I need to talk to a lesbian....

[sophiamarie]

Okay, now that I have your attention (boys, go away....unless, possibly, you're gay.) I need to ask all bisexuals and lesbians out there...how did you know? I'm asking this because I have a major major major crush on a girl. Okay, a celebrity, so I'm aware this may not count. Nevertheless, if I daydream about a particular female that I see in many movies, and I actually nearly cried myself to sleep last night wanting her (don't judge), then is it possible that I am bisexual?
I also don't watch guy porn, meaning porn featuring guys....I like to watch the girls get tickled. (Though I am a lee, so that could explain) I've never kissed a girl...wait, no, take that back. I kissed my best friend once, but it wasn't for real, we just do that sometimes.
Also, I really like boobs. Like...really. Penises...eh.
I am asking on this site, since everyone is very open here. Please take this thread seriously. I trust you guys...you girls, rather. Just want another opinion, that's all.
Thanks!

 

[PurpleStyle]

"we just do that sometimes" ~I lol'd at that. Sorry. I know how you feel; I lick my best friend's vagina sometimes.

But seriously; I knew for the same reason you don't want to entirely admit - I like girls. I like boys too. When you step back and realize that if just you embrace what you like; it's easier to satisfy whatever particular "needs" you have. It doesn't change who you are as a person in a negative way, either. 🙂

 

[Redmage]

Well, bisexual male here, so hopefully that counts.

We're constrained somewhat by language. We have just three categories with which to define our sexuality:

Homosexual: Interested only in people of the same gender.
Heterosexual: Interested only in people of the opposite gender.
Bisexual: Interested in both genders equally.

Of course real human sexuality isn't that rigid. The Kinsey scale is more useful, but still not perfect. The heart wants what the heart wants, as the saying goes. Labeling it only imposes expectations about the next person you'll be attracted to.

I'm reminded of a gay man who once said to a homophobic guy who was stressing out, "The fact that I'm sexually attracted to men doesn't mean that I'm sexually attracted to YOU, buddy!"

In my own personal life, I lost my virginity to a woman who defined herself as a lesbian. We had sex several times over the course of many years, and as far as I know I was the only man she had sex with after she came out. It didn't make the sex any less fun though, or the attraction any less real.

If you're attracted to even one woman, and you're also attracted to men, and if you really, really need a label to put on that, then the label I would choose is "bisexual." However if you still self-identify as straight or even as gay then I'd say that's up to you. My only advice would be to avoid letting whatever label you pick define for you whom you're "supposed" to find attractive.

 

[Carsomyr]

Well, straight male here, so you can completely disregard this post if you want, but I just want to add my take on this. 😉

You ask the lesbians "how they knew", but to put it in another perspective, how did you "know" that you like tickling? 🙂 Sure, one's sexuality can be pretty confusing sometimes, but that's why you need to explore it. Personally, I know I like tickling, but I'm not 100% sure I like certain other kinks that I'm curious about, simply because I haven't had the chance to "try them out" yet. If you like boobs, and for that matter certain girls, then I say just go with it. Maybe you're bisexual, maybe even more than that, but you won't find out if you don't keep an open mind and have an honest internal dialogue with yourself.

In the end, only you can know if you're lesbian or bisexual, and I'm pretty sure it will become clear to you eventually. Just don't get stressed about finding a label for yourself; all in good time... 😀

 

[TangerineTicklee]

Lesbian here.

Simple for me.
I know I'm gay because I HATE the male penis. Were I to see it, I instantly get sick to my stomach. But if I see a vagina, I am turned ON. Especially if that area is tickled or stimulated through tickling elsewhere on their body. I also love other feminine aspects such as brightly colored nails, soft, dainty fingers, long hair (the feminine kind, not the long male kind), and feminine voices. 🙂

I also like to wear guys cargos and the guys double sleeved tops - black short over dark gray long. Honestly, I'm mentally androgynous, but physically I'm a female...... Who likes other females.

That's how I know. 🙂

 

[TonyTheTongue]

sexuality isn't black and white in such a response to male or female. Your response to that woman and boobs may really be a childhood issue between you and your mother... it doesn't necessarily make you lesbian or bisexual or heterosexual.

 

[TangerineTicklee]

sexuality isn't black and white in such a response to male or female. Your response to that woman and boobs may really be a childhood issue between you and your mother... it doesn't necessarily make you lesbian or bisexual or heterosexual.

Are you referring to me? Please correct me if I'm wrong.

 

[sasaxrah]

sexuality isn't black and white in such a response to male or female. Your response to that woman and boobs may really be a childhood issue between you and your mother... it doesn't necessarily make you lesbian or bisexual or heterosexual.

