I have suppressed my fetish - is this familiar with anyone else?

[Babyshambles]

Hi All,

Many of you will recognise me from some of the controversial posts that I have made on this forum.

I have talked about the Golden Feathers, Religion, Politics, Jokes, Demographics of the Tickling Forum, Binkys and all manner of other topics.

One of the topics I have avoided in many ways is Tickling. In fact, I have suppressed this aspect of my sexuality in a big way. I try to avoid talking about it. It's almost as if I am embarassed by it and have not really explored tickling in any meaningful way.

I have thought about setting up a tickling production company for a long time, mainly as this will give me a channel to explore my fetish and love of tickling, in a way that I would otherwise find very hard.

Can anyone understand where I am coming from? Has anyone else suppressed this fetish? Is it healthy? Or do you embrace your love of tickling and enjoy a healthy lifestyle.

How much of a role does tickling play in your life?

Can anyone make any suggestions for how I can come to terms with my love of tickling, lower my stiff upper lip and British reserve and have some fun 🙂

This is a serious question from me - thanks in advance guys

 

[Babyshambles]

In other words,

Is there an event happening in the UK soon, and where do I sign up. I suddenly want to speak with like-minded individuals.

 

[Artoo]

If your liking for tickling is an inherent part of your sexuality, then it won't do you any harm to explore it a little.

UK Gatherings tend to be organised by members of the United Kingdom Tickling Forum, and any information about upcoming munches (public meetings with no play, usually held at a pub) and gatherings can be found on there.

🙂

 

[Perduabo]

I do not see any reason to suppress my fetish. It is a part of who I am, and by acting as though I were ashamed or embarassed of it would be basically saying that I am ashamed of myself.

Like all aspects of my personal life, I don't wear them on my sleeve, but I don't shy away from speaking about them either. By suppressing it, you're just going to make yourself frustrated and repressed - and thats never a good thing.

I don't live in the UK, so I don't know if any events are taking place there, but if you want to explore your sexuality and have the means of doing so, than starting a tickling production company may be something to experience and try out.

Good luck to you.

 

[TklDuo-Ann]

I think many will likely relate to varying degrees. I know I can. It's taken years to come to terms with this in myself. After all..."It's not normal!" BAH!!! Who gets to decide what is and isn't normal, anyway?! But, for many of us, we have "normalcy" pounded into us from day one. This is bad. That's bad. We have it preached to us ad nauseum.

In the end, what I finally did was simply to ask myself if it made ME happy. Yes! Then, I asked myself if it was hurting anyone else for me to like this. No! Well, then where's the bad in it? Why should I hide it? Why should I put myself down for simply being me?

Being around like-minded folks has been a huge part of coming to accept this in myself. Meeting others in real life at gatherings and seeing no two-headed monsters (other than venray) has also helped. It takes time for everyone to learn who they truly are and even more time to come to terms with any surprizes they might discover along the way. Be patient with yourself.

If you can make it to that gathering, I highly recommend it. It can be a very liberating experience. As for starting a company in order to do so, I'm not sure how well that would work. Forcing the issue can also make it more intimidating. Plus, turning something you love into a job can rob you of that joy. Take it a step at a time as you feel ready. It's worth the journey!

 

[Skipadeedoodah]

I know what you mean Babyshambles. When I first joined the forum, I was trying to think of a name, and the first thing I thought was, "I can't make a name that has a reference to tickling in it! Then people here will know I like being tickled!"

I lurked and was really nonactive for a bunch of years here, then one day, I dunno, a switch flipped and all of a sudden decided I wanted in on the crazy shenanigans that go on around here. I went to my 1st gathering, and then my 2nd..and a munch in between, and slowly but surely I started getting more comfortable with the way I feel about tickling. Just being surrounded by like-minded people and realizing that they're not all these weird, creepy old men drooling over a few tickle-porn stars, but real people you could bump into at the grocery store or concert or going for a walk...really helps YOU feel more normal.

That having been said, I think many of us are still a work-in-progress. I've become alot more comfortable with my fetish, but I still have a loooong way to go to be where I want to be in terms of being comfortable with myself and my likes and dislikes. Not to mention, I'm sure I haven't even discovered some of my likes and dislikes yet, let alone get comfortable with them.

