I've heard recently that while women are less visually stimulated than men in terms of what they look for in a mate, and can thus still find an ugly guy sexy if he has other things going for him, if the guy is fat that's a different story. Basically from what I've heard its because women feel a guy can only do so much about being ugly, but being fat (usually) is something he can control. And if he doesn't care enough to at least keep himself in reasonable shape, then he must have low self-esteem and all the baggage/issues that usually go with low self-esteem. Again, this is what I've heard as far as how women view fat/obese men. Any truth to it? As I read someone point out: there are dating services, magazines, etc that cater specifically to BBW's and the men who love/lust after them. When was the last time you heard of anything similar for fat men and the women who love/lust after them?
PS: of course all of this goes out the window if the guy is rich/powerful. I think it was Henry Kissinger who said "power is the ultimate aphrodesiac". But I'm concerned with the rest of us fat guys who aren't rich or powerful. I'm going to go eat something while I wait for some responses.
Hiya RMOG, and friends!
Wow, there is some great insight in this thread! Everyone has some very interesting points to make.
But you know, being half caucasian, I have been the victim of prejudice in dating relationships before. And it hurts like hell. I mean really burns you inside when you find out that the way you are is what turns a guy off.
And yet, the experience has given me lots to think about. And while I totally have no time for prejudice in terms of job selection, citizenship, and general fair treatment in society, when it comes to things like who turns me on, I have to admit I find it baffling when men and women complain about who does not find them attractive.
I just don't get it.
😕
The only thing I would ever say is that, in my experience at least, most men and women I have known discovered through dating that whatever trait the noticed on the surface at first (from physical appearance to perceived character) proved to be less than the whole picture of the other person. Guys who were not so cute turned out to be incredibly funny and full of confidence. Guys who were tortured souls turned out to be awesome kissers. and so on.
In the end, we have to accept that some of us simply find some outward or inward traits (interests, sense of humour, confidence, social standing etc) initially attractive and some things a turn off. it's totally personal and often quite emotional.
But in my experience, as long as you basically trust the person it's always worth going on a date or three - even with someone outside that inital comfort zone - just to see if there isn't a gem hiding in the rough. What's the worst that could happen?
--As for what the best is? Well, as a wedding consultant I can not tell you the number of stories I've heard about guys and women who discovered true love in someone to whom they at first would not even give a second glance!
I hope that adds something to this rich thread!
🙂
Many blessings,
chickles
Ask 'round here about me and see 😉 ... Actually I have a dear pal back from my days of working in TV~she was on production for AVN in Vegas and I got to attend, he is such a cool cat!
