Do you think pro subs/switches/doms should be honest when they register here?

[dtrell]

This idea for a poll came up from a discussion in another thread. It is my opinion that when a pro sub/switch/dom registers on this forum and acts as if they are seriously into our fetish, that they should be honest about why they registered. i have no problem if they come on here just to try and scare up people to bring money and come for tickle sessions wherever they work, just say thats your purpose. i personally have dumped a LOT of money at LA dungeons and will continue to do so when the opportunity arises.
there have been many on here that have registered, posted for a month or two, and when the forum people stopped coming in with money, the posting and participation on here also stopped. i personally have conversed with two that when discussed about coming to a gathering, say at a rival dungeon or even at a members private home or hotel gathering, or meeting to chat or have a private session for no monetary gain, they have hidden behind some "contract" they have, which i guess contracts are allowed to take away constitutional rights of free association...although i didnt know contracts trumped rights.

so anyway the question is simple, answer yes if you agree that they should be honest about why the registered, or answer no if you are ok with them acting as if they are seriously interested in our fetish and only being interested in the monetary gain they can get from it. either way i am curious as to others opinions.

 

[jaba]

If a lady (or anybody, man or lady, for that matter, I guess) registers and becomes a member of a tickling forum, I usually presume that it is because they want involvement in some aspect of tickling....either they tickle, or want to be tickled, and if it happens to be to make money, so what? That lady still agrees to be tickled, and this is the "Tickling media forum", not the

"Tickling media forum exclusively for those who want to be tickled for free" forum....

Whether a person chooses to disclose here that they work at a play club is really THEIR business, not mine, and quite frankly, I have a life that is too busy for me to be worrying about whether someone here chooses to disclose to all of us that they tickle clients, or get tickled by clients, as a way to pay their bills.....

I am interested in their insight on tickling, if they choose to offer their opinion, but they are under no obligation to do so, or to offer anything, for that matter, as a condition of membership in the TMF, unless I misunderstand the policy....

And you say you have "been around here a long time", but if you truly knew anything about bdsm play clubs, you would know that play outside the club is a pretty serious violation of club rules for employees, and they are subject to be fired for doing so, in many cases.....some ladies do play away from the club, and that is THEIR choice, but realistically, most ladies are not going to risk their employment for some free tickle play with some "one time pay client" who wants a "freebie".....

The bdsm club community is a smaller clique than you are aware of, and all it takes is for the wrong person to see some club lady at another venue, or hotel, and then a rumor gets out that she may be seeing clients on the side, and then she's fired at that club, and perhaps even blackballed at other local bdsm clubs at which she seeks employment, if that rumor persists....

So, in answer to the question, no, I don't think (or really care, I have too many other more important issues going on) that a pro bdsm employee should have to disclose that fact, any more than a tickle fetish artist who sells art, or bondage equipment, should have to disclose their respective occupations here......if they have ideas on tickling which can benefit our community, and they choose to offer insight, that's all I really care about....

But its also their right and priviledge to just "lurk" here, if they choose....no TMF "disclosure clause".......

And no lady bdsm employee is going to risk getting fired over your interpretation of a "free speech and association" issue....

 

[dtrell]

thank you for your opinion on the matter. all opinions are welcome. to each their own. of course youre the only no vote so far, so we will see how it plays out. and i would explain why i disagree with each of your points, but ill simply say that i disagree with the entire post and leave it at that.

 

[Capnmad]

I'll abstain from voting because, respectfully, I think you're just stirring a pot for no good reason, and the question is kind of loaded in that those disagreeing with you are tainted with the appearance of not caring about honesty -- which is a matter I actually feel quite adamantly about, and yet, I find room to disagree with you.

Should people be honest, no matter who they are? Sure! I'd love that they would be, but it's not a perfect world. You'll have truthtellers, liars and deceivers of other stripes in between.

That said, should everyone be welcome here and afforded a certain level of default courtesy, respect and perhaps even benefit of the doubt until or unless you come to know better? Yes.

