Do *you* think the forum is split?

[Capnmad]

Sometimes there isn't anything that needs to be resolved.

If one person says there is, and the world says there is not, then there still is something that stands to be resolved with that one person, even if it's a matter of misunderstanding.

 

[Deleted member 66627]

Not necessarily, but for instance making friends here does get you a certain emotional involvement that opens the doors to flames. Just take a look at skip's thread.

Well, yes. But, that's a risk in any form of emotionally involving yourself in something. It's not always going to go perfectly. It's how you work through the negativity that makes the difference.

 

[Deleted member 66627]

I Think its interesting how every so odd month there is a post on cliques\groups and whatnot on the forum

I don't think it's ever really stopped as proven by many posts.

If one person says there is, and the world says there is not, then there still is something that serves to be resolved with that one person, even if it's a matter of misunderstanding.

Good point.



(Sorry for the double post. My loaner is really weird about quoting posts.)

 

[Mephistopheles]

Well, yes. But, that's a risk in any form of emotionally involving yourself in something. It's not always going to go perfectly. It's how you work through the negativity that makes the difference.

Hmm, true. I'm not an emotional person so that might also explain my lack of involvement.

 

[Mister Scruff]

Oh dear Christ are we back on this again?

 

[MrMacphisto]

I'm a non-conformist, just like all my friends... j/k

But seriously, I honestly don't know what the deal is. I'm only vaguely aware of this clique phenomenon, and when I come here, it's to have fun.

As much as I analyze things, I don't bother with worrying about whether I'm in a clique or not. Hell, online communication generally has one major advantage over communication in real life -- there's less reason to be cliquey. Why even bother trying to create a clique? That kind of spoils the fun of this interaction.

 

[Goodieluver]

Oh dear Christ are we back on this again?

exactly

 

[Artoo]

Oh dear Christ are we back on this again?

This. 😉

 

[badreligion]

😀 😀

Honestly there is a kinda clique the whole NEST thing if your a NESTee you sorta share a special bond with other nestees its probably not intentional but its there

 

[Artoo]

😀 😀

Honestly there is a kinda clique the whole NEST thing if your a NESTee you sorta share a special bond with other nestees its probably not intentional but its there

Naturally, if people go to a TK gathering they get to know each other better in real life.
But it's only a clique if the meaning of clique is "sharing a special bond with someone". Which it isn't.

 

[badreligion]

Yea but you can see how it can transfer back on the forum and people can mistake it as people being selective and cliqueish

 

[Knot Amewzed]

Yea but you can see how it can transfer back on the forum and people can mistake it as people being selective and cliqueish

Bad, I know that we are cool with each other, but why don't you attend a NEST, gathering, or MUNCH??? Resolve won't happen as long as you sit back and let these feelings get the best of you.

 

[badreligion]

idk im socially awkward haha

 

[kis123]

Oh dear Christ are we back on this again?

Yeah, it looks like we are.

In answer to the OP, yes I do believe that the forum has split. But I do not feel it is as dire as some have made it. I'm looking at a group of about 10-20 who post regularly having some communication issues. It may be the older vs younger members or amongst certain groups of people who have befriended each other here.

I just know that whatever you want to call it I haven't seen such strong differences of opinion and downright fighting around here as long as I've been a member.

I come here to have fun and socialize and have long tired of the arguments. But I will not let anyone blatently disrespect or publicly humiliate me and let them get away with it either.

I don't know when this will end, but I'll be glad when it does.

 

[Knot Amewzed]

idk im socially awkward haha

Get out there!!! If you feel that you are socially awkward, you can't complain about the assemblage of others. Your only grievance should be your inability to adapt in a communal environment. Artoo was spot-on when he mentioned connecting yourself with others in a concrete setting.

You big puss. lol

 

[Sandrock74]

Naturally, if people go to a TK gathering they get to know each other better in real life.
But it's only a clique if the meaning of clique is "sharing a special bond with someone". Which it isn't.

I don't understand why ANYONE would bring up this topic again, especially when no one was commenting on it lately. I can already sense the hostilities under the surface starting to rise. I hope we can avoid this.

BUT

I just wanted to say Artoo, that I have attended a gathering and met a lot of fine people from the TMF here and I don't feel I am a part of any clique or group. I would honestly be surprised if anyone felt I was a member of any "group" or "side" here...and no, the Bromance doesn't count.

I think even that is a misconception; that attending a gathering makes you a part of a gang, or you instantly become an insider. Although maybe it's just because no one showed me the secret handshake or something?