I don't want to say suppressing your fetish unhealthy, as in it's going to kill you or something, but you're definitely depriving yourself of alot of fun!! I totally encourage you to get out to an event nearby. I really think it'll make a huge difference for you. 🙂 Good luck!!

 

[rhiannon]

Personally, I don't think it's normal to be into tickling. But I don't care. 🙂 I like not being normal! 🙂

But yes, I was very embarrassed about my fetish for a long time. Even when I realized I was not the only one liking it I was still a lurker until a someone I met online and I'm chatting with for years now (even met and consider him a friend in the meantime) brought me out of the closet.

Ever since I am writing tickling novels and am not ashamed of anything anymore. Everybody I talk to about sex also knows that I'm into tickling - and I have never had anybody think of me as being perverted or anything.

I still don't get a lot of tickling, but it doesn't really bother me. Every now and then I do, and that's enough for me.

 

[milagros317]

I don't want to suppress my interests. (It's OK to call them fetishes if you prefer that word.) I want to express them and enjoy them.

 

[rhiannon]

I would say if it is a sexual turn-on it is more a fetish than an interest or hobby! But that's just me! 🙂

 

[Carsomyr]

I don't want to suppress my interests. (It's OK to call them fetishes if you prefer that word.) I want to express them and enjoy them.

I'm with Mils on this one. I never really had a problem with it, although I obviously wouldn't ever be open with it when I'm in the 'nilla world. I never really had a doubt that others were into tickling too, even when I was a kid, but one thing that DID surprise me when I registered on TMF was that there were so many 'lees out there. Positive surprise, you could say! 😀

Anyway, my philosophy is, basically: If you like tickling, or anything else for that matter... just embrace it. We wear too many masks in todays society anyway... If you can't be yourself, even WITH yourself, then you're in trouble.

 

[Deleted member 66627]

Before I found the forum it was a day-to-day constant thought.

Now that I have the chance to comfortably and openly discuss it, I don't think as deeply on it as I once did.

 

[huskys]

Discovering this forum helped me as well.
And meeting a few people has helped even more.
Get along to a gathering as soon as you are comfortable with it.
I'm sure it will help.

 

[Babyshambles]

Thanks guys for the candid thoughts.

I have definitely supressed this for too long. I want to explore it more, and will try to get to a gathering.

 

[Mr.Tickler]

I have suppressed my fetish just about all my life, as other then the discovery of this site its for me,at least, not an easy topic to just bring up in casual conversation with anyone.Its something I'm going to have to address sooner or later,however.Its been my own private secret for years now.

 

[scorpionldr]

Hi All,

Many of you will recognise me from some of the controversial posts that I have made on this forum.

I have talked about the Golden Feathers, Religion, Politics, Jokes, Demographics of the Tickling Forum, Binkys and all manner of other topics.

One of the topics I have avoided in many ways is Tickling. In fact, I have suppressed this aspect of my sexuality in a big way. I try to avoid talking about it. It's almost as if I am embarassed by it and have not really explored tickling in any meaningful way.

I have thought about setting up a tickling production company for a long time, mainly as this will give me a channel to explore my fetish and love of tickling, in a way that I would otherwise find very hard.

Can anyone understand where I am coming from? Has anyone else suppressed this fetish? Is it healthy? Or do you embrace your love of tickling and enjoy a healthy lifestyle.

How much of a role does tickling play in your life?

Can anyone make any suggestions for how I can come to terms with my love of tickling, lower my stiff upper lip and British reserve and have some fun 🙂

This is a serious question from me - thanks in advance guys

Well, in ways I believe I suppress my tickling fetish. I don't really try to talk or think about it much at all in real life. The only time I really pay attention to it is when I'm checking out videos, or when I feel I have to let someone who I want to become close to that I like it. I feel like because I'm so reserved in tickling in life that I take the opportunities to tickle when I can, and when i do, sometimes I go overboard. One girl I was dating described me as a "tickle rampage" in the aftermath of dating. Living with tickling the way I do is hard. But I have a feeling one day that when I have a chance to live more openly, that my tickling lifestyle will feel more natural to me.

 

[Imlatino]

How much of a role does tickling play in my life...hmm...I never tickle anyone. :'O

 

[Babyshambles]

Could society change to make life easier for us?

