i need advice

[unclebill]

thanks unclebill. i do believe i will cut back on my posting. and stick to posting on the stories that i love and that compel me to post. i'll heed your advice. and yes i try to be nice.

isabeau

Thats my girl. But save some time for the politics & religion section. Us Democrats have to stick together. I really hope things work out for the best with you two. Perhaps there could be some middle ground. Keep the lines of communication going, and hopefully he will come around.

 

[the_Baron]

it is a sick community, and he is right. and U spend far too much time online.

now take some xanax and a nap, and make love to your husband.

 

[kurchatovium]

i have been arguing with my husband. there is no way in hell he will ever let me go to a gathering or a nest. he calls this a cult and says i am getting sucked in. how on earth do i change his mind? he keeps putting the tv on the catholic channel whenever i mention this to him. i need help. sometimes he drives me crazy. help please. he says never trust anyone online. i hate to air this to the forum, but i know you all will understand.
sometimes he is so frustrating, and at other times so great. what can i do? i want to go to nest, to a gathering, meet some of you great people. but i cant do this behind his back. why are two people married that dont share the same interest in this important thing? we have been married forever.
he makes me so mad sometimes i want to scream. he is trying to make me feel guilty about my desires. that it is wrong. that i am doomed to hell.

isabeau

There is no easy answer but let me see if I can help:

a) I, long ago, came to the conclusion that God does not care if you are gay or like tickling, or like BDSM or whatever other quirks you have provided you are not hurting anyone else especially the innocent like children and animals. That might be an oversimplification but I think its true. Put simply God does not micromanage. Perhaps this argument might persuade your husband we are not so bad. At the very least it should alleviate any guilt you might have.

b) Perhaps you can convince him to log into the forum or come into the chatroom and talk to some of us. Its easy to villify people you do not know. Its much harder to lump us all into categories when you actually get to know us. This is true I think with most stereotypes.

c) To my knowledge the bible mentions nothing about tickling being a sin. I heard a Rabbi once tell me that he feels the first thing God asks you when you see him is "How have you enjoyed the life I have given you?" . Sins are guide posts for us. It is human nature to indulge ourselves in a few sins now and then. Whether its an adult movie, a loterry ticket, an ice cream binge, a fine brandy, etc. in small doses they are fine. It is when they become excessive is when they are dangerous. This might also help convince your husband that pleasure in and of itself is not bad.

Hope this helps. Peace and wuv. 😀

 

[steph]

Hi sweetpea~
As you know we are in same boat. I don't overthink my fetish life too much. He has his grass, his porn collection (ugh), I have this, no biggie...
XOXO

 

[isabeau]

it is a sick community, and he is right. and U spend far too much time online.

now take some xanax and a nap, and make love to your husband.

lol thanks and this is my last post on this subject. this morning we had a tickle fight and i lost ( or won however you like to think of it ) so he is coming around. and thanks to all for your great advice. love ya xoxo

isabeau

 

[amk714]

Congratulations, Isabeau! It sounds like you and he have made up. I'm glad things are improving. Take care now.

 

[kis123]

lol thanks and this is my last post on this subject. this morning we had a tickle fight and i lost ( or won however you like to think of it ) so he is coming around. and thanks to all for your great advice. love ya xoxo

isabeau

There is much more to go through, but in the meantime, take these moments and enjoy them. Remember them when you think you're at the end of your rope and want to give up.

There are some spouses that won't give an inch, at least you have one who'll give you occasions to enjoy.

Be well, and see you on the boards

 

[Oddjob0226]

P.S. Oddjob, it's a good thing you're not a marriage counselor. 😀

What do you mean? That's how I was able to buy my yatch!!

A tickle fight that ended well might be your manthing throwing you a bone, or it might be a very nice first step for you both. Either way, as Kis says, appreciate those special times for what they are - but if they might move to something else, let them build that way slowly and naturally; remember that he's moving at a slower pace than you in something he's unfamilair with.

I'll bet during the fight he didn't have the Catholic channel on, did he?