I had a lovely chat last evening with the young woman who inspired your thread -- and maybe that makes me biased -- but what business is it of yours that she or anyone else decided to come here? If she tells you, fine. If not, too bad. And some paranoiacs will always doubt the answer regardless. Should people be honest? Yeah, that'd be great. Will it happen that everyone will be honest in our lifetime if we debate the "shoulds" and "should nots" long enough? No, so what's the point? Bottom line, if you take the time to get to know a person well enough, you'll probably be able to discern the reasons eventually yourself.

I'll afford her the same courtesy, understanding and respect -- and yes, even benefit of the doubt -- I afford every person who reciprocates the same. No matter who they are or what their profession.

 

[dtrell]

another fine opinion. thank you. i disagree with most of it, but appreciate you posting. id love to hear other's views.

 

[jaba]

jaba, the only "no vote", replies......

thank you for your opinion on the matter. all opinions are welcome. to each their own. of course youre the only no vote so far, so we will see how it plays out. and i would explain why i disagree with each of your points, but ill simply say that i disagree with the entire post and leave it at that.

please refer to my reply in post #33 of the "feedback on L A dungeons" thread, in this forum, to find out what I think of your poll, and it's results..... 🙂

 

[dtrell]

refer to post #32 in the same thread for my reply

 

[sole seeker]

I voted no.

To me, the big issue is anonymity. I think everyone deserves to have it, especially on a forum like this one. After all, it's not like you're going to receive a bill after corresponding on line with them.

Of course, that's just my opinion. I could be wrong.

 

[DEEPSHOTONE]

In response to Jaba....

If a lady (or anybody, man or lady, for that matter, I guess) registers and becomes a member of a tickling forum, I usually presume that it is because they want involvement in some aspect of tickling....either they tickle, or want to be tickled, and if it happens to be to make money, so what? That lady still agrees to be tickled, and this is the "Tickling media forum", not the

"Tickling media forum exclusively for those who want to be tickled for free" forum....

....

I totally agree with Dtrel on this topic.
I dont think this has anything to do with someone's profession, I think it has more to due with the persons intention. I don't have anything think against escorts or people who engage in "play for pay". As a matter of fact I have used this option on quite a few occations and have encouraged many people on this site to do the same. But just like everyone here on the forum, I want to be in a relationship with someone I can share experiences without money hanging over my head. For expample: I belong to an adult themed website where you can search through profiles for the type of person and activities you're looking for. This website is for people who want to hook up without any money being exchanged. I have frequently come accross women who advertise "play for pay" on their profile. Last month I sent a woman an e-mail and politly asked her to remove her profile from the website. I explained to her that if she was an escort there were plenty of websites that she could advertise her services on. ie... Eros.com, cityvibe.com, or even Craigslist. After a few "who the fuck are you" response's she understood my point and removed her profile. In my opinion she shouldn't have been on this particular site. There is nothing more frustating then to meet someone online, make a connection and find out later that you have to pay them in order to "get to know them better". Remember guys, I live in Vegas. If I wanted to have a tickling session with an escort or Dom really don't have to look that hard. This town has mobile billboards for escorts that run up and down the Strip for goodnees sake! If there are people on this site that are offering "pay for play" all I ask is that they be upfront about it. Dont hide behind your screen name. Make your intentions clear...

 

[The Last Laugh]

I don't see why anyone should have to explain the specific reasons why they're hanging around the forum, registered or not. Nor do I feel that not doing so is being dishonest. If they're here in the hopes of making money, that's fine (as you say yourself, dtrell). Also, if they're not particularly interested in tickling per se, well, that's too bad, but does it really make a difference if they don't advertise that fact her on the TMF? As long as they don't cause trouble, anyone is welcome here. I like to think that we don't practice discrimination here, just because someone isn't a ticklephile. We might wonder why they're here, or be a bit bugged at the idea that someone is hoping to do tickling-related business while not being into tickling themselves (I admit I'm not fond of that idea myself), but basically there's nothing wrong with it. Everyone is entitled to their privacy and can be here for whatever reasons, without having to explain them.

