Is the word Fagot not offensive anymore?

[PenMasterRule]

My mom calls me both of those, as does my sister.. I'm not offended. I mean honestly if someone is offended by what's said then respect it. I wouldn't go around shouting things that offended everyone, but to the people that aren't offended I'll use it. But, I'm not sure how many people use ************ to refer to LGBT's anymore so.... I think people typically use it as you would use 'jackass' or 'fuckface'.

You are right. I mean I agree with you. You cantake it offensively and get mad about it or ignore it.

Believe me this thread was really written out of anger. All I was hearing was 'it's just words' and 'its watered down' and it just gave fuel for my fingers. I was really pissed off when I wrote it. You know I'm not uptight. I just felt really strongly about this all of a sudden.

So I'm not closed minded about what people are saying.

Edit: And I'm sorry your mom and sister call you that. Least you don't get offended.

 

[..Glamorous..]

You are right. I mean I agree with you. You cantake it offensively and get mad about it or ignore it.

Believe me this thread was really written out of anger. All I was hearing was 'it's just words' and 'its watered down' and it just gave fuel for my fingers. I was really pissed off when I wrote it. You know I'm not uptight. I just felt really strongly about this all of a sudden.

So I'm not closed minded about what people are saying.

Edit: And I'm sorry your mom and sister call you that. Least you don't get offended.

Hahah, I was just making sure I was coming across sounding like an insensitive bitch. LOL.

Edit: I call them worse, lol. It's no sweat, just teasing!

 

[drnkntklr]

I believe "************" falls under the same category as "************", "spic", etc. To some it is a big deal, to others it is not, and those with enough intelligence and class know to avoid saying it altogether.

 

[PenMasterRule]

Hahah, I was just making sure I was coming across sounding like an insensitive bitch. LOL.

Edit: I call them worse, lol. It's no sweat, just teasing!

I understand. lol yeah. I mean I like to show people I'm not just an observer myself, but sometimes the only thing you have is your beliefs and not much else.

I believe "************" falls under the same category as "************", "spic", etc. To some it is a big deal, to others it is not, and those with enough intelligence and class know to avoid saying it altogether.

I agree.

 

[AmandaBear]

It's offensive. I would liken it to the "n" word in that some gay men have reclaimed the word and find it OK for only them to say it. And then there are LGBT people who will never use it (like me). But that doesn't make it OK for straight people to say.

My general rule of thumb is, when in doubt, find another word. It's really not that much mental energy.

I agree with you here. I mean, I wouldn't wanna be called a dyke by a straight person, but I wouldn't mind referring to myself as such or being called a dyke by other gays and lesbians. But really, it would depend on my relationship with that person. Carsomyr can call me a dyke anytime! 😀 Just like I can call him a hairy Viking. But as for ************, I never use it in any type of conversation. =P

 

[Deleted member 66627]

How many are we talking about here? 100? 200?

I'm sorry, but that's like me saying it's ok to call white people 'devil and cracker' because I don't find it offensive anymore. I don't speak for my race and I doubt a few or several homosexuals speak for every homosexual either.

This isn't a battle about numbers. It wouldn't matter if one person in the gay community was okay with using that word, or a billion. -- There's still people out there within that community that are OK with it.

And, it's not OK to use any word with direct negative intention. Whether it be "************" or even something as benign to some as "fat". A large part of it has to do with context, in my opinion.

 

[PenMasterRule]

This isn't a battle about numbers. It wouldn't matter if one person in the gay community was okay with using that word, or a billion. -- There's still people out there within that community that are OK with it.

And, it's not OK to use any word with direct negative intention. Whether it be "************" or even something as benign to some as "fat". A large part of it has to do with context, in my opinion.

Well I agree with your opinion.

Well like others have said it falls into the choice category. You choose whether you say it or not say it.

 

[ParanoidChant]

Alot of it kinda has to do with context, IMO. If two friends toss a word like that around at each other jokingly its obviously different from someone yelling it at the person their kicking the shit out of.

I really can't address this issue as a member of any frequently-discriminated community, but I'd imagine that as time progresses and society progresses, epithets like '************' lose alot of their sting as scenarios like that second one I mentioned dwindle in frequency.

 

[sasaxrah]

Look, there are plenty of words you can be offended from. But only a small number of those words come from a history of violence. You are free to be offended by "brunette" or "ice cream lover" but they don't have that history.

I avoid words that have a history of being offensive and have an association with violence. Not all words are created equal, and you can't ignore historical context.

 

[MrMacphisto]

Only a fag would be offended by the word ************.











j/k 😉

 

[CurtWild]

I use it all the time.

I don't associate the word '************' with gay people.

 

[Mephistopheles]

I'm with Penn & Teller on this subject.

It's not the words, it's the message that we use to convey them.

If I were to call you a goddamned asshole, you shouldn't be offended because I used the words goddamned or asshole (or in this case, ************), you should be offended because of my apparent opinion of you.

 

[ViperGTS]

I like calling my TV a ************ when I lose at Guitar Hero because it makes me feel better. XD

I personally find very little to be offended about when it comes to words like these anymore. As I've grown up (and been called every name in the book) I have found that they are just words, nothing more. ************, ************, cuntface, dyke, douchebag, fangbanger - oh nooooes those werds are mean and hurtful! Aaaah!

If someone is offended by them, that is their prerogative, and I respect that around them. But if I am with friends, be they black or white, straight or gay, all KINDS of offensive and derogatory slurs get dropped because we just think they sound funny.

