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Is it a deal breaker?

O

OnnaOtaku

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Picture this: A beautiful, smart, classy, nice, ambitious man/woman is interested in you. You like to be with him/her and things are great. But wait! He/She isn't ticklish! Is that a deal breaker?

Would you or have you ever ended a relationship because you found out that the person you're with isn't ticklish or just hates to be tickled? How deep does your fetish go?

Or, do you find out first before you bother to pursue anyone? How important is it to have a ticklish significant other? How important is it that they like to be tickled?
 
Tickling to me is the equivalent of pussy to a "vanilla" fella, so I'm trying to figure out if I would have any use for her at all. Well let's see, I'm not interested in intercourse, not interested in giving oral but if she wants to give me oral that's fine with me. I'm assuming she has feet, so she could give me footjobs (the only sex I'm interested in). She can cook and clean for me, right? Hmmm, it would be tough even if she did all that. If I could get my tickling on the side I could swing it. Otherwise, no.
 
NonConTickler said:
Tickling to me is the equivalent of pussy to a "vanilla" fella, so I'm trying to figure out if I would have any use for her at all. Well let's see, I'm not interested in intercourse, not interested in giving oral but if she wants to give me oral that's fine with me. I'm assuming she has feet, so she could give me footjobs (the only sex I'm interested in). She can cook and clean for me, right? Hmmm, it would be tough even if she did all that. If I could get my tickling on the side I could swing it. Otherwise, no.
Click to expand...

Wait... You're not interested in intercourse? AT ALL?
eyepop.gif
 
How many options do people have in this dating world?!

I guess you can be this picky if you have numerous ones, but I've only dated two people...and both relationships sucked, so I'm it seems.
(Don't date super fundamentalist Catholic women or egotistical controlling women...no, the religious AREN'T crazy wild sexaholics behind closed door,
you won't even hold hands. Sex?! What's that? Hell, she "accused" me of wanting to have sex with her....when I knew not even to ASK...sheesh!
..and yes, she's, like, 37 now, and still single....no surprise there. I think I got married to my ex-wife because she'd actually wanted to hold my hand!)

You listed two options:
-Weren't ticklish
-hated to be tickled.

You can't do anything about the first one, unless she like, wears pantyhose and becomes super ticklish, but if that doesn't work, she's just not
ticklish. In that case, if tickling's not your life (it's sure not mine, I can count the number of ticklings I've given women, and only one or two were
ticklish, and it didn't last but a few seconds.)
In that case, there's sex, playing with her big boobs, pantyhosed footjobs, handjobs, cuddling, doing something together naked (watching a boring movie, end up
having sex 3 minutes in, playing checkers, end up having sex 5 minutes in, etc.) massages, role playing, costumes, etc. Then there's eating out, going for walks,
movies, sci-fi conventions, etc. etc......basically, life.

If she hates being tickled, you can do all of the above, but there's hope that shell eventually get into it, let her guard down, be able to enjoy it, relax, slow
tickling....it would probably work with the right person and mind set, but if not, I'd appreciate the fact that she tried.

For example, I personally hate being tickled - but I'd consent if it were the right women, someone who knocked me off my feet and made my head spin.
If I found someone like that, and she confessed she had an uncontrollable tickle fetish (why not go for the extreme!) and just looking at her made my heart beat
out of my chest...FUCK YEAH she can tickle me! Especially if she let me tickle her afterwards.

Because there's sometimes other fetishes that add to this equation. What if I found that super hot girl, who was totally in love with me, and aside from loving to tickle, she'd always agree to do it while wearing nylons, and had stunningly beautiful feet.......at that point I simply couldn't physically say "No." And then if she had big boobs...and if she had a beautiful laugh...and if she was great in bed....

It's all an equation, and the more pluses she gets, factored into the willingness and laid backness of me, it works out better and better.
 
Tough question, but seeing as I have had so many problems with women, I'd say if I ever met a woman like that, it would not be a deal-breaker, but it would really really suck.

I mean, for me, if I see a girl I wanna date - I know she's attractive
If she can hold a good conversation with me - I know she's smart.
If she is truly a good person - I know she's classy and generally nice.

ANDthe whole time I am finding all this out . . . I am praying that she is ticklish. If she is and really into me, she'll indulge in my kink... and I'd drop to one knee then & there...
 
At this point in time, I wouldn't be able to date a person that had an averse reaction to my telling them I was into tickling, and I have found it difficult to date vanilla people at all really lately.
 
My question to this one is simple, If she can't clearly be a lee seeing as how she's not ticklish, is she still willing to ler? cause if yes.. then it would not be a deal breaker... if no... well then i'd have to stop and think about it depending on if she's okay with my kink side.. and if she's okay with me entertaining my kink from time to time as well.
 