Besides, if they offer a tickling-related service that turns out to be interesting for people into tickling, what's wrong with that? It involves tickling, after all, and that's what this forum is about. If their services aren't good, or if the customers don't like that the services are being offered by people who aren't into tickling themselves, they just won't pay for their services anymore and the word will spread. It's as simple as that.

You mention registered people who've been here for a month or two and stopped posting when it wasn't useful for business anymore. I don't see the problem. Being a registered TMF member doesn't imply a life-long dedication to the forum. Everyone is free to leave or to stop posting anytime they want. Some very prominent members have done it in the past, for whatever reasons, so why not businesses? What about lurkers? Should they be kicked out because they don't post anything? Or should it be required of them to post a special message explaining that their reason for being here is to enjoy the forums' content without actively participating?

Dtrell, there's something I don't understand about your point. You say you're ok with people coming here hoping to get some business. You also say that you're ok with it even if they're not specifically interested in tickling (as long as their business involves tickling in some way, I assume). Now, how exactly would it make a difference if they made an official announcement about their personal preferences regarding tickling? It's not like they're going to lie about their activities and attract helpless victims with false promises of tickling.

Hmm, now that I'm reading the replies more carefully, it seems that a lot of what I just said is very similar to what Jaba said before me, and he presented his arguments in a more articulate way than I did. He also obviously knows more about this than I do. Oh well, at the risk of being redundant, I'm submitting my reply anyway, since I've already typed it.

 

[jaba]

I totally agree with Dtrel on this topic.
I dont think this has anything to do with someone's profession, I think it has more to due with the persons intention.

I still don't understand how you and dtrell's beliefs and opinions somehow create a "requirement", (or even a "moral obligation", for that matter) that a pro bdsm employee "provide a list", or an "explanation", of their intentions here on the TMF? If you were a professional tickling fetish artist, and you "intended" to sell fetish art here, does that mean you have to, or should, "explain your motivations" before offering your ideas and insight on a topic here about "fetish art styles", or "famous fetish artists"?

But just like everyone here on the forum, I want to be in a relationship with someone I can share experiences without money hanging over my head.

"just like everyone here on the forum", you say? with all due respect, thats a pretty BIG presumption, on your part, to speak for everyone here on the forum....

I'm not "looking to be in a relationship" here, and I think I can reasonably assume that I am not the only one here in that situation.....there are many committed couples that are here on this forum, as well as individuals NOT looking for a "relationship"....some may just want to talk tickling, or lurk and listen to the ideas of others about the subject....should you be "required" or do you have a "moral obligation" to disclose to everyone here your desire for a "relationship", before you post about your thoughts on, say, "feather tickling"?

you say you are "looking to be in a relationship"....should you be "required", or do you have a "moral obligation", before you can join our forum, to tell 45 thousand folks here, who never asked you, and many who don't even care, that you are looking for a relationship, and that is your motivation for being here? Only after that disclosure should you be allowed to post your ideas here? And if you do not choose to do so are you being "dishonest"?.....or is it really just none of our business?

For expample: I belong to an adult themed website where you can search through profiles for the type of person and activities you're looking for. This website is for people who want to hook up without any money being exchanged. I have frequently come accross women who advertise "play for pay" on their profile. Last month I sent a woman an e-mail and politly asked her to remove her profile from the website. I explained to her that if she was an escort there were plenty of websites that she could advertise her services on. ie... Eros.com, cityvibe.com, or even Craigslist. After a few "who the fuck are you" response's she understood my point and removed her profile. In my opinion she shouldn't have been on this particular site.

