I just had a bad experience

[Lynchy]

I was asked to babysit just now for these two twins. They're both about 8 I think. They got me playing Jenga, and on each block they'd written a task for the player to do. Mostly silly kid stuff like 'impersonate your fav pop star' and all that.

So I pull one out and it says 'tickle someone'. I nearly freaked out. I can't tickle kids... with the feelings I have towards it, it just... triggers bad feelings. Especially abuse stuff, some stuff happened to me when I was younger concerning tickling and it just really got to me.

So I just tickled one of them a little and sat down, and pretended not to be bothered. With the struggles I'm having towards this issue right now, this didn't help.

I don't know why I posted this other than wanting to vent. There's nowhere else I can type this stuff.

I guess I'm okay now, it just really hit me. 🙁

 

[Morning Angel]

Hey Lynchy, you ok?

I don't really know what to say, except that hopefully you won't be faced with too many of those types of situations in the near future. Are you only uncomfortable with the idea of tickling kids yourself, or is it also being in any environment where kids are tickled (possibly harder to avoid)?

At least you know you're always free to vent here.

 

[Lynchy]

Kids being tickled I'm torn on in general. I mean, part of me wants to remember stuff before any shit happened to me, and tickling was a big part of my childhood.

But I mean... it's so hard. Part of me is drawn to kid/teen tickling just to find solice, not in a sexual way, but I feel so guilty and wrong. I'm so against child abuse... I really am.

This whole thing just scares me. I can't cope with it. I guess I need to learn to, but it brings up very difficult feelings...

I need guidence with this stuff.

 

[Morning Angel]

I don't know how much guidance I can give, but for a while I had some pretty mixed feelings about tickling/children and a bunch of things. You can PM me if you like.

 

[steph]

Hi Hon~
How do you feel about counseling, a therapist maybe, to help you exorcise all those old ghosts and get to a healthier place?

XOXO

Kids being tickled I'm torn on in general. I mean, part of me wants to remember stuff before any shit happened to me, and tickling was a big part of my childhood.

But I mean... it's so hard. Part of me is drawn to kid/teen tickling just to find solice, not in a sexual way, but I feel so guilty and wrong. I'm so against child abuse... I really am.

This whole thing just scares me. I can't cope with it. I guess I need to learn to, but it brings up very difficult feelings...

I need guidence with this stuff.

 

[BlackmoonDoll]

Hi Hon~
How do you feel about counseling, a therapist maybe, to help you exorcise all those old ghosts and get to a healthier place?

XOXO

counseling? a therapist? it is just little kid tickling. i'm sure Lynchy has maybe had some bad times with that i don't know. But if we always had to run to counseling sessions and see therapists everytime about our problems that we were facing in our lifes insted of having loving family and friends who were supportive and caring and non judgemental to help us out through the times in sted. The counseling people and therapists would be rich.

I think he needs to just stick with loving and caring supportive family and close friends to help him out (even if this problem does deal with Tickling). In the long run its better off being up front and 100% honest with your own loving peers then to go off and spend $400 plus Dollars or whatever it is to go see a counlser or therapists for how ever many sessions it is in a weeks or months time.

Thats my feelings on the matter though. Of course you can either take it or leave it as you please

 

[steph]

"So I pull one out and it says 'tickle someone'. I nearly freaked out. I can't tickle kids... with the feelings I have towards it, it just... triggers bad feelings. Especially abuse stuff, some stuff happened to me when I was younger concerning tickling and it just really got to me.

So I just tickled one of them a little and sat down, and pretended not to be bothered. With the struggles I'm having towards this issue right now, this didn't help.

I don't know why I posted this other than wanting to vent. There's nowhere else I can type this stuff."

You don't think that sounds like someone in pain and in need of a little help??
Besides, he's in the UK, where they have socialized medicine.