 

[leafstk]

Even if you feel you shouldn't post as much, know that we're always here for you when you need us, Isabeau I hope things continue to improve 🙂

 

[isabeau]

ok i admit when i started this thread the other night i was mad and a tad high. i drink so sue me. if you had had the things happen to you that have happened to me, you might drink also. maybe not. but i'm human enough to admit i am an alcoholic of sorts. its my escape my release my way to sleep. i am not neglecting my husband. he knows i come online and most of the time he is ok with it. its just that he doesnt understand this desire of mine. but otherwise our marriage is secure. my problem is i'm too honest and trusting for my own good. so i apologize for baring my soul in this way. but if its ok with most here, i will continue to post. i love the forum, and at the present time, its my outlet. my way of dreaming. when i find something i like, i get carried away. i will slow down in time. its just that i used to think i was the only one with this fantasy. imagine my surprise to find many think as i do. but i will pay attention to hubby i always do.......

isabeau

 

[Wildtime]

I, for one, am glad you'll continue to post...

I'm sorry if my advice was misinterpreted as being online too long, that wasn't my intent. I was more concerned with how well your life was balanced in both time and commitment. I apologize if it caused you any discomfort, I was just trying to be helpful.

However, I am relieved that you've decided to be as prolific as ever. Your posts are always positive, and it is greatly appreciated. You'd definitely be missed.

I also understand your attraction to the TMF. This forum transcends its 'tickling' aspect through the general discussion board, diverse membership, and 'flame free' philosophy. This forum is an actual community, and you're a valued citizen, so when you ask for help, we'll all be willing to help. Just don't expect us to be right all the time.

 

[leafstk]

I think many of us find this place an outlet for our fantasies, as you do, Isabeau 🙂 I don't think anyone here can question your love or loyalty to your husband. Yes, he doesn't understand it... and since finding this place it may have enflamed your passion for it more, but I don't think anyone can or should say you shouldn't post here, even if its just an outlet. You're certainly not alone in how you feel, Isabeau. If anything, the way you have bared your soul here warrants more respect. 🙂

 

[isabeau]

I'm sorry if my advice was misinterpreted as being online too long, that wasn't my intent. I was more concerned with how well your life was balanced in both time and commitment. I apologize if it caused you any discomfort, I was just trying to be helpful.

However, I am relieved that you've decided to be as prolific as ever. Your posts are always positive, and it is greatly appreciated. You'd definitely be missed.

I also understand your attraction to the TMF. This forum transcends its 'tickling' aspect through the general discussion board, diverse membership, and 'flame free' philosophy. This forum is an actual community, and you're a valued citizen, so when you ask for help, we'll all be willing to help. Just don't expect us to be right all the time.

hon i wasnt lashing out at you just in general . your advice actually was great. so dont worry. and thanks for that.

isabeau

the problem is when i started this thread i was mad and a tad high. also when i posted my last post i had been drinking. so i apologize again. i try not to hurt anyone's feelings. lesson being i shouldnt post after i've had a few drinks.

 

[kcantankerous]

He could be scared that you'll find someone to share this alien concept with. No offense ish, but can you really blame him. I'm not saying I agree with him at all, but seriously have you looked at it from his point of view. God forbid he actually sees some of the stuff some posted in this forum. If my girl were to tell me one day she wanted to go to a gathering of bondage lovers or something I'd probably feel the same way. Maybe he is also talking religion but I think thats a cloak over his real issue.

 

[GirlWhoLikes2Laugh]

Isabeau, I want to say that I am sorry that you're going through this and it's a shame that your husband is close minded about tickling. It's ridiculous how he feels about it though, it's not a sin to tickle unless it's done inappropriately (like Michael Jackson style for example to a child). It makes people laugh so it should be a good thing. Also, tickling has nothing at all to do with religion.

Maybe you should try to consider going to counseling. Of course, it's your choice but I am trying to help since you asked for advice. It's a good sign that the two of you had a tickle fight even though you lost. It seems like things are getting better. This forum is certainly not a cult for God's sake and that's a silly comment. I think your husband has some real issues that he needs to work on.

By the way Odd, t.v is not a cult at all. It can be addictive but it's not a cult. I really do hope you get this situation resolved with your husband.