Besides, who DOESN'T laugh when a flamingly gay man with a pink mohawk looks at me and says, "You're such a ************ it makes my butt hurt."

That'd be my friend Brad. XD

 

[BellaRisa]

I believe "************" falls under the same category as "************", "spic", etc. To some it is a big deal, to others it is not, and those with enough intelligence and class know to avoid saying it altogether.

This.

I understand the folks who want to be forward thinking and take the sting out of these words, and those who feel the words aren't offensive anymore and they're even used by those who were once the targets of the hate (and the beatings and the lynchings that often went with them) . And honestly, I even agree that they're 'just words'. Now having said that, context is VERY important if you want to avoid looking like an ass and a possible stabbing. Such words DO hurt, and they do have history. I prefer to spend my time with those who have enough sense and compassion for their fellow man to avoid using these once (and still) hateful terms and phrases, or at least only use them with affection towards those they *know* will take it as intended and won't feel disrespected.

 

[Deleted member 66627]

I prefer to spend my time with those who have enough sense and compassion for their fellow man to avoid using these once (and still) hateful terms and phrases, or at least only use them with affection towards those they *know* will take it as intended and won't feel disrespected.

Thank you. This.

 

[BellaRisa]

While we're on it... 😉

I do NOT like the word '************' and I don't use it, but I do understand this:

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[chicago]

I don't use the word "************." To me, it's akin to using the word "************."

I don't care if the meanings are watered down, though I've never noticed them to be, even hearing other people use them, though I'm a straight white girl, it makes my skin crawl.

I don't care if no one around me would be offended by my using them. There are just some words that aren't cool to use, especially in a joking manner or as a put down.

Just my .02.

 

[TonyInMyThroat]

Just use “pato” or “maricón” instead; they’re much more fun to say and pack less of a sting to non-Spanish speaking fags.

 

[sasaxrah]

I don't use the word "************." To me, it's akin to using the word "************."

I don't care if the meanings are watered down, though I've never noticed them to be, even hearing other people use them, though I'm a straight white girl, it makes my skin crawl.

I don't care if no one around me would be offended by my using them. There are just some words that aren't cool to use, especially in a joking manner or as a put down.

Just my .02.

Agreed.

 

[Excess]

I don't use the word ************, since it's kinda like Annie says. However, I do use the suffix -fag sometimes, which generally describes someone from a certain group and isn't even necessarily an insult anymore. But I suppose I can see how some would find even that offensive.

 

[slacker2114]

Ok, after a long discussion on this subject last night, I posed a question that I feel is appropriate to this thread. I got great responses to it, so I'll throw it on here and get the opinions of everyone else.

Considering the trials and struggle for acceptance as well as the violence received by the gay community (and this would apply to any group that endured the same), do you think these groups could be the "bigger man" in such cases? What I mean is, why can they not just say "Fuck this. You will not degrade me and make light of me with your words because I will not let your words bother me"? It just seems that it only causes escalation by allowing a spoken word to affect someone. Someone calls a gay man a ************, the gay man responds with loud words, which are then returned with even more harsh words and next thing you know, there's a huge brawl going on.

Yes, I understand that ignoring a problem will not make it go away. But keep in mind the people who would use words like ************, ************, spic etc. tend to be ignorant assholes that are only liked by other ignorant assholes. But is it so hard to not be thin-skinned and just be the bigger person and walk away, not allowing the words to carry any sort of weight or sting?

I was told last night that my view on that is more of a personality trait of mine, and I can accept that. I have not had to go thru the struggles of acceptance in society like the various communities, so therefore speak with a less than educated view on the subject. I just think if we just put the past, along with the violence tied with it, behind us, it would take away the sting and would no longer offend. Keep in mind, I'm not saying forget the past, because if we do that then we've learned nothing. I'm saying to just not allow the past to affect us in any way other than a learning experience.

 

[chicago]

I think there are many people in general that see things the way you do, Slacker, but making fun of someone's sexual orientation can be something hard to just swallow and turn away from. Much like making fun of someone's ethnicity or family members, etc.

Certain even-keeled people may even find this to be a trigger for them.

I think the responsibility should be on those who use words such as ************ rather than who the words are aimed at.

 

[slacker2114]

I think the responsibility should be on those who use words such as ************ rather than who the words are aimed at.

But therein lies the problem. The person using the word obviously doesn't care about the hurtful aspect of a word and will use it liberally. That's why I suggested that the one on the receiving end be the one to take the high road in such situations.

 

[drewskee]

I do NOT like the word '************' and I don't use it, but I do understand this:

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This. 😀

 

[BellaRisa]

Now see...

But therein lies the problem. The person using the word obviously doesn't care about the hurtful aspect of a word and will use it liberally. That's why I suggested that the one on the receiving end be the one to take the high road in such situations.

I absolutely 100% agree...in theory. The problem is that humans tend to want and need respect, and we know that we teach people how to treat us; let something like that go by in the name of being the bigger person and all too often it doesn't stop there, every Alpha Male reading this knows that. Give a bully an inch and they want two feet before you know it, which is why we have the phrase 'don't start shit won't be shit'. What kills me is how often I see a statement about taking the high road regarding ************ or fag from hetero caucasian males, guys who I **know** would never tolerate similar bullying and name calling to their faces or that of their mothers or partners; the high road is mysteriously closed for construction when slurs hit too close to home. Not you personally Slacka luv, I know you have self control, but way too often the guy who says "it's just a word" about spic or kike or fag is the same dude slamming a barstool upside somebody's head for insulting him in a similar way, and the double standard kinda chafes 😎