Fetlife!

[chicago]

It's cool. Obviously, it was a misunderstanding due to perhaps a not so perfect wording in her post. Happens to the best of us. She's stated that she didn't mean to offend and I think we can get back to the original point of the thread.

 

[Rorschach Blues]

Yes and that point being people should sign up for FetLife, if they have any interest in exploring new fetishes, or just checking out a fun new site where they can chat about their current fetish.

 

[MrMidnyte]

Signed up today..still checking it out... http://fetlife.com/users/186425

 

[Cavum]

My link at Fetlife
http://fetlife.com/users/14243

 

[Capnmad]

Here's the thing. If I wanted to keep my kink and tickling lives separate then I might phrase it something like this:

A good and useful guide, no doubt. I would suggest that equally useful are the ability to accept that not everyone will express themselves as well as oneself, and the ability to accept their explanation when they clarify, provided it's not too incongruent with earlier remarks, and that neither set of statements are malicious.

Shall we move on, then? Or at least could we move this to another thread? Or shall we go back to...

 

[fireguardian]

YAY I'm there too
http://fetlife.com/users/186894/

 

[meangry]

I'll give you guys an example right now, I just about 2 minutes ago got a random message on FL, from a TMFer that I'm not familiar with. Basically asking me why I would let someone bruise me in the photos I have posted there. They don't understand. I don't want to deal with that ya know?

You're posting photos of yourself on the internet, a place accessible to billions upon billions of people. A majority of people would look at those pictures and cock their eyebrow and wonder that same thing. Either you can answer the question, or not explain it at all. That choice is yours. But bringing light to it is not going to help, especially in the outright condescending manner in which it was done. You might say it like this to people offline, but that doesn't make the original posting any the less condescending or exclusionary.

I really don't think I said only certain qualifed people should be on FL.Actually no, I never said that. You came up with that on your own. And I really think your getting far to into this. I said I would prefer to not add anyone from the TMF to MY friends list. So instead of explaining that repeatedly, I'm explaining it here since I'm getting a lot of requests. Am I making sense this time? There just really seems to be a lot of confusion I guess. I just want to make sure what I'm saying is clear since it doesn't seem to be. A lot of folks are saying that I'm mad about the situation. Hecks no I'm not mad, I'm actually laughing about it because words on a screen can be translated in so many different ways. I would just prefer to keep things seperate, that's all. No reason to tie me on a post and light the fire.

Alright, a few problems:

You have the active choice to click no, or to not allow them adding you. You do not owe anyone reasoning for it. If you like to keep this different life separate, you should have done that.

Also, you have a set of friends in a bridging fetish community. You get an add from someone you have on your TMF list. Same person does it on FL. You don't add them. Now, in all honesty, if it is such a big deal not to have them on your list there, then why would you put them on a list here? This philosophy is very weird. This isn't your sex life board in correspondence with you basket weaving community forum. These items are pretty much one and one.

This behavior probably has a direct correlation with your posting habits and what you put up here. By doing what you have chosen to do, you have made it all the more difficult to have the privacy others have. Now you can keep it separate by your own level of response. You control yourself, not others.

This entire examination just is so weird. It makes no sense. It goes beyond the words. It's the sentiment and the nature of what one has wrought onto oneself.

yeah srsly, ya'll need to calm the fuck down. I'm not getting any antsy in my pantsy ya'll are. It's my decision, accept it. Ya'll took it the wrong way, that's not my problem. I'm done...jezit on a steek

I'll put the nail in the coffin by saying that posting telling other people to calm down about what you said the way you said it is showing that you yourself need to calm down and chill on the topic. This is the text based internet. We go on what you wrote. We are not to blame for what you wrote. Liberty allows people to have dissenting opinion. Sucks when that person is you, but you sometimes just got to eat curb.

 

[Capnmad]

Ordinarily, Meangry, I like what you have to say. Today is a notable exception, partly because I believe you to be wrong, and partly because this horse is dead, and to keep hitting it with the crop just sprays maggots everywhere.

But, I'm good for another , so why not?

