Hopefully Not Going Downhill.. About My Mom

[Mitchell]

I had originally posted this to vent. Now there is a real reason for me to post it, as my mom coughed blood this morning for the first time since May. Details are in the post I made following this one.

Mitch

 

[Bothersome]

I understand that you're probably already doing this... but I would make it abundantly clear to her how imperative it is that she follow the doctor's instruction down to the letter. The man knows what he's doing, afterall. I can't imagine what your mother's going through, psychologically, so try and be patient.

In the end, if she refuses treatment, then you have to be blunt with her. You need to straight up tell her exactly what will happen if she doesn't follow the doctor's instructions. If she still doesn't want to... well, I suppose that would be her choice.

 

[Mitchell]

Bothersome, thanks for your advice. I know it is sincere, and I appreciate it.

She has agreed to go over to the hospital today. Since I posted this thread, I have an additional problem. She coughed a lot of blood this morning, the most since I brought her up here in May.

I'm ready to scream. A week in the hospital, seven weeks of treatment, every day, and still, she's coughing a lot of blood. I dont know if she's medically getting worse, hasnt improved, or what the hell is going on.

Thoughts and prayers would be appreciated. I hope to know more today. We are going over to the hospital, for radiation, and hopefully chemo.

Originally, we were to have gone home this weekend. I would say that the chances of that are now close to nil!

Thanks again, Bothersome.

Mitch

 

[TklDuo-Ann]

Prayers continue to be with you both...and with the med team. Hang in there!

 

[Bugman]

I'm sorry to hear this Mitch. If it helps at all, I can tell you based on experience with friends and family that cancer treatment can be a real roller coaster ride. Hang in there, see what the doctors say and go from there. My best thoughts and wishes remain with you both.

 

[Mitchell]

Thanks, Ann, I appreciate it.

Thanks Bug. I know treatment can be rough. We had a bad day today. I will post the details of that next.

 

[Mitchell]

Now, about today.

Mom had chemo. After that, she tried to walk to the radiation area, which is across the hall, and had a bronchial asthma attack similar to the one that hospitalized her in fall 2010.

They sat her down, and took her oxygen and pulse levels, both of which were terrible. Neither Dr B nor Dr C were there, so, Dr B's partner in chemo, Dr L, told mom to sit and rest, and he would decide whether to admit her.

Thank God, her pulse and oxygen came back to normal, but radiation was still cancelled today, which of course puts us here a day longer. They will have to see if she can have radiation tomorrow. The radiation treatments left are still at three, whatever that is.

What upsets me, is that mom was crying over the stress this is having on me. I'm okay. I just get terrified when things like this happen. One of Dr B's nurses sternly told me to relax, but.. thats easier said than done.

So, now we wait. I will post updates as needed. We are back at the hotel. Hopefully, mom can relax.

Mitch

 

[cttickler44]

Now, about today.

Mom had chemo. After that, she tried to walk to the radiation area, which is across the hall, and had a bronchial asthma attack similar to the one that hospitalized her in fall 2010.

They sat her down, and took her oxygen and pulse levels, both of which were terrible. Neither Dr B nor Dr C were there, so, Dr B's partner in chemo, Dr L, told mom to sit and rest, and he would decide whether to admit her.

Thank God, her pulse and oxygen came back to normal, but radiation was still cancelled today, which of course puts us here a day longer. They will have to see if she can have radiation tomorrow. The radiation treatments left are still at three, whatever that is.

What upsets me, is that mom was crying over the stress this is having on me. I'm okay. I just get terrified when things like this happen. One of Dr B's nurses sternly told me to relax, but.. thats easier said than done.

So, now we wait. I will post updates as needed. We are back at the hotel. Hopefully, mom can relax.

