I would like to apologize to the women here

[tickleteasing]

I posted a question that I saw was poorly phrased, and with the backstory it looked really bad for me. I want to apologize
for that I meant no offense. I sought opinions on a situation and hadn't wanted to post about it. Here is teh situation
I am good friends with a lot of women who have posed for playboy, I am also good friends with a woman who was a former
ms Illinois. Apparently my friend who was Ms Illinois made some comment about my friends who had posed for playboy.
She was saying things like "At least I do not take off my clothes" and other comments as well. She says a lot of strange
things like she thinks masturbation causes weight gain in women and depression in men, yes these words came out of her
mouth. Well after discussing her comments with one of my friends who was a playboy centerfold the playboy centerfold
argued that the pageants are worse because in a pageant your comparing one woman to another woman. Now im' realizing
through comments in a pulled thread that both angles are bad in the eyes of many women here, and my friends engage
in activities that several here find repugnant. I meant no offense.

 

[Skipadeedoodah]

I think it's nice of you to be concerned, but I saw nothing wrong with your question. It's not like you said, "None of you are worth anything except allowing us to stare at you via Playboy or a beauty pageant. Now CHOOSE!"

I think the responses that you got were mostly people answering that they wouldn't prefer either one, but that's not say they were offended by the question 🙂 Of course, I can't speak for all the women here, but in my opinion, you have nothing to be sorry for 🙂 No worries 🙂

 

[Excess]

I agree that you have nothing to be sorry for. Any woman that got offended needs to grow a sense of humor.

 

[Marquis De Sade]

What Excess said.

And depression? Really? What does she think sex causes?

Oh yeah...babies.

 

[Skipadeedoodah]

What Excess said.

And depression? Really? What does she think sex causes?

Oh yeah...babies.

Which in turn...cause depression.




(Okay so they don't -- I just feel a certain type of way about babies lately...)

 

[Marquis De Sade]

Which in turn...cause depression.




(Okay so they don't -- I just feel a certain type of way about babies lately...)

LOL. I feel that way all the time. They...kinda scare me.

 

[Mz Chaos]

No problems from me either.

I wasn't offended and now that you have explained why you chose those particular occupations, it's perfectly logical. Maybe you should have put that story in the thread. I bet the responses would have been more what you were thinking of.

Grins...

 

[tickleteasing]

I was hesitant to put the story in the thread because I thought her comments were too silly to even be mentioned. There is no question those statements ignite laughter. I just did not know quite how to approach a comment about masturbation like that without sounding as silly as the comment she made. Unfortunately. I wounded up using just a bad choice of words. It just seemed to be something that was not worthy of bring brought up in an intellectual conversation.

 

[RavenMoon]

I found nothing offensive in your question, sweetness. No worries... If someone else got upset with it, that is their problem and not yours. Don't let other peoples over sensitivity get you down. You can not please everyone!

Best wishes to you and yours!

 

[steph]

No need to apologize. I doubt anyone here was anything more than mildly annoyed but had you provided the back story and THEN asked the question, you'd have probably gotten kinder responses. Even those of us who occasionally model on the side want to be recognized for our MUCH more important accomplishments, see?
But seriously, don't go losing sleep. It wasn't that big of a deal.
XOXO

 

[tickleteasing]

No need to apologize. I doubt anyone here was anything more than mildly annoyed but had you provided the back story and THEN asked the question, you'd have probably gotten kinder responses. Even those of us who occasionally model on the side want to be recognized for our MUCH more important accomplishments, see?
But seriously, don't go losing sleep. It wasn't that big of a deal.
XOXO

I know that and I guess thats what I was wanting to do in the first place. See when you know someone who is a model you know them on a more personal friendship level. I really consider the models I know true friends, but when someone says something like that to you I guess you really want to say something back to them in defense. What my pageant winner friend said to me kind of upset me and it came out in a poorly worded post.

 

[TklDuo-Ann]

As others have said, I wouldn't worry about it. It's not a big deal. Frankly, I read it as yet one more either/or scenario that we were asked to choose from. So, it didn't really stand out from the rest.

Now that you've explained the situation, my only comment is that I suspect most of us find ways to put our own positions above that of others in one way or another. Some of us find the need to put down the other's position in order to make our own look more lofty. The fact that it was done at all wasn't any more surprise than the ignorance of the comments she made.

Now, if she were right in her assumptions, I wonder how many of us gals would be willing to stop as a weight loss routine. I suspect you wouldn't see any of us with bikini ready bodies any time soon! lol 😀

 

[xSamanthax]

Definitely no offense...

