Do you think it is "immoral" to convert someone to our fetish?

[GoForTheLaugh]

I have read with great interest the thread in which people discussed whether or not they would get rid of their fetish if they could:

http://www.ticklingforum.com/showthread.php?t=64413

I posted very politically, but I was glad to see an equal number of people who wanted to get rid of it or wanted to keep it.

Since so many of us (including me) are unhappy with it even though we find ways to indulge and enjoy it, the "morality" of "converting" otherwise vanilla people who did not grow up with this fetish came to my mind.

I really don't have an opinion on this one. On the one hand, it would be cool if a guy I knew were also into it, as none of the friends who know about my interest shares it. On the other hand, is it right to introduce people to a fetish that is hard to satisfy and that can make them miserable when they already have fulfilling sex lives?

 

[unit5610]

My thought is that people either have this interest or they don't much like you have your preferences, which I respect, and I have mine on different aspects of what we do. Sometimes we match, sometimes we don't. I think as adults we know what our preferences are and make our decisions as to how active we are in pursing them.
Now, introducing someone to this forum who shows an interest in tickling is a different story as it's a way of showing them that they are not alone. But I'm not comfortable with the idea of "converting" people to anything unless they sincerely find pleasure in it because they're in a relationship with you and know that this is a part of who you are.

 

[HisFlyinFingers]

It really depends on how successful you are in your conversion. If you find yourself a lee (or ler) who sees tickling as fun foreplay, it's no big deal. If he or she later runs into other partners who don't like it (read: crazy people ), I'd imagine they'd find some other activites to enjoy.

If your partner discovers the intense feelings that many of us here have, I would still consider it a victory, if a Pyrrhic one. Tickling is an experience that doesn't really match up with other things; if you find someone with whom you can share that, even for a short time, I think both of you will at the least happy about your time together. And, hey, they can always join the TMF!

 

[dtrell]

GFTL, it seems to me that you have a HUGE problem with the fact that you have this fetish. am i wrong?

 

[TMF Jeff]

I think that when any two people get together they have to find a way to share their various sexual interests, and ours is no better or worse, more or less moral, than any other.

 

[R. Davis]

I share, unit5610 views on this subject!

 

[GoForTheLaugh]

GFTL, it seems to me that you have a HUGE problem with the fact that you have this fetish. am i wrong?

I have been honest about that from the get go. I do feel a lot better about it since I joined this board last spring, however. At the time, only one good friend of mine knew and two others had vague hints. Now I have told a number of people who I knew would take it well while not telling those I knew would not think kindly of it. It feels good not to have to hide my dirty little secret any longer.

For the past few months, I have thought it would be cool to introduce others to the fetish, something I have read about here. After reading that many others on this board wish they did not have the fetish, however, I question the wisdom of introducing a behavior to someone if it could make him or her unhappy.

Of course, that is not the same as introducing someone already hard wired to having this fetish (like me) to the board or tickle play. That is a good thing.

I am instead talking about people who have posted that they had never had this fetish until they were in their 20s, 30s, or whatever and a ticklephile taught them the ropes.

 

[Ray<3tiklishft]

I'm glad you used the word 'introduce' as opposed to when you used the word 'convert'.

In any serious relationship that I've had with a girl (someone I've been seeing for more than a week), I sort of 'Introduced' them to my fetish of tickling their feet. After explaining that "I just have a fetish for ticklish feet", they understood and pretty much let me have my way. All but one enjoyed it, the one couldn't really take it. But I didn't see a 'conversion' on their part. They did it pretty much to satisfy me. I "showed them the ropes" as you put it.

I guess I'm saying that, for them, they loved when I tickled their feet, but probably would not have anyone else do it because it was my thing.

I have yet to meet a female Lee that shares a my fetish for tickling. (Sorry for the one-sidedness, Ladies. I'm not selfish, just a Ler.)