 

[Artoo]

I just wanted to say Artoo, that I have attended a gathering and met a lot of fine people from the TMF here and I don't feel I am a part of any clique or group. I would honestly be surprised if anyone felt I was a member of any "group" or "side" here...I think even that is a misconception; that attending a gathering makes you a part of a gang, or you instantly become an insider. Although maybe it's just because no one showed me the secret handshake or something?

I pretty much agree with you here. 🙂

and no, the Bromance doesn't count.

Yes. Yes it does. 😉

 

[Sandrock74]

Yes. Yes it does. 😉

D'Oh!

 

[LD_Tickler]

I don't think I've ever commented on this issue before, so I'm going to now, even if it has been discussed to death. To inject some new life into the discussion, I made graphs! 😀

There is something. I've been here in some form for 7-8 years truth be told. What I think this whole "split" business is really about is an increase in disparity.

Graph one. The TMF from say, 5 years ago. Members are dots, the lines connecting them are their relationships with one another. Different shades = different strengths of relationships.

This is the TMF now.

What has happened is that the midpoint of user relationships has been raised. The average user is now closer with other users than previously. That's not to say that some users in the past weren't friends in real life - but NEST, for example, used to be in an apartment.

Close, real-life ties for TMF users have been normalized, where it used to be relatively rare, with fewer enabling factors. Now we have many, many gatherings, a radio program, plus the increasing normalization of the internet itself which has strengthened the potential for community.

When it was originally created, the TMF was more obscure, real life friendships were far less common. This obscurity and relatively constrained potential for relationships (that is, constrained to more anonymous, internet-typical relationships) was accessible. It's not hard to feel included when all you do is sign up, post a couple of times, and you're already as involved in the community as four year veterans. Now that the bar has been raised, there is an increase in disparity. Those who haven't taken advantage of the higher relationship ceiling are left at a different level.

These people may not even want to move up any levels. They might be perfectly happy being relatively anonymous, with any real relationships building independently and slowly. But EVERYONE used to be like that, and now that more people are getting closer, faster, they feel left out.

What's the cause for this? Nothing in particular. It's the natural evolution of this forum as the internet becomes more socially validated. People point to users whose arrival seems to coincide with the most these changes (such as Crystallight who people seem to think of as some harbinger of change, when in fact she's just a victim of timing) but really, it's just part of the process.




That's my theory, at least. 😀

 

[Sandrock74]

I don't think I've ever commented on this issue before, so I'm going to now, even if it has been discussed to death. To inject some new life into the discussion, I made graphs! 😀

There is something. I've been here in some form for 7-8 years truth be told. What I think this whole "split" business is really about is an increase in disparity.

Graph one. The TMF from say, 5 years ago. Members are dots, the lines connecting them are their relationships with one another. Different shades = different strengths of relationships.

This is the TMF now.

What has happened is that the ceiling of user relationships has been raised. The average user is now closer with other users than previously. That's not to say that some users in the past weren't friends in real life - but NEST, for example, used to be in an apartment.

Close, real-life ties for TMF users have been normalized, where it used to be relatively rare, with fewer enabling factors. Now we have many, many gatherings, a radio program, plus the increasing normalization of the internet itself which has strengthened the potential for community.

When it was originally created, the TMF was more obscure, real life friendships were far less common. This obscurity and relatively constrained potential for relationships (that is, constrained to more anonymous, internet-typical relationships) was accessible. It's not hard to feel included when all you do is sign up, post a couple of times, and you're already as involved in the community as four year veterans. Now that the bar has been raised, there is an increase in disparity. Those who haven't taken advantage of the higher relationship ceiling are left at a different level.

These people may not even want to move up any levels. They might be perfectly happy being relatively anonymous, with any real relationships building independently and slowly. But EVERYONE used to be like that, and now that more people are getting closer, faster, they feel left out.

What's the cause for this? Nothing in particular. It's the natural evolution of this forum as the internet becomes more socially validated. People point to users whose arrival seems to coincide with the most these changes (such as Crystallight who people seem to think of as some harbinger of change, when in fact she's just a victim of timing) but really, it's just part of the process.




That's my theory, at least. 😀

Huh! Here I thought it had to do with the Myan calendar or something.

 

[LD_Tickler]

Huh! Here I thought it had to do with the Myan calendar or something.

I avoid the Mayan calendar. I fear the apocalypse. O_O

 

[BlackestLily]

If the definition of split is lack of unity and respectability in a social context, then yes, it's split.

 

[CarolinaTickler]

I don't see it as a clique so much as the fact that certain people get to know people better than others. Let me give an example....