How Freudian.

Only you can know how you really feel. If you like something sexually, and attracted to that gender, great. But as Redmage said, sexuality is more broad than those 3 labels, and this is ESPECIALLY true for women. Relax, find an LGBT group in your area if you feel ready, and good luck.

 

[TangerineTicklee]

Feeemales

How Freudian.

Only you can know how you really feel. If you like something sexually, and attracted to that gender, great. But as Redmage said, sexuality is more broad than those 3 labels, and this is ESPECIALLY true for women. Relax, find an LGBT group in your area if you feel ready, and good luck.

Concurred.

Once again - I'm gay. 🙂 No males here! I appreciate the kindness of the guys here - and some of them I consider great Internet aquaintances - but I would never have a relationship with a male.

Females. Only. 😎

 

[Libertine]

You sound young, Sophiamarie, so experiment with both genders, until you find yourself comfortable with whichever orientation you please, then enjoy being whatever that is.

But from what I've learned of women, lesbianism has always seemed a bit of a minefield. It must be very difficult to be in a relationship in which BOTH partners remember every single detail (exact dialogue and situation) of every quarrel they've ever had with one another.

Including what they were wearing at the time.

 

[Tiger.Lily]

The heart wants what the heart wants, as the saying goes. Labeling it only imposes expectations about the next person you'll be attracted to.

....

My only advice would be to avoid letting whatever label you pick define for you whom you're "supposed" to find attractive.

I'm fairly certain you won't find any better advice in this thread than the quoted.

As far as how I "knew" I was bisexual...I suppose I just knew. Diddling myself to pictures of Olivia Wilde and Mosh definitely helps define it a bit better, though.

 

[Master Baiter]

It must be very difficult to be in a relationship in which BOTH partners remember every single detail (exact dialogue and situation) of every quarrel they've ever had with one another.

Including what they were wearing at the time.

^^^ Quote of the year ^^^
Hahahahah! I can't stop laughing!
Sorry, i know this doesn't really contribute anything to the discussion, but that's just pure genius.

 

[Bohemianne]

Nut & Bolt

^ It's quite hard to mess with life's screaming reality.

Goodluck.

 

[sasaxrah]

But from what I've learned of women, lesbianism has always seemed a bit of a minefield. It must be very difficult to be in a relationship in which BOTH partners remember every single detail (exact dialogue and situation) of every quarrel they've ever had with one another.

Including what they were wearing at the time.

I'm thinking you were just trying to be funny here... I think relationships can be minefields regardless of gender... Neither is easier or more trouble-free. Just depends on the actual people involved.

 

[TangerineTicklee]

Not sure if you get it, so I'm just making sure, for the sake of doing so.

You sound young, Sophiamarie, so experiment with both genders, until you find yourself comfortable with whichever orientation you please, then enjoy being whatever that is.

But from what I've learned of women, lesbianism has always seemed a bit of a minefield. It must be very difficult to be in a relationship in which BOTH partners remember every single detail (exact dialogue and situation) of every quarrel they've ever had with one another.

Including what they were wearing at the time.

Any relationship can be a minefield. I'm sure there must be some guys out there who have very sharp memories as well. I, as a female however, would probably not remember anything as pointless as what my partner was wearing during a huge argument. Total waste of time to actually know such a thing. Plus, if you really love someone, you will stick with them despite arguments. If not, then you don't really love them, therefore it's a relationship not worth hanging on to.

Again, I'm a lesbian and proud. Heterosexuality is a huge turn off for me. I get very mad when others - not you, I'm talking about other people that I've known - suggest that I get some "penis" in my life because I'm a "female" and I "need it". Awful suggestion to make to a lesbian who's passionate about being gay!

^ It's quite hard to mess with life's screaming reality.

Goodluck.

That's not the only reality out there...... Sometimes it's bolts on bolts and sometimes it's nuts on nuts.

In my case, it's nuts on nuts. That will never change, either. My most stubborn aspect is my sexuality, and I am never to be budged.

 

[Bohemianne]

Of course. That's why I said "Goodluck."

Anyone holds his/her life in one's hand and is accountable for it.

 

[TangerineTicklee]

Of course. That's why I said "Goodluck."

Anyone holds his/her life in one's hand and is accountable for it.

That didn't make any sense to me. What are you saying?

I think - correct me if I'm wrong, please - that you are edging towards the idea that homosexuality is ... wrong? Lethal? Damnable?

Again, I could be wrong, but that's what I gathered from your post, so if I'm not getting it, just tell me what you mean and we should be set...

 

[Bohemianne]

I'll make it short. Good luck. I am not implying anything, so don't get me wrong.

