Favorite "Simpsons" Quote?

[CheshireCatNY]

MY 1000TH POST! BOOM SHAKA LAKA LAKA BOOM SHAKA LAKA LAKA!

Thought about posting this when I heard my all time favorite quote from the Simpsons today (Grandpa will always be my favorite character):

ABRAHAM SIMPSON: "We can't bust heads like we used to, but we have our ways. One trick is to tell 'em stories that don't go anywhere. Like the time I took the ferry over to Shelbyville. I needed a new heel for my shoe, so I decided to go to Morganville, which is what they called Shelbyville in those days. So, I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time. Now to ride the ferry cost a nickel, but in those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on them. 'Gimme 5 bees for a quarter,' you'd say. Now, where were we? Oh, yes.The important thing was, I had an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time. They didn't have white onions, because of the war. The only thing you could get was those big yellow ones......"

I did find something interesting online also. Matt Groening comments that this dialogue from the Simpsons sums up the whole show:

MARGE: Homer, it's the thought that counts. The moral of this story is a good deed is its own reward.
BART: Hey, we got a reward. The head is cool.
MARGE: Well then... I guess the moral is no good deed goes unrewarded.
HOMER: Wait a minute. If I hadn't written that nasty letter, we wouldn't've gotten anything.
MARGE: Well... then I guess the moral is the squeaky wheel gets the grease.
LISA: Perhaps there is no moral to this story.
HOMER: Exactly! It's just a bunch of stuff that happened.
MARGE: But it certainly was a memorable few days.
HOMER: Amen to that!

 

[Jesso]

That is the single greatest thing I've ever read. Finally, I know what "The Simpsons" is all about.

As far as quotes go, I can't really think of my favorite, but chances are, it'll probably be from Mr. Burns.

 

[CheshireCatNY]

....that has got to be the oddest user avatar I've ever seen....LOL....

 

[Budweiserbob!]

SIMPSON
HOMER SIMPSON
He's the greatest man in history
From the, Town of springfield
He's about to hit a chestnut tree
WAAAGHHHHHH!
*crash*

 

[Budweiserbob!]

Oh, and happy 1000th post Cheshire, if you haven't posted a thread celebrating it yet! 😀

 

[CheshireCatNY]

HOLY CRAP ON A CRACKER!!!! You're right!...................woohoo......that just shows how little of a life I really have....LOL But no seriously I didnt notice, thats awesome...

 

[Anonymous2]

Here's a classic from The Simpsons that I'm sure we've all seen. Hope you like it. Also, they are finally starting production of a Simpsons movie which is predicted to be out next year possibly, You could probably just do a search on the Internet for more information. Anyway, here are the instructions (HJ-Split is included in Part 2.zip)

1) Download both zip files and extract them to the same location on your computer

2) Open the HJ-Split file and click on Join

3) Click on Input File and browse to the location where you extracted the zip files

4) Open the .001 file and click Start to put the file together

 

[nessonite1]

CONGRATS Cheshire!!! *throws simpsons confetti EVERYWHERE and go-go dances on a table*

 

[CheshireCatNY]

Here's a classic from The Simpsons that I'm sure we've all seen. Hope you like it. Also, they are finally starting production of a Simpsons movie which is predicted to be out next year possibly, You could probably just do a search on the Internet for more information. Anyway, here are the instructions (HJ-Split is included in Part 2.zip)

1) Download both zip files and extract them to the same location on your computer

2) Open the HJ-Split file and click on Join

3) Click on Input File and browse to the location where you extracted the zip files

4) Open the .001 file and click Start to put the file together

Theres something really wierd about that clip. Its different than the original episode for some reason. Homer sounds really wierd when he says "Yabba Daba Doo", like someone re-did the voice....almost sounds like its from a foreign language dubbing...

Oh wait....just noticed the logo in the top right for Telemundo...its spanish....so why is just the one line redone (in english no less) and the rest left alone?.....wierd...

