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How do tell someone about your fetish?

I told my fiance over text messaging and prayed that it didn't weird her out. It didn't and it's all well
 
When I did, I didn't just come out with it. Two people I told over message things (aim), and one was in person. None of them were out of the blue. The people I was talking with knew in advance that this was serious/important to/about me. Every one of them was very reassuring and told me I wasn't so weird about it, that it was common or that there were weirder things out there than this.

One was a guy friend who I thought had the same interest, but didn't! He respected my balls for coming out in the open about it, asked me those generic questions, but other than that was pretty accepting about it.

You'll find that if you take this seriously, treat it like a real topic, and tell good friends, that it'll go over well. Just let em know you're nervous, and that this is an important step for you or some sort of shit.

Or do it the way you know you need to because any advice anyone gives won't possibly help, and that's just the way you'll need to do it anyway.

By the by, with girlfriends, it's a little different. You have to be emotionally connected or else it's just gonna... yeah. And it doesn't always go over so well, anyway. I just had a lot of luck.

But yeah.

Etc.
 
Depends on who it is.

Friends? I don't see the reason to. Significant Other? Just do it and see what happens in the moment. Make it part of foreplay.

I personally don't like to make it into a "thing". 🙂
 
It's strange. But with the advent of texting and instant messaging, out of the handful of people that know, I don't think I have VERBALLY told any of them. Does this mean lines of communication are more open or that the art of conversation is dying.

At any rate, I never bring it up out of the blue, like the "we need to talk" kinda moment. I always wait until it is contextually relevant.
 
To my husband I just told it while we were driving home. When it comes to good friends, I just do it while we talk about sex. Really not a big issue although it may seem to be one.
 
I told them to take me seriously, and that I trust them, and all of that good shit.

Then I told them.
 
The way I've done it in the past was during instances where a woman would tickle me. I'd merely react a little shocked and tell her that tickling is something I find very personal, and probably means something completely different to me than it does to her. They'd assume that I was abused as a child and ask if it's something I hate. I'd then tell them that it's quite the opposite. Even considering that I'm not open about it, I figure it's only fair to let them know to avoid miscommunication.
 
Time_of_your said:
If you have told someone about your tickling fetish, how have you done it?

Jen
Click to expand...

I told them stright out.
The first time I opened up about it was pretty difficult, but it worked out without any problems. I think I used 30min the first time to get it out. And the reaction was "that it?? I taught you was gonna say you had killed someone!"
 
Cavum said:
I told them stright out.
The first time I opened up about it was pretty difficult, but it worked out without any problems. I think I used 30min the first time to get it out. And the reaction was "that it?? I taught you was gonna say you had killed someone!"
Click to expand...

Ahaha, yes!

Anytime I tell someone new (almost always a very important person) about my fetish I build it up to be this huge thing and I always get that exact reaction -- "that's it?! That's nothing! How cute." etc.
 
I chain-smoked, shoveled snow to keep myself busy and to avoid making eye contact and took a good long time to spit it out.
 
I just take a deep breath, blurt it out, and wait for them to ask questions. I've only told a few people, but like cavum and 13 said, the reaction was the same..."that's it?"
 
I try to not make it into a huge deal. If the person I am dating starts to tickle me, I joke around and say, "stop, you know I like that". Usually it leads to more tickling or a discussion about tickling, which is always good. I just flat out tell the person that it feels good to me, makes me feel close to them, and turns me on. Guys usually get the hint pretty quickly.
 
Click

AnnieHall said:
AnnieHall's (almost) fool-proof advice on how to tell your S/O you're into tickling.

1. Bring it up early in the relationship. Not the first date, but early enough where you can end things if she's not into it. Tickling is really not that weird of a kink and settling for someone who's not into it, will suck.

2. Avoid the word "fetish." It holds negative connotations for vanillas. They'll equate it with obsession or psychological disorder.

3. Tried to hide being nervous. If you bring it up light-heartedly in a way that says, "I think this is really fun. We should try it some time," that mood will help to allay any fears the other person might have initially.

I think many women at that age are more comfortable with themselves and may be more open to trying new things. I could be wrong, but hopefully this helps.