Ah, sir, but there is a BIG distinction between your "adult themed website for people who want to "hook up without any money being exchanged", and The TMF, created to share ideas and interactions regarding tickling.....are there "hook ups" on this site?, of course there are, but I think very few would describe this place as a site primarily for "non monitary hook ups"....there are so many other nuances and categories here....in my opinion, there are very few similarities between the website you describe, and the TMF....I don't think this place is in existence primarily for "searching through profiles"....

and if a pro bdsm employee wanted to join this place with the express intent to watch tickle clips for ideas on how to be a better tickler with her clients, even clients that she may meet here, I still don't understand why you and dtrell think she should have to "make her intentions known to all of us" before she becomes a member? Again, with all due respect, who the heck are you, or I, or dtrell, that we are so high and mighty here, that she should have to make her intentions" known to us?

There is nothing more frustating then to meet someone online, make a connection and find out later that you have to pay them in order to "get to know them better". Remember guys, I live in Vegas. If I wanted to have a tickling session with an escort or Dom really don't have to look that hard. This town has mobile billboards for escorts that run up and down the Strip for goodnees sake!

your "frustration" as extreme as it may be to you at times, still does not in fact create a "requirement", or even a "moral obligation" that a pro bdsm employee describe her "intentions" to you as a condition of membership on this forum.....

If there are people on this site that are offering "pay for play" all I ask is that they be upfront about it. Dont hide behind your screen name. Make your intentions clear...

you can find that out when you p m her and talk to her, IF she chooses to disclose that information to you.....but it's still her choice....

 

[The Last Laugh]

"just like everyone here on the forum", you say? with all due respect, thats a pretty BIG presumption, on your part, to speak for everyone here on the forum....

I'm not "looking to be in a relationship" here, and I think I can reasonably assume that I am not the only one here in that situation.....there are many committed couples that are here on this forum, as well as individuals NOT looking for a "relationship"....some may just want to talk tickling, or lurk and listen to the ideas of others about the subject

I totally agree, Jaba. In fact, I'm pretty sure you're describing the majority of people on the TMF. Most are just ordinary people who happen to enjoy tickling. The thought of having actual tickling experiences with other people here might be pleasant to them, but I doubt it's the specific reason why they've registered as TMF members. Sure isn't my case, anyway. I'm interested in tickling, and the TMF has a lot of relevant resources, that's all.

Oh, well, there's my video business, of course, so I may not be the best example. But outside of the shoots I don't have anything that could be considered an "active tickling life". I don't do any tickling at all in my everyday life, actually, and that's fine by me.

Is it possible for the search for and the living of tickling relationships and experiences to become such an important and normal part of one's life that one assumes that it's pretty much the same for most of the tens of thousands of members on a forum? I just can't imagine that.

 

[dtrell]

as the original poster of this thread, i am requesting that once someone has posted their opinion, please refrain from further posting and reiterating it. it just clogs the thread with unnecessary posts between people that are never going to agree. jaba, please stop replying to EVERYONE that may post here and agree with me. anyone else, please dont post and reply to jaba that you AGREE after youve already posted your opinion. people lets please limit this thread to votes and to let people have their own opinion and leave it at that. jaba your opinion is WELL KNOWN on this. its enough ok? you notice that i did not post BASHING last laugh? he has his opinion, i have mine, let it be. please people, one vote, one post with an opinion and then lets move on. noone is going to change anyones mind by restating their opinion in 30 threads over and over, including this one. and PLEASE STOP POSTING THAT WE THINK IT SHOULD BE A FORUM REQUIREMENT. WE DO NOT. ALL PEOPLE ON MY SIDE ARE SAYING IS THAT THEY SHOULD BE HONEST AS HUMAN BEINGS, NOT THAT IT SHOULD BE A FORUM RULE. please remember that "should" and "shall" are two totally different words and mean totally different things.
now lets end the "you guys want to be forum police" posts now. the mods run this forum, and they say that people can be dishonest through their teeth on here and they dont care and i am fine with that. this is the internet; people are dishonest, hide behind fake names, hide their intentions, act like things they are not, etc etc etc...i KNOW THIS.
i am simply at this point asking for peoples OPINIONS and nothing more.

 

[The Last Laugh]

So if we disagree (or agree) with someone's opinion, we should not enter a possibly constructive discussion because we've already expressed our opinion? You get one shot and then you're out?

