Is tickling a fetish?

[Blackrook]

A love or active involvement in tickling is often characterized as a "fetish" on tmf and other forums. And I'm not sure that it is either a fetish or even if it is that it is in our collective interest to label it as such. My understanding of a fetish is that it is something that requires an object like a foot or shoe, or something concrete. On the other hand, tickling is an activity where objects may be involved, feathers and the like, but the thing required for sexual gratification is an object which tickling by definition is not. The other attribute of a fetish which causes me puzzle regarding tickling is that it usually is something that is dysfunctional requiring therapy or some type of professional intervention, which I wager is not something most of us who love tickling would need. So, in the end, tickling is really not a "fetish" but simply a preference, a desire or a passion. Some people prefer a tall partner, or a thin partner. Some men prefer women with big breasts or prefer large women. But that preference isn't a fetish. It's a preference. Let's not stigmatize our love of tickling by calling it a "tickling fetish". Tickling isn't a fetish or even a paraphilia. And it isn't in our collective interest to characterize it as such.

Rook

 

[mysterytic]

The Dictionary Definition

Most likely what you say is true that a fetish is defined by an object. I think, however, with today's definition, tickling would be brought under that category. I have seen many actions listed as fetishes. With the term fetish often having a negative meaning within our society, I don't dwell on it. Tickling to me makes any relationship so much more involved and enjoyable. My feelings are to hell with society's terms. My outlook is to enjoy and give enjoyment through tickling. Just my two cents.

 

[daryl]

Technically, no it is not a fetish. when the turn on pattern is to an activity as opposed to an object, it is clinically called a "paraphilia."

with the exception of some stuffy professors, most people use the term fetish instead 🙂

 

[Slappy McGee]

as I understand it, a fetish can be a fixation, on anything, not just a body part or object.....perhaps the term has outgrown it's original meaning, because I hear people refferring to having a fetish for everyday things, like shopping, ice cream, or hot tubs!! people have come to understand having a fetish as liking something a lot more than other people probably do, and it is an apt description oftentimes. The more it is used this way, the less negative connotations will be attached to it in my opinion.

 

[ktickler]

I remember "talking" about this in the forum a while ago. Tickling is technically not a fetish, but a deviancy. The reasons now escape me, but if we get dvnc here to participate, I am sure he will give details as to the why. I am sure there is a thread about this somewhere.

Anyone remember?

Now, personally, I think the term "fetish" is becoming overused in common everyday discussions to indicate someone who has an obsession or and great interest in something, e.g., chocolate fetish, shoe fetish (just when a woman likes to buy a lot of shoes), cotton fetish, etc.

I believe it is a good thing, because people have asked me if I have a foot fetish not to indicate if I get aroused when I touch feet, but to question the reason for my constant interest in feet.

I cannot see tickling as a fetish because I always associated fetish with something tangible (an object), kinky, negative, and violent. None of those terms describe tickling for me. I see tickling as something fun, innocent at times, positive, and friendly. For me, it is an obsession.

Take care,

Knight Tickler

 

[P.H. Tickler]

Deviancy... I LIKE that one ;-)

That's not a bad label, better than pervert or freak or whatever self depreciating labels I gave myself before I realized i wasn't the only one in the world with a DEVIANT interest in tickling.
Labels mostly suck, if you have to stop and analyze it, it's just not as much fun. As usual, I fall in between... Like tickling, but add nylons and feet and it becomes a turn on.
maybe it's just me, but deviance sounds like a less-threatening term than fetishist.
I will have to go charm the wife into some Voluntary DEVIANT activities

 

[dvnc]

Hey! Who invoked me? Ah, it's you, Knight Tickler. How goes, brother?

Knight's right to call it a deviancy, whether a sexual deviancy or a social one. Daryl's right, in that technically it is considered, psychologically speaking, as a paraphilia.

I dislike the notion of it as a fetish, and don't call it such, personally, but many do, colloquially. I prefer, for colloquial terms, t'call it a kink.

There is, in the back posts of this site, a thread on that topic. I remember looking up the definitions for the paraphilia in the DSM-IV at that time. It's the reference shrinks use to identify psychological behaviors considered near or out of bounds.

Interestingly, unless combined with non-consentual behaviors or other illegal behaviros, this kink is not legally troubling in most states. Don't remember where, but some states have actual laws against bondage in any form save by police and military.

Welcome to deviancy, folks,

My $0.02

dvnc

 

[Slappy McGee]

great....

we are changing from a term that is used to describe perverts to a term that is used to describe criminals......woohoo!