 

[TangerineTicklee]

I'll make it short. Good luck. I am not implying anything, so don't get me wrong.

Saying "good luck" to someone who's gay doesn't make any sense. If you're not implying anything, what would be your reasoning for saying "good luck" to homosexual people?

 

[Aimee]

Okay honestly... this is not something that we here at the TMF can tell you.
Fuck if you don't know why you have a crush on a female celebrity... how the hell are we supposed to know?

You need to find out for yourself in your own ways.
Experiment, masturbate to pictures of girls, fuck I don't know... just do what feels right to you.

 

[Artoo]

How do I know? I don't. I just go with how I feel.

Why bother labelling yourself?

 

[SlaverTickler]

Okay, now that I have your attention (boys, go away....unless, possibly, you're gay.) I need to ask all bisexuals and lesbians out there...how did you know? I'm asking this because I have a major major major crush on a girl. Okay, a celebrity, so I'm aware this may not count. Nevertheless, if I daydream about a particular female that I see in many movies, and I actually nearly cried myself to sleep last night wanting her (don't judge), then is it possible that I am bisexual?
I also don't watch guy porn, meaning porn featuring guys....I like to watch the girls get tickled. (Though I am a lee, so that could explain) I've never kissed a girl...wait, no, take that back. I kissed my best friend once, but it wasn't for real, we just do that sometimes.
Also, I really like boobs. Like...really. Penises...eh.

No I am not gay, no I am not bi, and I am not going away. It sounds like you may be curious about it. If that is the case then you should explore it, but find a way to do it where you won't hurt somebody in the proses. Kissing your friend might not have done anything for you because she was a friend, so it may have felt like kissing your sister. Have you considered going to a sex counselor about this, or maybe experimenting with the physical side of it. I mean if you don't like the idea of performing oral sex on a woman then chances are you just find women physically appealing and enjoy the feel of them, while still being more sexually interested in men when it comes to the actual act. I've known a few women who liked touchy feely with other women, but when it came to actually "licking pussy" they weren't that interested.

By the way I resent the fact that you were so dismissive towards us heterosexual males. It was a show of immaturity and ignorance on your part to assume we couldn't have anything of value to contribute.

 

[SlaverTickler]

sexuality isn't black and white in such a response to male or female. Your response to that woman and boobs may really be a childhood issue between you and your mother... it doesn't necessarily make you lesbian or bisexual or heterosexual.

Sexuality is pretty black and white for me. I am a man, and I like women, and I have no sexual atraction towards men. Simple.

 

[AmandaBear]

Okay, now that I have your attention (boys, go away....unless, possibly, you're gay.) I need to ask all bisexuals and lesbians out there...how did you know? I'm asking this because I have a major major major crush on a girl. Okay, a celebrity, so I'm aware this may not count. Nevertheless, if I daydream about a particular female that I see in many movies, and I actually nearly cried myself to sleep last night wanting her (don't judge), then is it possible that I am bisexual?
I also don't watch guy porn, meaning porn featuring guys....I like to watch the girls get tickled. (Though I am a lee, so that could explain) I've never kissed a girl...wait, no, take that back. I kissed my best friend once, but it wasn't for real, we just do that sometimes.
Also, I really like boobs. Like...really. Penises...eh.
I am asking on this site, since everyone is very open here. Please take this thread seriously. I trust you guys...you girls, rather. Just want another opinion, that's all.
Thanks!

Friendly neighborhood lesbian here. And wow, I can totally empathize with you. I was going through the EXACT same feelings and struggles with my sexuality last year. 🙂 The main reason I knew I was gay was because of my desires. If you desire to kiss, have sex with, or tickle/be tickled by a woman, then yes you could possibly be lez. If you can equally envision yourself doing these things with a dude, then bisexuality seems to be your best bet. But really, when you're in the questioning stage, labels can be rather bothersome. Don't just slap on a label to yourself until you're really sure. 😀 It took me about 3 months to label myself when I had my first...err...gay desires. Sexuality can be very confusing sometimes. There have even been cases of some women having sexual desires about women, while never wanting to pursue a long-term relationship with one. And that's perfectly fine. 🙂 But I do think I would take sasaxrah's advice and join a local LGBT group. I once took my friend who was questioning her sexuality to the group and she was welcomed with open arms.

So yeah...my main advice I can give you is that only you can be the judge of what sexual orientation you best fit into. But be patient. It could take a few months for you to fully decide what you are. Until then, just ride it out.

 

[Dussicar]

^ It's quite hard to mess with life's screaming reality.

Goodluck.

What the mother-FUCK???