that cause you know, ugh, gross!"

I do enjoy tickling strangers and getting tickled by them. In these cases it's almost always just a quick scrabble of the fingers or even just a poke, and never in or near a private area. That would be uncool. Tickling strangers is tricky business and for reasons I've mentioned in other threads, I don't do it unless I feel the situation warrants it. Most of the tickling I give and receive is between myself and female friends, family, and in-laws. Occasionally I get a massage or a pedicure and in those instances it's usually a simple matter to talk the professional into tickling me. But again, I don't manifest a boner or any other indication of arousal, so to them it's no big deal and more often than not, they enjoy the departure from the routine.

 

[Toesheldback]

If you tickle another girls feet who isn't the girl you are in a relationship with, then you got off on the wrong foot.....

 

[Sensualswitch10]

If you tickle another girls feet who isn't the girl you are in a relationship with, then you got off on the wrong foot.....

Love it!!!

 

[TLKishRedhead]

I think if you have a talk with your partner and they are find with it you should be fine, I mean I love it when my BF tickles another girl in front of me, or if we gang up on him.

 

[sweetkandy]

I'm in a relationship but I really wouldn't mind being tickled by another guy! He knows that I love being tickled but not quite to the extent that I do! In the future I'll probably bring that up to him and get more involved in it lol I haven't met up with anyone else yet for tickling but that's not sayin I wouldn't

 

[P[a]pi]

As long as your gf knows what you're doing, then I don't see anything wrong with it. But like others have said, your gf might want to explore others as well. And even if you both agree to a rule that you can play with others and she can't, don't be surprise if she wants to break that rule at some point.

In general though, I would hash out some rules or at least check if either of you want any. It's similar to hard limits. And of course if anybody wants to change a rule a some point, you just sit down and talk about it. After 5 to 10 years you might be okay with more, maybe less, it just depends.

 

[Myriads]

What this question comes down to is defining ones sexual relationship with your partner.

Are you exclusive, do you have an open relationship, do you have a conditionally open relationship? Do you have an unconditional open relationship? And so on and so forth.

The only thing that is required is communication. Like all relationship aspects, you and your partner sit down and discuss, and work out what works for both of you now, and remember that things might change, and leave the door open to further discussions if it does.

This is relationship 101. It works for vanilla sex, fetishes, what religion you raise your kid in, and even what movies you drag each other to watch. You have a discussion first.

Myriads