• If you would like to get your account Verified, read this thread
  • The TMF is sponsored by Clips4sale - By supporting them, you're supporting us.
  • >>> If you cannot get into your account email me at [email protected] <<<
    Don't forget to include your username

Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, but deflecting them, JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
 
If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
 
When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever.
 
Chuck Norris has a technique called the "Quart of Blood" Technique, in which he stares at his opponent intenseley and says "(insert opponent's name here), Time to DIE"... A quart of blood will immediately fall out of the opponent through any available orifice...
 
You guys are silly!

Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard.
 
A man once taunted Chuck Norris with a bag of Lay's potato chips, saying "Betcha can't eat just one!" Chuck Norris proceeded to eat the chips, the bag, and the man in one deft move.
 
There are four legal methods of execution in the US: lethal injection, electric chair, gas chamber and Chuck Norris.

The movie 'Armaggedon' is based on actual events involving Chuck Norris. The only major difference is that the comet was actually destroyed with a roundhouse kick.

Chuck Norris is not only a noun, but a verb.

and finally...

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could Chuck Norris?

Snail Shell
 
Chuck Norris sent Jesus a birthday card on December 25th and it wasnt Jesuss birthday. Jesus was too scared to correct Chuck Norris and to this day December 25th is known as Jesus birthday.
 
Good one, Snail! Terror...you have to stop...can't quit laughing!

Chuck Norris appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch."
 
Chuck Norris once got bit by a werewolf and the werewolf turned into another Chuck Norris under the full moon.
 
The Noid avoids Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris trains by boxing against his shadow. He has never lost.

Chuck Norris' official barbeque sauce has been said to break the speed of taste.

Superman wears Chuck Norris PJ's to bed.

Chuck Norris was actually the fourth wise man in The Bible. His gift to Jesus was 'The Beard' which Jesus proudly wore until the day he died. The other wise men were so jealous of this obvious favoritism to Chuck Norris' gift that they had him written out of The Bible.

I'm sure I'll come up with more at some point.

Snail Shell
 
chuck norris engaged in a fight with david carradine in the movie "lone wolf mcquade", and it was interesting to see a classic karate vs. kung fu match up. peace........BLUE_THUNDER
 
To prove it isn't that big of a deal to beat cancer. Chuck Norris smoked 15 cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and aquired 7 different kinds of cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes. Beat that, Lance Armstrong.
 
chuck norris appeared as a villain in a classic bruce lee movie. peace........BLUE_THUNDER
 
Chuck Norris owns the greatest poker face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 world series of poker despite him holding just a joker, a 2 of clubs, a 7 of spades, and a green number 4 from Uno and a monopoly 'get out of jail free' card.
 
chuck norris used a flamethrower in the movie "missing in action 2". peace........BLUE_THUNDER
 
Chuck Norris was walking one day and had his foot stepped on accidently by a blind man. Chuck Norris said, "Do you know who I am?! I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name restored the blind man's vision.

Snail Shell
 
Chuck Norris’s penis is so big that it has a penis of its own and it is still bigger than yours.
 
How many Chuck Norrises does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two, 1 to hold the bulb, and 1 to roundhouse kick the building to spin it.
 
When Chuck Noris jumps in a pool he dosen’t get wet, water gets Chuck Noris.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
What's New
12/19/25
We appreciate when you point Spam on the forum out. Click the report button on the lower left of a post to do so.

Door 44
Live Camgirls!
Live Camgirls
Streaming Videos
streaming tickling videos on demand at the TMF!
Tickling videos on demand!
Pic of the Week
Pic of the Week
Congratulations to
*** brad1701 ***
 The winner of our weekly Trivia, held every Sunday night at 11PM EST in our Chat Room
Back
Top