 

[isabeau]

ticklejen thanks hon for the advice. dang i kind of hoped this thread would have gotten lost lol. anyway to all who responded thanks loads. and blondie thanks gal. i meant to pm you but have been busy sort of. i wanted to say hi and thank you for your response. happy thanksgiving everyone. xoxo

isabeau

 

[kis123]

ok i admit when i started this thread the other night i was mad and a tad high. i drink so sue me. if you had had the things happen to you that have happened to me, you might drink also. maybe not. but i'm human enough to admit i am an alcoholic of sorts. its my escape my release my way to sleep. i am not neglecting my husband. he knows i come online and most of the time he is ok with it. its just that he doesnt understand this desire of mine. but otherwise our marriage is secure. my problem is i'm too honest and trusting for my own good. so i apologize for baring my soul in this way. but if its ok with most here, i will continue to post. i love the forum, and at the present time, its my outlet. my way of dreaming. when i find something i like, i get carried away. i will slow down in time. its just that i used to think i was the only one with this fantasy. imagine my surprise to find many think as i do. but i will pay attention to hubby i always do.......

isabeau

Hey soul sista':

You've practically described me to an absolute "T." I'm practically the exact same way. I don't have a husband to compromise for, but I do have children, friends, and family who simply wouldn't understand. At least your husband knows about us here and is attempting to sort out his feelings about the new direction your life is taking.

I'm sure you understand at this point that he teeters the very thin line between protecting his wife and possibly trying to keep control in his marriage. He doesn't want to lose you so this is his response to it. You guys love each other and will work through this. There are a lot of spouses around here that haven't even shared their tickling passions with the person they've shared everything else with.

So what if you were a little tipsy when you started this thread? Look what you've started lady!! You have a lot of people who generally care about you-sounds like a good thing from here!

 

[kis123]

I'll bet during the fight he didn't have the Catholic channel on, did he?

As always in typical Oddjob fashion!

But I have to admit, you typed what I was thinking! 😉

 

[isabeau]

Hey soul sista':

You've practically described me to an absolute "T." I'm practically the exact same way. I don't have a husband to compromise for, but I do have children, friends, and family who simply wouldn't understand. At least your husband knows about us here and is attempting to sort out his feelings about the new direction your life is taking.

I'm sure you understand at this point that he teeters the very thin line between protecting his wife and possibly trying to keep control in his marriage. He doesn't want to lose you so this is his response to it. You guys love each other and will work through this. There are a lot of spouses around here that haven't even shared their tickling passions with the person they've shared everything else with.

So what if you were a little tipsy when you started this thread? Look what you've started lady!! You have a lot of people who generally care about you-sounds like a good thing from here!

aww back at ya kis. thanks sista for the support and have a great thanksgiving xoxo

isabeau

 

[Ray<3tiklishft]

Melanie,

Threads like this one, to me, are actually theraputic for not only those who give advice (since they put a lot of thought into it) but for those who may feel the way you do and are not open enough to ask for any thoughts on the matter.

Kis is right. See how mant people love you? That includes ME!

 

[isabeau]

Melanie,

Threads like this one, to me, are actually theraputic for not only those who give advice (since they put a lot of thought into it) but for those who may feel the way you do and are not open enough to ask for any thoughts on the matter.

Kis is right. See how mant people love you? That includes ME!

hmm i suppose you are right, but sometimes i'm a tad too open for my own good.

sniffs sniffs aww yippee Ray wuvs me hehe thanks xoxo

isabeau

 

[GirlWhoLikes2Laugh]

Isabeau, I am glad you liked the advice I gave and thank you for that but I really must ask you this. How can your husband go from hating tickling to all of a sudden having a tickle fight with you? I mean did you start it or did he? Just wondering because it sounds like a big difference than before.

Of course, if you don't want to respond to this I will respect that but I couldn't help but ask. By the way, I hope you and everyone on this forum have a Happy Thanksgiving.

 

[Oddjob0226]

By the way Odd, t.v is not a cult at all. It can be addictive but it's not a cult. I really do hope you get this situation resolved with your husband.

Never been to a Trek convention, eh?

My husband????? 😕