Can you take a compliment?

[TicklishLurker]

I can't. (Yeah, like you couldn't tell.) Maybe it's because I don't want to appear vain. Or maybe it's because of my low self esteem. Maybe it's both. I just know that if someone compliments me (on anything other then my singing - especially if they compliment my looks) I have to right away put myself down. If my hair is nicely set and combed and someone says something, I have to say "I feel like a poodle." If someone says I'm pretty I have to point out that I'm fat therefore I'm ugly. (No arguing this point, BTW, this is NOT a "make Jami feel better" thread. I will never accept myself as attractive so just drop it. This is a question about YOU and if YOU can accept a compliment.)

I know I'm not the only one. Other people seem quick to dismiss the positive and embrace the negitive.

So can you? Can you just take a compliment? Or do you instinctively fire back a missile at it, blowing it out of the sky? Even if it hurts the complimenter....

 

[Tamia78]

I don't take compliments very well, no. I always think that people are just saying it to patronize me. Low self esteem has something to do with it, I'm sure.

--T

 

[giantfan121262]

I think alot of people like to be complemented but, at the same time, don't want to appear egotistical. I know that I definitely fall into that category. If someone complements me, I just respond with a very sincere "thank you". I think that it the best way to approach it. If they continue the conversation, I just give a modest "It's part of my job" (If it's a business situation), or just give a modest reply, if it's something non business related (it depends on what the compliment is).

 

[OnnaOtaku]

I don't take them well. But I learned to just say thanks. Depends on who's saying it. Sometimes I can be very vain and other times the exact opposite. Depends.

But I'm getting more comfortable with compliments lately.

 

[Angel_2]

When someone gives me a compliment I just say Thanks and move on

 

[TicklishLurker]

For those of you who say you say "Thank you" and move on - what about what goes on inside? Do you accept it or do you think deep down that the complimenter is either an idiot or pities you?

 

[4Pawz]

I don't take them very well. It depends who is giving the compliment, and what it is for. I think one of the big reasons I don't take them well, is because I really don't like for people to look at me. One of the few things that can annoy me and fast. So if they are commenting on my looks, that means someone is looking at me! Blerg!

Pawz

 

[Moses25]

I dunno. I've never been given a compliment.

Altogether now..."Awwwww."

heehee.

Cheers.

 

[Moses25]

I don't take them very well. It depends who is giving the compliment, and what it is for. I think one of the big reasons I don't take them well, is because I really don't like for people to look at me. One of the few things that can annoy me and fast. So if they are commenting on my looks, that means someone is looking at me! Blerg!

Pawz

Pawzy, I think yer gorgeous with big sweet, smelly feet. Just the way I like 'em.

Howzzat fer flattery?

Cheers.

 

[Celtic_Emperor]

Interesting thread. I'm also in a perfect position to explain how this works usually.

See, I'm an artist (if you don't already know that from my past contributions). As an artist I am used to getting compliments all the time, so its just become second nature to accept compliments toward my art, even though these represent tangible compliments based on my skills, talent, and experience, rather than me as a person and human being.

The compliments are as thorough or as vague and effortless as the people who post them to me (for the sake of this conversation, we're excluding real-life compliments in person in regards to my art and me as a person, my looks, etc).

The most common compliments include but are not limited to: "great", "excellent", "awesome" "totally cool", etc.

Others, are more discriptive and really make an attempt to state why I'm being complimented and in what regard specifically. "I love the way the emotion is carried through her body language, you're really good with that in your pictures" etc.

I suppose you could say that, for me, I'll accept any compliment online, since I'm not in a position to measure the sincerity of the compliment or the depth of it's meaning when its a short "love it!".

Needless to say, I do, of course, appriciate a thorough compliment as its specific enough as a compliment and allows me to appriciate it because of it's discriptive nature. Its far easier to accept these right away because the sincerity is apparent.

In cases where sincerity of the compliment is not apparent, I'll accept it at face value. In cases where I suspect the person is lying or just trying to butter me up then I superficially accept the compliment but don't take anything from it.

So, to answer the question, yes, I can take a compliment, especially if its one I would want or one I expect I may be getting in cases where its obvious what I'll complimented on (in which case, I'd be looking forward to the compliment).

 

[isabeau]

i usually do something to add to it..like someone will say..you have very nice legs..i'll say yea but look at my arms...or you have a great smile, and i'll say thanks, but my teeth aren't perfectly straight...anything i get complimented on, i add on somehow to put myself down..but i'm trying to stop that and just say thanks..

 

[His Divine Shadow]

We love you, Moses. 😀

I seem to be following the trend here when I say that no, I cannot. I've never needed assurances from anyone else about anything that I do (Partly due to a total lack of self-esteem and partly due to not much caring about the opinions of others. 😀), and compliments have thus always seemed more of a waste of time than anything else.

 

[DannyMc]

I give compliments and receive compliments , it's all fine with me , to accent things I get put down too , I take it all in stride , it's just the way it goes ........