I can tell you for a fact, that I have been asked to leave a house I was sharing when the occupants found out that I had a tickling fetish. They used the adjective "freak". Now, perhaps they would have been more understanding if they hadn't found out about my fetish via googling my full name. Perhaps I should have been more upfront with these people, but I never talked about tickling and never tickled anyone in the house.

I also lost a job through tickling, when the head of HR googled my name and found a message I had made on this forum at age 18, talking about having a love of tickling and looking for a ticklish female in the UK. Of course, he admitted nothing, but there was a spike in traffic on Google for my surname at the time I was inexplicably asked to leave the company 18 months ago. Actually, I understand that one of my colleagues "googled" the name and made a complaint. Why? I don't know. But I suppose I lost some credibility when people found out about my tickling fetish. Or maybe I was a jerk and not doing the job properly and i'm making excuses - either way, I was expendable and I worked for an ultra-cautious company that is VERY concerned about it's reputation.

For the most part, this is an inocuous fetish, but in some conservative walks of life, it is better to leave no audit trail of your fetish online, which is a shame.

Could society be more accommodating of us? I'm not talking about massive changes. Just tolerance. Let people know that we exist, that we're ordinary, decent people. Would it work? Would we even want that?

 

[Excess]

I do as much as I need to. Hell, at some point I'll probably have to completely. But until then you're stuck with me. XD

 

[rhiannon]

Seriously now, guys....how exactly would you like to act with your fetish? How would you like to live it more openly? I mean....what you do in your bedroom is NOBODY ELSE'S business!

I mean, I can sense fairly well who I can share it with and who I can't, and if I really some day meet someone who is so damn curious about me that he or she googles my name (I am not even sure if someone could find out anything about my fetish if they googled), then I would say that person is the one with a problem, not me! 🙂

Babyshambles, I highly doubt you were fired because of your fetish if you didn't harrass anybody at work, because what you do in your free time is none of the company's business whatsoever!

 

[scorpionldr]

I think the overall vibe from people is that they perceive people to be much more open in their sex-charged TnA lifestyle, and that because sexaulity is so emphasized in today's society, there is no comment. However, tickling is considered childish by many, and it's treated like such in that people state "oh, NOBODY likes to be tickled!!". I mean, if the world is all about "different strokes for different folks" then why should there be a problem at all?

 

[SpiffyTickler]

I don’t think I would be anywhere near as happy or satisfied with my life as I am now if I wasn’t able to indulge in my fetish in some way. It’s not that it consumes my life, but it is an important aspect of it. It wouldn’t be healthy for me emotionally to completely suppress this part of who I am.

Tickling has always played some role in my personal life. I’ve never felt like I’ve had to hide it from any of the women I’ve been in relationships with. Once things have reached that point of intimacy I either mention it or simply go for it and see how they respond to that sort of play. They've always been receptive to it, although not always without some questions on their part and explanations on mine, and usually end up getting very into it! In the end, because I'm not afraid to bring out this part of me, I've been able to share my tickling fetish with these people and they've ended up really enjoying it themselves!

I only really started to go out and become more involved with this side of me two years ago when I started going to the tickle gatherings held in my area. This was the first time I actually met other people in person who liked tickling in a similar way to me. It’s also where I truly started to really explore this side of me and experience things that I never would have without them (because you can really only do so much on your own with someone else that simply enjoys what you’re doing to them on a non-fetish level). Being part of a whole group of ticklers taking part in tickling scenes with very attractive and intelligent women, who actually love being tied-up and tickled, was something in the realm of fantasy that I never thought I’d get a chance to take part in, yet the gatherings provided a venue for just that! I’ve met lots of great people, gone on some very interesting outings to BDSM dungeons, and otherwise seen and done a plethora of awesome things that I wouldn’t have had a chance to otherwise.

Now, tickling is a huge part of my life. I keep it separate from my public life, of course, but I fully embrace it as a part of my life. Asides from the gatherings, which obviously play a big role in my tickling life, I have an amazing circle of friends made up of people I’ve met through the gatherings that I meet up with often for both tickling and non-tickling hangouts. Overall, I’m doing something tickling-related almost every week.