Mitch

Oh man, I'm so sorry : (. Isn't it funny how parents will worry about stuff like how their kids are stressed about THEIR serious illness that they have? Sounds like my mom. Cancer is a bitch and you and your mother/family are in my prayers. I lost my aunt to Lung Cancer about 3 years ago so I can somewhat understand what your going through. Try to get your mom not to worry about you so much, yknow? I know its easier said than done, but she needs to be focused on her despite her motherly instinct, yknow? If you need anything or any info on the process we went through with my aunt, let me know just PM me or something. My fingers are crossed for you my friend.

 

[kurchatovium]

Be strong my friend. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your mom.

 

[Mitchell]

ct, thanks for your good wishes. I'm so sorry about you losing your aunt to lung cancer.

It is amazing how parents are often more concerned about their kids than they are about themselves. Hopefully, today was just a bad day, and she can get back on track tomorrow.

Thanks for your good wishes, kurch. I'm doing my best to be strong.

Mitch

 

[GQguy]

Can't resist. I'm so sorry about the relapse. You're in my prayers.

 

[Leo tickles]

Continue being strong and stick to supporting her.

 

[Mitchell]

GQ, thank you for your prayers.

Thanks, Leo. Of course I will stick to supporting her. I'm strong. I just hope things get better, and there is evidence of all the treatment working.

Mitch

 

[Angel77]

Continued prayers for your mom Mitch.

My mom had all kinds of setbacks and issues when she had her chemo. Your mom will have bad days like that too, as you're seeing. Try and focus on the fact that there is some evidence that the treatment is working and take each day as it comes.

Tomorrow is a new day. 🙂

 

[Mitchell]

Thanks for your good wishes Angel.

In this round, today was her last chemo session. After the three radiations, shes done until her body scan. Then, we have to see what happens next.

More than likely, we wont be going home until at least Monday. As I've posted before, we live in a two floor apt building, with awful AC, that doesnt cool the apt. Even if my mom takes three radiations in a row, the forecast highs for Lancaster are 101 on Friday, 96 on Saturday, and 92 on Sunday, which will make the apt into a furnace. Not good for a patient just off treatment. Monday is supposed to be 87.

Monday will be five weeks straight that I'm here, and will mean I would have been home only six days in two months. Hopefully, she can get back on track, so she can complete her treatment, and we can finally go home.

Mitch

 

[Angel_2]

Stay strong friend, your mother and you are in my prayers.

 

[love feet]

aww i am so sorry! 🙁!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Ishaanshah]

I understand that you're probably already doing this... but I would make it abundantly clear to her how imperative it is that she follow the doctor's instruction down to the letter. The man knows what he's doing, afterall. I can't imagine what your mother's going through, psychologically, so try and be patient.

In the end, if she refuses treatment, then you have to be blunt with her. You need to straight up tell her exactly what will happen if she doesn't follow the doctor's instructions. If she still doesn't want to... well, I suppose that would be her choice.

Great piece of advice.

 

[Mitchell]

Thanks for the support everyone. Heres the update.

My mom called the chemo Dr, Dr B, today, who told her she had to go to the hospital for treatment. When we got to the radiation office, the radiation Drs nurses sternly told her she has to finish her last three treatments this week, and just has to push through it. While the radiation Dr is on vacation, the nurses told her theres no way they are letting her skip the last three treatments.

So.. she had her treatment today, and will have treatment tomorrow and Friday. Then, we're done, but, as I've posted before, because of the 100 degree temps expected in Lancaster this weekend, we arent going home til Monday. That will be the end of this journey! I cant wait to get home! I hope and pray that this long odyessy, results in the "homerun" that Dr C said he is seeking.

Thanks again to everyone for the good thoughts and support. I'll be around perodically until I leave here, and look forward to rejoining the forum on a regular basis on Monday.

Mitch

 

[ticklebunny 2]

Oh man Mitchell I am so sorry to hear this. I did see this thread the last few days but I was not really sure what to say and did not really have the time to sit down and to thoroughly read it. I just did. I am really so sorry to hear this.I feel for you. It is so tragic and so sad that your mother has cancer. That is really rough-coughing up blood-seven treatments of chemotherapy and all this time in the hospital-doctors and nurses giving her medical care-still she is suffering-going through this misery. So tragic.