 

[lk70]

I don't think it's immoral at all. Really, I don't think it's possible to "convert" someone. You either have it or you don't- it could be laying dormant I suppose, undiscovered as of yet. If that's the case, I think they'll figure it out sooner or later with or without you. If you just introduce someone to it and they enjoy it because it pleases you, then they won't have the "agony" some seem to have when they aren't able to indulge.

 

[tickledorange]

I don't think it's wrong, as long as it's done consentually. Most people will make up their minds either way about it when you tell them, so if they really don't want to do it, they won't.

 

[marcusb]

...........

 

[some1somewhere]

Convert? Hey the more the merrier! Do I get the toaster?

Seriously, I'm not really sure it is possible to convert, I think either one has it or not. Some might have it and not know it. I also think that there has to be a distintion between one that enjoys the action but more as a responce to the spouse, and one is arroused by thought of the action. I'm not sure what that distintion needs to be, but it occured to be it is there.

 

[lite]

Good question!

As someone who was introduced to tickling, I don't think that it can easily be categorized as "right" or "wrong" to introduce someone to the lifestyle. lk70 had an interesting perspective: tickling may have simply been something that was an undiscovered passion waiting to be brought out. I also think tickledorange has a valid point: as long as it's consensual, I don't think engaging in tickling is a harmful thing to request of someone (I've certainly had worse done to me).

I must admit that I don't have the same perspective as many others in the community. I did not grow up knowing that I loved tickling, so I also didn't have the stress (even agony, according to some who have posted here and in similar threads) of coming of age with the added burden of a fetish/paraphilia. I have, however, always felt that I was different from other people, that I never fit in anywhere, so I can empathize with people who feel that way.

Besides, if I hadn't been introduced to this, I wouldn't have met my dearest kwil, and I wouldn't have met the wonderful friends I have here. In the end, it IS, as Mr. D.V.N.C. says, all about the love.

 

[steph]

I think it's maybe case by case sweetheart. Someone fun, laid back and open to trying new things would probably be willing to at least try for you, if the feelings were there, yanno?
Some one more prude-like might be a bigger challenge...I wouldn't think of in terms of moral or immoral, IMHO.
XOXO

 

[Ayla ny]

there is the off chance that you could be doing them a favor. I didn’t make all of the connections until I was almost 30. I have often wondered how much more sense things would have made if I had met one of us earlier on in life instead of stumbling onto the answers, on my own, years later.

have to agree with the, “it’s either there or it’s not.” folks. and if they are just wanting to make you happy… then no harm done! not too hard to get over that.

 

[GoForTheLaugh]

there is the off chance that you could be doing them a favor. I didn’t make all of the connections until I was almost 30. I have often wondered how much more sense things would have made if I had met one of us earlier on in life instead of stumbling onto the answers, on my own, years later.

have to agree with the, “it’s either there or it’s not.” folks. and if they are just wanting to make you happy… then no harm done! not too hard to get over that.

This post, and Steph's, and others before them make sense. When I first came out of the closet (mid-20s), I hated everything about gay life. Now I love it and cannot imagine enjoying a non-gay life. Still, I wish I had been out much earlier.

Similarly, I am only just starting to stumble over answers to this fetish, and here I am a thirtysomething. If I had known a nice guy who was into tickling way back when, I might have had a completely different take today.

 

[stdave]

I think that as long as both parties enjoy the fetish and are not doing just to please the converter then I think it's all right.

 

[narin]

At the time, only one good friend of mine knew and two others had vague hints. Now I have told a number of people who I knew would take it well while not telling those I knew would not think kindly of it. It feels good not to have to hide my dirty little secret any longer.

This jumped out at me... how many people share their sexual preferences with anyone other than their sexual parterns??? I in NO way condemn this practice, but it never occurred to me that it would be a common one...

I've told my best friend, but that was only because I needed her help as a tickler 🙂 Otherwise I would never have bothered. I actually haven't even told any partners except my current one, but for some reason boys don't mind being tickled as long as the girl is nakey

Anyhoo, as for the conversion question, my answer would be heck no it's not immoral. But this is coming from a girl who holds the motto "All knowledge is worth having."