XOXO

 

[dtrell]

right which means he can make an appointment with a therapist for about June of 2006........LOL

 

[BlackmoonDoll]

Yeah maybe he does and maybe he doesn't. But do the counslers and therapists know the human heart and know what he as humans are really thinking?

No. only God knows what we as man are thinking. i'm not saying that the counslers and therapists maybe wouldn't be able to help him i don't know. Since i've never been to one nor do i care to. Its just up to Lynchy and what he decides to do thats all i'm saying

 

[Stevereeno]

Well those who don't know family history are doomed to repeat it. Everybody would benefit from therapy because it is designed to give you awareness of yourself and what it is that makes ya tick and how to deal with it. It is tough to be sane in an insane world. What I have witnessed in other posts and espicially in the chatroom clearly indicate there are other members of this site who are in the same boat as you or who are doing much worse. Just remember, the key components in getting over a problem are recognizing and effort.

 

[tommytikl]

Well Lynchy,

First you did the right thing by NOT freaking out in front of the kids and just giving a small tickle to them.

Second, you have some serious baggage from whatever happened to YOU...get that resolved with counseling!

Third, because of this baggage you are "overly" sensitive to tickling kids because it happened to you and you don't want to inflict the same abuse on the kids...but really, taking a step back, tickling the childs foot for one or two strokes is not abuse and they aren't freaking out and are smiling BEFORE the tickling begins, holding them down for an hour while tickling their foot is and them screaming no BEFORE the tickling begins is abuse!!

I am not saying that your sensitivity is misplaced or wrong(Better to be on the cautious side), just that your perception of the situation is different then most in the same situation.


Your real issue isn't the tickling of the kids, its how you were tickled when YOU were a kid...get some therapy Lynchy!

Take care man!

 

[TickledToDeath]

Lynchy

While I am sure they didn't do this to you on purpose, the fact that you were freaked out by it and it bothered you the way it did to be in that situation is a good thing. You showed to yourself(and us for that matter)that you have morals and standards. You did what you felt "comfortable" with doing and nothing else.
DON'T let the fact that you have a passion for tickling disturb you. The kids wrote it on there for them and you just got the short end of the stick so to speak in this situation and your morals kicked in.
You are NOT a bad person at all and adults tickle their children all the time but YOUR situation was indeed different and you felt right the way you felt but don't let it get to you.

Actually it freaking you out may not be the right term...you associated it with abuse........tickling a child playfully for a few seconds is not abuse. Issues you may have. Demons in the closet you may have but that can be delt with. You did NO wrong my friend.

TTD

 

[Darkknight]

Lynchy,

I don't know your situation, of when you were a kid but it obviously affected you big time. Counseling may be needed if it haunts you enough but you did nothing wrong.
Some of us if not most of us (not the few perverted psychos) don't get any sexual feelings when tickling a child. It's innocent, in general, of course you went through something very tramatic.
I'm sorry you had to go through that, from stories I read, you aren't the only one that was damaged by the tickling abuse.

Kids tickle each other, the kids innocently put that as a choice and for some unlucky reason you got the tickle someone piece. You did fine and I'm sure the kids didn't even notice a thing. I can see if not others that you are a decent soul, why else would you share something as personal as that.
For the guy that responded "nasty", you're an idiot or some punk kid that shouldn't be in this forum, grow up. If you meant it as "wow that was a bad situation to be in" then I retract my statement and agree with you.

Again, if this situation with the babysitting just stays on you and causes you deep unrest, then counseling would be a good idea. If not, just remember, your intentions were not of some demented person.