 

[The Sean Man]

In my line of work, I get complimented all the time. After someone compliments me, I quickly throw in some self-deprecating humor to show that I don't take my "greatness" too seriously

 

[storyteller]

Sincerely offered compliments are always appreciated, whether I agree with them at any given moment or not. At minimum, they show that someone else gives a damn about something other than themselves. I may simply say, “thank you,” or I may thank the person and ask a question that allows them to expand on their opinion. I like to give compliments too, but I will not lie. I don’t tend to give compliments to people who expect them because they usually have oversized egos that I have no interest in feeding further.

 

[Helena]

Compliments?
Through life experience, I've discovered that there are different kinds of compliments. I've been the victim of the compliment disguised as an insult. For example, if I am having a disorganized day for some reason, and I am not looking all that good, or I am the victim of a bad haircut, I've been told that my hair looks great or that someone likes my outfit. Usually though, it comes from someone who is glad I'm having a problem, and wants to point it out passive aggressively. 😱
On the other hand, if someone is saying something nice to me because they genuinely want to, I welcome that.

 

[Saeria]

As an artist I am used to getting compliments all the time, so its just become second nature to accept compliments toward my art, even though these represent tangible compliments based on my skills, talent, and experience, rather than me as a person and human being.

[...]

So, to answer the question, yes, I can take a compliment, especially if its one I would want or one I expect I may be getting in cases where its obvious what I'll complimented on (in which case, I'd be looking forward to the compliment).

Eeek, you do far better than i do if you can gracefully accept a compliment on your works.

 

[4Pawz]

LOL thanks Moses, I love you too 😛

Generally, yes, I say thank you and try to move on, depending upon the situation and who it is. Sometimes I just clam up when it's a huge group and my entire face turns fire engine red lol. If it's a friend, and I know they are doing it for a reaction, I usually slap them with a fish and move on lol.

Inside, it generally feels good to get the compliment, but I am a perfectionist. So generally in my mind, I could have done it better, even though most of the time I know I either did the best I possibly could, or it actually is perfect lol.

Hi, my name is Pawz, and I have a corncob up my caboose 😀

 

[kered]

When someone gives me a compliment I just say Thanks and move on

Same here. I don't dwell on the persons possible motive for saying it. Sometimes I return the compliment. Civility costs me nothing.

 

[Capnmad]

For those of you who say you say "Thank you" and move on - what about what goes on inside? Do you accept it or do you think deep down that the complimenter is either an idiot or pities you?

Well, anyone is going to reject anything that to them sounds unrealistic. That's the way it is with compliments as well. If you have low or no self-esteem, you cannot envision yourself as desirable or attractive. I can't tell you the number of physically attractive young women I've met whom I've told so, and are unwilling or unable to accept it, because they cannot believe it. In these circumstances, it's not unreasonable to believe they thereafter regard the complimenter with suspicion as the complimenter has just offered them what they perceive as a flattering falsehood, and so, he must have ulterior motives...

Myself? I can envision myself as attractive, personable, friendly, affable, and in certain circumstances, outgoing. I'm not these things all the time, but I know that I can be, and so, I accept compliments pretty well and with no suspicion of the complimenter -- provided the compliments are congruent to the range of my self-perception. That's the key to accepting compliments, as it is with any data -- the degree to which it is congruent with perecption. But if someone started calling me some great Adonis or some crap, I'd know they're pulling my leg, and more than likely are being sarcastic, not an idiot or pitying -- though the way in which they deliver the compliment would largely dictate how it is interpreted...

 

[primetime]

compliments can be awkward as you truly dont know what to say, but i dont mind them. if someone tells me that i am physically attractive, it makes me feel good and i usually reply "thank you". i already have a humble outlook on myself and wont have an ego. because if i was really super attractive, Salma Hayek would be in my bed right now. i personally think i am an attractive guy, but definitely not "super attractive" or "ugly". i'm in the middle.

if someone compliments my personality, again it does feel good as i always like to make people feel good. i thank them and go about the conversation. i guess i have good self esteem about myself as i know i am a good person, who loves to be around people. i also like to give compliments as well. why hide them?

 

[Mr.Tickler]

Though not a mind-reader, my BS guage is pretty good, so it depends on how well-meant and honest the given compliment is.

 

[jersey_tickler]

Well said Prime

Listen to Prime, Lurker, you might learn a lot from him and not even realize it. Sometimes, he reminds me of Mace Windu, and he is a bad motherf##### when it comes to writing.

Oh and btw: that was a Star Wars reference, for all you poor trekkies that believe in Spock instead of the force.

 

[TicklishLurker]

Though not a mind-reader, my BS guage is pretty good, so it depends on how well-meant and honest the given compliment is.

I suppose I should've been clearer.

I don't mean compliments you know are BS. I'm talking about can you take a sincere, legit compliment? Or do you do what I do and throw it back in peoples' faces, even if it hurts them?

 

[Mr.Tickler]

I suppose I should've been clearer.

I don't mean compliments you know are BS. I'm talking about can you take a sincere, legit compliment? Or do you do what I do and throw it back in peoples' faces, even if it hurts them?

If its a "sincere, legit,compliment", why would I wanna hurt said the person? Nope.I tend to just be grateful for it.And like I said, my BS meter is accurate enough.