Man, the stupidity of sensationalist media never ceases to amaze me.
If you get ten forensic experts in the same room together, nine will unanimously vote on suicide and idiocy will compel the tenth to disagree.
"Well, we are all in agreeance here. Kurt Cobain died of a self inflicted gunshot wound."
"Now, now now. Let's not be too hasty."
"Johnson, we have already been over this. All evidence points to suicide."
"Oh, yes. The..."Evidence." Well, let's look at this so-called "evidence" shall we? When he was found, the police stated that his purple curtains were closed in his bedroom. Does nobody else find this just a little convenient? I mean, seriously, why on earth would a rock star buy purple curtains that were closed?"
"Johnson, for the love of go--"
"Not only that, but unlike the rest of you slackers, I have decided to call in some outside help. All the hollywood psychiatrists I have talked to on my cell phone in the last five minutes both agreed that it is IMPOSSIBLE that Kurt would have comitted suicide in his own bedroom. Judging by his emotional state, manic behaviour, and hair colour, the only place he would have ever comitted suicide would be on the Kremlin spire wearing green jean shorts! And let's not forget Courtney Love."
"Johnson, We have sixty three eye-witnesses that can place Ms. Love's whereabouts three hours before, during, and after the suicide."
"Yes. I find that just a little too convenient. Don't you think it's rather odd that ALL sixty three people were just milling about downtown doing absolutely nothing or the fact that none of them happened not to know each other AND just so happened to tell the exact same story that they all witnessed her loaded on heroine an demonstrating her impersonation of a chicken tripping out on acid to a group of twenty school children. Let's also not forget the truck driver who just haaaapened to drive down the exact street that that Courtney love was hopping across and screaming "I'm lil bunny foo foo!" He claims he almost ran her over...A likely story. Not only that, but I think it's way too convenient that a group of Japanese tourists just decided to up and visit the U.S.A. for the first time in their entire lives and--AND-- just so happened to capture all of this on their cameras and camcorders all showing the EXACT date and time in each and every frame!"
"Johnson? Have you been drinki--"
"Oh, come off it! You all know as well as I do that this suicide charge is as rediculous and unfounded as that Frank Sinatra dying of old age crap!"
"Johnson. Perhapse we can talk about this later."
"NO!!! I will not be stifled and I don't care who I have to talk to to get the truth out. Montel or Oprah, or my new publisher at Random house, or even the Choen brothers!"