You're posting photos of yourself on the internet, a place accessible to billions upon billions of people. A majority of people would look at those pictures and cock their eyebrow and wonder that same thing. Either you can answer the question, or not explain it at all. That choice is yours. But bringing light to it is not going to help, especially in the outright condescending manner in which it was done. You might say it like this to people offline, but that doesn't make the original posting any the less condescending or exclusionary.

I don't believe the original post was condescending at all. I believe that given the likelihood that the thread was going to garner a slew of new attention to the site and friends here would doubtless try to become friends there, she said what was necessary to avoid further annoyance. She says in her original post "So please don't take offense", and "I'm sorry if I hurt anyones feelings but it's just how I feel". If you can't get that she's trying not to offend people from that, it's kind of sad. She handled this fairly well, in my opinion, especially now in the aftermath. If admitting that turning down people that she likes is an annoyance is perceived as "condescending", then woe to the future of honesty.

Alright, a few problems:

You have the active choice to click no, or to not allow them adding you. You do not owe anyone reasoning for it. If you like to keep this different life separate, you should have done that.

She did. But simple rejection without explanation will leave people feeling hurt. So her decision to explain why in the thread was a good one, superior to and more courteous than acting simply on the right that she need not explain.

Also, you have a set of friends in a bridging fetish community. You get an add from someone you have on your TMF list. Same person does it on FL. You don't add them. Now, in all honesty, if it is such a big deal not to have them on your list there, then why would you put them on a list here? This philosophy is very weird. This isn't your sex life board in correspondence with you basket weaving community forum. These items are pretty much one and one.

To you perhaps they are. To her, they are not. Diff'rent strokes for diff'rent folks, brother. I don't think choosing to organize your correspondence thus is strange at all. Do yours your way, we'll do ours our way. We won't criticize how you organize your correspondence. Can you afford others the same courtesy?

This behavior probably has a direct correlation with your posting habits and what you put up here. By doing what you have chosen to do, you have made it all the more difficult to have the privacy others have. Now you can keep it separate by your own level of response. You control yourself, not others.

Take your last line to heart. Then criticize your own "philosophy" rather than that of another. And she can keep it separate as she chooses, as has already been determined.

This entire examination just is so weird. It makes no sense. It goes beyond the words. It's the sentiment and the nature of what one has wrought onto oneself.

Agreed that it's weird. A young woman says that she doesn't want people from here asking to friend her of FetLife because she likes to keep those friend sets separate, one person takes issue with something, and others follow suit with condemnations. Weird indeed.

I'll put the nail in the coffin by saying that posting telling other people to calm down about what you said the way you said it is showing that you yourself need to calm down and chill on the topic. This is the text based internet. We go on what you wrote. We are not to blame for what you wrote. Liberty allows people to have dissenting opinion. Sucks when that person is you, but you sometimes just got to eat curb.

What's tiresome on the internet is the stupid little game of who can tell the other to "calm down" the fastest. It immediately, falsely "reframes" (political term) the opponent as angry, even though they never displayed anger. It's a subtle deception in order to infuriate one's opponent, and provoke them to anger so that they make for an easier and less empathetic target. It's a popular tactic, but it rather sickens me.

The fact alone that there are differences of opinion in how to read what she wrote indicates that it's less what she wrote that is at issue, but more what one infers. You went on what you inferred. If you are compelled to be so offended, none can stop you, I suppose.

 

[Deleted member 66627]

Okay, seriously.

While I'm all for a good, solid discussion.. this is getting a little insane.

People on the blue side are thinking blue. Folks on red, are red. What little middle ground we have is covered.

Cassi voiced an opinion. Folks agreed and/or disagreed.

Morgan, you're trying to play ref, but Cassi ain't replying. She already cleared up that she was done with it. Yet you keep jumping in whenever someone disagrees with something she said prior. If they want to voice, let 'em. But don't jump on them in Cassi's defense. I'm pretty sure she can hold her own.

And you're claiming that folks are beating a dead horse, but yet you're still enabling them to.

Enough already.

 

[Capnmad]

Okay, seriously.

While I'm all for a good, solid discussion.. this is getting a little insane.

People on the blue side are thinking blue. Folks on red, are red. What little middle ground we have is covered.

Cassi voiced an opinion. Folks agreed and/or disagreed.

