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I have beaten the mighty machine that is, "The Telemarketer"!

K

KrazieDog

Verified
Joined
Dec 27, 2001
Messages
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So, like everyone else, I'm perturbed to no end by telemarketers. For years you've hung up on them, yelled at them, lied to them, etc. Every time I'm bothered by one, even when I hang up on them, I'm upset that they bothered me in the first place. Granted I know it is their job, and I don't fault the individual calling me as much as his/her company, but still I hang up upset.... UNTIL.

So today I'm on skype in a video conference no less and we are cutting up and talking about Willy Wonka and how much the new one sucked compared to the original version of the movie. At this point the phone rings and then Leah tells me "OMG you should totally sing "The Candyman Can" (from Willy Wonka) to whoever it is on the phone". I look at caller ID and see, "unknown name/unknown number" aka telemarketer, and think YEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSS!!!! YES!! Y-E-S!! (for you Cook fans 😉)

I pick up the call, get "Is Mr xxx home" and I start singing "The Candyman Can".... Well he listens to the first line "I can take the sunshine, and sprinkle it with dew" and tells me "that's great sir" and I just keep going, without breaking the rhythm and continue on. Near the end of the verse, again he said "that's great sir, can I steal a minute?" And I go in to the two sentence chorus. By the fourth word of the second verse he hung up on me. :woot::woot:

Let me tell you, as a guy, you have to temporarily turn in your man card for singing that song, but the feeling you get by the end result is soooooo worth it. I hang up cracking up and look to the video conference where Leah has all but fell off of her stool from laughing her ass off. I don't know why I felt so stoked, but getting them to hang up on me in such a calm way felt 100x better them hanging up on THEM or yelling. I'm going to start doing it every time now. :happyfloa:rockon::dancingsheep:
 
BWAAAAAAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I'm SO bitchslapping you whenever I see you again. 😀
 
LMAO

Sir, I would like to shake your hand!

I may have to try this technique next chance I get. I can do a pretty mean version of 'The Lollipop Guild' song from the Wizard of Oz ...
 
My favorite thing to do is make them think twice about calling me.

One recently ran through this whole spill, and then told me I could win a car by buying some magazines.

I paused sighed, and said "Do you think this is funny, offering a car and magazines to someone who is blind."

They apologized profusely and voluntarily took my name off of their call list and their partners call lists.

Rob
 
KrazieDog said:
So, like everyone else, I'm perturbed to no end by telemarketers. For years you've hung up on them, yelled at them, lied to them, etc. Every time I'm bothered by one, even when I hang up on them, I'm upset that they bothered me in the first place. Granted I know it is their job, and I don't fault the individual calling me as much as his/her company, but still I hang up upset.... UNTIL.

So today I'm on skype in a video conference no less and we are cutting up and talking about Willy Wonka and how much the new one sucked compared to the original version of the movie. At this point the phone rings and then Leah tells me "OMG you should totally sing "The Candyman Can" (from Willy Wonka) to whoever it is on the phone". I look at caller ID and see, "unknown name/unknown number" aka telemarketer, and think YEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSS!!!! YES!! Y-E-S!! (for you Cook fans 😉)

I pick up the call, get "Is Mr xxx home" and I start singing "The Candyman Can".... Well he listens to the first line "I can take the sunshine, and sprinkle it with dew" and tells me "that's great sir" and I just keep going, without breaking the rhythm and continue on. Near the end of the verse, again he said "that's great sir, can I steal a minute?" And I go in to the two sentence chorus. By the fourth word of the second verse he hung up on me. :woot::woot:

Let me tell you, as a guy, you have to temporarily turn in your man card for singing that song, but the feeling you get by the end result is soooooo worth it. I hang up cracking up and look to the video conference where Leah has all but fell off of her stool from laughing her ass off. I don't know why I felt so stoked, but getting them to hang up on me in such a calm way felt 100x better them hanging up on THEM or yelling. I'm going to start doing it every time now. :happyfloa:rockon::dancingsheep:
Click to expand...

I used to be a telemarketer years ago, and you don't really "beat" the telemarketer". In fact, had it been me talking to you, I probably would've hung up and laughed about it with my workmates. Ultimately, it breaks up the shift, you're doing the telemarketer a favour by amusing him for a few seconds before he returns to calling the next potentially rude person.

The most innovative thing you can do to a telemarketer is simply hang up on them. It pisses them off, because it shows that you are unwilling to offer any time of day for them.

-Xionking
 
Last edited:
Robace252 said:
My favorite thing to do is make them think twice about calling me.

One recently ran through this whole spill, and then told me I could win a car by buying some magazines.

I paused sighed, and said "Do you think this is funny, offering a car and magazines to someone who is blind."

They apologized profusely and voluntarily took my name off of their call list and their partners call lists.

Rob
Click to expand...

:rowfull: I'm gonna remember that for future use.
 
I let them get on a roll...then I put the phone down and go about my business and pick it back up 10 or 20 minutes later...

They are never still there for some reason...:numberone:
 
I did telefundraising for awhile in college. I would have loved a dude singing to me. Usually I just got annoyed-sounding people who hadn't paid off their student loans yet, but were being hounded by my annoying undergrad self for even more money.
 