But to address what I think is the question - I think beauty pageants are more exploitative (is that a word??) than posing for playboy or even doing porn.

 

[tickleteasing]

This is the problem I have with beauty pageants and I guess this has to do with the concept of rating a woman's actions on a scale of one to ten. I mean if a woman is asked a question and she is asked to give her opinion I do not feel she should be rated on a scale. In other words it seems the beauty pageants encourage women to give "The best answer" in other words you want to win some tiara on your head it seems instead of giving what you honestly feel. I feel its better for a woman to give her opinion and not be rated on some scale.

 

[RavenMoon]

This is the problem I have with beauty pageants and I guess this has to do with the concept of rating a woman's actions on a scale of one to ten. I mean if a woman is asked a question and she is asked to give her opinion I do not feel she should be rated on a scale. In other words it seems the beauty pageants encourage women to give "The best answer" in other words you want to win some tiara on your head it seems instead of giving what you honestly feel. I feel its better for a woman to give her opinion and not be rated on some scale.

Very good point.

But to play devils advocate, that is life. Granted, the pageants tend to exploit that point moreso, but the reality is that people are constantly judging others. And to the person who says "NOT ME!", I say think again! We all do it to some degree or other and not always in the most obvious ways. It is a mechanism that is inherent to our survival actually.

Pageants are funny to me to watch. I would love to see one of them get up there and say what is really on their mind when they are asked a question. Like that poor little Miss Teen where-ever-she-was-from with the map question. I would have definitely been voted off if I was her and answered what I felt...

 

[tickleteasing]

Very good point.

But to play devils advocate, that is life. Granted, the pageants tend to exploit that point moreso, but the reality is that people are constantly judging others. And to the person who says "NOT ME!", I say think again! We all do it to some degree or other and not always in the most obvious ways. It is a mechanism that is inherent to our survival actually.

Pageants are funny to me to watch. I would love to see one of them get up there and say what is really on their mind when they are asked a question. Like that poor little Miss Teen where-ever-she-was-from with the map question. I would have definitely been voted off if I was her and answered what I felt...

Also, to be fair you have to assume one of two things with that women, either she did not know what she was doing when she was answering the question, or she was so nervous thats how she responded. But either way it seems degrading.

 

[steph]

Well, no offense to your friends but to most of us, that stuff hardly registers anyway. It's just the luck genetics mostly. And plastic surgery too in many cases.
XOXO

 

[ticklebunny 2]

I think it is sweet and nice that you want to apologize but to be honest tickleteasing. I don't really think you said anything really wrong and not anything really rude or anything to have to say sorry or apologize for to be honest with you. You were just sharing your feelings on the topic and just saying what your friend said, not your fault. You didn't say the degrading hurtful thing your friend said to about that friend of yours that is a playmate model-whether that had been intentional or not unintentional that remains yet to be seen. However your friend that said that if meant in a hurtful way-whether she meant to or not, then that was your friend's fault and her responsibility to take ownership on the mistake she made by saying that hurtful comment.

You have no reason to feel bad or to apologize friend. Also your friend who is a playboy model she has nothing to feel bad or negative about, yes while it may have greatly hurt what was said if indeed she knew what your other friend said about her-especially if it happens that the other friend you are talking about is a woman who was in a beauty pageant-I think it best that your friend and you don't let this get you down and try your hardest not to take this to heart. Either your friend who was in a beauty pageant spoke without thinking did not mean the hurtful degrading comment she meant-slip up. Or it had been intentional and probably the case of judging too fast and maybe the case of being a bad loser or sour grapes, bit of jealousy, that this woman got to be a playboy model and only she got to be in a beauty pageant so it could have been intentional. Whatever be the case no doubt it was hurtful and a bit degrading of a comment to your friend who is a playboy model but I am sure she has a lot of confidence and comments like this that are hurtful, might hurt a little while but think they might get that a lot, jealousy and harsh judgment-realize probably it is just part of the package of being in their profession. I am sure she won't and she wouldn't let this get her down and I hope neither do you. HUGS

 

[RavenMoon]

Also, to be fair you have to assume one of two things with that women, either she did not know what she was doing when she was answering the question, or she was so nervous thats how she responded. But either way it seems degrading.

I caught her interview on The Today Show via YouTube... the poor thing was nervous and blanked on the question, resulting in the jumbled mess that came out. Those girls are under a lot of pressure... She was cute about it though, laughing at herself and the press afterwards. I had to give her kudos for that.