I've been in very happy relationships with people completely disinterested in tickling, even hating to be tickled. So I'd say that it wouldn't be a deal-breaker. Definitely a major sweetener if the person loves tickling, though. In the long run, as much as I love and as often as I think about tickling, there are more important things. Thanks for the question.
 
If I met a woman and we clicked, why should her being ticklish or not get in the way. The way I see it is that there is more to life than tickling. Why let one thing ruin something that could be great?
 
The question in the larger sense, which could apply to any couple, is "Could you have a relationship if your sexual styles did not mesh", and the answer would depend on how important sex is to that couple. Some vanilla friends of ours, well-matched in every other way (10/10 in looks, intelligence, income, prospects, socio-economic family background etc.) drifted apart after several years because they never connected sexually. The fact that they've found other partners but still can remain friends with one another proves that.
 
Libertine said:
The question in the larger sense, which could apply to any couple, is "Could you have a relationship if your sexual styles did not mesh", and the answer would depend on how important sex is to that couple. Some vanilla friends of ours, well-matched in every other way (10/10 in looks, intelligence, income, prospects, socio-economic family background etc.) drifted apart after several years because they never connected sexually. The fact that they've found other partners but still can remain friends with one another proves that.
Click to expand...

^Well-put. There are many factors of a relationship, and I would say that sexual compatibility can be just as important as any of them, no matter how well-matched a couple may be. All things aside, we are still human beings with simple, animal urges.
 
AnnieHall said:
At this point in time, I wouldn't be able to date a person that had an averse reaction to my telling them I was into tickling, and I have found it difficult to date vanilla people at all really lately.
Click to expand...

Pretty much this.

Open mindedness is one thing. Too often, people don't understand their part in making this work for them and their sex life, even though it simply boils down to easing someone in and mixing ticklish sensations along with pleasurable ones. If it's part of great experiences, the rest will work itself out.

But if it's a hard no, then it's never going to work out.
 
Not being ticklish would certainly be a deal breaker for me.

Hating to be tickled wouldn't be a deal breaker for me, but I imagine that it's me who would be the deal breaker to someone who hated to be tickled.
 
Yes, my lover has to be willing to receive bondage/tickling (among other things) from me.
 
I dated a girl for a long time that basically wasn't ticklish. And it was great. But honestly, it was a close thing. I had to really, really think about it before committing to that relationship.
 
It's a border-line thing. With feet she may come around if you have the patience or time. Other than that you will be greatly disappointed in the relationship because your interest in tickling or feet will not fade, and she will just not understand or care to which will build resentment. So, do not get caught up in this for long and think it's not important to you. Because, deep down..it is.
 
for me, no, lack of tickling is not a deal breaker but on the other hand every meaningful relationship I've ever had did include some degree of tickling.

But ponder this hypothetical: you connect with someone in a long term committed relationship and something happens to your Significant Other - for purposes of this hypothetical let's not quibble over details or the likelihood of this actually happening, let's just say it does - and s/he is unable to participate with you in any tickling (ler or lee), do you stay in that relationship? You can broaden this as Libertine suggested into any/all areas od sexual intimacy but, of course, for this forum and crowd, it is tickling. So, does tickling become the most important aspect of continuing a relationship or, once established, do other aspects of the relationship see you through the inability to engage in tickling? No right or wrong answer.

But for me, tickling is not a deal breaker, just a deal sweetener.
 
this is a good question i actually recently had this issue. i started dating a super sweet, very cute girl who almost immediately informed me that she would rather i cut her with a knife than tickle her. she IS ticklish but it was essentially used to torture and humiliate her as a kid and she can't stand it.

this caused some pause for me, i actually posted about it on the forum for feedback because i had two reactions to this: "uh-oh bad news" and "well, what if i only did a little bit...or taught her to like it..."

as time went on, several things have happened:
- she is delightfully ticklish and i've actually tickled her, genuinely by accident, several times. i don't feel guilty cause i didn't do it on purpose, but i still get to enjoy the reaction
- i have found that there are actually certain things that DO tickle her but also turn her on, and these things she does not ask me to stop doing. again, i get the reaction without the guilt
- she has actually come out and admitted to me that while she does genuinely hate to be tickled, she LOVES tickling other people. she thinks it's funny. i am a switch so this works out fabulously for me - she gets a kick and i get a thrill

so ultimately, if i had nipped the bud at "i'd rather you cut me with a knife", i would be missing out on this fantastic girl who is actually a lot more amiable to the concept than she is aware of. maybe it's not enough for some people but i don't absolutely need a girl to consent to bondage and tickling. i'll work with what i can get for the right girl and in this case i have been pleasantly surprised.

cheers
 
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