Each person's contribution can bring up new issues and arguments that can inspire additional useful comments from people who've already posted. And so forth. That's the kind of exchange I thought a discussion forum was all about.

By the way, it's true, you did not bash me. Very happy about that. But why would you bash me, anyway? Did I do anything that might have justified it? Did you show restraint by not bashing me?

and PLEASE STOP POSTING THAT WE THINK IT SHOULD BE A FORUM REQUIREMENT. WE DO NOT. ALL PEOPLE ON MY SIDE ARE SAYING IS THAT THEY SHOULD BE HONEST AS HUMAN BEINGS, NOT THAT IT SHOULD BE A FORUM RULE.

Whether it should be a forum rule or not is irrelevant. The fact is that just because a person doesn't publicly go into great detail about the reasons for registering as a forum member doesn't, in any way, make this person dishonest.

 

[daryl]

I would vote against requiring people to state their backgrounds. Would we require video producers to state that they are here to try to sell their videos? They are free to engage in any discussions and post anythign they want.

As someone else said, no one is getting a bill for talking to anyone else. Until you try to make in person contact, the person's profession has nothing to do with anything. If any discussion of terms of personal contact come up, then it is relevant and not before.

 

[wendynpeter]

People should be honest all the time, right? There's a difference between protecting your identity and telling the truth about your motives for being here...

It isn't as if other forums don't do it. Bondage.com, for example, asks you to note if you're a pro.

 

[Myriads]

Conversation will not be limited to one reply per member. This is a discussion forum. Members are free to discuss as long and as much as they wish as long as they stay within the rules. Authorship of the thread does not accord any rights to the flow of the thread other then defining the topic.

Myriads

 

[Merciless1]

Honesty is best. They will get what they seek more that way!

M1

 

[Soda83pop]

I voted no...mainly because I never think about other people's motives for coming here..I dont care why they come.

Personally, though, if I was a professional, I would tell everyone when I joined. Again, that's just me though.

 

[dtrell]

Conversation will not be limited to one reply per member. This is a discussion forum. Members are free to discuss as long and as much as they wish as long as they stay within the rules. Authorship of the thread does not accord any rights to the flow of the thread other then defining the topic.

Myriads

thats fine myriads. you know i am more than happy to get into a vigorous debate (which will stay within the rules) with people. i was just trying to keep the thread from getting clogged with replies from the same person just basically restating their opinion over and over. but i can do that as well.

 

[TickledToDeath]

Why be anything OTHER than honest.
Deception will get you nowhere!
Honesty will get you everywhere in here!
Trust is everything.

TTD

 

[isabeau]

ok i'll put my two cents in for what it's worth..i think i stated why i joined way back when i did..i see nothing wrong with that myself..i wanted to get to know others with the same desires, i wanted to read the stories,which i did..i was completely honest when i said my husband wasn't into this, and that hasn't changed..also he knows i visit this forum..i've seen introduction threads in which the person states what they hope to find here..i welcome anyone, whether you are here for monetary reasons, or just to get off on watching the clips... i never thought i would get to attend any gatherings or nest, and that hasn't changed either..not that i wouldn't like to go, but i can't..i also never in my wildest dreams thought i would actually meet anyone from the forum, but that has changed..i've met a handful of people, and had a great time with each..

so i voted yes..

 

[dtrell]

Why be anything OTHER than honest.
Deception will get you nowhere!
Honesty will get you everywhere in here!
Trust is everything.

TTD

thank you TTD. well said in only a few, non-thread clogging words.

 

[daryl]

I would absolutely agree with honesty if asked. but I thought the issue was forcing people to say things at the outset that may not be relevant for any other interactions that they might have.

 

[isabeau]

I would absolutely agree with honesty if asked. but I thought the issue was forcing people to say things at the outset that may not be relevant for any other interactions that they might have.

o definitely no one should feel forced into doing anything..i agree with that..is that the issue here? forcing someone? i didn't think that was the case..