I sadly lost my grandfather to a medical complication in Feb 2009. So I know how it feels to have to sadly have to watch a loved one slowly go through misery and have to suffer. Granted it was not the result from cancer however it was a medical complication. A real quick gist is this-my grandfather sadly broke his hip-before that time-he had a hip replacement- sadly in Feb 2009 he needed to have a second hip replacement again-sadly the surgical procedure something went really wrong.The hip replacement from before-bolt came loose-sadly caused septess in the blood. Sorry sure I spelled that wrong, sorry not fluent in medical terminology.

Anyways what happened is sadly it caused his body to shut down-sadly make a long story short-my grandpa died later that night February 16th 09. It was a very tragic and heartbreaking event. Sorry about that-what I am saying is I feel your pain-before this second hip replacement surgery-my grandpa was in the Navy-he sadly has abestos in his lungs from working in the Navy-shipyards-already damage-sadly before ticklebear2 and I's wedding on 7/7/7
my grandpa 2 yrs before the wedding-few months before had cancer-luckily around the wedding time-went into omission and we thought it was gone for good-make a long story once again short-found out besides the medical complication-likely also caused his downfall at the hospital being-all the chemotherapy treatments-medicine-caused his body to be weak-the point is even though situation is different-I know what it is like to watch a loved one go through misery very sad. Forgive the tangents please.

I wish I knew what to say to you to help you during this terrible and difficult stormy time in your life. It is terrible what your mother is suffering. It is so tragic and also so sad. It is great that you are there for her and showing how much you love her-by being her support and being there-don't ever think she doesn't appreciate and is not thankful for that-because she really is-even though it may not seem that way. Yeah be honest but gentle but be firm if you have to with your mother. I would not try to use scare tactics with her-just be gentle yet firm-let her know what will happen as gentle and non-threatening as you can-let her know whatever she decides-whether continue treatments or not-you are there for her and love her-no matter what. She needs that more than ever right now.

Leave the choice up to her. I know it would be great if the treatments would help a great deal-would heal and stop the cancer-however you got to remember-the treatments can be painful and unpleasant and aggravating-maybe she doesn't want her last days to be hooked up to hospital machines and devices-maybe she would like to be at home /hospice make her comfortable but not in a hospital. Sorry don't mean to sound dramatic, saying last days but I think you get what I am saying. Focus on making memories and letting her know you love her and there for her no matter what she decides/do treatment/stop treatment. That is what she needs more than ever right now. I hope this has helped. May God be with your mom, your family, friends, and loved ones, may God give you strength, courage, and comfort during this sad time. Peace God be with you. Hugs🙁

🙁🙁🙁🙁

 

[Mitchell]

ticklebunny, thanks for your post. I know it is sincere. Let me first say that I'm very sorry about your grandfather.

While my mom has had a rough time: Unless something unforeseen happens, her demise is not imminent. Every doctor we have spoken to, said that treatment can be very rough, and the things she is experiencing, are side effects of the radiation and chemo. To this point, thank heaven, she hasnt had a dramatic weight loss, and they say she is doing "well", and "better than most of their patients".

It has been emotionally exhausting for both her and me to be here for seven weeks, with some of the ups and downs. We both look forward to her finishing treatment, so we can go home.

Mitch

 

[ticklebunny 2]

No problem Mitchell. Just wanted to let you know I did read and see your thread-let you know I am here if you want to talk or need someone to listen. You always have seemed like a really nice guy-you have been on the forum also for a really long time. I think soon after ticklebear2 and I joined-seems like you have been on here forever🙂

Awww thanks Mitchell I appreciate it. It was very rough and very sudden and unexpected his death but if he would have lived-he likely still be in a wheelchair and not able to no longer walk-he would have hated that. He had to be in a wheel chair for a really long before ticklebear2 and I got married-still in wheelchair at our wedding-he had fun at the reception granted-but I know he would have loved to have walked if he had his way. My grandpa always loved to attend the fair and go walking-stay early day until late at night-when fair closed. Those couple yrs before February 2009 he had to leave early fair and places early since he was taking chemotherapy and radiation-it took a lot out of him. So he would not have been the happy cheerful grandpa I knew-if he would have lived.