Also, there was recently a gathering in Chicago. Unfortunately, the only female 'lees were both in their 20's, myself included. There's a chance said gathering may happen the same time next year. So, if you can make it, that'd be cool.
Click to expand...
 
I guess I'm pretty lucky, my entire family knows that I'm highly involved in the BDSM lifestyle as well as the fact that I do fetish and bondage modeling.... My father is SUPER supportive of it... surprisingly enough, it almost makes me think that there's a dungeon in his basement. 🙂 lol
 
Cavum said:
I told them stright out.
The first time I opened up about it was pretty difficult, but it worked out without any problems. I think I used 30min the first time to get it out. And the reaction was "that it?? I taught you was gonna say you had killed someone!"
Click to expand...

I believe that this is the way to go.
Though AnnieHall gave some excellent points, that all should heed. 🙂
 
if you trust the person...

well this is how the people i've told know.

the first two were in the room with me. we were talking bout turn-ons and i said i had one basic one but i wouldnt tell them. ironically....one of them tickled me into telling. one was like "thats not a big deal" and the other started laughing and finally caught her breath to tell me it was a stupid thing to be emarrassed about.


the other person...well this is REALLY weird. he tried to guess a few times...then i brought up the fact that it almost happened to me at a party. and he was like "wait how? i thought you said it included bondage" and i was like "well it can...but it can be done without...like between friends." and then he guessed it and was right...and then told me he had the same one!!!! which i thought and still think is one of the weirdest coincidences i have come across.


in reality though, most people dont think its a big deal...especially if you make it SEEM like its a big deal before you tell them. its usually almost a disappointment...or they are like "wow, you find that sexual? huh, interesting." good luck!
 
I've told a number of friends of mine, but others are truly better off not knowing. If you hang out with a lot of people in the arts, especially theatre, where there's a cultural rebel mindset and where people are accustomed to sexual variation through the presence of many who are gay, you'll have an easier time. In fact, there's your first test: a person who isn't already comfortable with homosexuality won't be ready to hear about this. (There are a few homophobes on this site, as we all know, but they're the exception.) And it is best only discussed with people you're fairly close to and have already discussed personal things with.

Let me repeat one story I've shared before. A couple of years ago I went out on a personals date. For the first couple of hours, it seemed clear that this woman and I had the makings of a good casual platonic friendship. Then, because we had already shared a lot of personal things and seemed to have a good level of mutual comfort, I told her about my fetishes. Big mistake. She acted cool for another ten minutes, then made a polite excuse to leave, then went home and removed both her personal ad and her blog from public view. Months later when her blog was back up, I read her description of our evening out, where she made it even more clear that she was afraid of me and hoped I didn't know where she lived.

But some friends of mine, when I told them, replied, "That is so cool!" And, for a frame of reference, both of the women I'm thinking of in particular were actresses whom I know through my theatre circles. Reactions will vary much more widely outside of that realm.
 
It took me a while to build up the courage to tell a girl about my fetish. When this girl asked me out for dinner to catch up as we used to date, I told her i have to tell her something important and it couldn't be over the phone.

She knows me incredibly well and always tickles me when i put her on the spot or prove her wrong.

When i finally told her at dinner, she was like "thank God thats it"?

I was like what do you mean? She told me after knowing me all these years i never acted that way and she thought someone we both knew died or i got a girl pregnant lol. She was relieved that was it.

I am lot more comfortable with it since.
 
Skipadeedoodah said:
I just take a deep breath, blurt it out, and wait for them to ask questions. I've only told a few people, but like cavum and 13 said, the reaction was the same..."that's it?"
Click to expand...

I always feel like shit when that happens to me.
It's happened 2 times with the "that's it" reaction ...
and it's like "well yeah that's it ... and it may seem like nothing
to YOU but to me it's pretty much everything ..."

I dunno it's kinda like announcing you are going to get married
and everyone goes .. "oh, that's it?"
 
I don't know if I'd equate being into tickling with getting married. And most people respond with "That's it" because those that tell them about their fetish are all nervous and like, "I have to tell you something. *deep breath* It's kind of weird." They hype it up by overreacting about how the person may respond. Being all nervous and shit. To be honest, I'd prefer that response to "Holy shit, you're fucking sick." and you can't really expect people to be like "Wow! Congratulations!"
 
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