DK

 

[vegasfootboy]

seperation

actually ive been very lucky that ive been able to seperate the sexual from the playful without even having to try,, i know that some people shy away from tickling kids and family members because they feel uncomfortable with it being so closely tied into the sexual,, at least for some,,when i tickle cousins or nephews or my niece its purely for fun and completely innocent,, when one of my sisters tickles me i jump! then run! lol! thoughts of tickle torture from them when i was younger bring up fear and not arousal lol!,,however,, i do get thoroughly grossed out when my little sister asks me for pedicures! ( yuck! ) my family knows about my foot fetish pretty much everyone in my family has it in one form or another ( my lil sis loves her own feet ),,they dont know about the tickle fetish though,, thats my own private thing and dont feel the need to share with them,,

 

[TklDuo-Ann]

There is nothing inherantly wrong with tickling kids in a non-sexual manner. But, I think you know that. It sounds like the problem is more that it triggered something in you that you weren't ready for. Having also had tickling used against me in abusive situations, I can relate to how it makes you feel. Counselling may or may not work for you. But, it's something to keep in mind if this haunts you as much as it sounds like it does. In the meantime, feel free to PM me if you want to talk. Having been where you're at now, maybe I can help a bit.

Ann

 

[steph]

EXACTLY!
Lynch, I'm worried about you. Will you please stop in and let one of us know you're okay? Please?

XOXO

There is nothing inherantly wrong with tickling kids in a non-sexual manner. But, I think you know that. It sounds like the problem is more that it triggered something in you that you weren't ready for.
Ann

 

[Mitchell]

As Ann pointed out, it's the type of tickling that you put forth toward the kids that is the key here, and the fact that you seperate your tickling of them in a non sexual situation, to that of an adult in a sexual situation.
I think I have posted on here that when I was about 14 and in camp, I was abusively tickled by several guys in my bunk at camp, before I became aware that tickling was a sexual thing for me. One of them held me down and started in on my foot, and the others joined in. After I was hysterical, and got up, I hated it, and swore to myself that I hated to be tickled, and would never do that to any girl I was with. I have of course tickled girls in my life, although not abusively of course, and as everyone knows I love tickling or I wouldnt be on this site for the last two years.
I think the key here as Ann said is to seperate the feelings. When I get married and have children, at some point, Iam sure it will happen where the wife and I will probably tickle them in some circumstance. The key for me there will be to know that the tickling of my kids is in a playful, loving parental way, and far, far different from the type of tickling I will do with my wife, which would either be foreplay to sexual activity or in bondage during sexual activity. Tickling kids is nothing to feel guilty about, as long as it is done in a playful and non sexual manner. It can be used by adults to communicate loving playful feelings to children if not done abusively. I was tickled by relatives many times as a kid, in the normal playful manner of loving adult to child, by grandparents, aunts, etc, and I dont have any emotional scars from it. It is the type of tickling and to seperate the sexual from the non sexual that is key in this situation.

Mitch

 

[vegasfootboy]

funny you should post that experiance,, i had a very simillar one when i was 12 and in boyscouts,, i was held down by 11 other boys and tickled from my soles to my arm pits! i was so scared i thought id die! i was laughing at first and screaming in terror! after about 30 seconds! a scout master was standing close by and did nothing,, i guess he thought since i was laughing i was having a great time,, i wasnt : (,, i had to endure the worst tickling experiance of my life for what must have been at least 10 min! till they got bored of my screams,, not erotic not sexual absolutely terrified!

 

[Lynchy]

Thanks for the comments, especially to Steph who has been very understanding.

I have a hunch that my original post was edited. I mentioned abuse and I think that may have upset the mods...

I am getting help, but not as much as I'd like. I'm waiting to get an appointment with a local place, but it may take a while and it'd take me a looooong time to mention any abuse or tickle fetish stuff to them.

I'm okay tonight, a lot better than I was. I'm still quite bothered by it all, but we'll see. But yes... I do have these morals, I don't think I could cross that line and see kids in that way. If I ever did, I'd rather kill myself. I care about kids a lot and I'm 110% anti child abuse.

But it bugs me. I still want to go to sites and I want to see it, but I just can't bring myself to looking on an ethical basis.

I'm very scared of myself.

