How do we deal with Imposters?

[Hockeyfeet]

I hate that I even have to type this question....but I'm sort of pissed off and looking for advice. The super short version is, I have been chatting woth someone who described themselves as a woman. I'll cut to the chase and simply put, after numerous emails, all the pieces came together and it became very clear that this person is NOT a woman and is indeed a man. Once accused they have cut off all correspondence.

Now, this person is a TMF'er. Relatively new to the group. And apparently has been talking to a number of TMF men. It just burns me that guys do this and I just want advice. What would you do? Has this happened before? How do moderators deal with this? Part of me wants to out this person. Another part of me doesn't want to waste anymore time.

Lastly, guys, all I can say is be careful when messaging a woman. Just because their profile pic includes a beautiful woman, doesn't mean you're talking to that person. Don't readily toss around your photos if you're not sure who it is on the other side. Sadly, this advice can equally serve women out there.

Fake people suck.

 

[Comfort Eagle]

Narc and get them banned.

Also, it should go without suspicion that 10/10 knockouts that are desperate to get tickle tortured and tickle torture you should raise a little flag.

 

[AmishTickler]

Unfortunately, when you're dealing with the "internets", if something seems too good to be true, it usually isn't true.

Sad but true.

 

[BellybTickler]

Burn em at the stake! No, but seriously, you can't by any means act so naively. Every one of us males would love that 10/10 female we talk to, to be the real deal. Unfortunately, they 10/10 are usually not. And there is nothing we can do to prevent it, just act wiser the next go around. Consider it a lesson learned my friend, and continue on your ticklish adventure!

 

[mabus]

Also, it should go without suspicion that 10/10 knockouts that are desperate to get tickle tortured and tickle torture you should raise a little flag.

I have to totally agree with this, and I never got around to starting my thread aimed toward the women on the forum who were having problems getting guys to tickle them but.....
Okay, in the real world, if a hot women wants to get tickled, and she's, like, 1% assertive, she's getting tickled!

Hell, if an OK woman wanted me to tickle her, all she'd have to do is wear stockings and I'm there. A hot girl in nylons...good lord, gay guys would tickle her!

A hot girl doesn't need to come on a fetish forum and chat with random guys about getting tickled, she can get the real thing whenever the hell she wants - real hands on real feet, with real laughter.

Yes, all things are possible and there may be girls who are into that, but..... okay, I really can't see that. It's the reason why, whenever a hot girl does join people are skeptical. Why would she need to be here, when she can get all the tickling she wants ...anywhere?!

So if you're spending hours cyber tickling some hottie....she's not a hottie.

 

[Myriads]

What should you do?

Walk away and take it as a lesson learned.

We are not the identity police here. We learned long ago that we can't enforce it, or police it. People will pretend to be things they are not. Over time one learns to keep interactions controlled until one can be at least assured of the basics of the person you are interacting with.

It can be hard if you've been looking for someone to share you fetish with. To discuss, and possibly open a relationship. But one learns.

If you can show that they have stolen images of a person then we will ban them for identity theft. Beyond that, unless you can prove they are not their gender they claim, and by that I mean have real proof in hand, not your guess (though it may be right) based on your feelings.

Attacking them is a rules violation, and can hurt your own accounts status. Don't do that.

Also, for any member that wants to prove their identity, I have a process for it that is pretty solid. And will happily do it upon request of a person (No I won't ID your playmate, I'll ID YOU just so we are clear) This is mostly used by models on forum, or young women that don't know anyone in the community and who want to start solidly with proof they are female.

Myriads

 

[TicklingTips]

Yes, I've had similar issues recently...a few "women" messaging me saying "Hi, I'm (insert name here), do you like to tickle women? Do you like to tickle torture barefoot ladies? I'm very ticklish, how would you tickle me?"

Obviously, I assume straight away that they're a sociopathic middle aged male hiding in their parent's basement. And, I hope subtly, ask questions that kind of show my suspicion. What's funny is that they always claim to be german. And I speak german - and they never seem to.

It generally ends within a couple of minutes with them getting angry that I won't feed their fantasy, and they send one final abusive message, and sign off. Weird thing is, this happens all the time. In fact I'm pretty sure I've had the same guy try it on me several times!

 

[Austinnn]

Ohhhhhh the Internet.

 

[3xPIN]

I haven't read any of the other comments, so sorry if this sounds redundant.

You say you are new to this site. Are you also new to the internet? How about the world?

You always have to take a chance with someone's sincerity. On the internet, the chance increases. On a fetish site...What is rule number 20 of the internet? Oh yes, "There are no girls on the internet." But seriously, when you meet a 'girl' on a site like this, you are really rollin' the dice that it is actually a chick; you have to remember, the odds are not in your favor!

But how do you deal? The same way you deal with any other bullshit in the world: Calm down after the initial anger, breath deep, say, "Oh well, this shit happens," and move on. Yeah it sucks. But you can't let it get you down too much. Bummer dude. Buy look on the bright side, at least you only thought it was a chick over the internet!

 

[UnsolvedMystery]

I am convinced that if it looks too good to be true it is. There is a site called tinyeye or something and if some hottie sends you a pic you can get this site to see if it is online elsewhere and get an idea if the person is a faker.

Before I met my current girlfriend I was too busy to get out to bars and things so I tried online dating. There are some women's profiles that look so good you get a nose for the ones that are created by the dating site themselves just to sucker guys into joining. It happens everywhere for different reasons.

 

[rhiannon]

To say that there are no women on this forum would be wrong. I have to know because I am one. 🙂 It would probably be too much to claim I am a hottie, but I'm also not a total nightmare.