In life we all have different people that we know. That was kind of basic. Anyway, you have your inner circle of friends. These are the people that if you ever got into a huge argument and became enemies they could probably destroy you with the embarassing stuff they know about you, depressing right? Good news though! You know embarassing stuff about them too so they wouldn't dare do it. But all that is beside the point, the point is simply that you know these people very well. You probably see them everyday, talk to them everyday, and share numerous commonalities. These people are probably your bestfriends, family, spouses, significant others, or romantic interests. These are the people that you are the closest to, hence inner circle.

Then you have another group that you are less connected to. These are people that you know fairly well. You probably share an interest or two with each other. These are people that you see every so often. These people are probably just your acquantances. They aren't good friends, but you know their name and maybe you spend some time with them occasionally. If you throw a party or a friend of yours throws a party you may see them there and talk for a bit because you have some stuff in common but you just don't spend enough time together to be called best friends. These would probably be second level friends or bench warmer friends because they come off the bench when your first string friends need to come off the court for a bit.

Finally, you have your outsiders. These are the people you don't know that well or at all. There are a lot of these people in life. Some times you know their names and sometimes you don't. Sometimes you might have conversation with them but rarely is it anything more than "hey, how are you doing," or general small talk about sports, the weather or other topics of interest. These are people that you really don't talk to or see that often, hence why they are called outsiders because they are outside your usual realm of friends.

Now here is how this relates to the TMF. You can't know everybody. I tell students at the beginning of the year, just send me your ID number in the subject of the e-mail because I will not remember your name. Same is true in life, you can't intimately be friends with every person you meet. You just can't. You don't have the time and you don't have the emotional or mental energy that it takes to do so. It sounds bad, but you just can't do it. The fact is that some people are just better friends than others. In relation to groups and cliches, I don't really see it that way. I just see it as some people on here went to some of the gatherings and became good friends. I think you are going to have a stronger relationship with people you have met in person in relation to someone you are just talking to online.

 

[Excess]

Ok, speaking on my own now, I think one problem comes from a somewhat lack of willingness to try and really understand why. It generally seems that most are just happy to write off whatever reasons of the other side as what they'd like to believe, and what would make them feel more comfortable.

I think LD's calender shows a general change between then and now, as well as the idea that there was a time when many threads had a feeling of 'You had to have been in on it' or 'Have to know these people'. I do think this has actually died down a bit recently however, so if that's true, who knows where we actually are now.

 

[LD_Tickler]

I don't see it as a clique so much as the fact that certain people get to know people better than others. Let me give an example....

In life we all have different people that we know. That was kind of basic. Anyway, you have your inner circle of friends. These are the people that if you ever got into a huge argument and became enemies they could probably destroy you with the embarassing stuff they know about you, depressing right? Good news though! You know embarassing stuff about them too so they wouldn't dare do it. But all that is beside the point, the point is simply that you know these people very well. You probably see them everyday, talk to them everyday, and share numerous commonalities. These people are probably your bestfriends, family, spouses, significant others, or romantic interests. These are the people that you are the closest to, hence inner circle.

Then you have another group that you are less connected to. These are people that you know fairly well. You probably share an interest or two with each other. These are people that you see every so often. These people are probably just your acquantances. They aren't good friends, but you know their name and maybe you spend some time with them occasionally. If you throw a party or a friend of yours throws a party you may see them there and talk for a bit because you have some stuff in common but you just don't spend enough time together to be called best friends. These would probably be second level friends or bench warmer friends because they come off the bench when your first string friends need to come off the court for a bit.

Finally, you have your outsiders. These are the people you don't know that well or at all. There are a lot of these people in life. Some times you know their names and sometimes you don't. Sometimes you might have conversation with them but rarely is it anything more than "hey, how are you doing," or general small talk about sports, the weather or other topics of interest. These are people that you really don't talk to or see that often, hence why they are called outsiders because they are outside your usual realm of friends.

Now here is how this relates to the TMF. You can't know everybody. I tell students at the beginning of the year, just send me your ID number in the subject of the e-mail because I will not remember your name. Same is true in life, you can't intimately be friends with every person you meet. You just can't. You don't have the time and you don't have the emotional or mental energy that it takes to do so. It sounds bad, but you just can't do it. The fact is that some people are just better friends than others. In relation to groups and cliches, I don't really see it that way. I just see it as some people on here went to some of the gatherings and became good friends. I think you are going to have a stronger relationship with people you have met in person in relation to someone you are just talking to online.

This is all absolutely true.

Now can you express it through GRAPHS?? 😉