But yeah, I am getting help. I have been since I was about 16. It's okay. The TMF has helped me a lot, just because I could indulge in the whole tickling thing and talk to like minded people. It's pretty cool. 🙂

But yeah, thanks guys. I'm going to talk this through with the councellor at college and see what I can get out of that.

Thanks again, Steph.

 

[steph]

Whew!

Oh it's no prob honey~I'm sooooooooooooo, so glad you wrote in. My own childhood was abusive but never as far as tickling went, so for me it can be just playful and silly, even when kids are involved, but I definitely know how ANY type of abuse as a child kind of helps ruin us forever, or at least cripple us a little bit, until we can come to terms, realize it was NOT our fault, etc. Even thousands of miles away, I could feel you were very much troubled by this episode.

I know it's difficult and maybe embarassing but PLEASE do not hold back with your therapist~the right one can literally change your life for the better. You can PM me or any of the wonderful others here who spoke up. These people (the counselors) are specially trained professionals and I promise, have heard everything~NOTHING you say will disturb and/or shock them. They went into this field because they truly care about helping people resolve their problems. Their job is not to judge you but to help you come to terms. It's to your advantage to be as open with them as you can, so they can best design a healing plan specific to your needs.

I think you'll find with all the confessions these people hear about~those who perform rape, murder, self mutilation, etc., that a competent therapist will find a tickling fondness fairly mild. Please do keep us posted as you feel comfortable and know that you are loved and cared about here.


XOXO

 

[Maria_Rose]

I know how you feel Lynchy, I don't know what I'd have done if I had pulled out that Jenga block. I already encountered a similar problem playing the board game Taboo with my family. The word was "tickle" and I had to listen to a person who had formerly abused me that way, describing the word explicitly trying to get me to guess it (as are the game rules). I knew from the start that it was "tickle" but I was so afraid that I couldn't verbally guess the word. I just wanted him to stop describing it, I wanted everything to stop. So I waited until nobody was around, fished that card out of the deck and pocketed it. Mild theft ensuring I would never have to come across that card again while playing that game. I took the card with the word tickle on it, and I glued it to a piece of paper, made an artistic collage with other images I created myself, tried to turn it into a triumph. That helped me, but I am NEVER playing that Jenga game with anyone in my family, no way no how, don't even wanna be in the room. All the same, I'm well aware that most people would not take the action as being abusive, and obviously in this case it was not. It was innocent enough to be included in a mass produced family game, I think you have absolutely nothing to feel guilty about, Lynchy. You know firsthand the difference between abusive and playful tickling, and you might well be even more gentle and sensitive because of your own experiences. It's obvious you didn't have abusive intentions or you wouldn't have become anxious at all. I know the feeling though, wish I could help.

 

[ticklemad]

Hi Lynchy
I'm glad that coming here gave you an outlet to express your concerns and how you feel . I have posted here before how tickling was used abusively towards me from a very early age as a means to be able to abuse me, so I may have some understanding of where you are coming from with this. I am also local to you, down the road in South Yorkshire and am coming to the end of going through the counselling process in respect of this and a part qualified counsellor myself. If I can help at all, or you just ever need to chat please feel free to pm me anytime.

 

[steph]

MariaRose~YOU, darling girl are AMAZING! What a beautiful soul you are

Ticklemad~thank you. Been PM'ing w/Lynch a little and he's SUPER cool. I know he's way grateful to all who've been there and offered to help.

XOXO

 

[Myriads]

Lynchy said: I have a hunch that my original post was edited. I mentioned abuse and I think that may have upset the mods...


No edits to the original post were made. It stands exactly as you made it.

I give my best hopes to you, in handling the difficult emotional place you find yourself in.

Myriads

 

[Dr. Bill Kobb]

I had several mega-traumatizing tickle-torture experiences(from other kids) as a child, too(as several mentions have been made of this, I thought I'd chime in). Oddly enough, in MY case, I seem to have developed a later, adult fetish out of it. Weird world, yes?