Attempting to prove to someone that a practice can be pleasurable (in this case tickling) is totally beneficial for them! If you keep pestering them after several refusals, then you're just an ass anyways, and probably don't give a flying duck whether or not you're being immoral. Hell, even if they WANT to like tickling, but don't, and ask for your help in acquiring the preference, I wouldn't even see dramatic measures like hypnosis to be immoral 🙂

EDIT: The TMF technically converted me, since I never knew there was such a thing as a tickling fetish before I found the Forum. Where's my freakin' cult initiation and ceremonial robe??? 😀

 

[mark 19]

No its not immoral just difficult to convert people 🙂

 

[TKL_M28_LI_NY]

No.

I don't think it's immoral. It's alot easier to convert someone to a 'ler than a 'lee though.

 

[Edge]

I don't consider having a "tickling fetish." I mean I guess I do but I just never think of it in that way. I just think its hot to tie up a girl and tickle torture her. But anyways I have used the net to meet new women and tell them about this "TMF" and the "Scenario" of being tied and tickled. Of course most of these young women never have heard of it and some of them do say "thats weird" when I tell them about it. But many others actually are very interested in what it's all about and they say they never knew that "that type of thing was out there." But then again I tell them...if you knew everything that was out there you'd be amazed. Feet, tickling, those are normal compared to...
other stuff lol.
Not to knock anyone's fetish but dead people, clowns, balloons? When I put the tickle torture thing against those other fetishes then the girls usually think its more normal to try being tied/tickled and they do admit some of them at least they would be interested in trying it. To answer your question I don't think its wrong at all to bring up the tickle torture thing and hopefully your with a girl who is openminded to try it and if she likes the experience then she's converted.

 

[Mitchell]

I wouldnt call it "immoral". I mean, let's face it, we have the fetish, and we admit it, and embrace it by coming here. When you talk about "conversion", there are many varying degrees.
Iam one who believes that partners in a consensual sexual relationship should at least attempt to understand, and be open minded, to their partner's preference, fetish, or "interest" as I like to call it. That being said, if you meet a significant other, who refuses to be a lee, because they absolutely, positively hate to be tickled, or want a ler who refuses to tickle you, because they dont enjoy tickling, or find it stupid, or pointless, then what can you do?
For me, I have a very strong tickling fetish, but an even stronger foot fetish. It is my hope to find a lee within the community who would enjoy being tickled, but, if I find someone out of the community, to me, it is more important that I be allowed to say, kiss their feet or such, even if tickling happened every once in a while. If I couldnt ever kiss their feet, that person, whoever she is, would be totally wrong for me, because I would completely have to ditch my two fetishes for her, not something Iam willing to do. If however, I met someone who was okay with having her feet paid attention to, and would be open to tickling sometimes, say during foreplay and or sex, I could probably live with that, even if it wasnt all the time. I would want to respect my partner's feelings, but yet have someone open minded enough to at least be willing to compromise on the fetishes with me. If I could find that, I would be satisfied.

Mitch

 

[cal_tickler]

No Way!

Definitly not immoral.

And I don't think that "some people have it, and some people don't". A better way to express that viewpoint is, "some people may find it appealing if it's presented in a way that's pleasurable and satifying to them." I've have a few experiences with introducing other women to my little world while ensuring that they're having a good time while being tickled. Please note: just like anything in life, it takes a little work (aaaaaahhhhh!!! the "w" word!) in order to sucessfully introduce an individual to tickling.

There are those out there who don't take the time to ensure that thier lee/ler they want to introduce is having a good time. Since tickling has sometimes gotten a bad wrap in society it's very important to go slow, be patient and make sure that your partner is having a good time. Only after s/he is comfortable with the whole tickling craze can the REAL fun begin!

Have fun tickling!

 

[luvgirlsfeet]

Personally i dont think it's immoral at all and the reason being is that tickling is extremely innocent fun for those who are tickling or being tickled and the more that do find that fetish inside them the better because with the way the world is now "Everyone" needs to laugh 😀