Oh my gosh that is SOOOO funny! I had a telemarketer call tonight and I told her we were in the midst of a memorial service.... She said she was sorry and hung up. I never got to tell her that we were remembering all kinds of good times we've had at the track together. LOL

I heard of this one story where someone pretended to be a cop and the home the telemarketer reached was supposedly a murder scene and the "cop" started interrogating the telemarketer and asking how he knew the "deceased" and so on.

I have to start remembering all these things for the next time!
 
Robace252 said:
My favorite thing to do is make them think twice about calling me.

One recently ran through this whole spill, and then told me I could win a car by buying some magazines.

I paused sighed, and said "Do you think this is funny, offering a car and magazines to someone who is blind."

They apologized profusely and voluntarily took my name off of their call list and their partners call lists.

Rob
Click to expand...

That is fucking AWESOME. :numberone:
 
Memories of a Telemarketer

I showed up once , twenty years ago , to an office at Bay and Bloor.

My first and only telemarketing experience

That's where and learned the hard way that I had been cycled through a 1/2 day training program to get this VIP telemarketing job - which means the call list was qualified

I didn't last the morning - I looked around at all those people who were slowly becoming more and more callous and the manager who furiously blamed the list and the list makers to justify his low numbers. He berated his boss and coaxed some people and threatened others with looks and glances - he tried the glance on me and I smiled - it didnt work.

Also I never used the prepared script, not once - and he didnt like that

I left at break and probably cried in the subway on the way home to cleanse my mind and recover from the experience. Those were tough times
 
KrazieDog said:
So, like everyone else, I'm perturbed to no end by telemarketers. For years you've hung up on them, yelled at them, lied to them, etc. Every time I'm bothered by one, even when I hang up on them, I'm upset that they bothered me in the first place. Granted I know it is their job, and I don't fault the individual calling me as much as his/her company, but still I hang up upset.... UNTIL.

So today I'm on skype in a video conference no less and we are cutting up and talking about Willy Wonka and how much the new one sucked compared to the original version of the movie. At this point the phone rings and then Leah tells me "OMG you should totally sing "The Candyman Can" (from Willy Wonka) to whoever it is on the phone". I look at caller ID and see, "unknown name/unknown number" aka telemarketer, and think YEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSS!!!! YES!! Y-E-S!! (for you Cook fans 😉)

I pick up the call, get "Is Mr xxx home" and I start singing "The Candyman Can".... Well he listens to the first line "I can take the sunshine, and sprinkle it with dew" and tells me "that's great sir" and I just keep going, without breaking the rhythm and continue on. Near the end of the verse, again he said "that's great sir, can I steal a minute?" And I go in to the two sentence chorus. By the fourth word of the second verse he hung up on me. :woot::woot:

Let me tell you, as a guy, you have to temporarily turn in your man card for singing that song, but the feeling you get by the end result is soooooo worth it. I hang up cracking up and look to the video conference where Leah has all but fell off of her stool from laughing her ass off. I don't know why I felt so stoked, but getting them to hang up on me in such a calm way felt 100x better them hanging up on THEM or yelling. I'm going to start doing it every time now. :happyfloa:rockon::dancingsheep:
Click to expand...

Dude I'm totally making you sing that song next time I'm on skype.
 
xionking said:
I used to be a telemarketer years ago, and you don't really "beat" the telemarketer". In fact, had it been me talking to you, I probably would've hung up and laughed about it with my workmates. Ultimately, it breaks up the shift, you're doing the telemarketer a favour by amusing him for a few seconds before he returns to calling the next potentially rude person.

The most innovative thing you can do to a telemarketer is simply hang up on them. It pisses them off, because it shows that you are unwilling to offer any time of day for them.

-Xionking
Click to expand...

I used to be a telemarketer as well and I completely agree with this statement. During our breaks we would all go outside and exchange stories about what people would say on the phone. By doing stuff like that you aren't really "beating" the telemarketer because you were not going buy anything anyway and all you gave the telemarketer was a story to tell at break and something to make them laugh.

I disagree with the strategy of just hanging up though. We were given a bonus for whoever made the most sales each week so when people just hung up on me I saw it as a chance to call more people. The only thing that ever pissed me off were the people who got angry about me calling them and would try to give me some kind of lecture about how I was interupting their day. I got angry about those people because it was like they didn't understand that it was my job and I didn't have a choice about it. It is one of those jobs where you have a lot of funny stories you can tell friends, but I would never want to do it again because of the pay and the hours.
 
HILARIOUS!

very creative! I myself like to pretend i'm a really old person who can barely hear! after i've got them screaming into the phone, i just calmly say "alright, alright... stop screaming. sheesh!"
 
QBWeaver said:
I heard of this one story where someone pretended to be a cop and the home the telemarketer reached was supposedly a murder scene and the "cop" started interrogating the telemarketer and asking how he knew the "deceased" and so on.
Click to expand...

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lmao. I should remeber some of these.
 
OMG, you guys are KILLING me! Thank God for waterproof mascara!!!:jester:

I'm surprised no one mentioned this yet but the best response I ever heard was from a Seinfeld episode. Jerry told the telemarketer, "I'm sorry but I'm kind of in the middle of something, can I have your home phone number so I can call you back? What's that? You don't want me calling you at home? Well. Now you know how I feel." And he hung up on them.
XOXO
 
Just to clarify also, I know I didn't "beat" the system. I just used it for a funny thread title. I have no doubt the guy laughed when he hung up and that made me feel better too. I normally don't answer the phone at all. Twas fun all the same. :seesaw:
 
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