Morgan, you're trying to play ref, but Cassi ain't replying. She already cleared up that she was done with it. Yet you keep jumping in whenever someone disagrees with something she said prior. If they want to voice, let 'em. But don't jump on them in Cassi's defense. I'm pretty sure she can hold her own.

And you're claiming that folks are beating a dead horse, but yet you're still enabling them to.

Enough already.

And I guess we can all play ref then, 'til a real ref steps in? I've been waiting. They could have stepped in a bit ago 'cause of the off-topic, but have stayed out of it. But you do your own impersonation of a ref, too, babe.

I'd invited others to take the argument elsewhere -- I even have considered starting a new thread myself, but the argument's so bizarre, I wouldn't know what to call it...

Finally, I try to keep away from criticizing or defending people, and rather criticize or defend ideas. Were I the person who expressed myself in such a manner, and received such a response, I'd vehemently disagree and counter. Cassi's actually peripheral to all this -- the idea's the thing. I'll defend her manner of expression the same as if it were my own, because it may be my own some day, and I'll defend the notion of compartmentalizing friend sets, because it is my own practice already.

However, as you are the Original Poster, and this is your thread, I'll defer to you and the direction in which you desire to take it. I suspect if you'd stepped in earlier and noted the off-topic nature of discussion, others would similarly have deferred. It's only courteous, my friend. 🙂

Later!

 

[Myriads]

Hello folks,

Catching up on some threads that a busy week has made me neglect.

It seems to me that this thread that is supposed to be about Fetlife has gotten a bit off track with a sub-debate about how people like to manage their online lives. Now that is a good and interesting topic, but I feel if folks want to discuss it they should take it to a new thread. Let's keep this one about Fetlife, what it can do for the TMF community, and so forth.

Myriads

 

[Powah]

http://fetlife.com/users/187372

Go ahead and add me i have other things on there besides tickling. but it is my main

 

[Goodieluver]

Meh, i needed a time killer

it killed only 1 minute
http://fetlife.com/users/187386

 

[Juhnetiks]

My FetLife Profile

Feel free to add me.

I'm into a lot more than just tickling, for the record.

=]

 

[Miss Serendipity]

ME: http://fetlife.com/users/187039

(ya know in case anyone wants to add me)

 

[scarecrow]

the scarecrow has been upgraded to voltron(im so awesome) but seriously add me doodz
and doodettez http://fetlife.com/users/215678

 

[BlackestLily]

My fetlife name is the same as my name here.

Here's the linky-do: http://fetlife.com/users/172181

 

[goddess_nemesis]

Joined today. Here's me: http://fetlife.com/users/215711. Add me if you want. 😀

[EDIT] Also, I joined as goddess_nemesis. I'm still Nemesis but different name in front of it. 😀 😀 😀

 

[JPie1]

just joined, didn't update much....jpie1

 

[TheTickleMonster]

my fetlife name is mtticklemonster just like here except i didn't capitalize the t in Tickle like I did here 😛 but yeah

and it's like facebook, not myspace.. lol, i hate facebook and myspace rules but i helped a friend fill in info and The Wall is a facebook term for the area with the comments, not a myspace term and you can't costumize your fetlife profile and you can't on facebook, so the way it's set up is like facebook, not myspace lol. but even though I won't join facebook bc it's simple and boring I did join Fetlife because well like u said it's for kinky people which makes it more exciting than facebook even though I can't get people from the city i'm in to talk to me 😛 and the females from here on fetlife aren't into tickling but oh well lol

 

[Wolf]

I'm there, too

on FetLife as Wolf_359

Predictable, no?

 

[TheTickleMonster]

on FetLife as Wolf_359

Predictable, no?

no, that's a very unpredictable name, u put numbers at the end, we woulda thought it would be just wolf 😛 so u surprised us

 

[Wolf]

Shh....

no, that's a very unpredictable name, u put numbers at the end, we woulda thought it would be just wolf 😛 so u surprised us

Everyone will figure out my password is "password"...


oops.

 

[lilone4sir]

I found fetlife long before TMF and have to say it can be very interesting... also collarme but it's more geared towards hardcore D/s kink than tickling (altho that can fall into D/s as well...

More fun the better!

 

[tklee88]

I LOVE FETLIFE! 😀