 

[SteelGut]

In my definition of fetish, the word objects include an action. So tickling is to my point of view a kind of fetish. I have other fetish as well, like the foot fetish. We say foot fetish, because we like the feet. To me liking the feet and licking the tickling is the same. And I am sure that there would be a lot of people into that definition too.. however I know that it doesn't fit everyone and you might exclude the action and the object if you want. Then the fetish could be like using a feather to tickle someone, or using soft gloves.. The fetish could be placed into the object then 🙂

 

[Bagelfather]

tickling a fetish, is a tomato a fruit?

An odd comparison it would seem but I think appropriate.

Is a tomato a fruit or a vegetable? The botanical and scientifict definition says that it is a fruit. The groecery store or layman definition would consider it a vegetable.

There I think tickling could be considered a fetish and not a fetish at the same time.

By the scientific definition of fetish, it is not a fetish.

By how society views things, it is a fetish.

I would suggest not mixing tickling and tomatos though, that's too kinky 😉

 

[Slappy McGee]

why can't we just call it BUNNIES!? people like bunnies, they are cuddly, cute, and nobody is scared of them.

Imagine this conversation if we referred to our tickling fetish/paraphilia/deviancy as BUNNIES:

Man: "I have an intense interest in bunnies. Do you like bunnies?"

Woman: "I love bunnies!"

🙂 🙂 🙂

and everyone lives happily ever after!

 

[terorizer]

I've always rejected the fetish term to describe my passion for tickling. Read the definition once and the "abnormal" tag rubbed me the wrong way. The NERVE! LOL After all, one culture's fetish is another culture's normal expression.

 

[kurchatovium]

I like Slappy's ideal lets call it a bunny. Deviant, kink and fetish have such negative conatations. Or maybe in this age of political correctness we should be able to coin a better term. Like "Alternative Sexuality Preference". Then you could say I have an ASP and not sound like you were a pervert or a criminal. Of course, bunny is still cuter.

 

[Slappy McGee]

I know "abnormal" has a negative connotation, but if you really think about what "normal" is, which is simply the average or middle ground behavior in a society, who really wants to be that way?? A "normal" person in the united states is one who loves mariah carey, Phil collins, and N'sync because they sell the most records, a "normal" person simply can't wait for the next big summer blockbuster, a "normal" person never misses an episode of friends, dawson's creek, or oprah, a normal person shops at the gap and abercrombie and fich, a normal person.....well, you get the picture.....If that is what is normal, the day I am normal my brain and a .44 slug will make friends, and I won't be posting here anymore.

normal is boring as hell.... so lets not say abnormal, lets just say......unique

🙂

 

[Krokus]

Well

I prefer to call it a Passion......but that is just me...... 😀 😎

 

[JoBelle]

normal is boring as hell.... so lets not say abnormal, lets just say......unique🙂

Don't "unique" up on bunnies to catch 'em? I don't think bunnies would work, Slappy....then all the feet folks would have rabbits' feet and that's just mean. How about Otters. Cute and they do tricks!

So the fact that I own a couple hundred pair of shoes (193 this week to be exact), and I get that kinky thrill buyin' 'em, might indicate that I have an ACTUAL shoe fetish by definition....hmmmm. That is very interesting to me. I never really thought about it in the true meaning of the word.
As far as tickling, I personally just refer to myself as being bent a little. Bendy is good. Hence, Tickling is my "bend" in play as I enjoy most of the vanilla (and caramel swirl 😉 ) stuff as well.

Just thinkin' out loud....but thanks for that info...I've never heard this discussed! Some great points!!
Jo

 

[TicklingIsLife]

To me, the word fetish sounds negative, so when we say we have a tickling fetish, fetish is really the key word, that it what people lock in in their head, in a negative way.

I prefer to call my "tickling fetish" a tickling interest



... something like that 😛 😛 😛 😛 😉 🙂

 

[Slappy McGee]

an otter passion.....

perhaps this can be some kind of secret code to identify each other in public.......if you meet someone who seems to be into tickling, but you aren't sure to what extent, you could simply ask them if they have a "passion for otters" and either they would look confused and say "what the hell??" or they will light up with glee and say "why yes!!! now you better tickle me!"

this is silly, but it has real potential!!!

New code word for tickling interest is "I have a passion for otters."

Let it be cried through the streets!!

Thanks for the great idea , Jo!!!!

 

[JoBelle]

Said the right way and "tickling interest" becomes something others become interested in as well I bet!!! I like that!!!

And umm...Slappy....don't ya think it would be wierd to be hoppin' up and down the street screaming, " I LOOOOVVVEE OTTERS!~!!! GIMMEE-GIMMEE- GIMME- OTTERRRRRRSSSS!!!"