The thing is - "women" who come off as too eager usually aren't women! You most of the time can tell on their screen name already. Hotbustyblondticklishbabe is most likely the complete oppostie of what is portrayed! Women who have the sex drive and interests of a man....are men! It's that easy!

 

[milagros317]

The best advice I have to give you with regard to meeting actual, real women who are TMF members is to attend a gathering. You will find dozens of women at NEST, and many are indeed attractive. Over the internet, nobody's actual gender and appearance is certain.

 

[Fat Bastard]

It would probably be too much to claim I am a hottie

Stop it Rhiannon, we’ve seen your pics!

But as for the OP’s dilemma, I’m curious as to why anyone would believe anything that goes on here to be any more real than a getting an email offering you one million dollars if you just send them your bank account & SS number?

 

[rhiannon]

Stop it Rhiannon, we’ve seen your pics!

LOL, thanks, but none of those showed my face. 😉

 

[P[a]pi]

Unfortunately doing nothing besides your best on your end to make sure it doesn't happen to you again is the only thing you should do.

 

[socktickler86]

Pro tip: Webcams.

I think everyone needs to just be honest about the dishonesty of forums like this (teehee!). People need to not get their hopes up, don't role play with people the second you pm them or whatever people like to do, and ask to see them on a webcam before investing too much into them (after chatting a few weeks). For years laptops have included integrated webcams, so the odds that they have 0 access to one have been growing smaller and smaller, and it doesn't really involve sending a pic that could get distributed over the internet (although I've personally never seen this actually happen). So if someone claims they have no way of showing you who they are.... yah.

As for pics, double pro tip: Google Image Search. Google's image search has a feature that lets you search an image and find where it's been posted on the internet. I decided to test it out on a forum member's post here, who shall remain nameless, of his "friend". 15 seconds later you find out they were posted 3 years ago on a different site.

And let's just be real, as with any type of interaction in real life, if they won't disclose a single thing about themselves, what is the likelihood that you'll become friends or ever meet? Ever had a friend in real life that refused to tell you their name or tell you where they work or other simple things like that? And before anyone complains, I mean work/real name in real life is on the same level as a pic or other basic information in online interactions. Of course you probably don't want to give out your full real name and workplace to someone you just met online. The actual people I've met online had 0 trouble disclosing basic personal information like a first name and a pic. So as everyone else has pointed out, that 18 year old hottie that likes to be tickled in a bra and panties.... his name isn't Jessica.

Also, personally, I'm for outing people. If you know they're using someone elses identity, tell the mods, tell the people you know that talk to them, etc. Of course, be sure about it. If "20 year old Sarah from New York"s pic comes up on google search as a facebook pic of a Jessica from California, you know it.

 

[socktickler86]

This is the second time Ive seen someone make mention of doing this. How do you do this? I do not see any option to upload a photo and have google determine if it is located somewhere else. Please explain.

In the search box for google images, to the right there is a little camera. Click this, it will allow you to 1) upload a photo to have google search it or 2) enter a picture url for google to search for. Google seems to be more advanced than other websites as it seems to use pattern matching instead of just looking at file names.

 

[giggle-maker]

Still wondering...If there is a man claiming to be a woman and using that to mess with men on this site....

Why shouldn't they be "outed"?

 

[Darth Sidious]

Ditto - that's just plain creepy! To such a person I say, get a life!

Still wondering...If there is a man claiming to be a woman and using that to mess with men on this site....

Why shouldn't they be "outed"?

 

[c7_assassin]

LOL, thanks, but none of those showed my face. 😉

You can't get away so easily. You're hot and you know it. 😉

 

[porcelaindoll2]

Like everyone else has said do nothing and try not to let it happen again. Oh and web cams are awesome!

 

[-Hari-]

Still wondering...If there is a man claiming to be a woman and using that to mess with men on this site....

Why shouldn't they be "outed"?

Simply because its no ones place to do so.

If a user wants to claim they are the opposite sex then that really is their business and anyone who is affected by them should maybe look into how much trust they are giving to people they have met on the internet.

If anyone feels or knows that a user is faking their gender and has a problem with it then its best to steer clear rather than single them out publicly and create a Golden Rule Violation.

 

[giggle-maker]

Still wondering...If there is a man claiming to be a woman and using that to mess with men on this site....

Why shouldn't they be "outed"?

Simply because its no ones place to do so.

If a user wants to claim they are the opposite sex then that really is their business and anyone who is affected by them should maybe look into how much trust they are giving to people they have met on the internet.

If anyone feels or knows that a user is faking their gender and has a problem with it then its best to steer clear rather than single them out publicly and create a Golden Rule Violation.

Now why is this NOT a Golden Rule Violation?

 

[-Hari-]

Now why is this NOT a Golden Rule Violation?

Golden rule = "If you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all"

If the suspected faker isnt being abusive etc then they are not breaking the rule. Lying isnt a GR Violation, the intention of the lie may be to deceive so like I said, its best to be more careful who you trust on the internet.

 

[mabus]

I'd love to make a humble suggestion - perhaps it's time we added a new rule about lying to the Golden Rules.
Hell, all the members could even vote on it! (....But then, people who already have multiple member's names would vote 400 times...)


And yeah, the "These are my friend's pics!" needed to be honest too, and just say "Here are some pictures I found online, love to share with everybody."
If I had good friends as hot as these girls...I wouldn't be spending time bragging on an internet forum, I'd be hanging out with and/or tickling them!

I do, and a lot of others, but we flat out say "Here are a bunch of pictures I found, so you can enjoy them. I don't know any of these people, nor will I ever, unless I go
to Romania, and meet a bunch of hot pantyhose clad girls. And I'll never go to Romania, unless I join MI-6. And I'm not part of MI-6, I stock shelves and make orders...."
God I love honesty!