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Foot Fetish / Tickle Fetish Husband with Insecurity Issue?

I posted the topic on a general posting board and all I got was your husband is a toe sucking loser that needs to grow up
 
That's why I joined the TMF and posted on here. I wanted to see what people more like him would say...and its helped me.
 
your husband is a toe sucking loser that needs to grow up

Yeah...too many people out there who need some growing up to do themselves! Hope you will get through this.
 
Thanks Rhiannon. Thanks to everyone who reviewed this topic with an open mind from both side and didn't resort to ripping on me or my husband.
 
Thanks Rhiannon. Thanks to everyone who reviewed this topic with an open mind from both side and didn't resort to ripping on me or my husband.

Glad you and your husband found some clarity. I'm sorry that some here were presumptuous, regarding your situation.
 
Some of you have some pretty strong opinions about this. To each his own I guess. I don't like many of the responses I must admit. Some are pretty bad against me...some against him..all I can say is he treats me better than I can ever imagine and takes amazing care of me. In return, I think he just wants to be the only man who gets to "pleasure" me in any way. For all the things he does for me...I think I can handle that deal!

That's it in a nut shell! I am sorry if I came off harsh with your hubby earlier. If you're OK, happy and content with your relationship than that is all that truly matters. I am lucky enough to have a wife that isn't at ALL it my fetish but indulges me because she loves me. You two have the same thing. I suspect he will come around, patience and love will win out for sure! Good Luck!
 
I can understand his feelings, but I think the problem is mostly his fault. You won't likely hear that from many other foot guys who can more easily sympathize with him, but in this case, I do think he made the bigger mistake. By him agreeing to go to a place like this in the first place, he seemingly gave his OK to have your feet rubbed by a professional, and it's logical to assume that you would feel like this was different than just placing your feet in some random strangers lap. Obviously, if you had had your feet massaged by some random man who wasn't a professional, things would be different and you would be to blame, but that's not what happened here.

The fact that he didn't want another man touching his own feet may have been a hint that you should have just gotten up and left, but I can understand why you may have missed the hint. If it was that big of a deal to him, he should have told you about it right then and there and asked you to leave.

Besides, he should have known better than to go to a place like this at all. If he did want to go, though, he should have requested only female masseurs from the beginning because there is always a chance that you won't get one when you go into a place like this. As it turned out, the joke was on him and other men got to rub your feet.

I think if you've apologized and promised to never let another man touch your feet again under any circumstances, he just needs to accept your apology and move on. If he can't, then take the advice of others and go to therapy.

It is not his fault. Your argument is not valid.
 
It is not his fault. Your argument is not valid.

Not trying to be rude, but either explain why it wasn't his fault based on my well thought out reasons for why it was his fault or don't even comment at all. A discussion works based on giving reasons for opinions. You can't just say my argument isn't valid without giving reasons why.

Reasons it was his fault.

1. He was fine with going there to begin with. We know that much by the fact that he went there with her. Had he told her not to go there to begin with and explained his reasons for why he didn't want to go there, she might not have gone.

2. Apparently, he was under the assumption that it would be a woman doing the massage, but why is that? Just because there were only women in the room, as the original post seems to indicate? He should not have assumed that they were the only employees of the establishment. The workforce is made of more than just a single sex. He shouldn't have made an assumption. He should have made a specific request for a female masseuse.

3. He didn't tell her he didn't want her to allow the professional to massage her feet when male professionals came into the room. She's not a mind reader. He should have made a specific request. The fact that he had said before that he didn't want other men rubbing her feet isn't enough of a specific request because it is easy to see why a masseuse would be different than a man doing it for sexual reasons.

4. The fact that he went there to begin with, that he did not specifically ask for a female masseuse, and the fact that he did not at that moment outright say he wasn't fine with what was happening led to a male masseuse getting to massage his wife's feet.

I'm not saying it was all his fault, but he sure did make a lot of errors that led to his undoing, another man getting to rub his wife's feet.
 
In a nutshell.

Ok...He told me at least 3-4 times in the past that he would not feel good about other men touching on me. It's just something that would bother him. It was all females in the shop. They were outside encouraging us to go in. If it was a bunch of men..we would of just walked by. We both clearly thought it was all female. Once we layed down...4 men came out of the back room. He got right up and he thought I got up too, but I didn't, when he turned around...there was two men massaging me. I knew how he felt about that but I didn't get up. I figured if the men were not attractive he wouldn't care. Quite frankly, my husband can massage me way better than both those guys did. I should of just got up.
 
The last month has sucked without his fetish. I have apologized...we have had good discussions...I think we have gotten through the issue and we have a better understanding of each other. He has promised to get his foot mojo back. When it does. .I will be happy to share with everyone!
 
closettickle,

This has been an interesting discussion to read through.