Hehehe...but I do have my suspicions about a few folks..so I'm giong to casually bring up otters in converation an just report back later!!

hehe
Jo 🙂

 

[dvnc]

Uh, folks, if you're gonna go after folks outside of those of us that know we've this interest, why not just say, "I like tickling," or "Tickling turns me on." I've yet to meet someone that had an issue with such, so long as they got theirs, too. 😉

Seriously, what's wit' the deep desire for fancy nomenclature? Amongst the "vanilla" world (and you can BET they don't wanna know they're considered "vanilla") our interest is pretty tame until you include bondage or sm play. Weird, but true. Funny, too, 'cause there's more "out" about BDSM practices. We didn't invent safewords, negotiation (for play), boundaries (for play), safety calls, and the safety practices for bondage, after all. We inherited that fine info.

Amongst our own, it's a priviledge to share this interest. To "them", it's just that - an interest - until we're shown that it's accepted by 'em. THEN you get to decide whether or not to make up your own definitions, or go with the dictionary and the psych community in calling this a paraphilia, or more commonly, a deviancy.

I think Shakespeare had it right. By any other name...

dvnc

 

[JoBelle]

Hey there Dave,
You know the otter thing was just a little joke , right? 😉 Razzin' ya there bossman.

I think the fascination with "what we call ourselves" comes from that innate desire, whether most admit it or not, to be accepted by the people we care about. We might not try to categorize ourselves for the general population, but for those whose love and respect we want, surely we do!How do I make what I dig seem totally ok or even desirable to the person I'm talking to? ((blah blah blah)) Hell, we even differentiate in our own circle to attract someone of interest. (Though that probably isn't the only reason)...I'm a "foot tickler" or I'm an "upper body tickler." It's that search for a comfort level in ourselves, but moreso with others.
It is reality that you're never going to hit a comfortable place until you say to hell with everyone else. That will lead you to your own description of your kink, your fetish, your bend, your interst, your desire, your style, and you'll be content. I've no doubt that our light hearted attitude probably mortifies some of the folks who've just realized they're not alone. I would be intersted in hearing their views on "how do I name myself?"

Tickling is not a solo sport! It's the desire to play that instantly creates the desire for a playmate. I think that leads us to name ourselves, so we can attract someone who says, "Hey, that's what I call myself!"

Just my random coffee insprired thoughts,
Jo 🙂

 

[dvnc]

Darlin', I don't generally introduce myself as a "book reader" or a "renaissence faire re-enactor", or as a 'representative" of any other interest o' mine. I've an interest in this deviancy, but it's not all there is to me, thankfully.

Same's true wit' you. You're more than a deviant. You're an artist, a woman, a mother, etc...

I just don't dig the restrictive nature of supportin' such nomenclature. Announcin' an interest such as ours is personal.

Picture describin' yourself as straight. Now y'got a touch of a notion as to how the gay folks of the world feel. Add to that the statement, "I'm straight. Into missionary sex." Sounds weird, huh?

We don't talk sex in this culture. Makes such statements unusual. It's as uncivil as referrin' t'someone as "my gay friend" or sayin' "she's a cool lesbian" or the like. Now, sayin' you're kinky, or deviant, is generalized and something easy t'drop into conversation that's personally focused. There, it's ignorable for those too weak to deal with it, and opens it up for those that want to know.

My perspective, anyway, but it works for me. Has since high school, oddly. Mostly, it's a post-facto reference, 'cause any woman interactin' physically with me finds such out fairly quick. Usually it's a matter of mentionin' that tickling appeals to me, interests me, turns me on, etc. Most folks don't care, 'specially afterwards, so long as everything's fair.

dvnc

 

[terorizer]

Abnormalities

I know "abnormal" has a negative connotation, but if you really think about what "normal" is, which is simply the average or middle ground behavior in a society, who really wants to be that way??

I have no qualms whatsoever with not being "run o' the mill." Proud of it in fact. As it is though, I happen to think my passion for tickling while somewhat unique, is about as abnormal and strange as buying a Phil Collins or Nsync record. Normal to me is what's common to my surroundings and tickling has been a part of my surroundings all of my life.

 

[JoBelle]

Figured this out.

I'm slow, but I get there.....lol

I should say that my comments were in regard as to how I see myself in regard to tickling ALONE, not in how I introduce myself to others OR in how I see myself as a whole. That is the point I was trying to make. 😉That being said, I stand by my thoughts 100%...but I also agree with yours 100%...funny how that happened..lol
(GOD! I hate the written word sometimes! GRrrrrrr!!~ Inflection of the voice goes a long way.)
As a chap once said to me, I don't want to be the freakish person walking down the street with a big glowing neon sign on top of my head that screams into the night, "I like to tickle folks!" Unless of course I'm at Mardi Gras...and for that, I go on stilts!!

Jo

 

[thefeatheroom95]

For me, tickling is a hobby. I like to get better on my techniques, i read about it, i discuss it with other people, and its something that i can enjoy doing.