 

[max cross]

Scene where homer is a car salesman

Wife: Hey, did that guy just cut one during the test drive
Husband: Ya, and for some reason he turned on the radio to hide the smell
Wife: Lets get out of here, i am not shaking that guy's hand

 

[Celtic_Emperor]

"I'm not normally a praying man....but if you're up there...PLEASE SAVE ME SUPERMAN!"- Homer Simpson

 

[Ignatz]

The scene where the family is contemplating buying a satellite dish (or some enhancement or upgrade to their television, I forget exactly).
Marge: But, Homie, it's so expensive!
Homer: Marge, nothing is too good for the machine that will be raising our children.

 

[Celtic_Emperor]

"Where could this creature have come from?"

"Possibly from Mr. Burn's plant?!"- Lisa (as she looks suspiciously at Mr. Burns)

"Oh, thats ridiculous! Everyone knows my mutants have fins!....oh....I just said that outloud didn't I? Smithers, get the amnesia ray!"- Mr. Burns

"You mean the revolver, sir?"- Smithers

"Yes. And be sure to use it on yourself when you're done."- Mr. Burns

 

[Timewarp]

Homer's response when he is questioned by Marge why he is taking so many bowling balls.

Homer: "Marge I'm not going to lie to you......so long!"

 

[Goodieluver]

More testicals mean more iron

and

Burns-Did i say corpse hatch, hehe i ment innocence tube"

 

[general zod1]

Homer is singing a very bad rendition of Tubthumping from Chumbawamba
You takes a whiskey drink
You takes a chocolate drink
And when you pee
You use the sink

One episode has Marge in a demolition derby Marge is yelling "Save me Homer"
Homer rides out on a mule The mule drops from exhaustion So Homer says in a voice like Popeye "need some fuel for me mule Some gas for me ass"

From the "Shining" episode
Homer
"I'm thinking of writing a booked called No TV and no beer make Homer something something......"
Marge
"Go crazy?"

Homer
"Don't mind if I do!!"

I can't believe the Simpsons show has been on since 1990

 

[fire-juggler]

Who can forget the almight Ralph.
"Me fail English? That's unpossible"
"That's where I saw the Leprchaun. He tells me to burn things"
"Mrs. Krabappel and Principal Skinner were in the closet making babies and I saw one of the babies and then the baby looked at me."
And every ones favorite
"It tastes like burning"

 

[CheshireCatNY]

I can't believe the Simpsons show has been on since 1990

I'm pretty sure its the longest running primetime show of all time.....I could be wrong though....

Another favorite Ralph quote:

"I bent my Wookie...."

 

[nessonite1]

I know Meet the Press is the longest running show of all time....is that prime time? i have no idea. It's certainly the longest running ANIMATED show.

 

[TheChameleon]

My favorite line ever has to be about the 'Spruce Goose' when Mr. Burns is slightly crazy. (Isn't he usually?) I don't remember the line exactly, but its along the lines of "Smithers, I got us the Spruce Goose! Hop In!" and he looks at it, its A toy airplane, a GI Joe would have problems fitting in it. Suddenly Mr Burns puts A revolver to Smithers head. "I said Get In..."

Then, I also like the one where Burns says, "I'll crush you like a paper cup!" and then Smithers has to crush the cup for him.

Oh, yeah. "Were you guys says Boo or Boo-erns?" The crowd gets all angry at Mr. Burns, and Hans Moleman goes "I was saying Boo-erns..."

 

[F.L. Atlanta 10]

One of my favorites is from Groundskeeper Willy - "AHHH, My retirement grease!" From the episode where Homer and Bart are 'cleaning' out the School's Cafeteria oven. Some strange reason, that episode was all about a 'Cash for Grease' mentality.