Sadly supposed to only been a second hip replacement but a complication-guess God ready and just needed another angel-God called my grandpa home. It does still hurt at times but I fondly remember the good times and I am thankful for the laughter and great times he and I shared-always hold a fond place in my heart. He is in my heart and always with me.

I am happy to hear that the doctor said your mother is doing much really well and that there still may be very much hope for healing and a slow but thorough recovery. I really hope so. I will keep my fingers crossed and hope for the best for her-hope and pray God shows mercy to her-helps her heal and beat the cancer for good-that she will be a survivor-so you can make many more great happy memories-have more great years with her. Hugs.

ticklebunny, thanks for your post. I know it is sincere. Let me first say that I'm very sorry about your grandfather.

While my mom has had a rough time: Unless something unforeseen happens, her demise is not imminent. Every doctor we have spoken to, said that treatment can be very rough, and the things she is experiencing, are side effects of the radiation and chemo. To this point, thank heaven, she hasnt had a dramatic weight loss, and they say she is doing "well", and "better than most of their patients".

It has been emotionally exhausting for both her and me to be here for seven weeks, with some of the ups and downs. We both look forward to her finishing treatment, so we can go home.

Mitch

 

[Mitchell]

Thanks for the vote of confidence, ticklebunny. I try to be nice.

Cancer can be so tragic. The exposure I've had to it over the past sixteen months, shows me that there are people who are unfortunately in much worse shape than my mom is. There are times my mom feels really sick, and through all the coughing blood, hospitalizations, missed chemo sessions due to illness, etc etc, the Drs keep saying "Your mom is doing really well, trust us, we have patients who are really sick".

The hardest part may be the waiting period between the time we go home, and she is scanned in two months from now. There may be times she feels worse, and then there will be the whole "We spent all this time and all this money to be here, and how much good did it do?" The chemo the first time didnt complete the job the chemo Dr wanted it to, which is why all the radiation. Hopefully, God Willing, this time, the treatment will really be effective.

Thanks again, ticklebunny. I hope you and ticklebear are both doing well.

Take care,
Mitch

 

[Mitchell]

Sorry to bump this thread. Today was not a good day.

Of course, my mom had to attend radiation today. She probably should not have even been out in the 100 degree heat, but, absolutely had to go to treatment, because she missed two earlier in the week.

In addition to being in almost constant pain, she started bleeding again today. It didnt seem significant enough to go to the ER, or get admitted, but.. if it continues tomorrow, we have to talk to the nurses, and she might need the ER.. or.. God knows what else.

As I've posted before, we are supposed to go home on Monday. I'm beginning to wonder if we will ever get there. I'm about ready to scream. On top of that, my mom's demeanor has gotten really nasty, and she seems to pick fights with me over the littlest things. That doesnt sway my commitment to her though, because, I know she doesnt mean it, and is only going off because she's bleeding, scared, uncomfortable, and in pain.

Hopefully, God willing, things will calm down, and we can get home Monday, and return to some sembalance of normalcy!

Mitch

 

[Angel_2]

This is so sad to hear about, My heart gose out to your mother. One can only hope that this was a minor setback and things will improve in the next few days. The treatment can be a lot to handle and now that she is down to her last few treatments its understandable she wants to just get it over with. Has your mother been coughing up blood for the past few days constantly? or was it one day here another day there? I'll keep praying for your mother to improve and get healthy.

I wouldn't go home until next week, just yesterday(friday) the heat index in the city was 100(or over) and with the fact its only going to get hotter saying a few more days in a place where its cooler is for the best.