Honestly, where as some others might characterize their tickling fetish as some sort of curse, I would have to call it a blessing for me. Without it, I wouldn’t have met such an amazing group of people at the gatherings, made the great friends that I have or had the chance to take part in some truly amazing experiences.

With all that said, my advice to you is to find a gathering and go to it. My decision to go to one was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made, and I feel that my life is as great as it is now because of it. Don't suppress your desires when they could lead you to a lot of happiness.

 

[SlaverTickler]

Hi All,
Can anyone understand where I am coming from? Has anyone else suppressed this fetish? Is it healthy? Or do you embrace your love of tickling and enjoy a healthy lifestyle.

I suppress and embrace my love of tickling. Suppressing sexual ergs is part of life, if we didn't we would fall back to barbarian like ways were women used to wack men with clubs and drag them back to there caves to do who knows what done to them. Ah, the good old days lol.

Honestly though it is good that you suppress to a degree, if people didn't the world would be full of slutty women or rapist men... probably a bit of both. Civilization is pretty much built on a certain amount of suppression of sexual or other desires, if we didn't the we never would have the freedoms we have (in certain places) because anybody who was bigger would just take what they wanted from somebody who was smaller.

If the ergs get bad, then simply write about them. Make up a fiction lee (or use a celebrity like I do) and turn you suppressed erg into something useful to everybody on the forum. Even if it isn't that good at least you can get some of it out of your system. Thats pretty much how I deal with my ergs.

 

[LindyHopper]

Hey babyshambles!

So did you ever make it to that gathering? I hope so - I highly recommend them! 😀 I hope you don't mind the bump... I just felt like taking a moment to ponder what my life would be like now if I'd never gone and attended one, if I'd decided instead to suppress this part of who I am. Let me see.....


I'd probably be kind of frustrated. A partner who indulges your interest in tickling is a wonderful thing, but it's not the same as sharing a real passion for it.

I'd probably be worse at communicating these desires. Practice makes perfect, and a supportive audience who understands makes an enormous difference.

I never would've encountered BDSM or polyamory as lifestyles, which has been very eye-opening and instructive. I feel like I now know a bit more about sexuality and life.

I could've skipped out on some drama, of both the internet and small in-person community variety.... Ah well. 🙄

I might've married an extremely sexually conservative man who was completely wrong for me. Hmm..... no, scratch that, I really don't think that would've happened. 😛

I would be missing some of the most important people in my life, ones that I like and love.


I think I can only echo the advice of many people on this thread, which is don't try to suppress this part of who you are, when there's so much fun and happiness out there to be had. 🙂

 

[solescratcher99]

I don't see it as a matter of repression vs. expression. That's too much of a false dichotomy for me. I see it as a matter of how and with whom do I express it.

For example, and I'm sure most of you can agree with me on this, I enjoy it a lot more when I actually 'know' the person I'm expressing it too. Then again, I'm one of those guys who thinks its a little 'weird' to just want to have sex with someone based on their looks alone. Most of my guy friends will look at a girl whose outside jogging or passing by, start going batshit about how hot she is and meanwhile I'm thinking "how can he get turned on without even knowing the girl?" Unless the girl reminds me of someone else I know, in which case I'm thinking of the girl I actually know, there's no way I could be sexually attracted to someone without having some 'meaning' attached to her looks.

Also, its not 'sexual suppression' unless you see it that way. I know this sounds like some weird new age-y buddhist babble, but letting go of your sexual desire for the time being or with a specific people in your life is not bad or harmful. For example, I'm definitely not going to have this discussion with my parents. lol. That's simply not the kind of relationship I have with them.

On the other hand, it is harmful when you're in a relationship with that person because its usually unhelpful to be untrue to your intentions in relationships anyway. And I've found out that most girls aren't big assholes who are going to judge and shame us for liking something kinky. Unless they're really young and are all hung up on what their parents, teachers and church has told them, they'll typically like it IF they like you.

Lastly, why should I refer to myself as a tickle 'fetishist'? I like many other things besides tickling, so why should I give myself the global label of 'ticklish fetishist'? It doesn't make sense to me. Besides, labels are extremely dangerous. The Stanford prison experiment is extremely valuable on this point.

 

[Imlatino]

I wonder if my love of tickling is just a phase in my life or is it part of my life?