 

[CheshireCatNY]

Thought of another Ralph quote....actually Ralph and Chief Wiggum together. The episode where the Simpsons moved to the farm to avoid the guy that wants to duel Homer and they grow a radioactive crossbreed of Tomatos and Tobacco called "Tomacco". This is when Ralph and Wiggum are trying one:

RALPH: Hey...this tastes just like grandma..
CHIEF WIGGUM: You're right, it does taste just like grandma....

kinda creeped me out actually...LOL

 

[KazuoK]

I copied these, but they are my favorites. All Lionel Hutz.

Hutz: No don't you worry Mrs. Simpson, I-Uh-oh. We've drawn Judge Snyder.
Marge: Is that bad?
Hutz: Well, he's had it in for me ever since I kinda ran over his dog.
Marge: You did?
Hutz: Well, replace the word “kinda” with the word “repeatedly,” and the word “dog” with “son.”

Hutz: And so, ladies and gentleman of the jury I rest my case.
Judge: Hmmm. Mr. Hutz, do you know that you're not wearing any pants?
Hutz: DAAAA!! I move for a bad court thingy.
Judge: You mean a mistrial?
Hutz: Right!! That's why you're the judge and I'm the law-talking guy.
Judge: You mean the lawyer?
Hutz: Right.

Judge: The foreman will pass the verdict to the bailiff.
[Hutz hands him something]
Judge: This verdict is written on a cocktail napkin. And it still says guilty. And guilty is spelled wrong.
Hutz: Eep.
Judge: Will the foreman please read the real verdict.
Foreman: We find the defendant guilty.
Judge: Marge Simpson, I sentence you to thirty days in prison.
Bailiff: Next case, The National Council of Churches v. Lionel Hutz.
Hutz: Oh yeah, that thing.

Hutz: Mr. Simpson, I was just going through your garbage, and I couldn't help overhearing that you need a babysitter. Of course, being a highly-skilled attorney, my fee is $175 an hour.
Homer: We pay eight dollars for the night, and you can take two popsicles out of the freezer.
Hutz: Three.
Homer: Two.
Hutz: OK, two. And I get to keep this old bird cage.
Homer: Done!
Hutz: [proudly] Still got it.

Hutz: Don't worry, Homer. I have a foolproof strategy to get you out of here. Surprise witnesses, each more surprising than the last. The judge won't know what hit him.

Hutz: Now Mr. Nahasapeemapetilon, if that is your real name.
Have you ever forgotten anything?
Apu: No. In fact I can recite pi to 40,000 places.
And the last digit is 1.
Homer: Mmm... pie.
Hutz: Well if you never forget anything. Tell me this. What color tie am I wearing? [turns around]
Apu: You are wearing a red and white club tie in a half-windsor knot.
Hutz: Oh, I am, am I? Is that what you think? Well if that's what you think, I have something to tell you [ugh(fiddles with tie)]. Something which may shock and discredit you [ugh(continues)]. And that thing is as follows [as he finally undoes the whole tie]. I'm not wearing a tie at all. [jury gasps]
Apu: If I am wrong about that. Maybe I am wrong about Mrs. Simpson.
Hutz: No further questions. [Hutz raises his arm and the tie is sticking out of his sleeve]

Hutz: First some ground rules. Number one, we get bathroom breaks every half-hour.
Evil Flanders: Agreed. Number two, the jury will be chosen by me.
Hutz: Agreed. [realizing] No, wait --
Evil Flanders: Silence!

 

[nessonite1]

I really havent watched The Simpsons much since I was a kid but this sticks out in my mind as being terribly funny. It was during, I think, one of their Halloween Specials. Those were always my favorites.

Homer reads a sign out loud.

" 'Don't touch, Willy'...Good advice."
*proceeds to touch whatever he was warned against touching with catesprophic results I'm sure*

😛

 

[KazuoK]

since my post featured so much Phil Hartman, here's my fav of his from Futurama:

Zapp: The key to victory is discipline, and that means a well made bed. You'll practice bed making until you can do it in your sleep.
Fry: You mean while I'm actually sleeping in it?
Zapp: You won't have time for sleeping soldier. Not with all the bed making you'll be doing