Occasionally, someone will raise a question in the discussion forum such as, "why do you have your fetish"? A few people will try to guess or describe what it seems like, while others will just say they don't know, and even that they don't care.

It seems to me that there's at least some component of a logical underpinning, though. On top of whatever biological reflexes we're born with, different people acquire ideas that this action is unbelievably fascinating, or that interaction is forbidden and wrong, and somehow they end up being able to experience this unique combination of acute thrill and pleasure from a narrow set of circumstances that creates their fetish.

It's almost guaranteed that insecurities and mental uncharted territory are built into that -- it's hard to imagine a true fetish without a corresponding insecurity. All of that underpinning is real, but since it's so personal, so uncommon, and can be so different from what's considered normal, it's almost never analyzed or explained in words, even by the person experiencing it. At least your husband was able to tell you he wouldn't have been comfortable with other men massaging your feet, even if he couldn't fully explain why.

And it sounds like you -- unintentionally -- happened to press right on that insecurity of his without completely understanding how deeply that would affect him. Of course he reacted by feeling flustered and distressed.

From reading, it's hard not to imagine a couple that's really endeared for one another and cares about the other's happiness. I would guess that at this time, your husband is going to try to find a way to reaffirm he can trust you -- he would want to know that if he's talking about his feelings in this way, that you understand he really means what he's saying, and that you'll accept that at face value. If he wants to explore and really understand why he feels that way -- which would undoubtedly help you even more -- than surely you're the person he would choose to do that with.

I'm sorry this has been so rocky, and I really hope the best for you two.
 
Closettickle, your story is very sweet and sad. I don't think either you or he are at fault. You're just dealing with one of those things that challenges even the best relationships. Give it time. It sounds like he loves you and still cares deeply for you. I hope things get better soon. 🙂
 
Wow...this forum is great. Very glad I joined. I'm learning so much about this fetish my husband has, and I love.
 
keep your feet just for him and persuade him as I said...

you both will be fine.. x

I wouldn't let my gf feet touched by someoneelses...

while we go to the shoe store, I help her to put her shoes on. If someone asks us to get any help I say "no thanks we can handle it"

hope you understand me..

feet are one of the sexual part for foot fetishist people. this is why I wouldn't accept it too....

good luck 🙂 and hope your husband let you to share your wrinkly sole photo with us as soon as possible 🙂
 
sounds good! no problem...

hope you have tickle torture session and share the wrinkly sole pics with us.

good luck x
 
Wow sounds like his feeling got hurt big time you should tell him how great he is ,and that a foot rub in a spa will never compare to what he dose. Then tease him with your feet walk bare foot rub your feet on him every chance you get put your feet in a position you know he loves work on him ,and he will respond.
 
Just an update. ..
Last night, my husband spent 10 minutes running feathers up and down my soles and in between my toes!!! After that, he proceeded to flick his tongue all over the bottoms for another few minutes. I could tell it wasn't quite the same for him yet, but at least he is making the effort now..🙂
 
I'm glad to hear you folks are rounding around to a happy ending. I had a lady friend who liked to prop her feet up either on the recliner or the desk with the soles facing out and I would just get magnetized and drawn to them. I can't imagine how your husband had been able to stay away from them for this long, (I'd seen the pic in the other thread), but the good news is he's working on it. It'll come.
 
Sounds like things are getting better for you and I am glad to hear it. Maybe he will be sucking your toes by Thanksgiving for Christmas.
 
The fact that you're posting something like this obviously shows how much you care about him, I really admire that. But ultimately, I don't know if there is much you can do. He appears to be quite stubborn, when I see you're begin selfless. I understand that maybe the episode with the guys rubbing your feet may have bothered him a lot but I think he is being very stubborn. I guess keep communicating, tell him what you told us. Good luck!
 
All relationships undergo a certain amount of growing pains as individuals uncover unconscious reactions to various stimuli they didn't know they had.

Your husband's reaction to the incident was 100% inappropriate. Its only justification would have been if he had clearly expressed his feelings beforehand and you had willingly transgressed. This did not happen and you are not a mind-reader.

The fact that he is trying to renew old behaviors is a positive sign that he recognizes that his neurotic, misplaced, passive-aggressive hostility (expressed by withholding affection) is a problem that he must work on if he does not want to blow the best thing that's ever happened to him.

The psychoanalytic resolution lies in his locating the original, past, betrayal that this incident unconsciously reminded him of and willfully refusing to allow the direction of blame toward you.
Anger tends not to fade by itself, it must be forcefully confronted.
 
It's a big thread. You may have missed it. He did say he wouldn't want another dude rubbing up on my feet. I just thought an older asian man wouldn't bother him but it still did.
 
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